07 June 2003: Difference between revisions

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Short Ricky birthday recap--Jane got him a "real bow and arrow." Karl got a real gun for a present as a kid "Just shootin' cans an' stuff." Ricky intros Karl to Ross Kemp at dinner in the week. Jonathan Ross shaved his arse once, when he was bored in a hotel room. Karl again recaps finding 42 pages of "Macs" in the Edinburgh phone book. Karl could have gotten £1000 for letting his arse get shaven. Gotta make sure the testicles are out of the way, says Karl. Jonathan Ross also endorses "The Elephant Man" as one of the best films ever. The listeners save Monkey News with email petitions. Rockbusters on super thin ice again but not dead yet. Ricky and Steve hate all the excessive noise in Pubs. More mini-cab stories, including Steve repeating the time the fake cabbie didn't know the way to either Camden OR Swiss Cottage. Karl propositioned about Meditation and Evian--on meditation/breathing, "Well, I'm 30, I've done all right" on Evian--"have you ever tried this? It's WATER!" Karl does Rockbusters. Zoo talk...pity the animals no one goes to see. Ricky would love an owl on his desk. Karl talks again about his magpie 'Maggie.' Steve calls Ricky's squeezing of karl's head a "sexual peccadillo." Treating the homeless--Karl treats with a diet coke. Karl slags off Bob Geldoff & foreign aid and doesnt even realize it. Chat about charity, cancer, being homeless. Steve intros the show, "I survived a 200-pound tumor." They can't believe a tumor could be that big. 200 pound TUNA Ricky says. Karl cannot bear to go the Doctor and disrobe, and he doesn't like the feel of his balls. Cheeky freak of the week (Steve does the jingle with Ricky) is a girl with 4 eyes, 2 noses, 2 mouths..."mad, innit." "Can she talk with her mouth full?" A bonus CFOTW--smallest man. In a picture next to a fruit bowl. Rockbusters answers coming up. TB-Tony Bennett (Toe-Knee Bin-It) (Ricky--that's a yellow card); TD-The Dark-Ness (Ricky--goal, goal); FNM-Faith No More (Ricky--no! doesn't count! ...Ok... I'll give it to him...there's no Jamaican fellas seeing Icebergs...). Dave Suckling takes the prize there. Monkey News (and Ricky has the little bongos that Karl gave him for his jingle. brilliant.)...how to hand down a Monkey Spa to the kids, which are not blood relatives of the fella monkey, who's gettin on in years. And the fella monkey's name is on the business. RICKY--"please check the facts otherwise you could ...look like ...a twat ...spouting shit... on the radio!" Ricky--"You're educationally subnormal"
{{Template:Infobox_Xfm_Series_2}}
'''NB''': ''The version of this episode which is 57:55 in length has a gap from 43:10 to 43:29 of silence and a couple misplaced audio bits.'' 
 
==Track Listing==
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!{{sectionhead|#EEEEEE|#AAAAAA|left|''For a full transcript of this episode see [[07 June 2003/Transcript]].''}}
|- 
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====1. [[07 June 2003/Transcript#Everyone's Got An Idea In Their Head|Everyone's Got An Idea In Their Head]] ''(0:00:00)''====
Steve won't hear a bad word said about The Boss. Danni Minogue's medley.  Karl has a feature idea where the boys have to describe what each other looks like. A bit of [[Karl vs. Steve]] and Ricky is a slightly deflated Johnny Vegas. 
 
====2. [[07 June 2003/Transcript#Apparently Bruce Is An Armpit Freak|Apparently Bruce Is An Armpit Freak]]  ''(0:05:16)''====
Karl's done some research on hankies signifying "stuff that gays are into" based on color and placement. Ricky's inquisitive about how Karl maintained arousal in Tenerife whilst being spoken to by a Spanish fireman. Steve questions which appendage Karl uses to press the button for the upcoming song.
 
