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The Darkness--Growing on Me. Best rock band since Thin Lizzy. So says R. Gervais.
{{Template:Infobox_Xfm_Series_2}}
Ricky reads a survey--Mancunians take more sick days than anyone else in the UK.
Karl takes a shot at the Liverpudlians. Something about thieving? How many computers are gonna go missing? ...so says the K-Man.
Got a girl at your flat on a friday night? Karl says, "Stick the telly on"  Sexy songs are rubbish.
"Please welcome to the stage, RESTLESS DIESEL!" They're playing tonite locally...won't see them opening for U2 at Wembley though.
Back from a song....Karl has another go at Steve about being sick at his parents' house in Bristol with tonsilitis. Ricky--The piss taken! we're like three blokes in a pub!
Karl....London is making him ill, he's not sleeping. "If I dropped down dead tonight, I'd love it"
Steve--"Rick don't take this the wrong way, he's (Gary Kemp) aged better than you"
and then--"what old times did you have with Gary Kemp?"
Karl then has an opening about Steve's looks and he takes it. Of course, to Ricky's amusement.
Steve comments about MTV ads which are absolutely drivel. 40-somethings trying to make adverts that are cool. "Isabella's 17, she has a tattoo, she's wild she's crazy....etc. she doesn't smoke cigarettes!"  Rubbish. Ricky mimicing mum: "I'd rather she smoked! She now has a spider's web on her face for the rest of her life!"
There used to be an advert apparently (Charlie says?) where a cat gave kids advice, so there's talk about that. Karl recalls ("maybe these adverts GIVE you ideas") when he and his mates faked an abduction in Wales, after seeing one of the adverts, and of course the mom went mental thinking her son was gone. "She was maybe screaming a little bit an' that"
Another Karl childhood story .... on the beach. Mum gave Karl a balloon. But then the problem--loads of kids also had balloons. Bin that idea.
Steve then recalls a balloon story. In Bristol on New Year's eve, he had a balloon, and the girls came up to him ("hey yeah, maybe a little new year's kiss"), and said, "we've arranged to meet BACK at you, cause we can see you from anywhere." Of course Steve got no party invite, and watched them go off in a cab.
An emailer gives his pre-emptive Rockbusters answers before the cryptic clues are even given. Brilliant.
Taking the radio show on the road dies a quick death. What was that band playing tonight? We could have them on. Someone from Big Brother 2...
Steve reads this week's prizes now. And now Rockbusters--after a bit of Blur.
They decide to do Educating Ricky instead of Rockbusters--"OOOHHH, you've told me! Educating Ricky" is the jingle. Sounds familiar. Same people do the jingle.
Mount Everest. There's a littering/rubbish problem up there. Whoever is in charge of the mountain is not happy. And do you know how they named it? When you get to the top you need to HAVE A REST....EV-E-REST.
But that wasn't even the educating Ricky part. Karl read about cryogenics recently and they discuss it. Walt Disney apparently is cryogenically frozen, e.g.
Karl wonders what would become of him and Suzanne if he was suspended for 40 years. Would he have to stay with Suzanne--cause she'd be 70! It's not fair is it?
"They're never gonna find a cure for what ails you" says Steve.
Steve then recounts the Biblical King Solomon story about the women arguing over the baby.
Karl reads the rockbusters clues again.
1.All the police cars are on fire--BS
2.The director of "28 days later" is shouting about sleeping outside--DB
3. He wants to be a sailor. why is that.--B
Ricky quizzes Karl--what towns DID you like?
Karl doesnt like NYC, Paris, Venice, ANYWHERE
"That was 'wish you were here' with Karl Pilkington!"
Then we find out--
Karl's family isn't even living in Manchester anymore.
Ricky--"That's just ONE family, who loved Manchester!"
World record for breaking wind....Auntie Nora didn't get in the Guinness book of world records because neither Norris nor Ross McWhirter witnessed it, to make it official. "I'll be there in a bit, get the windows open" said Karl's Dad
Split tennis ball...we've covered that, says Karl.
Rockbusters answers coming up. "There ya go, someone's got it" says Karl


