08 November 2003: Difference between revisions

Latest revision as of 11:22, 2 August 2020

Xfm Series 3
November 2003 - January 2004
List of episodes

Episodes:

Track Listing

For a full transcript of this episode see 08 November 2003/Transcript.

1. Let's Talk About Her Fat Arse (0:00:00)

The show begins on an upbeat note, with the boys saying that last week's show was brilliant; what isn't brilliant is Suzanne's Dave Hill haircut. Ricky recaps last week's incident, which has led to Suzanne and Karl having a row. Karl says that she isn't listening this week so he can talk about her "fat arse". Suzanne was more hurt than annoyed but Karl defended himself by comparing the slagging off of her hair to his "Orientals Don't Age Well" theory. Steve says that Karl has never admitted that he's wrong, and the Manc stands by his Slade comparison this week. He did instruct his girlfriend to wear a hat when out in public, and only bought her the coat so it would take the focus off of her hair. Ricky says Karl is in "deep shite".

2. Gays Love Britney (0:04:33)

Steve discusses Britney Spears, who Ricky thinks is both desperate and all right. Steve says that the pop diva is playing at G.A.Y in London, but only for G.A.Y regulars. The regularity of the attendees was ascertained by a series of questions which Ricky and Steve act out. Assuming the role of his gay alter ego "Paulo", Steve takes Ricky's probing, correctly answering his questions and gaining 20 bender points before letting his straight side show; he's probably bi.

3. Man - Woman - Man (0:08:54)

Karl mentions a programme on telly about someone who may or may not be a man or a woman or something else. This confusion angers Ricky. They finally get to the bottom and discuss the Sky One show "There's Something About Miriam", Steve says that Sky One has nothing on it except for The Simpsons. Kirsty's Home Videos and wrestling. The channel appears to have been made by a 14 year old boy. Karl doesn't have Sky but thinks he would love it, having seen a bit when "doing that show with Richard Bacon". Karl talks in riddles and should be the Gatekeeper in a Dungeons and Dragons game.

4. On A Real Radio Station We Could Never Do This (0:16:14)

Ricky says that the previous link could never have been done by someone like Terry Wogan. Steve can't understand Wogan as the jovial Irishman keeps going up and down with his voice. Paulo makes a return, saying that he'd rather watch the F.A. Cup final than the Eurovision Song Contest, as he fancies David Beckham. Steve, back in the lank guise, says that footballer's shorts used to be tighter (causing a recap of Karl's penis gazing nightclub story), while Gervais predicts that the shorts will get tighter again before he dies, as that is the way fashion goes. Karl moves away from the topic to do Rockbusters, the answers to which can be texted in, which causes Ricky to lament his inability to text. Double You See One. Karl reads the first clue but messes it up; they abandon Rockbusters for a song.

5. Unlike The Times Crossword The Clue Changes Every Time (0:22:55)

Ricky blasts Karl for messing up Rockbusters. He reveals the answer to the first clue, and then sets the second and third.

6. Gun Raid By Three Saddams (0:25:00)

Steve's been reading The Daily Express, in which there is a story about a gun raid by three burglars wearing Saddam Hussein masks. Police are linking the raids as the appearance of the perpetrators looked similar. Steve wonders how the robbers decided upon the masks, leading to a role play of the robbers discussing comedy versus fear. Steve then warns joke shop owners to be more vigilant when selling such masks. Paulo returns to say he likes Shirley Bassey's breasts, only as they are on her. Karl says that "The Film Thing" is coming up later.

