07 June 2003: Difference between revisions

Latest revision as of 11:19, 2 August 2020

Xfm Series 2
August 2002 - August 2003
List of episodes

Episodes:

24 August 2002 (Transcript)
31 August 2002 (Transcript)
07 September 2002 (Transcript)
14 September 2002 (Transcript) ('Best of')
21 September 2002 (Transcript)
28 September 2002 (Transcript)
05 October 2002 (Transcript)
12 October 2002 (Transcript)
19 October 2002 (Transcript)
26 October 2002 (Transcript)
02 November 2002 (Transcript)
09 November 2002 (Transcript)
16 November 2002 (Transcript)
23 November 2002 (Transcript)
30 November 2002 (Transcript)
07 December 2002 (Transcript)
14 December 2002 (Transcript)
21 December 2002 (Transcript)
28 December 2002 (Transcript) ('Best of')
04 January 2003 (Transcript)
11 January 2003 (Transcript)
18 January 2003 (Transcript)
25 January 2003 (Transcript)
01 February 2003 (Transcript)
08 February 2003 (Transcript)
15 February 2003 (Transcript)
22 February 2003 (Transcript) ('Best of')
01 March 2003 (Transcript) ('Best of')
08 March 2003 (Transcript)
15 March 2003 (Transcript)
22 March 2003 (Transcript)
29 March 2003 (Transcript)
05 April 2003 (Transcript)
12 April 2003 (Transcript)
19 April 2003 (Transcript)
26 April 2003 (Transcript)
03 May 2003 (Transcript)
10 May 2003 (Transcript)
17 May 2003 (Transcript)
31 May 2003 (Transcript)
07 June 2003 (Transcript)
14 June 2003 (Transcript)
21 June 2003 (Transcript)
28 June 2003
05 July 2003
12 July 2003
19 July 2003
26 July 2003
02 August 2003
09 August 2003
16 August 2003

NB: The version of this episode which is 57:55 in length has a gap from 43:10 to 43:29 of silence and a couple misplaced audio bits.

Track Listing

For a full transcript of this episode see 07 June 2003/Transcript.

1. Everyone's Got An Idea In Their Head (0:00:00)

Steve won't hear a bad word said about The Boss. Danni Minogue's medley. Karl has a feature idea where the boys have to describe what each other looks like. A bit of Karl vs. Steve and Ricky is a slightly deflated Johnny Vegas.

2. Apparently Bruce Is An Armpit Freak (0:05:16)

Karl's done some research on hankies signifying "stuff that gays are into" based on color and placement. Ricky's inquisitive about how Karl maintained arousal in Tenerife whilst being spoken to by a Spanish fireman. Steve questions which appendage Karl uses to press the button for the upcoming song.

3. I'm Going To Do Everything In My Power To Destroy You (0:11:13)

Steve recounts how Rufus overheard a conversation between two gay men. Karl knows a lot of gay people and they change partners often. Gays Go Out Too Late. A listener clarifies that Bruce Springsteen had a red baseball cap in his pocket, not a hanky. Would Karl cuddle Bruce? Karl is jealous about Ricky's other friend with a bald head. Not much going on in the monkey world, perhaps because they've found out they're getting coverage.

4. Sleight of Hand Linguistically (0:16:08)

An American listener named Karen. Karl wonders about a Ronan Keating song and thinks if it were his last day, he wouldn't be up for doing much. Ricky would want to never know when he is going to die. Karl is confused. Karl's balls feel like wet chamois leather. Karl never goes to the doctor. The kid at Ricky's school who wants "to die of old age in his mother's arms". If Steve had one day to live, he'd play a real-life version of Grand Theft Auto. Ricky suggests Karl could watch the show 24. Karl and Suzanne are taking his parents away to Cornwall next week. Karl's Dad steals from phone boxes and shoe stores.

5. Ooooooooh, Rockbusters! (0:23:35)

Is there a jingle for Rockbusters? Quality prizes and Karl reads the clues.

6. Xfm: Where Paths Cross (0:27:28)

Ricky and Steve are friends by now. Someone's made a chicken with teeth. Karl doesn't think cloning sheep is very clever. You can have your testicles made bigger.

7. I Hear They're Gonna Have a Bath (0:34:09)

Someone's emailed in more info on the chicken with teeth. Cheeky Freak of the Week is/are Chang and Eng from 1829. Steve's thoughts on supermarket conveyor belt dividers and nervous bus exiters.

8. Get It Done Right the First Time (0:44:11)

Karl's annoyed by the concept of having sex all night. Is that why he's called Sting? Did the fireman have a mustache?

