01 February 2003

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Xfm Series 2
August 2002 - August 2003
List of episodes

Episodes:

  1. 24 August 2002 (Transcript)
  2. 31 August 2002 (Transcript)
  3. 07 September 2002 (Transcript)
  4. 14 September 2002 (Transcript) ('Best of')
  5. 21 September 2002 (Transcript)
  6. 28 September 2002 (Transcript)
  7. 05 October 2002 (Transcript)
  8. 12 October 2002 (Transcript)
  9. 19 October 2002 (Transcript)
  10. 26 October 2002 (Transcript)
  11. 02 November 2002 (Transcript)
  12. 09 November 2002 (Transcript)
  13. 16 November 2002 (Transcript)
  14. 23 November 2002 (Transcript)
  15. 30 November 2002 (Transcript)
  16. 07 December 2002 (Transcript)
  17. 14 December 2002 (Transcript)
  18. 21 December 2002 (Transcript)
  19. 28 December 2002 (Transcript) ('Best of')
  20. 04 January 2003 (Transcript)
  21. 11 January 2003 (Transcript)
  22. 18 January 2003 (Transcript)
  23. 25 January 2003 (Transcript)
  24. 01 February 2003 (Transcript)
  25. 08 February 2003 (Transcript)
  26. 15 February 2003 (Transcript)
  27. 22 February 2003 (Transcript) ('Best of')
  28. 01 March 2003 (Transcript) ('Best of')
  29. 08 March 2003 (Transcript)
  30. 15 March 2003 (Transcript)
  31. 22 March 2003 (Transcript)
  32. 29 March 2003 (Transcript)
  33. 05 April 2003 (Transcript)
  34. 12 April 2003 (Transcript)
  35. 19 April 2003 (Transcript)
  36. 26 April 2003 (Transcript)
  37. 03 May 2003 (Transcript)
  38. 10 May 2003 (Transcript)
  39. 17 May 2003 (Transcript)
  40. 31 May 2003 (Transcript)
  41. 07 June 2003 (Transcript)
  42. 14 June 2003 (Transcript)
  43. 21 June 2003 (Transcript)
  44. 28 June 2003
  45. 05 July 2003
  46. 12 July 2003
  47. 19 July 2003
  48. 26 July 2003
  49. 02 August 2003
  50. 09 August 2003
  51. 16 August 2003

Karl slags off clairvoyants, Ricky slags off God and Stephen slags off Karl (then punches him in the arm). The birth of Karl in a Film.

Track Listing

For a partial transcript of this episode see 01 February 2003/Transcript.

1. I Don't Like Ear Plugs (0:00:00)

Karl's grumpy because he's from the North and the builders woke him up. Discussion of the pros and cons of ear plugs. What would it be like for snails who get 13 years sleep.

2. It's Bringing the Show Down (0:03:40)

Two new competitions to come. Steve wants to stop Rockbusters and Ricky recalls some classic highlights. Ricky's excited about their new film-based quiz. Win The Sixth Sense. A blind clairvoyant on Christian's breakfast show was a bit rubbish. Karl's got thoughts about people who wear glasses, including Steve. Steve punches Karl.

3. Would Anyone Want a Kid That Much? (0:09:41)

Ricky starts with a fake proper DJ intro. People are mistaken who want to be Ricky's mate. Imagine sharing a prison cell with him. Ricky and Karl were out in the week and discussed reproduction with a squid. Suzanne can understand why Karl and Ricky are mates. Identical twins who marry identical twins: would their kid look the same? Siamese twins who have affairs. Selfish Siamese twins.

4. Karl is a Frustrated Actor (0:17:36)

New competition time: Karl in The Sixth Sense.

5. www.apeonaut.org (0:21:33)

Suggested competition title: The Twix Sense. Send in ideas for films. Karl's never liked having to show his workings because he usually can't. Karl's got "proof" of his monkey story from last week but Ricky and Steve are incredulous. Karl's so overworked he can't sort out monkey information. Springsteen for Martin Freeman.

6. One of the Biggest Radio Stations in the Building (0:26:41)

The Twix Sense is the most popular competition to date; they play it again. Francis or Frances whose mum is the only one who remembered his birthday. Richard Anderson emails in.

7. We've Got the Best Fans in the World (0:32:21)

Holly-wouldn't. Suggestions for film roles for Karl. Karl's got a plan for Rockbusters. Rockbusters prizes and clues, including one with a sound effect. Ricky makes up titles for upcoming features.

8. This is Mentalists (0:37:02)

Time for Chimpanzee That and a monkey called "Crap". Name a monkey Ted or Dave instead. Part 1 discussion of the 3000 year old Neanderthal Man found frozen in ice.

9. The Premise Means It's Not True (0:42:06)

The truth is more interesting than wish fulfillment. A ghost that can turn custard into wine. Iceman discussion part 2. Karl's annoyed that time, effort, and money were spent on the frozen old man. Ricky does Columbo. What if scientists dug up Karl. What if aliens abduct Karl.

10. Can We Experiment on Karl? (0:49:15)

Rockbusters answers. Ricky advises the winner sells his prizes bag of shite to Record and Tape Exchange for one album. Karl is scared of the human body. Tattoo Stan and the man who saved his father's tattoo after he died. Our kid had a tattoo and an earring. Karl's Sister in the car park.

Quotes

Steve: Email in if you know what on earth Karl is talking about.
Ricky: Ever.

Steve: I meet people on the street, they go, 'I wish I was Ricky Gervais's mate'. No you don't. Let me put your mind at rest now, you're not missin' anything. Am I right, Karl?

Steve: I forgot to bring in a Song For The Ladies this week so I thought I'd play a song for people who enjoy the work of Deep Purple!

Rockbusters

The Australian picks two blokes. E.
That builder's a bit cute. B.T.
Sound Effect Rockbuster ("That Song Sounds Alright") - Smack My Bitch Up

Playlist

Badly Drawn Boy - Born Again
Wu Tang Clan - Uzi
The Cardigans - For What It's Worth
Manfred Mann - Quinn the Eskimo
Feeder - Just the Way I'm Feelin'
Papa Garcia - Natalie and Nucy
Bruce Springsteen - Nothing Man
Eminem - Sing for the Moment
Teenage Fanclub - I Need Direction
Jesse Malin - Brooklyn
Coldplay - Clocks
David Bowie - Letter to Hermione
Eve feat. Gwen Stefani - Let Me Blow Ya Mind
Deep Purple - Hallelujah

External Links

Series 0   |   Series 1   |   Series 2   |   Series 3   |   Series 4
Presenters Ricky Gervais | Stephen Merchant | Karl Pilkington
Others Claire Sturgess | Ian Camfield | Simon Pegg | Nick Frost
Features Monkey News | Rockbusters | Song For The Ladies | Song For The Lovers
Hip-Hop Hooray | Cheap as Chimps | White Van Karl | Songs of Phrase
Cheeky Freak of the Week | Do We Need 'Em? | More...