02 March 2002: Difference between revisions

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The grand revealing of Karl's GCSE results, results in disappointment, educational plans and nostalgia.
==Track Listing==
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!{{sectionhead|#EEEEEE|#AAAAAA|left|''For a full transcript of this episode see [[02 March 2002/Transcript]].''}}
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==Track Listing==
====1. [[02 March 2002/Transcript# If I Win, I Won't Tell Ya|If I Win, I Won't Tell Ya]] ''(0:00:00)''====
1. ''' Lottery '''
If Karl wins the lottery, he and [[Suzanne]] would probably break up because they like different things.  Discussion of the improbability of winning the lottery. Going on a world cruise - "Where do you go next year?"
<br>Discussion of the improbability of winning the lottery.


2. ''' Russell Crowe's Fight  '''
====2. [[02 March 2002/Transcript# If You Didn't Have Bad Things, You Wouldn't Enjoy the Good Things|If You Didn't Have Bad Things, You Wouldn't Enjoy the Good Things]] ''(0:04:42)''====
<br>Karl gives his opinion on Russell Crowe's fight with a TV director at the BAFTAs.
Ricky mentions 4 Non Blondes as expected, [[White Van Karl|White Van Man]] question on Russell Crowe's BAFTA behavior, Crowe could have photocopied his poem for the audience, Has Kylie had a bum job?, Will Young single, embryo cloning.


3. '''Karl's GCSE Results'''
====3. [[02 March 2002/Transcript# |What Do You Mean, Register?]] ''(00:10:49)''====
<br>Ricky & Steve have contacted Karl's school, and found out his GCSE exam results. Karl is surprised to hear that he only took one, History, for which he got an E. He's annoyed because he turned up for more. It appears that he was not registered for the others.
Ricky & Steve have contacted Karl's school, and found out his GCSE exam results. Karl is surprised to hear that he only took one, History, for which he got an E. He's annoyed because he's sure he  turned up for more. It appears that he was not registered for the others.  Ricky wants him to learn about Rasputin, and offers to pay for him to take it again.


4. '''GCSE Repercussions'''
====4. [[02 March 2002/Transcript# Divorced, Beheaded, Died|Divorced, Beheaded, Died]] ''(0:17:49)''====
<br>Karl is upset about his result. He has got jobs in the past by claiming to have more qualifications, though he didn't need to for his job at XFM.
Karl is upset about his result. He has got jobs in the past by claiming to have more qualifications, though he didn't need to for his job at Xfm.  [[Karl's Brother|Mark Pilkington's]] confidence, Karl liked to distract his teachers as a kid.  [[Karl's Mam|Mrs Pilkington]] taught Karl a special version of the alphabet song.


5. '''Educating Karl'''
====5. [[02 March 2002/Transcript# Educating Karl|Educating Karl]] ''(0:21:18)''====
<br>Ricky wants to help Karl, and appeals for a History teacher to give him lessons, so he can re-sit his GCSE.
Ricky wants to help Karl, and appeals for a History teacher to give him lessons so he can re-sit his [[Karl's GCSE results|GCSE]].  Gut Bucket playing tonight in E1.


6. '''Gladiator'''
====6. [[02 March 2002/Transcript# Sort of an Old Version of Rocky|Sort of an Old Version of Rocky]] ''(0:24:17)''====
<br>Karl reviews the film Gladiator. He finds a number of historical inaccuracies in it, after researching on the internet. 5/10
Karl [[Karl's Film Review|reviews the film]] Gladiator and finds a number of historical inaccuracies in it, after researching on the internet. 5/10


7. '''Rasputin'''
====7. [[02 March 2002/Transcript#  Rasputin, Rapunzel, and the Three Billy Goats Gruff|Rasputin, Rapunzel, and the Three Billy Goats Gruff]] ''(0:29:41)''====
<br>Karl has been studying Rasputin. He doesn't understand why he's a historical figure - "he just sounds a bit like me brother".
Karl has been studying Rasputin. Face full of Battenberg and Boney M.  Karl doesn't understand why he's a historical figure - "he just sounds a bit like me brother".  Next week, Che Guevara.