BS--"I can think of something" says Steve
==Track Listing==


Answers: (and responses by ricky)
====1. Mancunians Take More Sick Days ''(0:00:00)''====
1.BS--Blazing Squad "brilliant"
Show starts with Ricky introducing the ongoing saga of [[Karl vs. Steve]]. Ricky has some damning survey findings to share.
2.DB--Dan-yell Bed-in-field  "we're never, right, we're never lettin him do this again."
3. B--Be-on-Sea Beyonce. "you just signed your death warrant"
no more rockbusters karl.
ha!
Now more Karl vacation places. Greece, Turkey (midgets having a go at Suzanne), Scotland, the west country, Brighton-- "a lot of gay people"
"Next week on wish you were here, more places where there are a lot of gay people"
Karl then has a brain teaser for ricky and steve. The girl at the funeral story who fancies the good looking lad. Why did the girl kill her own sister?
It's a proper Psych test. Answer--She figures she would get another chance to meet the guy again at the funeral of her sister. Psychotics/killers get the right answer most times to this riddle.
"well, you wasted three minutes trying to balance a pear on me head!" but you're not happy with THAT test...says karl to ricky
oooh. chimpanzee that--Monkey NEWS: c'mon karl! this week we have chimps smart enough to join the Army. They can pass the obstacle course.
"As ever Karl, this is an arbitrary email. We're basing it on the ramblings of one of our listeners"


===External Links===
====2. Stick the Telly On ''(0:03:37)''====
Karl thinks there's no such thing as a sexy song and has another idea for how to create a mood when you're with a lady.  Illegal Briefs.  Ricky expounds on the poorly Mancs article.  Playing tonight in Islington is Restless Diesel.  Ricky and Steve intro all the good stuff to come.
 
====3. I Don't Like Being Here ''(0:07:34)''====
Steve was only sick once and Karl recalls how he handled it.  What does Karl think of London?  It makes him ill, he's not sleeping, he's run down.  He'd love if if he dropped dead tonight.  Ricky reenacts the time Karl was sick because of wet trousers.  Gary Kemp has aged better than Ricky.  Karl wonders if Steve has aged well.
 
====4. She Doesn't Smoke Cigarettes ''(0:12:40)''====
Radiohead - good, innit.  Steve saw an advert he's not sure is actually going to work on teenagers.  Billy Bragg, Mick Hucknell and Rock the Vote.  Steve was unnerved by Charley Says, and Karl thinks they just gave kids ideas.  When he was a kid he and some mates put a lad in a wardrobe and told his mum he was missing.  Once [[Karl's Mam|Karl's mam]] gave him a balloon to keep track of him on a beach, until all the other mothers got the same idea.  [[We've Arranged to Meet Back at You at Midnight|Teenager Steve at New Year's]] and the girls who wanted to meet back at him at midnight.  No party invite, but he did have a balloon.  Can that hoe D.A. see Tupac?
 
====5. Hello Bournemouth! ''(0:21:17)''====
People do not want Rockbusters.  Listener James guesses before the clues are given: No Van Ear, Kid Creosote and Hairy Seek'em.  Ricky suggests doing a road show but as he's not keen to leave W1, let's just do it outside the building.  [[Rockbusters]] prizes include The Best Air Guitar Album and an old Only Fools and Horses.  Karl gives up and won't bother with Rockbusters. 
 
====6. Mt. 'ave-a-Rest ''(0:25:40)''====
Listener Phil could do with the Rockbusters prizes for additional tat for his upcoming car boot sale.  [[Educating Ricky]] this week is about how people are leaving rubbish on Mt. Everest.  Karl discovers cryogenic freezing.  If Karl were frozen now and reanimated in 40 years, would he have to stay with [[Suzanne]], who'd be 70?  Walt Disney and Plug. 
 
====7. Pilkington Avenue ''(0:32:42:40)''====
Ricky and Steve are intolerant of Karl's whinging about his one job ("they have loads of jobs").  Karl's trying to get out of London, and Ricky recommends selling his flat and buying a Manchester street.  Ricky tells the story of King Solomon deciding which of two women is the mother of a baby.  It's not a very good solution.
 
====8. Wish You Were Here, with Karl Pilkington ''(0:36:48)''====
More chat about how many jobs Ricky and Steve do and how miserable Karl is.  Ricky tried to put a pear on Karl's head but didn't know it was a juicy pear.  Rockbusters clues.  Smiley Miley's Roadshow.  What does Karl think of the cities of the world?  Karl's not surprised no one sleeps in New York with all the noise.  An old woman in McDonalds in Paris wearing no knickers put him off.  Venice has bin bags everywhere and is London, flooded.
 