7. What Worries Me is the Apostrophe-S (0:29:33)

Karl defends his contribution to the show, and then tells how Ananova.com have stole his idea of only reading the first line of a story. He reads the headlines which he believes prove his point. This would later become a regular feature. Here's the headlines:

Bong: "Vibrating Shoes Could Stop Elderly Falling"
Bong: "Family Sick of Living On Butthole Road"
Bong: "Man Wears Same Shoes For 60 Years"
Bong: "Man Pulls Train With Teeth"
Bong: "Man Fails To Break Clothespegs On Face Record"

The last item is the only one that Karl actually read on with, though the headline is self-explanatory. Karl also tells of a man who ate watches to set a record; 3 in a minute. "How did he time it?" Ricky quips. Karl then says that he thinks that pulling a train with teeth isn't very impressive, and thinks that the man who did that only did it because he couldn't beat the man who pulled it with his hands. Guinness Book discussion includes Ricky telling his "milk bottle on head" observation and Karl as the most stupid human in the world. Gary "Stretch" Turner and the possibility of tweaking the rules. Steve asks about the family who lived on Butthole Road, and says that his family in Bristol lived on an unfortunately named road which he doesn't want to say as his parents still lived there. Ricky meets the revelation with derision and laughter. Steve's friend Rufus used to live in Folkingham then his parents moved to Fingringhoe. Steve asks listeners to email in with similar witticisms. Karl says the family on Butthole Road moved as they were fed up of people pulling their pants down next to the road sign. Karl and Ricky do a sketch where an estate agent won't tell his client the name of the road.

8. Just Cos She's From Switzerland (0:37:57)

The listeners contribute amusing place names; Assagay in South Africa, Fartstown near Leeds, and Butts Farm in Tamworth. Ricky would like rename Manchester as Whinging on the Wold, and become Mayor so he could make the residents work on Mondays (sly dig at Karl there). Steve would like to be mayor of Chinatown, which he claims is not a town, but more of a novelty street with slippy roads, restaurants, lampshade hats and wooden shoes. "I don't think you can build a town entirely out of restaurants," says the lanky one. Ricky tries to get Karl to recap his Oriental aging theory, but the Manc says "Leave it". More place names: Bell End, Clitterhouse Drive and Mianus. Ricky has heard of that somewhere. He and Steve then ask a series of hypothetical questions where the answer comes back as "Mianus". Karl snidely says that rather than reading out the A-Z they should do Rockbusters answers. A Swiss person called Tina wins, and Steve appeals for her to email back to say who her countrymen wanted to win the wars.

9. How Many Times A Day Does He Squoze It? (0:42:33)

Uncertainty as to whether The Elephant Man or Kes is Karl's favourite film. Ricky puts on headphones and realises how noisy and annoying he is. Time for the film quiz. This week, Karl is in Kes. He edits himself into the scene where Billy Casper is made to tell a story in class. Instead of telling the class about his bird, he now tells of Ricky Gervais giving his head a "squoze". The teacher asks how to spell the word "squoze" which causes Ricky to squeal with laughter in the background. Karl (Billy Casper) spells the word, and then spells the word swivel. The class applaud and the clip ends. Back in the studio Ricky is dying of laughter and congratulates Karl. Karl sets a question; how many squeezes can Ricky get in before the show starts.

10. I Don't Feel You've Earned Monday Off (0:47:56)

John has won "The Film Thing". Karl outlines the rules of the verb "squoze". Ricky says Karl hasn't earnt Monday off yet, and demands Monkey News. And here it is: people were on a chatroom, but one poster was a bit strange. Karl brings up the Infinite monkey theorem again. Instead of asking to meet in a pub, the poster asked to meet in a tree, and asked his date to bring bananas to said tree. Ricky gets angry and gets up to leave the studio, saying "you're nearly retarded in some aspects".

11. You Call That A Boil? (0:51:37)

Ricky recaps the show. There is a town called Muff in Northern Ireland. Ricky "boasts" that nobody on radio has anything like Monkey News. The Swiss woman hasn't emailed back to say who they were rooting for in the wars. Steve corrects Ricky that the Swiss speak German anyway. Ricky says that foreigners sound stupid if they don't speak English, and that when he went to Holland he saw a mouse on the stairs with clogs on. Karl learned something this week: there are more moves on a chessboard than particles in the universe. Ricky mumbles an explanation, which includes the phrase "tents towards infinity". Ricky and Steve say goodbye.

Quotes

Ricky: You are one of the most stupid humans I have ever met.
Karl: Well, get me in the book!

Ricky: No one's got anything like Monkey News on radio.
Steve: Think of that as a boast!

