07 June 2003: Difference between revisions

From [[Main_Page|Pilkipedia]], the Karl Pilkington encyclopaedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
No edit summary
(Siamese twins, testicle enlargement, monkey with big eyes, monkey marriage in romania, karl stays hard looking at firemen)
Line 1: Line 1:
Short Ricky birthday recap--Jane got him a "real bow and arrow." Karl got a real gun for a present as a kid "Just shootin' cans an' stuff." Ricky intros Karl to Ross Kemp at dinner in the week. Jonathan Ross shaved his arse once, when he was bored in a hotel room. Karl again recaps finding 42 pages of "Macs" in the Edinburgh phone book. Karl could have gotten £1000 for letting his arse get shaven. Gotta make sure the testicles are out of the way, says Karl. Jonathan Ross also endorses "The Elephant Man" as one of the best films ever. The listeners save Monkey News with email petitions. Rockbusters on super thin ice again but not dead yet. Ricky and Steve hate all the excessive noise in Pubs. More mini-cab stories, including Steve repeating the time the fake cabbie didn't know the way to either Camden OR Swiss Cottage. Karl propositioned about Meditation and Evian--on meditation/breathing, "Well, I'm 30, I've done all right" on Evian--"have you ever tried this? It's WATER!" Karl does Rockbusters. Zoo talk...pity the animals no one goes to see. Ricky would love an owl on his desk. Karl talks again about his magpie 'Maggie.' Steve calls Ricky's squeezing of karl's head a "sexual peccadillo."  Treating the homeless--Karl treats with a diet coke. Karl slags off Bob Geldoff & foreign aid and doesnt even realize it. Chat about charity, cancer, being homeless. Steve intros the show, "I survived a 200-pound tumor." They can't believe a tumor could be that big. 200 pound TUNA Ricky says. Karl cannot bear to go the Doctor and disrobe, and he doesn't like the feel of his balls. Cheeky freak of the week (Steve does the jingle with Ricky) is a girl with 4 eyes, 2 noses, 2 mouths..."mad, innit." "Can she talk with her mouth full?" A bonus CFOTW--smallest man. In a picture next to a fruit bowl. Rockbusters answers coming up. TB-Tony Bennett (Toe-Knee Bin-It) (Ricky--that's a yellow card); TD-The Dark-Ness (Ricky--goal, goal); FNM-Faith No More (Ricky--no! doesn't count! ...Ok... I'll give it to him...there's no Jamaican fellas seeing Icebergs...). Dave Suckling takes the prize there. Monkey News (and Ricky has the little bongos that Karl gave him for his jingle. brilliant.)...how to hand down a Monkey Spa to the kids, which are not blood relatives of the fella monkey, who's gettin on in years. And the fella monkey's name is on the business. RICKY--"please check the facts otherwise you could ...look like ...a twat ...spouting shit... on the radio!" Ricky--"You're educationally subnormal"
I won't have a bad word said against the boss, says Steve, as they come out of the record "Thunder Road." Karl--"how would you describe yourself?" turns into karl having a go at Steve again. "Tall, big eyes."
Link about gay handkerchiefs. Karl researched it. Only Bruce had a baseball cap in his back pocket, not a hanky. But karl talks about armpit fetishes (red hanky in RH pocket, so apparently Bruce is an armpit freak), blue and white one---sailors, etc. Every colored hanky represents something.  
Karl then goes into a recount of a holiday long ago in Tenerife. He's gettin it on with Suzanne, the fireman comes around saying everyone has to vacate due to a fire, and karl wont go out, due to his 'state of arousal.' He wanted to make sure it was a proper fire before leaving the room--he'd rather burn than be embarrassed. Surely the Spanish Fireman kept him aroused yeah?
Discussion of gay lifestyle..."they go out late don't they...we've covered that." --says karl.
But--if Bruce Springsteen asked Karl for "a little cuddle" would he do it?  
Ricky talks about squeezing Karl's head.
Has Karl got Monkey News and Rockbusters this week?
Discussion about dying...if you knew you were gonna die in your sleep but not the day, it wouldnt matter, wouldnt it?
brilliant. I've lost you Karl haven't I?
"I think you lost him on 'sleight of hand linguistically' " says Steve.
Karl's balls feel like wet chamois leather. not wet or shaved, just smooth. he doesn't like it.
How would you want to die?
"I want to die of old age in my mother's arms" said an 11-year old mate of Ricky's. So of course they took the piss out of him for that.
Steve would re-enact Grand Theft Auto and run people over if he knew he was gonna die within 24 hrs. Ricky suggests Karl could watch the show 24.
Karl then teases the holiday at the monkey sanctuary in Cornwall for holiday.  
Karl's dad used to nick shoes in Manchester, not just the goods out of the phone box in Wales.
Rockbusters--
M---that fella likes sucking on Iron (Metallica)
D---the jamaican fella spots a boat (DeBarge)
E---do you want a game of tug of war...well it's up to you, you own it. (Europe)
Karl--"someone's made a chicken with teeth."
WHY?
"Don't know, cause they can."
"they did the sheep the did the clonin'
steve--"mouse with the ear on its back"
Cloning discussion an' that.
Ricky wonders how they could get Karl as a pundit on a panel on some TV program.
Karl reading out of the same magazine which talked about hankies..."they can make your testicles bigger."
Ricky calls them "manacas" ....did he mean to say "maraccas"?
More testicle discussion.
Ricky "Send this link to Doctor Fox, he'll love it"
Cheeky Freak of the Week (CFOTW) time...going back to 1829
It's Siamese Twins again. They're gonna crop up a lot cause they've got double chance. HA!
These are the first ones according to Karl. They go on tour around the US and Europe having a wash an' that.
Steve then talks about the little dividers on the conveyor belt at the supermarket, and impatient people behind them.
And now, back to Chang and Ang, the original Siamese Twins, in the bath. Karl says that's about it. no more story.
Having sex all night...short discussion. Siamese twin could take over for the knackered one yeah?
Rockbusters answers time.
then some songs, and now the Monkey News. The mammal with the eyes that point out furthest from their head, one point six centemeters to be exact....Steve.
sort of a goggle-eyed thing. Steve lets Karl just dig the hole deeper.
Steve--"I'd be annoyed if the monkey's beat me."
Karl--"how long is one point six?"
Steve--"drop your trousers!"
Monkey news extra now...."another monkey couple got married in Romania. had a good do, celebrated in the pub, went back to the cage that night."  A whirlwind romance...she was in the tire, he saw it, he said i'll have a go at that. he was in the zoo knocking one off, she said, i'll do that for ya"
Then, the show recap.
ricky "we avoided saying 'erection' for two hours!