9. The Crappest Quiz on Radio (0:46:05)

Rockbusters answers, and Ricky makes Karl repeat the first two a few times. Steve wanted to give the prize to Daniel Jowett, but he got it wrong.

10. That Mammal That's Got the Pointiest Eyes (0:49:03)

Monkey News Extra: Karl's got some info about a monkey in Asia with the biggest "goggle-eyes type thing", protruding 1.6 centimeters from the head, which reminds him of Steve. Ricky and Ash Atalla and Steve and Lucy Davis playing pool. Proper Monkey News is about another monkey that's got married.

11. We Avoided Saying Erection for Two Hours (0:55:40)

What does Karl think they've added to the world in today's show? Karl recaps and Ricky and Steve take the mick about the Tenerife fireman again.

Rockbusters

That fella likes sucking on iron. M.
The Jamaican fella spots a boat. D.
Do you want a game of Tug-o-War? It's up to you, you own it. E.

Quotes

Ricky: Who's your favourite, out of Chang and Eng?
Karl: They both look the same, to be honest.

Karl: What's 1.6?
Steve: Drop your trousers.

Playlist

Bruce Springsteen - Thunder Road
The Verve - Lucky Man
The Flaming Lips - The Fight Test
Blur - Out of Time
Elton John - Saturday Night's Alright (for Fighting)
The White Stripes - I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself
Red Hot Chili Peppers - Universally Speaking
Teenage Fan Club - Radio
REM - Nightswimming
Radiohead - There There
Mott the Hoople - Roll Away the Stone
Oasis - Little by Little
Aimee Mann - Driving With One Hand On the Wheel

External Links


Series 0 \| Series 1 \| Series 2 \| Series 3 \| Series 4
Presenters	Ricky Gervais \| Stephen Merchant \| Karl Pilkington
Others	Claire Sturgess \| Ian Camfield \| Simon Pegg \| Nick Frost
Features	Monkey News \| Rockbusters \| Song For The Ladies \| Song For The Lovers Hip-Hop Hooray \| Cheap as Chimps \| White Van Karl \| Songs of Phrase Cheeky Freak of the Week \| Do We Need 'Em? \| More...