Ricky: [The Swiss had better have wanted] us to win [the War]. 'Cause if it wasn’t for us, and we’d have let fascism go in there and, uh-- they’d be speaking bloody German and Italian all over the place wouldn’t they?

Rockbusters

That Teletubby has got nits. P.
I'm saving that money to buy condoms. J.C.
When you're making bread, add a little bit of colour for a change. D.

Trivia

The name of the street Steve's parents live on in Bristol is Gay's Road.
This episode features the only instance of Karl participating in a role play scenario during the Xfm years. Karl did not participate in any additional role plays until Series 5 of the Podcasts.
The American town of Mianus was featured in an episode of MTV show Jackass.

Playlist

The Darkness - I Believe in a Thing Called Love
The Smiths - Cemetry Gates
Outkast - Hey Ya
The Clash - Train in Vain
Johnny Cash - Hurt
Aimee Mann - Red Vines
David Bowie - Waterloo Sunset
The Thorns - I Can't Remember
The Strokes - 12:51
Prince - If I Was Your Girlfriend
Foo Fighters - Learn to Fly
REM - Bad Day
Eddie and the Hot Rods - Do Anything You Wanna Do
Mark Ronson - Ooh Wee
Hawksley Workman - Safe and Sound

External Links


Series 0 \| Series 1 \| Series 2 \| Series 3 \| Series 4
Presenters	Ricky Gervais \| Stephen Merchant \| Karl Pilkington
Others	Claire Sturgess \| Ian Camfield \| Simon Pegg \| Nick Frost
Features	Monkey News \| Rockbusters \| Song For The Ladies \| Song For The Lovers Hip-Hop Hooray \| Cheap as Chimps \| White Van Karl \| Songs of Phrase Cheeky Freak of the Week \| Do We Need 'Em? \| More...