[[Image:ScottHansonsPrizes.jpg|right|300px|thumb|Shown here are the prizes won by Joe in Catford (our ScottHanson) on this show]]
 
====9. That's One Family Who Love Manchester ''(0:41:29)''====
All of Karl's family moved away from Manchester.  [[Karl's Brother|His brother]] joined the army, [[Karl's Sister|his sister]] lives in Ireland.  The world record for farting was 2:45 minutes, but [[Auntie Nora]] [[Auntie Nora Has Wind for Five Minutes|beat that]].  [[Karl's Dad|Karl's dad]] went round to make sure she was OK but asked her to open the windows first.  Nora has ice cream tubs in the fridge of old mashed-up food, and doesn't answer the phone in case it's a burglar.  Someone's answer to the Rockbusters clues is 1.I 2.Don't 3.Care.  Karl reads the proper answers and give a shout-out to the winner, Joe in Catford.
 
====10. Proof I'm Not a Psychopath ''(0:47:55)''====
Karl's been to Greece.  In Turkey there were little midgets in the kitchen hassling Suzanne.  In Edinburgh he saw a traffic warden putting a ticket on some bin bags.  Bath is old and you can just visit once.  Brighton has a lot of gay people.  Karl's got a psychological test to do on Steve. 
 
====11. Good at Weighing Up the Situation  ''(0:53:17)''====
Karl attempts [[Monkey News]] but is momentarily deterred by Ricky's moaning.  What are monkeys good at?  If they score high enough on an IQ test, they join the army. 
 
==Rockbusters==
All the police cars are on fire.  <span title="Blazing Squad" style="color: red" id=title>B.S.</span><br>
The director of ''28 Days Later'' is shouting about sleeping outside.  <span title="Daniel Bedingfield" style="color: red" id=title>D.B.</span><br>
He wants to be a sailor; why is that?  <span title="Beyonce" style="color: red" id=title>B.</span><br>
 
==Quotes==
'''Steve''': I don't think I've ever taken a day off sick, except when I had that terrible terrible terrible tonsilitis.<br>
'''Karl''': Is that when you went home, stayed with your mam and dad?<br>
<br>
'''Steve''': Oh, I might shoot off.<br>
'''Ricky''': I just have!<br>
<br>
'''Ricky''': Rubbish.  Once again, lazy, rubbish, uncorroborated, nonsense, the stupid test that you got wrong,<br>
'''Steve''': Rick, that sounds like Monkey News to me!<br>
 
==Trivia==
* The article read by Ricky records survey results found by Manchester-based employment firm, that employees in Manchester take 11 sick days per year, to Edinburgh and Dublin with an average of 9 and London 7. 
* This week's Rockbuster winner was Pilkipedia's own [http://www.pilkipedia.co.uk/forum/memberlist.php?mode=viewprofile&u=1662 ScottHanson]. 
 
==Playlist==
The Darkness - ''Growing on Me''<br>
Simon and Garfunkel - ''April Come She Will'' <br>
Jane's Addiction - ''Just Because''<br>
Evan Dando - ''All My Life'' <br>
Radiohead - ''Go to Sleep''<br>
Tupac Shakur - ''Picture Me Rollin'''<br>
Blur - ''Crazy Beat''<br>
Cat Stevens - ''The Wind''<br>
50 Cent - ''In da Club''<br>
Aerosmith - ''Jaded''<br>
Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - ''Stop''<br>
World Party - ''Is It Like Today?''<br>
Beyonce - ''Crazy in Love''<br>
Joe Jackson - ''Is She Really Going Out with Him?''<br>
 
==External Links==
*[http://www.troutco.com/rd/index.html Restless Diesel] Official Website
*[http://youtube.com/watch?v=MVPcoZ3Mxhs Classic ''Charley Says'' PSA] where Dominic gets an apple as a reward
*{{Xfm|id=33893}}
*{{Xfm|id=33893}}
[[Category:Episode Pages|2.45]]