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
 {{Template:Infobox_Xfm_Series_2}}
-----
+'''NB''': ''The version of this episode which is 57:55 in length has a gap from 43:10 to 43:29 of silence and a couple misplaced audio bits.''
 ==Track Listing==
-===Coming up, a link about describing your looks===
+{|width=65% style="border-spacing:8px;margin:0px -8px"
-I won't have a bad word said against the boss, says Steve, as they come out of the record "Thunder Road." Karl--"how would you describe yourself?" turns into karl having a go at Steve again. "Tall, big eyes."
+!{{sectionhead|#EEEEEE|#AAAAAA|left|''For a full transcript of this episode see [[07 June 2003/Transcript]].''}}
-Link about gay handkerchiefs. Karl researched it.
+|-
-===Gay hankies===
+|
-Only Bruce had a baseball cap in his back pocket, not a hanky. But karl talks about armpit fetishes (red hanky in RH pocket, so apparently Bruce is an armpit freak), blue and white one---sailors, etc. Every colored hanky represents something.
+|}
-===The Spanish Fireman and a State of Arousal===
-Karl then goes into a recount of a holiday long ago in Tenerife. He's gettin it on with Suzanne, the fireman comes around saying everyone has to vacate due to a fire, and karl wont go out, due to his 'state of arousal.' He wanted to make sure it was a proper fire before leaving the room--he'd rather burn than be embarrassed. Surely the Spanish Fireman kept him aroused yeah?
+====1. [[07 June 2003/Transcript#Everyone's Got An Idea In Their Head|Everyone's Got An Idea In Their Head]] ''(0:00:00)''====
-Discussion of gay lifestyle..."they go out late don't they...we've covered that." --says karl.
+Steve won't hear a bad word said about The Boss.  Danni Minogue's medley.  Karl has a feature idea where the boys have to describe what each other looks like.  A bit of [[Karl vs. Steve]] and Ricky is a slightly deflated Johnny Vegas.
-But--if Bruce Springsteen asked Karl for "a little cuddle" would he do it?
-Ricky talks about squeezing Karl's head.
+====2. [[07 June 2003/Transcript#Apparently Bruce Is An Armpit Freak|Apparently Bruce Is An Armpit Freak]]  ''(0:05:16)''====
-Has Karl got Monkey News and Rockbusters this week?
+Karl's done some research on hankies signifying "stuff that gays are into" based on color and placement.  Ricky's inquisitive about how Karl maintained arousal in Tenerife whilst being spoken to by a Spanish fireman.  Steve questions which appendage Karl uses to press the button for the upcoming song.
-===Sleight of hand linguistically===
-Discussion about dying...if you knew you were gonna die in your sleep but not the day, it wouldnt matter, wouldnt it?
+====3. [[07 June 2003/Transcript#I'm Going To Do Everything In My Power To Destroy You|I'm Going To Do Everything In My Power To Destroy You]] ''(0:11:13)''====
-brilliant. I've lost you Karl haven't I?
+Steve recounts how [[Rufus]] overheard a conversation between two gay men.   Karl knows a lot of gay people and they change partners often.  [[Gays Go Out Too Late]].  A listener clarifies that Bruce Springsteen had a red baseball cap in his pocket, not a hanky.  Would Karl cuddle Bruce?  Karl is jealous about Ricky's other friend with a bald head.  Not much going on in the monkey world, perhaps because they've found out they're getting coverage.
-"I think you lost him on 'sleight of hand linguistically' " says Steve.
-===What Feels like Chamois Leather?===
+====4. [[07 June 2003/Transcript#Sleight of Hand Linguistically|Sleight of Hand Linguistically]]  ''(0:16:08)''====
-Karl's balls feel like wet chamois leather. not wet or shaved, just smooth. he doesn't like it.
+An American listener named Karen.  Karl wonders about a Ronan Keating song and thinks if it were his last day, he wouldn't be up for doing much.  Ricky would want to never know when he is going to die.  Karl is confused.  Karl's balls feel like wet chamois leather.  Karl never goes to the doctor.  The kid at Ricky's school who wants "to die of old age in his mother's arms".  If Steve had one day to live, he'd play a real-life version of Grand Theft Auto. Ricky suggests Karl could watch the show [[24]].  Karl and [[Suzanne]] are taking his parents away to Cornwall next week.  [[Karl's Dad]] steals from phone boxes and shoe stores.
-How would you want to die?
-"I want to die of old age in my mother's arms" said an 11-year old mate of Ricky's. So of course they took the piss out of him for that.
+====5. [[07 June 2003/Transcript#Ooooooooh, Rockbusters!|Ooooooooh, Rockbusters!]]  ''(0:23:35)''====
-Steve would re-enact Grand Theft Auto and run people over if he knew he was gonna die within 24 hrs. Ricky suggests Karl could watch the show 24.
+Is there a jingle for [[Rockbusters]]?  [[Competition_Prizes|Quality prizes]] and Karl reads the clues.
-===Monkey Sanctuary - mini Monkey News===
-Karl then teases the holiday at the monkey sanctuary in Cornwall for holiday.
+====6. [[07 June 2003/Transcript#Xfm: Where Paths Cross|Xfm: Where Paths Cross]] ''(0:27:28)''====
-Karl's dad used to nick shoes in Manchester, not just the goods out of the phone box in Wales.
+Ricky and Steve are friends by now.  Someone's made a chicken with teeth.  Karl doesn't think cloning sheep is very clever. You can have your testicles made bigger.
-===Rockbusters===
-M---that fella likes sucking on Iron (Metallica)
+====7. [[07 June 2003/Transcript#I Hear They're Gonna Have a Bath|I Hear They're Gonna Have a Bath]] ''(0:34:09)''====