Revision as of 09:05, 30 June 2006

I won't have a bad word said against the boss, says Steve, as they come out of the record "Thunder Road." Karl--"how would you describe yourself?" turns into karl having a go at Steve again. "Tall, big eyes." Link about gay handkerchiefs. Karl researched it. Only Bruce had a baseball cap in his back pocket, not a hanky. But karl talks about armpit fetishes (red hanky in RH pocket, so apparently Bruce is an armpit freak), blue and white one---sailors, etc. Every colored hanky represents something. Karl then goes into a recount of a holiday long ago in Tenerife. He's gettin it on with Suzanne, the fireman comes around saying everyone has to vacate due to a fire, and karl wont go out, due to his 'state of arousal.' He wanted to make sure it was a proper fire before leaving the room--he'd rather burn than be embarrassed. Surely the Spanish Fireman kept him aroused yeah? Discussion of gay lifestyle..."they go out late don't they...we've covered that." --says karl. But--if Bruce Springsteen asked Karl for "a little cuddle" would he do it? Ricky talks about squeezing Karl's head. Has Karl got Monkey News and Rockbusters this week? Discussion about dying...if you knew you were gonna die in your sleep but not the day, it wouldnt matter, wouldnt it? brilliant. I've lost you Karl haven't I? "I think you lost him on 'sleight of hand linguistically' " says Steve. Karl's balls feel like wet chamois leather. not wet or shaved, just smooth. he doesn't like it. How would you want to die? "I want to die of old age in my mother's arms" said an 11-year old mate of Ricky's. So of course they took the piss out of him for that. Steve would re-enact Grand Theft Auto and run people over if he knew he was gonna die within 24 hrs. Ricky suggests Karl could watch the show 24. Karl then teases the holiday at the monkey sanctuary in Cornwall for holiday. Karl's dad used to nick shoes in Manchester, not just the goods out of the phone box in Wales. Rockbusters-- M---that fella likes sucking on Iron (Metallica) D---the jamaican fella spots a boat (DeBarge) E---do you want a game of tug of war...well it's up to you, you own it. (Europe) Karl--"someone's made a chicken with teeth." WHY?

"Don't know, cause they can."

"they did the sheep the did the clonin' steve--"mouse with the ear on its back" Cloning discussion an' that. Ricky wonders how they could get Karl as a pundit on a panel on some TV program. Karl reading out of the same magazine which talked about hankies..."they can make your testicles bigger." Ricky calls them "manacas" ....did he mean to say "maraccas"? More testicle discussion. Ricky "Send this link to Doctor Fox, he'll love it" Cheeky Freak of the Week (CFOTW) time...going back to 1829 It's Siamese Twins again. They're gonna crop up a lot cause they've got double chance. HA! These are the first ones according to Karl. They go on tour around the US and Europe having a wash an' that. Steve then talks about the little dividers on the conveyor belt at the supermarket, and impatient people behind them. And now, back to Chang and Ang, the original Siamese Twins, in the bath. Karl says that's about it. no more story. Having sex all night...short discussion. Siamese twin could take over for the knackered one yeah? Rockbusters answers time. then some songs, and now the Monkey News. The mammal with the eyes that point out furthest from their head, one point six centemeters to be exact....Steve. sort of a goggle-eyed thing. Steve lets Karl just dig the hole deeper. Steve--"I'd be annoyed if the monkey's beat me." Karl--"how long is one point six?" Steve--"drop your trousers!" Monkey news extra now...."another monkey couple got married in Romania. had a good do, celebrated in the pub, went back to the cage that night." A whirlwind romance...she was in the tire, he saw it, he said i'll have a go at that. he was in the zoo knocking one off, she said, i'll do that for ya" Then, the show recap. ricky "we avoided saying 'erection' for two hours!