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
 {{Template:Infobox_Xfm_Series_3}}
-After last week's triumph, here's the next installment, presented by [[Ricky Gervais]] and [[Stephen Merchant]]
 ==Track Listing==
+{|width=100% style="border-spacing:8px;margin:0px -8px"
+!{{sectionhead|#EEEEEE|#AAAAAA|left|''For a full transcript of this episode see [[08 November 2003/Transcript]].''}}
+|-
+|
+|}
-====1. Suzanne's Hair====
+====1. [[08 November 2003/Transcript#Let's Talk About Her Fat Arse|Let's Talk About Her Fat Arse]] ''(0:00:00)''====
+The show begins on an upbeat note, with the boys saying that last week's show was brilliant; what isn't brilliant is [[Suzanne]]'s [[Dave Hill]] haircut. Ricky recaps last week's incident, which has led to Suzanne and Karl having a row. [[Karl]] says that she isn't listening this week so he can talk about her "fat arse". Suzanne was more hurt than annoyed but Karl defended himself by comparing the slagging off of her hair to his [[The Chinese Don't Age Well|"Orientals Don't Age Well"]] theory. [[Steve]] says that Karl has never admitted that he's wrong, and the Manc stands by his Slade comparison this week. He did instruct his girlfriend to wear a hat when out in public, and only bought her the coat so it would take the focus off of her hair. [[Ricky]] says Karl is in "deep shite".
-The show begins on an upbeat note, with the boys saying that last week's show was brilliant. What isn't brilliant is Suzanne's Dave Hill haircut. Ricky recaps last week's incident, which has led to Suzanne and Karl having a row. Pilkington says that she isn't listening this week so he can talk about her "fat arse". He did buy her a new coat after last week's show but then undud that by offering to pay to have the haircut sorted out, which Ricky thinks is both despicable and hilarious. Suzzane was more hurt than annoyed but Karl defended himself by comparing the slagging of of her hair to his "Orientals Don't Age Well" theory. Steve says that Karl has never admitted that he's wrong, and the Manc stands by his Slade comparison this week. He did instruct his girlfriend to wear a hat when out in public, and only bought her the coat so it would take the focus off of her hair. Ricky says Karl is in "deep shite".
+====2. [[08 November 2003/Transcript#Gays Love Britney|Gays Love Britney]] ''(0:04:33)''====
+Steve discusses Britney Spears, who Ricky thinks is both desperate and all right. Steve says that the pop diva is playing at G.A.Y in London, but only for G.A.Y regulars. The regularity of the attendees was ascertained by a series of questions which Ricky and Steve act out. Assuming the role of his gay alter ego "Paulo", Steve takes Ricky's probing, correctly answering his questions and gaining 20 bender points before letting his straight side show; he's probably bi.
-====2. Gays Love Britney====
+====3. [[08 November 2003/Transcript#Man - Woman - Man|Man - Woman - Man]] ''(0:08:54)''====
+Karl mentions a programme on telly about someone who may or may not be a man or a woman or something else. This confusion angers Ricky. They finally get to the bottom and discuss the Sky One show "There's Something About Miriam", Steve says that Sky One has nothing on it except for The Simpsons.  Kirsty's Home Videos and wrestling.  The channel appears to have been made by a 14 year old boy. Karl doesn't have Sky but thinks he would love it, having seen a bit when "doing that show with Richard Bacon".  Karl talks in riddles and should be the Gatekeeper in a Dungeons and Dragons game.
-Steve discusses Britney Spears, who Ricky thinks is both desperate and alright. Merchant says that the pop diva turned chav mother is playing at G.A.Y, in London, but only for G.A.Y regulars. The regularity of the attendees was ascertained by a series of questions, which Gervais and Merchant then act out. Assuming the role of his gay alter ego, "Paulo", Merchant takes Gervais's probing, which starts with an attack on his hair. Steve defends his bad hair by saying that he's been ill. He then says that he'd ususally go out at 3am, after initially saying 8pm. Paulo also prefers knobs to tits ("hate 'em), but not Liza Minelli's chest region. Paulo falls at the last hurdle by saying that Britney is sexy but Gervais's bouncer character lets him in, citing him as "bi" and "a bit bent".
+====4. [[08 November 2003/Transcript#On A Real Radio Station We Could Never Do This|On A Real Radio Station We Could Never Do This]] ''(0:16:14)''====
