12 January 2002/Transcript

This is a transcription of the 12 January 2002 episode, from Xfm Series 1

NB This is transcribed from a partial recording of the show and contains language which may cause offense.

Small Man Complex

RG P.O.D., or "POD" as I call them. SM Mhmm. RG I don't. SM No. RG Xfm 104.9, it's The Ricky Gervais Show. SM With Steve Merchant. RG Yeah. So Dermot O'Diddly (SM Yes) for weeks and weeks, weeks and weeks in a row he doesn't even turn up and now suddenly he's all over breakfast. SM I notice, yeah, he's standing in for the breakfast show, why weren't we asked to do that? It's quite upsetting... RG Well... We were. SM Were we? RG Yeah. SM I didn't know about this. RG Yeah but I don't wanna get up that early do I? SM Sure, sure. RG Er, I feel a bit hungover today actually. SM Do you? RG Yeah. SM What's happening? What, what were you partying last night were you? RG Well not partying, we just went out, went out for a couple of drinks then had a meal and then went to the Borderline and saw a ba-- I'll tell you about that, was good... SM You saw a band? RG Yeah... SM That's the first time in years isn't it? RG It is, yeah, yeah, it is... 'Cause, you know John Simm, the actor? SM Mmm... Not really. RG He's in this band right, called magi... Magic Alex, and it was really good, they're sort of like... Sort of like a friendly Oasis, they've got, y'know, sort of quite m... Y'know quite manc sort of feel which was really good, good songs and everything right... SM Is he the singer? RG Ye-- No, he's the guitarist. And I just go... But, it was full of actors, 'cause it, y'know right... And I felt quite tall. SM That's ludicrous 'cause (RG See---) you're a very short man. RG Well I am, I'm sort of, I'm... I was average but now I'm not, I don't think, 5'8" that's, right, but there I was like, quite... It was like Lilliput. SM (laughs) RG (laughing) So I've just, just gotta hang out at actors do's, "Alright?" "Yeah..." SM This is the reason, 'cause act... Actors are often very, quite handsome people... But yet they're always quite ob--- RG Yep, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are. SM ... No I mean they're normally quite obnoxious Rick. Again, y'know, you're quite a good example of that. (RG (laugh)) And yet, I think it must be the small man complex, that's what makes them so obnoxious and so, kinda desperate for attention... (RG Alright...) Didn't realise it before... RG Steady on... SM 'Cause I suppose I tower above everyone. RG You do don't ya. SM I'm er, for people who don't know who're listening, I'm 6 foot 7 inches tall. That's... That's... That's... That's high. RG Yeah... SM That's big. RG And, and, and, um, for people who've never seen him, he doesn't hold it well, it's not like he's a... Sort of handsome athlete, is it Karl? He's a bit of a... Well what would you call him? A t... SM Karl, don't answer it, (RG No no no---) don't get drawn into that. You know-- You know the game he's playing! KP N-n-n-n-no; d'you know yesterday, when you were in the office? RG Yeah. KP You did a little move... And it reminded me of Blakey. RG (laughs) KP Off er... Off "Off the--- RG "Oooh I hate you Gervais, Oooh I hate you Pilkington." KP That sorta (RG He's a---) stance... RG Yeah... But even he was, he held it a little bit better didn't he? 'Cause he was a ma-- Y'know, he had a big coat and everything and a peak cap... But er, yeah... SM I can't believe... Like I've not suffered enough from being freakishly tall, now two of my best buddies, (RG Yeah...) live on radio, are just slagging me off--- RG It's not just the height though, is it? It's the... Posture and the face and everything. KP But it's got you places hasn't it? SM/RG (laugh) SM No, what do you mean (KP No it has...) it's got me places? KP I think, I think people give you bit more of a chance in, in your carreer and stuff, it's like... SM What, yeah, stacking shelves! RG (laughs) SM (laughing) 'Cause I can reach to a high le-- A h...

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