8. '''Friends Reunited'''
====8.[[02 March 2002/Transcript#It Was a Skittle| It Was a Skittle]] ''(0:36:06)''====
<br>Ricky & Steve have been looking up Karl's school friends on Friends Reunited. They discuss some of them. One had written he remebered Karl having a magpie. Karl recounts that it used to pop the tyres of his Grifter bicycle. He took it to school, and it flew away.
Ricky & Steve have been looking up [[Karl's Schoolmates|Karl's school friends]] on Friends Reunited. Darren Buckley and his gambling problem.  His copper dad finds a Skittle and thinks it's drugs.   Kids at school with beards, the kid who didn't have enough milk, and [[Maggie the Magpie|Karl's pet magpie]].   She used to pop the tyres of his Grifter bicycle. He took it to school, and it flew away.


9. '''Alan Bennett'''
====9. [[02 March 2002/Transcript#She Wanted Me|She Wanted Me]] ''(0:46:01)''====
<br>The end of a "Karl special". Ricky & Steve compare his monologues to Alan Bennett's. Karl confuses him with Tony Bennett.
Ricky & Steve compare his monologues to Alan Bennett's, who Karl confuses with Tony Bennett.  The girls at school who fought over Karl, and more of Karl's old classmates.  The end of a "Karl special".


==Quotes==
==Quotes==
 
'''Karl:''' The Tudors? I don't even know if I had a family back then.<br><br>
'''Karl:''' The Tudors? I don't even know if I had a family back then.
'''Steve:''' What about this big debate over whether Kylie Minogue has had a bum job?<br>
'''Karl:''' I’d have to see it.<br><br>
'''Ricky:''' "Punch me on the arm!".."No! Punch me on the arm, Karl!".<br><br>
'''Ricky:''' There’s a certain lack of respect for the... squid and octopi fraternity.<br><br>
'''Karl:'''  Um, he was um, he was a monk.<br>
'''Ricky:''' Mad?


==Playlist==
==Playlist==
Clinic - Walking With Thee<br>
Zero 7 - ''Distractions''<br>
Verve - Sonnet<br>
Stone Roses - ''I Wanna Be Adored''<br>
Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - Spread Your Love<br>
Clinic - ''Walking With Thee''<br>
Aimee Mann - Red Vines<br>
Verve - ''Sonnet''<br>
Dandy Warhols - Get Off<br>
Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - ''Spread Your Love''<br>
Jimmy Webb - Galveston<br>
Aimee Mann - ''Red Vines''<br>
Travis - Sing<br>
Dandy Warhols - ''Get Off''<br>
(unknown track)<br>
Jimmy Webb - ''Galveston''<br>
Sugababes - Are Freaks Electric<br>
Travis - ''Sing''<br>
[[Hip-hop Hooray]]:''Spearhead - People in Tha Middle''<br>
Cornershop - ''Lessons Learned From Rocky I To Rocky III''<br>
(unknown track)<br>
Sugababes - ''Are Freaks Electric''<br>
[[Hip-Hop Hooray]]: Spearhead - ''People in Tha Middle''<br>
Mary Lorson - ''Oh Regret''<br>


==Extras==
== External Links ==
[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYO1-gGWJyo Travis - Sing] (mollusk abuse at it's finest)


==Download==
{{Xfm Box}}
[http://www.archive.org/download/RickyGervaisStephenMerchant_13/s01e14.mp3 Archive.org]


==See Also==
[[Category:Episode Pages|1.14]]
*[[Xfm Series 0]]
*[[Xfm Series 2]]
*[[Xfm Series 3]]
*[[Xfm Series 4]]

Latest revision as of 00:26, 2 August 2020

Xfm Series 1
November 2001 - May 2002
List of episodes

Episodes:

  1. 10 November 2001 (Transcript)
  2. 17 November 2001 (Transcript)
  3. 24 November 2001 (Transcript)
  4. 01 December 2001 (Transcript)
  5. 08 December 2001 (Transcript)
  6. 15 December 2001 (Transcript)
  7. 22 December 2001 (Transcript)
  8. 12 January 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.1
  9. 19 January 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.2
  10. 26 January 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.3
  11. 09 February 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.4
  12. 16 February 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.5
  13. 23 February 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.6
  14. 02 March 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.7
  15. 09 March 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.8
  16. 16 March 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.9
  17. 23 March 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.10
  18. 30 March 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.11
  19. 06 April 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.12
  20. 13 April 2002 (Transcript)
  21. 20 April 2002 (Transcript)
  22. 27 April 2002 (Transcript)
  23. 04 May 2002 (Transcript)

The grand revealing of Karl's GCSE results, results in disappointment, educational plans and nostalgia.

