Talk:10 November 2001/Transcript

Sadly, I did my bit of the transcript (up to Schindler's Lifts) even though it had already been done. Of course mine was better though, har har. If you're in on this one (SiK, Bender) I recommend fixing up the grammar and punctuation. It's atrocious. Also, get rid of all the damn parenthesis with stuff like "(laughs)" - doesn't quite work with the new scripting. Also, take out the dialog within dialog.(But still props to who did this. It does take a damn lot of work. I'm just OCD.)--Knockinabout 21:47, 10 September 2007 (EDT)

ooooo ... we really need to make sure we are not duplicating work that has already been done! what a frustrating waste of time. sorry KA.  :( but it looks as if you did well actually to go over it. i'll check my alloted section tomorrow and work on the grammar and punctuation. indeed. Steve is King 22:17, 10 September 2007 (EDT)

Yeah this is all a bit complicated, it seems that the whole show has been done before? Are there any parts that have been missed, also we need to get KA's section if it lives up to the grammer and punctuality better. --Bender32 12:40, 11 September 2007 (EDT)

KA, i'm pasting my bit here because i don't know if i can just put it right in to an already-formatted show or what (let me know). hope that's not too much trouble. i just don't want to mess up your pretty squeek script.

this is schindler's lifts, c.o.'s breakfast show, and polaroids.

Ricky: Hives, Main Offender, before that Embrace, Make it Last -- I know you don't like Embrace much, but that's a nice tune.

Steve: Yeah.

Ricky: They do cut a nice little chorus –

Steve: Sure.

Ricky: - and I think their heart's in the right place.

Steve: OK.

Ricky: Yeah. Very nice. What, what - could you do better? I was mucking around...

Steve: That's always fair.

Ricky: No no, I was thinking, there's not enough avant-garde stuff, and I just did this right (unusual sound) - there's a little spring on the mic - what does that sound like? Does it sound good? I haven't got my headphones on. Does it sound good?

Steve: It sounds brilliant.

Ricky: I was thinking of just doing that, and sending it to John Peel, (continues making sound). Maybe with some samples of like politicians going "We will not t..aaar aar aaa"

Steve: I, I feel it's more a b-side,

Ricky: Yeah!

Steve: -- at the moment, but I mean it's strong, yeah, you could work that up,

Ricky: But that's without strings or anything, without -

Steve: Sure, that’s without, y’know, that’s just kind of a basic demo.

Ricky laughs

Steve: When you worked that up with a decent producer

Ricky: Yeah.

Steve and Ricky: Ooh-hoo!

Steve: Man a-live.

Ricky: Still coming, we've got Radiohead, we've got Ice Cu--

Steve: What are these fellas doing?

Ricky: Erm there's a couple of..

Steve: It’s quite noisy; it’s just distracting.

Ricky: Yeah, there's a couple of fellas behind us, um, taking pictures. Don't know why it takes two of them.

Steve: Mm.

Ricky: I think one of them just got, you know, a couple of hours out the office. They're from the, uh - what are you from? X-Mag?

guy: X-Ray.

Steve: X-Ray - what's X-Ray?

Karl: It's the Xfm magazine, Steve.

Steve: The Xfm what? Magazine?

Karl: Magazine.

Steve: Where where - is this available in shops?

Ricky: Is it - it's just a giveaway thing, to..

Karl: It's kinda giveaway, bit of information on bands,

Ricky: Right. Karl: What gigs are coming up, other stations --

Steve: Right. How is it available?

Ricky: Yeah, who gets it?

Karl: It's, it's in, er Top Magazines,

Steve: You're really selling it Karl, you're obviously a fan of the magazine.

Karl: It's alright!

Ricky: Yeah,

Karl: I don’t wanna make it – th-this seems now like you've said "Let's pretend we don't know what it is, you sell it on air, make it sound really good".

Steve: I don't know what it is!

Karl: Well, I'll show you later.

Steve: OK, cool!

Karl: And if people want a copy of it, they can go to the website and subscribe, and you get it for free.

Ricky: That's alright.