{{Xfm Box}}
{{Xfm Box}}

Latest revision as of 09:52, 31 July 2020

Xfm Series 2
August 2002 - August 2003
List of episodes

Episodes:

  1. 24 August 2002 (Transcript)
  2. 31 August 2002 (Transcript)
  3. 07 September 2002 (Transcript)
  4. 14 September 2002 (Transcript) ('Best of')
  5. 21 September 2002 (Transcript)
  6. 28 September 2002 (Transcript)
  7. 05 October 2002 (Transcript)
  8. 12 October 2002 (Transcript)
  9. 19 October 2002 (Transcript)
  10. 26 October 2002 (Transcript)
  11. 02 November 2002 (Transcript)
  12. 09 November 2002 (Transcript)
  13. 16 November 2002 (Transcript)
  14. 23 November 2002 (Transcript)
  15. 30 November 2002 (Transcript)
  16. 07 December 2002 (Transcript)
  17. 14 December 2002 (Transcript)
  18. 21 December 2002 (Transcript)
  19. 28 December 2002 (Transcript) ('Best of')
  20. 04 January 2003 (Transcript)
  21. 11 January 2003 (Transcript)
  22. 18 January 2003 (Transcript)
  23. 25 January 2003 (Transcript)
  24. 01 February 2003 (Transcript)
  25. 08 February 2003 (Transcript)
  26. 15 February 2003 (Transcript)
  27. 22 February 2003 (Transcript) ('Best of')
  28. 01 March 2003 (Transcript) ('Best of')
  29. 08 March 2003 (Transcript)
  30. 15 March 2003 (Transcript)
  31. 22 March 2003 (Transcript)
  32. 29 March 2003 (Transcript)
  33. 05 April 2003 (Transcript)
  34. 12 April 2003 (Transcript)
  35. 19 April 2003 (Transcript)
  36. 26 April 2003 (Transcript)
  37. 03 May 2003 (Transcript)
  38. 10 May 2003 (Transcript)
  39. 17 May 2003 (Transcript)
  40. 31 May 2003 (Transcript)
  41. 07 June 2003 (Transcript)
  42. 14 June 2003 (Transcript)
  43. 21 June 2003 (Transcript)
  44. 28 June 2003
  45. 05 July 2003
  46. 12 July 2003
  47. 19 July 2003
  48. 26 July 2003
  49. 02 August 2003
  50. 09 August 2003
  51. 16 August 2003

Track Listing

1. Mancunians Take More Sick Days (0:00:00)

Show starts with Ricky introducing the ongoing saga of Karl vs. Steve. Ricky has some damning survey findings to share.

2. Stick the Telly On (0:03:37)

Karl thinks there's no such thing as a sexy song and has another idea for how to create a mood when you're with a lady. Illegal Briefs. Ricky expounds on the poorly Mancs article. Playing tonight in Islington is Restless Diesel. Ricky and Steve intro all the good stuff to come.

3. I Don't Like Being Here (0:07:34)

Steve was only sick once and Karl recalls how he handled it. What does Karl think of London? It makes him ill, he's not sleeping, he's run down. He'd love if if he dropped dead tonight. Ricky reenacts the time Karl was sick because of wet trousers. Gary Kemp has aged better than Ricky. Karl wonders if Steve has aged well.

4. She Doesn't Smoke Cigarettes (0:12:40)

Radiohead - good, innit. Steve saw an advert he's not sure is actually going to work on teenagers. Billy Bragg, Mick Hucknell and Rock the Vote. Steve was unnerved by Charley Says, and Karl thinks they just gave kids ideas. When he was a kid he and some mates put a lad in a wardrobe and told his mum he was missing. Once Karl's mam gave him a balloon to keep track of him on a beach, until all the other mothers got the same idea. Teenager Steve at New Year's and the girls who wanted to meet back at him at midnight. No party invite, but he did have a balloon. Can that hoe D.A. see Tupac?

5. Hello Bournemouth! (0:21:17)

People do not want Rockbusters. Listener James guesses before the clues are given: No Van Ear, Kid Creosote and Hairy Seek'em. Ricky suggests doing a road show but as he's not keen to leave W1, let's just do it outside the building. Rockbusters prizes include The Best Air Guitar Album and an old Only Fools and Horses. Karl gives up and won't bother with Rockbusters.