+Ricky says that the previous link could never have been done by someone like Terry Wogan. Steve can't understand Wogan as the jovial Irishman keeps going up and down with his voice. Paulo makes a return, saying that he'd rather watch the F.A. Cup final than the Eurovision Song Contest, as he fancies David Beckham.  Steve, back in the lank guise, says that footballer's shorts used to be tighter (causing a recap of Karl's [[Karl Looks at a Naked Man Before a Naked Lady|penis gazing nightclub story]]), while Gervais predicts that the shorts will get tighter again before he dies, as that is the way fashion goes. Karl moves away from the topic to do [[Rockbusters]], the answers to which can be texted in, which causes Ricky to lament his inability to text. Double You See One.  Karl reads the first clue but messes it up; they abandon Rockbusters for a song.
-====3. Man-woman-man====
+====5. [[08 November 2003/Transcript#Unlike The Times Crossword The Clue Changes Every Time|Unlike The Times Crossword The Clue Changes Every Time]] ''(0:22:55)''====
+Ricky blasts Karl for messing up Rockbusters. He reveals the answer to the first clue, and then sets the second and third.
-Karl mentions a programme on telly, about a "man-woman", who he then describes as a "fella who's a woman", "a bit of both", "a woman- no, a man", "it", "he is a man - well...", "transvestite", "man who is now half a woman", "he's got the top half but not the bottom half" and "a mess". This hesitation angers Gervais. To clarify, for you, the readers, a man went through a sex-change operation but, for whatever reason, kept the male genitalia. The man called himself Miriam, and was the object of lust for a group of men on a Sky One reality show, where the winner out of the group of men got to go out with Miriam. The twist came after the winner was announced, when Miriam lifted up her skirt to reveal a penis and testicles. Ricky suggests doing the same thing to Karl, and that the programme was terrible, and awful. Steve says that Sky One has nothing on it except for the Simpsons, while Gervais says the channel is like it's been schedueled by a 14 year old boy. Steve thinks that that is what actually happens, although he does like the wrestling on it (maybe Paulo is more than an alter ego?). Karl would like Sky, especially for the 24 hour MOnkey Channel, which he saw when "doing that show with Richard Bacon" (Flipside TV).
+====6. [[08 November 2003/Transcript#Gun Raid By Three Saddams|Gun Raid By Three Saddams]] ''(0:25:00)''====
+Steve's been reading ''The Daily Express'', in which there is a story about a gun raid by three burglars wearing Saddam Hussein masks. Police are linking the raids as the appearance of the perpetrators looked similar. Steve wonders how the robbers decided upon the masks, leading to a role play of the robbers discussing comedy versus fear. Steve then warns joke shop owners to be more vigilant when selling such masks. Paulo returns to say he likes Shirley Bassey's breasts, only as they are on her. Karl says that "[[Karl in a Film|The Film Thing]]" is coming up later.
-====4. Merchant 4 Beckham 4eva====
+====7. [[08 November 2003/Transcript#What Worries Me is the Apostrophe-S|What Worries Me is the Apostrophe-S]] ''(0:29:33)''====
+Karl defends his contribution to the show, and then tells how Ananova.com have stole his idea of only reading the first line of a story. He reads the headlines which he believes prove his point. This would later become a [[Karl's News Headlines|regular feature]]. Here's the headlines:
+* Bong: "Vibrating Shoes Could Stop Elderly Falling"
+* Bong: "Family Sick of Living On Butthole Road"
+* Bong: "Man Wears Same Shoes For 60 Years"
+* Bong: "Man Pulls Train With Teeth"
+* Bong: "Man Fails To Break Clothespegs On Face Record"
-Gervais says that the preious link could never have been done by someone like Terry Wogan, who Steve can't understand, as the jovial Irishman keeps going up and down with his voice. Paulo makes a return, saying that he'd rather watch the F.A Cup final than the Eurovision Song Contest, as he fancies David Beckham. Merchant, back in the lank guise, says that footballer's shorts used to be tighter (causing a recap of Karl's penis gazing nightclub story), while Gervais predicts that the shorts will get tighter again before he dies, as that is the way fashion goes ("drainpipes - flairs, tall hat - small hat"). Karl moves away from the topic to do Rockbusters (the answers of which, can be texted in, which causes Gervais to lament his inability to text), here's the questions:
+The last item is the only one that Karl actually read on with, though the headline is self-explanatory. Karl also tells of a man who ate watches to set a record; 3 in a minute. "How did he time it?" Ricky quips. Karl then says that he thinks that pulling a train with teeth isn't very impressive, and thinks that the man who did that only did it because he couldn't beat the man who pulled it with his hands. Guinness Book discussion includes Ricky telling his "milk bottle on head" observation and Karl as the most stupid human in the world.  Gary "Stretch" Turner and the possibility of tweaking the rules.  Steve asks about the family who lived on Butthole Road, and says that his family in Bristol lived on an unfortunately named road which he doesn't want to say as his parents still lived there. Ricky meets the revelation with derision and laughter. Steve's friend [[Rufus]] used to live in Folkingham then his parents moved to Fingringhoe.  Steve asks listeners to email in with similar witticisms. Karl says the family on Butthole Road moved as they were fed up of people pulling their pants down next to the road sign. Karl and Ricky do a sketch where an estate agent won't tell his client the name of the road.
-. This Teletubby has got lice, right? - P
+====8. [[08 November 2003/Transcript#Just Cos She's From Switzerland|Just Cos She's From Switzerland]] ''(0:37:57)''====
+[[Image:Fingringhoe.jpg|right|240px]]
+The listeners contribute amusing place names; Assagay in South Africa, Fartstown near Leeds, and Butts Farm in Tamworth. Ricky would like rename Manchester as Whinging on the Wold, and become Mayor so he could make the residents work on Mondays (sly dig at Karl there). Steve would like to be mayor of Chinatown, which he claims [[Chinatown Is Not A Town|is not a town]], but more of a novelty street with slippy roads, restaurants, lampshade hats and wooden shoes. "I don't think you can build a town entirely out of restaurants," says the lanky one. Ricky tries to get Karl to recap his Oriental aging theory, but the Manc says "Leave it". More place names: Bell End, Clitterhouse Drive and Mianus. Ricky has heard of that somewhere. He and Steve then ask a series of hypothetical questions where the answer comes back as "Mianus". Karl snidely says that rather than reading out the ''A-Z'' they should do Rockbusters answers.  A Swiss person called Tina wins, and Steve appeals for her to email back to say who her countrymen wanted to win the wars.
-Karl has messed that one up, which he admits then cuts to a record.
+====9. [[08 November 2003/Transcript#How Many Times A Day Does He Squoze It?|How Many Times A Day Does He Squoze It?]] ''(0:42:33)''====
+Uncertainty as to whether [[The Elephant Man]] or ''Kes'' is Karl's favourite film.  Ricky puts on headphones and realises how noisy and annoying he is. Time for the film quiz. This week, Karl is in ''Kes''.  He edits himself into the scene where Billy Casper is made to tell a story in class. Instead of telling the class about his bird, he now tells of Ricky Gervais giving his head a "squoze". The teacher asks how to spell the word "squoze" which causes Ricky to squeal with laughter in the background. Karl (Billy Casper) spells the word, and then spells the word swivel. The class applaud and the clip ends. Back in the studio Ricky is dying of laughter and congratulates Karl. Karl sets a question; how many squeezes can Ricky get in before the show starts.
-====5. Rockbusters====
+====10. [[08 November 2003/Transcript#I Don't Feel You've Earned Monday Off|I Don't Feel You've Earned Monday Off]]  ''(0:47:56)''====
+John has won "The Film Thing". Karl outlines the rules of the verb "squoze". Ricky says Karl hasn't earnt Monday off yet, and demands [[Monkey News]].  And here it is: people were on a chatroom, but one poster was a bit strange. Karl brings up the [[Infinite monkey theorem]] again.  Instead of asking to meet in a pub, the poster asked to meet in a tree, and asked his date to bring bananas to said tree. Ricky gets angry and gets up to leave the studio, saying "you're nearly retarded in some aspects".
-Gervais blasts Pilky for messing up Rockbusters. The answer was "Police (Po - lice). He meant to say "nits" instead of "lice" in the question. Here's the other two:
+====11. [[08 November 2003/Transcript#You Call That A Boil?|You Call That A Boil?]] ''(0:51:37)''====