====3. [[07 June 2003/Transcript#I'm Going To Do Everything In My Power To Destroy You|I'm Going To Do Everything In My Power To Destroy You]] ''(0:11:13)''====
Steve recounts how [[Rufus]] overheard a conversation between two gay men.  Karl knows a lot of gay people and they change partners often. [[Gays Go Out Too Late]]. A listener clarifies that Bruce Springsteen had a red baseball cap in his pocket, not a hanky. Would Karl cuddle Bruce?  Karl is jealous about Ricky's other friend with a bald head. Not much going on in the monkey world, perhaps because they've found out they're getting coverage. 
 
====4. [[07 June 2003/Transcript#Sleight of Hand Linguistically|Sleight of Hand Linguistically]]  ''(0:16:08)''====
An American listener named Karen. Karl wonders about a Ronan Keating song and thinks if it were his last day, he wouldn't be up for doing much. Ricky would want to never know when he is going to die.  Karl is confused.  Karl's balls feel like wet chamois leather.  Karl never goes to the doctor.  The kid at Ricky's school who wants "to die of old age in his mother's arms".  If Steve had one day to live, he'd play a real-life version of Grand Theft Auto. Ricky suggests Karl could watch the show [[24]].  Karl and [[Suzanne]] are taking his parents away to Cornwall next week. [[Karl's Dad]] steals from phone boxes and shoe stores.
 
====5. [[07 June 2003/Transcript#Ooooooooh, Rockbusters!|Ooooooooh, Rockbusters!]]  ''(0:23:35)''====
Is there a jingle for [[Rockbusters]]?  [[Competition_Prizes|Quality prizes]] and Karl reads the clues. 
 
====6. [[07 June 2003/Transcript#Xfm: Where Paths Cross|Xfm: Where Paths Cross]] ''(0:27:28)''==== 
Ricky and Steve are friends by now. Someone's made a chicken with teeth. Karl doesn't think cloning sheep is very clever. You can have your testicles made bigger. 
 
====7. [[07 June 2003/Transcript#I Hear They're Gonna Have a Bath|I Hear They're Gonna Have a Bath]] ''(0:34:09)''====
Someone's emailed in more info on the chicken with teeth. [[Cheeky Freak of the Week]] is/are Chang and Eng from 1829. Steve's thoughts on supermarket conveyor belt dividers and nervous bus exiters.
 
====8. [[07 June 2003/Transcript#Get It Done Right the First Time|Get It Done Right the First Time]] ''(0:44:11)''====
Karl's annoyed by the concept of having sex all night. Is that why he's called Sting?  Did the fireman have a mustache?
 
====9. [[07 June 2003/Transcript#The Crappest Quiz on Radio|The Crappest Quiz on Radio]] ''(0:46:05)''====
Rockbusters answers, and Ricky makes Karl repeat the first two a few times.  Steve wanted to give the prize to Daniel Jowett, but he got it wrong.
 
====10. [[07 June 2003/Transcript#That Mammal That's Got the Pointiest Eyes|That Mammal That's Got the Pointiest Eyes]] ''(0:49:03)'' ====
Monkey News ''Extra'': Karl's got some info about a monkey in Asia with the biggest "goggle-eyes type thing", protruding 1.6 centimeters from the head, which [[Karl vs. Steve|reminds him of Steve]]. Ricky and [[Ash Atalla]] and Steve and [[Lucy Davis]] playing pool. Proper Monkey News is about another monkey that's got married.
 
====11. [[07 June 2003/Transcript#We Avoided Saying Erection for Two Hours|We Avoided Saying Erection for Two Hours]] ''(0:55:40)''====
What does Karl think they've added to the world in today's show?  Karl recaps and Ricky and Steve take the mick about the Tenerife fireman again.
 
==Rockbusters==
That fella likes sucking on iron. <span title="Metallica" style="color: red" id=title>M.</span><br>
The Jamaican fella spots a boat. <span title="Debarge" style="color: red" id=title>D.</span><br>
Do you want a game of Tug-o-War?  It's up to you, you own it.  <span title="Europe" style="color: red" id=title>E.</span><br>
 
==Quotes==
'''Ricky''': Who's your favourite, out of Chang and Eng? <br>
'''Karl''': They both look the same, to be honest.<br>
<br>
'''Karl''': What's 1.6?<br>
'''Steve''': Drop your trousers.<br>
 