Steve: Cool.

Karl: And you’re gonna be in it.

Ricky: And we're going to be in it!

Karl: Centre pages.

Ricky: I, I didn- I don't look my best, I don't dress for radio, you know.

Steve: Mm. Ricky: And uh, you know,

Steve: Well, it's OK, ‘cause I'm photogenic.

Ricky laughs

Steve: So I’ll, I’ll make up for whatever you, uh, lack.

Ricky: I'll push you forward.

Steve: Rick, I don't know if you're aware of this, but we have some tickets to give away. Is your favourite band, Marc E Smith's The Fall?

Ricky: It is, yeah, go on.

Steve: I thought it was, and is your favourite venue the Kentish Town Forum?

Ricky: Ohh I'd see anything there –

Steve laughs

Steve: If you –

Ricky: I'd see The Fall anywhere, and I'd see anything there, so if you're telling me The Fall are there, we're not giving’m away Steve. I'd like those for m’self.

Steve: Rick, I'm just trying to remember if your favourite support act of late is "Schindler"?

Ricky: Aww ...no I hate 'em.

Steve laughs

Ricky: I'm not going. Give them away.

Steve: OK so the doors are at 7.30, doesn't say when it is.

Karl: It’s tonight.

Steve: Is it tonight?

Ricky: I'm only joking, Schindler, I'm only joking by the way. To Schindler, to the lads in Schindler, if they think I'm being a little bit nasty.

Steve: It’s tonight, it's at 7:30, the tickets are £11.50 in advance, I'm assuming there's probably some still left, but we have some to give away - how many have we got to give away?

Karl: Thr--three pairs.

Steve: Three pairs is it? Um, have you -- talking of Schindler, you know the, the people that make lifts, or, I think, escalators as well

Ricky laughs

Ricky: Oh yeah.

Steve: If you notice,

Ricky: Yeah.

Steve: Like in the bottom of a lift, it always says "Schindler". It's always made by some organisation called Schi-- do you think it's the same Schindler, like from Schindler's list?

Ricky: So it's Shindler's lifts.

Steve laughs.

Steve: Shindler's lifts.

Ricky: And it was passed down wrong - "No, I didn't make a list”.

Steve: Yeah. Exactly.

Steve laughs

Ricky: “No, I made lifts!”

Steve: Yeah, I don’t think—

Ricky: “You're joking!” Spielberg was going "I've made a whole film about them!”

Steve: It was 3 hours, it was in black and white, for God's sake.

Ricky: (mumbles) "Where’d you get the lift" - " There was no lifts in it! I thought it was a list you made".

Steve laughs

Ricky: “No, I made lifts" . "Oh, I don't believe it".

Steve: Anyway, next time you're in a lift, check that out, that is true. Anyway, we've got 3 tickets for The, uh, Fall, sorry, 3 pairs of tickets for The Fall who are performing tonight, at the Kentish Town Forum, if you'd like to win them, here's a question for you - which Radio 1, rival station, which Radio 1 personality used to be a member of The Fall. If you know then you can get in touch on 087008001234.

Ricky: Is it Zoe Ball. Is it Zoe Ball?

Steve: Uh, or it’s [email protected].

Ricky: Is it Chris Moyles? Is it Chris Moyles?

Steve: I – I don’t want to give it away.

Ricky: Is it John Peel?

Steve: Don't want to give it away.

Ricky: OK.

Steve: But two words for you –

Ricky laughs

Steve: Emma B.

song

Song: Radiohead - Paranoid Android

[edit] Christian O'Connell Breakfast Show Ad

Sombre Announcer:Xfm would like to apologise for material broadcast on November the 8th on the breakfast show with Christian O'Connell. The show featured the comedian and author Ben Elton. Xfm would like to point out that during live interviews we cannot realistically expect to control the language and content of our guest's material. However Christian would like to offer a full and frank apology for the fact that Mr. Elton appeared to have overdosed on the arsehole tablets that morning. Christian would like you to know that the dullard will never be on again. We really are sorry.