+Ricky recaps the show.  There is a town called Muff in Northern Ireland.  Ricky "boasts" that nobody on radio has anything like Monkey News.  The Swiss woman hasn't emailed back to say who they were rooting for in the wars.  Steve corrects Ricky that the Swiss speak German anyway.  Ricky says that foreigners sound stupid if they don't speak English, and that when he went to Holland he saw a mouse on the stairs with clogs on.  Karl learned something this week:  there are more moves on a chessboard than particles in the universe.  Ricky mumbles an explanation, which includes the phrase "tents towards infinity". Ricky and Steve say goodbye.
-. I'm saving that money to buy condoms, think about it... - JC
+==Quotes==
+'''Ricky''': You are one of the most stupid humans I have ever met. <br>
-. Er, when you're making bread, add a bit of colour for a change, alright? - D
+'''Karl''': Well, get me in the book!   <br>
+<br>
-====6. Saddam Robberies====
+'''Ricky''': No one's got anything like Monkey News on radio.<br>
+'''Steve''': Think of that as a boast! <br>
-Steve's been reading the Daily Express, in which there is a story about a gun raid by three burglars wearing Saddam Hussein masks. Police are linking the raids as the appearance of the perpetrators look similar. Gervais wonders how the robbers decided upon the masks. Ricky and Steve then do a sketch where a burglar wants to do a funny robbery, but one doesn't. Merchant then warns joke shop owners to be more vigilant when selling the said masks. Paulo then says the he likes Shirley Bassey's breasts as they are on her. Karl says that "The Film Thing" is coming up later.
+<br>
+'''Ricky''': [The Swiss had better have wanted] us to win [the War]. 'Cause if it wasn’t for us, and we’d have let fascism go in there and, uh-- they’d be speaking bloody German and Italian all over the place wouldn’t they?
-====7. The Real News====
-Karl defends his contribution to the show, and then tells how Ananova.com have stole his idea of only reading the story. Here's the headlines:
-"Vibrating Shoes Could Stop Elderly Falling"
-Bong
-"Family Sick of Living On Butthole Road"
-Bong
-"Man Wears Same Shoes For 60 Years"
+==Rockbusters==
+That Teletubby has got nits.  <span title="Police" style="color: red" id=title>P.</span><br>
-Bong
+I'm saving that money to buy condoms.  <span title="Johnny Cash" style="color: red" id=title>J.C.</span><br>
+When you're making bread, add a little bit of colour for a change.  <span title="Dido" style="color: red" id=title>D.</span><br>
-"Man Pulls Train With Teeth
-Bong
-"Man Fails To Break Clothespegs On Face Record."
-The last item is the only one that Karl actually read on with, but I don't need to tell you about that as the headline is self-explanatory. Karl also tells of a man who ate watches to set a record; 3 in a minute. "How did he time it?" Ricky quips. Karl then says that he thinks that pulling a train with teeth isn't very impressive, and thinks that the man who did that only did it because he couldn't beat the man who pulled it with his hands. Gervais tells his "milk bottle on head" observation, then says that Karl is the most stupid human in the world; "Well, get me in the book," Karl retorts. Steve asks about the family who lived on Butthole Road, and says that his family in Bristol lived on an unfortuantely named road which he doesn't want to say as his parent's still lived there. Ricky meets the revelation with derision and laughter. Steve says that his friend used to live in Fockingham then moved to Fingering Hoe, and than appeals for listeners to email in with similar witticisms. Karl says the family on Butthole Road moved as they were fed up of people pulling their pants down next to the road sign. Karl and Ricky do a sketch where an estate agent won't tell his client the name of the road.
-====8. Weird Location, Weird Location, Weird Location====
-The listeners contribute amusing place names; Arsagay in New Zealand, Fartstown near Leeds, and Butts Farm in Tamworth. Ricky would like rename Manchester as Whinging on the Wold, and become Mayor so he could make the residents work on Mondays (sly dig at Karl there). Steve would like to be mayor of Chinatown, which he claims is not a town, but more of a novelty street with slippy roads, restaurants, lampshade hats and wooden shoes. "You can't build a town on restaurants," the lanky one advises. Ricky tries to get Karl to recap his Oriental aging theory, but the Manc says "leave it". More place names: Bell End, Clitterhouse Drive, and Mianus. Ricky has heard of that somewhere (he doesn't know where but I do; MTV's Jacksass). He and Steve then ask a series of hypothetical questions where the answer comes back as "Mianus" (which, unbeknownst to Gervais and Merchant, is exactly what the Jackass boys did). Karl snidely says that rather than reading out the A-Z they should do Rockbusters answers:
-. JC - Johnny Cash (johnny is slang for condom, cash is lang for money)
-. D - Dido (die dough)
-A Swiss person called Tina wins, and Steve appeals for her to email back to say who her countrymen wanted to win the wars.
-====9. Kez====
-Ricky puts on headphones and realises how noisy and annoying he is. Time for the film quiz. This week, Karl is in Kez, now this is genius. He edits himself into the scene where Billy Casper is made to tell a story in class. Instead of telling the class about his bird (Kez), he now tells of Ricky Gervais giving his head a "squoze". The teacher asks how to spell the word "squoze" which causes Ricky to squeal with laughter in the background. Karl (Billy Casper) spells the word, and then spells the word swivel. The class applaud and the clip ends. Back in the studio Ricky is dying of laughter, and congratulates Karl, and rightly so. Karl sets a question; how many squozes can Ricky get in before the show starts.
-====10. Perverted Chimps====
-John has won "The Film Thing". Karl outlines the rules of the verb "squoze". Ricky says Karl hasn't earnt Monday off yet, and demands Monkey News. And here it is: people were on a chatroom, but one poster was a bit strange. Instead of asking to meet in a pub, he asked to meet in a tree, and asked his date to bring bananas to said tree. Ricky gets angry and leaves the studio, and once again, wheels out the tired old "you're a retard" thing.
-====11. Xenophobia====
-Gervais recaps the show. There is a town called Muff in Northern Ireland. Ricky "boasts" that nobody on radio has anything like Monkey News. The Swiss woman hasn't emailed back to say who they were rooting for in the wars. Steve corrects Gervais that the Swiss speak German anyway. Ricky says that foreigners sound stupid if they don't speak English, and that when he went to Holland he saw a mouse on the stairs. Karl tells that there are more moves on a chessboard than particles in the universe. Gervais mumbles an explanation, which includes the phrase "tents towards infinity". Gervais and Merchant say goodbye.
-==Quotes==
+==Trivia==
+* The [[FAQ| name of the street Steve's parents live on]] in Bristol is Gay's Road.
+* This episode features the only instance of Karl participating in a role play scenario during the Xfm years.  Karl did not participate in any additional role plays until [[Series 5]] of the Podcasts.
+* The American town of Mianus was featured in an episode of MTV show ''Jackass''.
 ==Playlist==
+The Darkness - ''I Believe in a Thing Called Love'' <br>
+The Smiths - ''Cemetry Gates'' <br>
+Outkast - ''Hey Ya''<br>
+The Clash - ''Train in Vain''<br>
+Johnny Cash - ''Hurt''<br>
+Aimee Mann - ''Red Vines''<br>
+[[David Bowie]] - ''Waterloo Sunset''<br>
+The Thorns - ''I Can't Remember''<br>
+The Strokes - ''12:51''<br>
+Prince - ''If I Was Your Girlfriend''<br>
+Foo Fighters - ''Learn to Fly''<br>
+REM - ''Bad Day''<br>
+Eddie and the Hot Rods - ''Do Anything You Wanna Do'' <br>
+Mark Ronson - ''Ooh Wee'' <br>
+Hawksley Workman - ''Safe and Sound'' <br>
-I Believe In A Thing Called Love - The Darkness
+==External Links==
+* [http://www.g-a-y.co.uk/bar.asp G.A.Y. on Old Compton Street, London]
-Cemetry Gates - The Smiths
+* [http://www.fingringhoe.info/site_index.htm Fingringhoe Village official website]
+* {{Xfm|id=18684}}
-Hey Ya - Outkast
-Train In Vain - The Clash
-Hurt - Johnny Cash
-Red Vines - Aimee Mann
-Waterloo Sunset - David Bowie
-I Can't Remember - The Thorns
-:51 - The Strokes
-If I Was Your Girlfriend - Prince
-Learn To Fly - Foo Fighters
-Bad Day - REM
-Do Anything You Wanna Do - Eddie And The Hot Rods
-Oooh-eee - Mark Ronson
-Unknown - Hawxley Workman
-==Extras==
-Transcript Here When It's Done
-==Download==
-http://www.sendspace.com/file/uqvfmc
-http://rapidshare.de/files/31179293/s03e02.mp3
-http://www.f-forge.com?d=2Zx1U8MGdTcE5RVgyBO9
+{{Xfm Box}}
-==See Also==
+[[Category:Episode Pages|3.02]]
-*[[Xfm Series 1]]
-*[[Xfm Series 2]]
-*[[Xfm Series 4]]


Series 0 \| Series 1 \| Series 2 \| Series 3 \| Series 4
Presenters	Ricky Gervais \| Stephen Merchant \| Karl Pilkington
Others	Claire Sturgess \| Ian Camfield \| Simon Pegg \| Nick Frost
Features	Monkey News \| Rockbusters \| Song For The Ladies \| Song For The Lovers Hip-Hop Hooray \| Cheap as Chimps \| White Van Karl \| Songs of Phrase Cheeky Freak of the Week \| Do We Need 'Em? \| More...