-D---the jamaican fella spots a boat (DeBarge)
+Someone's emailed in more info on the chicken with teeth.  [[Cheeky Freak of the Week]] is/are Chang and Eng from 1829.  Steve's thoughts on supermarket conveyor belt dividers and nervous bus exiters.
-E---do you want a game of tug of war...well it's up to you, you own it. (Europe)
-===Educating Ricky - Sort of ====
+====8. [[07 June 2003/Transcript#Get It Done Right the First Time|Get It Done Right the First Time]] ''(0:44:11)''====
-Karl--"someone's made a chicken with teeth."
+Karl's annoyed by the concept of having sex all night.  Is that why he's called Sting?  Did the fireman have a mustache?
-WHY?
-"Don't know, cause they can."
+====9. [[07 June 2003/Transcript#The Crappest Quiz on Radio|The Crappest Quiz on Radio]] ''(0:46:05)''====
-"they did the sheep the did the clonin'
+Rockbusters answers, and Ricky makes Karl repeat the first two a few times.  Steve wanted to give the prize to Daniel Jowett, but he got it wrong.
-steve--"mouse with the ear on its back"
-Cloning discussion an' that.
+====10. [[07 June 2003/Transcript#That Mammal That's Got the Pointiest Eyes|That Mammal That's Got the Pointiest Eyes]] ''(0:49:03)'' ====
-Ricky wonders how they could get Karl as a pundit on a panel on some TV program.
+Monkey News ''Extra'': Karl's got some info about a monkey in Asia with the biggest "goggle-eyes type thing", protruding 1.6 centimeters from the head, which [[Karl vs. Steve|reminds him of Steve]].  Ricky and [[Ash Atalla]] and Steve and [[Lucy Davis]] playing pool.  Proper Monkey News is about another monkey that's got married.
-Karl reading out of the same magazine which talked about hankies..."they can make your testicles bigger."
-Ricky calls them "manacas" ....did he mean to say "maraccas"?
+====11. [[07 June 2003/Transcript#We Avoided Saying Erection for Two Hours|We Avoided Saying Erection for Two Hours]] ''(0:55:40)''====
-More testicle discussion.
+What does Karl think they've added to the world in today's show?  Karl recaps and Ricky and Steve take the mick about the Tenerife fireman again.
-Ricky "Send this link to Doctor Fox, he'll love it"
-===Cheeky Freak of the Week ===
+==Rockbusters==
-Going back to 1829
+That fella likes sucking on iron.  <span title="Metallica" style="color: red" id=title>M.</span><br>
-It's Siamese Twins again. They're gonna crop up a lot cause they've got double chance. HA!
+The Jamaican fella spots a boat.  <span title="Debarge" style="color: red" id=title>D.</span><br>
-These are the first ones according to Karl. They go on tour around the US and Europe having a wash an' that.
+Do you want a game of Tug-o-War?  It's up to you, you own it.  <span title="Europe" style="color: red" id=title>E.</span><br>
-''Tangent'': Steve then talks about the little dividers on the conveyor belt at the supermarket, and impatient people behind them.
-And now, back to Chang and Ang, the original Siamese Twins, in the bath. Karl says that's about it. no more story.
+==Quotes==
-===Having at it all night===
+'''Ricky''': Who's your favourite, out of Chang and Eng? <br>
-Having sex all night...short discussion. Siamese twin could take over for the knackered one yeah?
+'''Karl''': They both look the same, to be honest.<br>
-then some songs, and now ...
+<br>
-===Monkey News===
+'''Karl''': What's 1.6?<br>
-''Bits and pieces'': The mammal with the eyes that point out furthest from their head, --one point six centemeters to be exact....Steve.--
+'''Steve''': Drop your trousers.<br>
-sort of a goggle-eyed thing. Steve lets Karl just dig the hole deeper.
-Steve--"I'd be annoyed if the monkey's beat me."
+==Playlist==
-Karl--"how long is one point six?"
+Bruce Springsteen - ''Thunder Road'' <br>
-Steve--"drop your trousers!"
+The Verve - ''Lucky Man'' <br>
-===Monkey news extra now===
+The Flaming Lips - ''The Fight Test'' <br>
-''"Another monkey couple got married in Romania. had a good do, celebrated in the pub, went back to the cage that night."  A whirlwind romance...she was in the tire, he saw it, he said i'll have a go at that. he was in the zoo knocking one off, she said, i'll do that for ya"''
+Blur - ''Out of Time'' <br>
+Elton John - ''Saturday Night's Alright (for Fighting)'' <br>
+[[The White Stripes]] - ''I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself''<br>
+Red Hot Chili Peppers - ''Universally Speaking'' <br>
+Teenage Fan Club - ''Radio'' <br>
+REM - ''Nightswimming'' <br>
+Radiohead - ''There There'' <br>
+Mott the Hoople - ''Roll Away the Stone'' <br>
+Oasis - ''Little by Little'' <br>
+Aimee Mann - ''Driving With One Hand On the Wheel'' <br>
+==External Links==
+* [http://alt.xmission.com/~trevin/hanky.html Gay Hanky Code site]
+* [http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?id=mutant-chicken-grows-alli Article on a chicken with teeth]
+* [http://youtube.com/watch?v=nHX3ETW-k9Q YouTube clip - Monkey News; Pointy Eyes]
-Then, the show recap.
-Ricky: "we avoided saying 'erection' for two hours!
 {{Xfm Box}}
+[[Category:Episode Pages|2.41]]


Series 0 \| Series 1 \| Series 2 \| Series 3 \| Series 4
Presenters	Ricky Gervais \| Stephen Merchant \| Karl Pilkington
Others	Claire Sturgess \| Ian Camfield \| Simon Pegg \| Nick Frost
Features	Monkey News \| Rockbusters \| Song For The Ladies \| Song For The Lovers Hip-Hop Hooray \| Cheap as Chimps \| White Van Karl \| Songs of Phrase Cheeky Freak of the Week \| Do We Need 'Em? \| More...