==Playlist==
Bruce Springsteen - ''Thunder Road'' <br>
The Verve - ''Lucky Man'' <br>
The Flaming Lips - ''The Fight Test'' <br>
Blur - ''Out of Time'' <br>
Elton John - ''Saturday Night's Alright (for Fighting)'' <br>
[[The White Stripes]] - ''I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself''<br>
Red Hot Chili Peppers - ''Universally Speaking'' <br>
Teenage Fan Club - ''Radio'' <br>
REM - ''Nightswimming'' <br>
Radiohead - ''There There'' <br>
Mott the Hoople - ''Roll Away the Stone'' <br>
Oasis - ''Little by Little'' <br>
Aimee Mann - ''Driving With One Hand On the Wheel'' <br>
 
==External Links==
* [http://alt.xmission.com/~trevin/hanky.html Gay Hanky Code site]
* [http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?id=mutant-chicken-grows-alli Article on a chicken with teeth]
* [http://youtube.com/watch?v=nHX3ETW-k9Q YouTube clip - Monkey News; Pointy Eyes]
 
{{Xfm Box}}
[[Category:Episode Pages|2.41]]

Latest revision as of 11:19, 2 August 2020

Xfm Series 2
August 2002 - August 2003
List of episodes

Episodes:

  1. 24 August 2002 (Transcript)
  2. 31 August 2002 (Transcript)
  3. 07 September 2002 (Transcript)
  4. 14 September 2002 (Transcript) ('Best of')
  5. 21 September 2002 (Transcript)
  6. 28 September 2002 (Transcript)
  7. 05 October 2002 (Transcript)
  8. 12 October 2002 (Transcript)
  9. 19 October 2002 (Transcript)
  10. 26 October 2002 (Transcript)
  11. 02 November 2002 (Transcript)
  12. 09 November 2002 (Transcript)
  13. 16 November 2002 (Transcript)
  14. 23 November 2002 (Transcript)
  15. 30 November 2002 (Transcript)
  16. 07 December 2002 (Transcript)
  17. 14 December 2002 (Transcript)
  18. 21 December 2002 (Transcript)
  19. 28 December 2002 (Transcript) ('Best of')
  20. 04 January 2003 (Transcript)
  21. 11 January 2003 (Transcript)
  22. 18 January 2003 (Transcript)
  23. 25 January 2003 (Transcript)
  24. 01 February 2003 (Transcript)
  25. 08 February 2003 (Transcript)
  26. 15 February 2003 (Transcript)
  27. 22 February 2003 (Transcript) ('Best of')
  28. 01 March 2003 (Transcript) ('Best of')
  29. 08 March 2003 (Transcript)
  30. 15 March 2003 (Transcript)
  31. 22 March 2003 (Transcript)
  32. 29 March 2003 (Transcript)
  33. 05 April 2003 (Transcript)
  34. 12 April 2003 (Transcript)
  35. 19 April 2003 (Transcript)
  36. 26 April 2003 (Transcript)
  37. 03 May 2003 (Transcript)
  38. 10 May 2003 (Transcript)
  39. 17 May 2003 (Transcript)
  40. 31 May 2003 (Transcript)
  41. 07 June 2003 (Transcript)
  42. 14 June 2003 (Transcript)
  43. 21 June 2003 (Transcript)
  44. 28 June 2003
  45. 05 July 2003
  46. 12 July 2003
  47. 19 July 2003
  48. 26 July 2003
  49. 02 August 2003
  50. 09 August 2003
  51. 16 August 2003

NB: The version of this episode which is 57:55 in length has a gap from 43:10 to 43:29 of silence and a couple misplaced audio bits.

Track Listing

For a full transcript of this episode see 07 June 2003/Transcript.

1. Everyone's Got An Idea In Their Head (0:00:00)

Steve won't hear a bad word said about The Boss. Danni Minogue's medley. Karl has a feature idea where the boys have to describe what each other looks like. A bit of Karl vs. Steve and Ricky is a slightly deflated Johnny Vegas.

2. Apparently Bruce Is An Armpit Freak (0:05:16)

Karl's done some research on hankies signifying "stuff that gays are into" based on color and placement. Ricky's inquisitive about how Karl maintained arousal in Tenerife whilst being spoken to by a Spanish fireman. Steve questions which appendage Karl uses to press the button for the upcoming song.