Track Listing

For a full transcript of this episode see 02 March 2002/Transcript.

1. If I Win, I Won't Tell Ya (0:00:00)

If Karl wins the lottery, he and Suzanne would probably break up because they like different things. Discussion of the improbability of winning the lottery. Going on a world cruise - "Where do you go next year?"

2. If You Didn't Have Bad Things, You Wouldn't Enjoy the Good Things (0:04:42)

Ricky mentions 4 Non Blondes as expected, White Van Man question on Russell Crowe's BAFTA behavior, Crowe could have photocopied his poem for the audience, Has Kylie had a bum job?, Will Young single, embryo cloning.

3. What Do You Mean, Register? (00:10:49)

Ricky & Steve have contacted Karl's school, and found out his GCSE exam results. Karl is surprised to hear that he only took one, History, for which he got an E. He's annoyed because he's sure he turned up for more. It appears that he was not registered for the others. Ricky wants him to learn about Rasputin, and offers to pay for him to take it again.

4. Divorced, Beheaded, Died (0:17:49)

Karl is upset about his result. He has got jobs in the past by claiming to have more qualifications, though he didn't need to for his job at Xfm. Mark Pilkington's confidence, Karl liked to distract his teachers as a kid. Mrs Pilkington taught Karl a special version of the alphabet song.

5. Educating Karl (0:21:18)

Ricky wants to help Karl, and appeals for a History teacher to give him lessons so he can re-sit his GCSE. Gut Bucket playing tonight in E1.

6. Sort of an Old Version of Rocky (0:24:17)

Karl reviews the film Gladiator and finds a number of historical inaccuracies in it, after researching on the internet. 5/10

7. Rasputin, Rapunzel, and the Three Billy Goats Gruff (0:29:41)

Karl has been studying Rasputin. Face full of Battenberg and Boney M. Karl doesn't understand why he's a historical figure - "he just sounds a bit like me brother". Next week, Che Guevara.

8. It Was a Skittle (0:36:06)

Ricky & Steve have been looking up Karl's school friends on Friends Reunited. Darren Buckley and his gambling problem. His copper dad finds a Skittle and thinks it's drugs. Kids at school with beards, the kid who didn't have enough milk, and Karl's pet magpie. She used to pop the tyres of his Grifter bicycle. He took it to school, and it flew away.

9. She Wanted Me (0:46:01)

Ricky & Steve compare his monologues to Alan Bennett's, who Karl confuses with Tony Bennett. The girls at school who fought over Karl, and more of Karl's old classmates. The end of a "Karl special".

Quotes

Karl: The Tudors? I don't even know if I had a family back then.

Steve: What about this big debate over whether Kylie Minogue has had a bum job?
Karl: I’d have to see it.

Ricky: "Punch me on the arm!".."No! Punch me on the arm, Karl!".

Ricky: There’s a certain lack of respect for the... squid and octopi fraternity.

Karl: Um, he was um, he was a monk.
Ricky: Mad?

Playlist

Zero 7 - Distractions
Stone Roses - I Wanna Be Adored
Clinic - Walking With Thee
Verve - Sonnet
Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - Spread Your Love
Aimee Mann - Red Vines
Dandy Warhols - Get Off
Jimmy Webb - Galveston
Travis - Sing
Cornershop - Lessons Learned From Rocky I To Rocky III
Sugababes - Are Freaks Electric
Hip-Hop Hooray: Spearhead - People in Tha Middle
Mary Lorson - Oh Regret

External Links

Travis - Sing (mollusk abuse at it's finest)

Series 0   |   Series 1   |   Series 2   |   Series 3   |   Series 4
Presenters Ricky Gervais | Stephen Merchant | Karl Pilkington
Others Claire Sturgess | Ian Camfield | Simon Pegg | Nick Frost
Features Monkey News | Rockbusters | Song For The Ladies | Song For The Lovers
Hip-Hop Hooray | Cheap as Chimps | White Van Karl | Songs of Phrase
Cheeky Freak of the Week | Do We Need 'Em? | More...