Polaroids

Ricky: It is indeed. We're just looking at the um, the Polaroids, the tests that photographers do.

Steve: I'm not at all happy.

Ricky: No, d’y’know what I mean, though, it’s like, I kid m’self, I must walk around, it-it-it does take mirrors and photographs, and I go "Oh no, yeah, I forgot I look like that" .

Steve: Yeah.

Ricky: D’y’know ‘ I mean? Sorta like you – look at that. ‘Like a tree trunk.

Steve: Yeah - look at me Rick, there. That's always with me.

Ricky: Ohhh. There was a bloke downstairs thought I was Johnny Vegas! He was goin’ I love those adverts with the monkey! I didn't have the nerve to say "I'm not him". At one point he actually said, “ I like that one where he hits you, and I went “Yeah”, he went "You doing anymore adverts?", and I went, "Yeah, a couple more".

Steve laughs

Ricky: I just thought it's gone too far now, I can't say "I'm not Johnny Vegas".

Steve: Sorry, I'm not really listening Rick, ‘cause I want to say to you, can you get me more square on.

Ricky: Yeah.

Steve: ‘Cause square on I'm not s’ bad, it's from the side.

Ricky: Yeah, the side looks bad.

Steve: Alright, calm down Rick! Jeez!

Ricky: Yeah, yeah, we -

Steve: Karl what do you make of that - pretty face?

Ricky: Yeah, this isn’t, this isn't great radio.

Steve: No it's not, you’re right.

Ricky: I - I know we never do do great radio,

Steve laughs

Steve: But yeah.

Ricky: But this is really,

Steve: This certainly, this is some of the worst we've done.

Ricky: We were talking um, before about uh Shindler's lifts.

Steve: Yes.

Ricky: Those people who just make one thing,

Steve: Mm.

Ricky: And they're famous for that, now do you think the monopoly commissions should investigate Armitage Shanks?

Steve: Yes.

Ricky: Because I've never seen another -

Steve: Never seen another sink or toilet made by anyone else.

Ricky laughs

Ricky: No, did the, when did they take over this? Can you hear that clicking?

Steve: Yeah. Would you just stop just for a second while we're just, just doin’ –

Ricky laughs

Ricky: ‘Cause he can't talk ‘cause he's trying to make himself look so handsome!

Steve: Well exactly, I've got to keep strikin’ poses!

Ricky: He’s straining to sort of look, normal!

Steve: I tell ya’ – I’ve just changed my mind, I wanna, you know the, you remember that George Michael video where he doesn't appear, he just gets supermodels to play him,

Ricky: Yeah,

Steve: Or kind of replace him, can we do that, maybe instead? Just get a leggy blond in. That’d be fine.

Ricky: In, in, inn our place, like 5 people –

Steve: Exactly.

Ricky: Instead of "This is Steve".

Steve: Exactly.

Ricky: "But he looks like 5 women!" “Yeah, no, that is Steve”.

Steve: And, so, you were talking about Shanks.

Ricky: Yeah. Shanks. Armitage.

Steve: They cert- they've got it sewn up. They’ve certainly got it sewn up.

Ricky: They have, haven't they?

Steve: Yeah.

Ricky: When did they, like, get big?

Steve: I don't know who the Shanks people are, I don't think they make anything else though, I've never seen them making anything else other than lavatories, and sinks. They seem to have got that --

Ricky: So, who, who went, “We are going to make, we’re gonna make so many urinals, there, there's going to be too many urinals, no one's going to have a look-in, when everyone, when anyone's out having a slash they're just going to be thinking –

Steve: Yeah.

Ricky: -- Armitage Shanks"

Steve: But presumably there's someone called Armitage Shanks –

Ricky: Could be.

Steve: Who's got his name all over that. Whenever you meet him, you're just thinking, "I've had a waz".

Ricky: On Armatige Shanks.

Steve laughs

Steve: On Armitage Shanks. Is “waz a word we can – we can say "waz", can't we?

Ricky: Yeah, or piss, or slash.

Steve laughs

Steve: Either of them's fine. Ohhh.

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