3. I'm Going To Do Everything In My Power To Destroy You (0:11:13)

Steve recounts how Rufus overheard a conversation between two gay men. Karl knows a lot of gay people and they change partners often. Gays Go Out Too Late. A listener clarifies that Bruce Springsteen had a red baseball cap in his pocket, not a hanky. Would Karl cuddle Bruce? Karl is jealous about Ricky's other friend with a bald head. Not much going on in the monkey world, perhaps because they've found out they're getting coverage.

4. Sleight of Hand Linguistically (0:16:08)

An American listener named Karen. Karl wonders about a Ronan Keating song and thinks if it were his last day, he wouldn't be up for doing much. Ricky would want to never know when he is going to die. Karl is confused. Karl's balls feel like wet chamois leather. Karl never goes to the doctor. The kid at Ricky's school who wants "to die of old age in his mother's arms". If Steve had one day to live, he'd play a real-life version of Grand Theft Auto. Ricky suggests Karl could watch the show 24. Karl and Suzanne are taking his parents away to Cornwall next week. Karl's Dad steals from phone boxes and shoe stores.

5. Ooooooooh, Rockbusters! (0:23:35)

Is there a jingle for Rockbusters? Quality prizes and Karl reads the clues.

6. Xfm: Where Paths Cross (0:27:28)

Ricky and Steve are friends by now. Someone's made a chicken with teeth. Karl doesn't think cloning sheep is very clever. You can have your testicles made bigger.

7. I Hear They're Gonna Have a Bath (0:34:09)

Someone's emailed in more info on the chicken with teeth. Cheeky Freak of the Week is/are Chang and Eng from 1829. Steve's thoughts on supermarket conveyor belt dividers and nervous bus exiters.

8. Get It Done Right the First Time (0:44:11)

Karl's annoyed by the concept of having sex all night. Is that why he's called Sting? Did the fireman have a mustache?

9. The Crappest Quiz on Radio (0:46:05)

Rockbusters answers, and Ricky makes Karl repeat the first two a few times. Steve wanted to give the prize to Daniel Jowett, but he got it wrong.

10. That Mammal That's Got the Pointiest Eyes (0:49:03)

Monkey News Extra: Karl's got some info about a monkey in Asia with the biggest "goggle-eyes type thing", protruding 1.6 centimeters from the head, which reminds him of Steve. Ricky and Ash Atalla and Steve and Lucy Davis playing pool. Proper Monkey News is about another monkey that's got married.

11. We Avoided Saying Erection for Two Hours (0:55:40)

What does Karl think they've added to the world in today's show? Karl recaps and Ricky and Steve take the mick about the Tenerife fireman again.

Rockbusters

That fella likes sucking on iron. M.
The Jamaican fella spots a boat. D.
Do you want a game of Tug-o-War? It's up to you, you own it. E.

Quotes

Ricky: Who's your favourite, out of Chang and Eng?
Karl: They both look the same, to be honest.

Karl: What's 1.6?
Steve: Drop your trousers.

Playlist

Bruce Springsteen - Thunder Road
The Verve - Lucky Man
The Flaming Lips - The Fight Test
Blur - Out of Time
Elton John - Saturday Night's Alright (for Fighting)
The White Stripes - I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself
Red Hot Chili Peppers - Universally Speaking
Teenage Fan Club - Radio
REM - Nightswimming
Radiohead - There There
Mott the Hoople - Roll Away the Stone
Oasis - Little by Little
Aimee Mann - Driving With One Hand On the Wheel

External Links

Series 0   |   Series 1   |   Series 2   |   Series 3   |   Series 4
Presenters Ricky Gervais | Stephen Merchant | Karl Pilkington
Others Claire Sturgess | Ian Camfield | Simon Pegg | Nick Frost
Features Monkey News | Rockbusters | Song For The Ladies | Song For The Lovers
Hip-Hop Hooray | Cheap as Chimps | White Van Karl | Songs of Phrase
Cheeky Freak of the Week | Do We Need 'Em? | More...
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