6. Mt. 'ave-a-Rest (0:25:40)

Listener Phil could do with the Rockbusters prizes for additional tat for his upcoming car boot sale. Educating Ricky this week is about how people are leaving rubbish on Mt. Everest. Karl discovers cryogenic freezing. If Karl were frozen now and reanimated in 40 years, would he have to stay with Suzanne, who'd be 70? Walt Disney and Plug.

7. Pilkington Avenue (0:32:42:40)

Ricky and Steve are intolerant of Karl's whinging about his one job ("they have loads of jobs"). Karl's trying to get out of London, and Ricky recommends selling his flat and buying a Manchester street. Ricky tells the story of King Solomon deciding which of two women is the mother of a baby. It's not a very good solution.

8. Wish You Were Here, with Karl Pilkington (0:36:48)

More chat about how many jobs Ricky and Steve do and how miserable Karl is. Ricky tried to put a pear on Karl's head but didn't know it was a juicy pear. Rockbusters clues. Smiley Miley's Roadshow. What does Karl think of the cities of the world? Karl's not surprised no one sleeps in New York with all the noise. An old woman in McDonalds in Paris wearing no knickers put him off. Venice has bin bags everywhere and is London, flooded.

Shown here are the prizes won by Joe in Catford (our ScottHanson) on this show

9. That's One Family Who Love Manchester (0:41:29)

All of Karl's family moved away from Manchester. His brother joined the army, his sister lives in Ireland. The world record for farting was 2:45 minutes, but Auntie Nora beat that. Karl's dad went round to make sure she was OK but asked her to open the windows first. Nora has ice cream tubs in the fridge of old mashed-up food, and doesn't answer the phone in case it's a burglar. Someone's answer to the Rockbusters clues is 1.I 2.Don't 3.Care. Karl reads the proper answers and give a shout-out to the winner, Joe in Catford.

10. Proof I'm Not a Psychopath (0:47:55)

Karl's been to Greece. In Turkey there were little midgets in the kitchen hassling Suzanne. In Edinburgh he saw a traffic warden putting a ticket on some bin bags. Bath is old and you can just visit once. Brighton has a lot of gay people. Karl's got a psychological test to do on Steve.

11. Good at Weighing Up the Situation (0:53:17)

Karl attempts Monkey News but is momentarily deterred by Ricky's moaning. What are monkeys good at? If they score high enough on an IQ test, they join the army.

Rockbusters

All the police cars are on fire. B.S.
The director of 28 Days Later is shouting about sleeping outside. D.B.
He wants to be a sailor; why is that? B.

Quotes

Steve: I don't think I've ever taken a day off sick, except when I had that terrible terrible terrible tonsilitis.
Karl: Is that when you went home, stayed with your mam and dad?

Steve: Oh, I might shoot off.
Ricky: I just have!

Ricky: Rubbish. Once again, lazy, rubbish, uncorroborated, nonsense, the stupid test that you got wrong,
Steve: Rick, that sounds like Monkey News to me!

Trivia

  • The article read by Ricky records survey results found by Manchester-based employment firm, that employees in Manchester take 11 sick days per year, to Edinburgh and Dublin with an average of 9 and London 7.
  • This week's Rockbuster winner was Pilkipedia's own ScottHanson.

Playlist

The Darkness - Growing on Me
Simon and Garfunkel - April Come She Will
Jane's Addiction - Just Because
Evan Dando - All My Life
Radiohead - Go to Sleep
Tupac Shakur - Picture Me Rollin'
Blur - Crazy Beat
Cat Stevens - The Wind
50 Cent - In da Club
Aerosmith - Jaded
Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - Stop
World Party - Is It Like Today?
Beyonce - Crazy in Love
Joe Jackson - Is She Really Going Out with Him?

External Links


Series 0   |   Series 1   |   Series 2   |   Series 3   |   Series 4
Presenters Ricky Gervais | Stephen Merchant | Karl Pilkington
Others Claire Sturgess | Ian Camfield | Simon Pegg | Nick Frost
Features Monkey News | Rockbusters | Song For The Ladies | Song For The Lovers
Hip-Hop Hooray | Cheap as Chimps | White Van Karl | Songs of Phrase
Cheeky Freak of the Week | Do We Need 'Em? | More...
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