12 January 2002/Transcript

This is a transcription of the 12 January 2002 episode, from Xfm Series 1

NB This is transcribed from a partial recording of the show and contains language which may cause offense.

Small Man Complex

RG P.O.D., or "POD" as I call them.<BR\> SM Mhmm.<BR\> RG I don't.<BR\> SM No.<BR\> RG Xfm 104.9, it's The Ricky Gervais Show.<BR\> SM With Steve Merchant.<BR\> RG Yeah. So Dermot O'Diddly (SM Yes) for weeks and weeks, weeks and weeks in a row he doesn't even turn up and now suddenly he's all over breakfast.<BR\> SM I notice, yeah, he's standing in for the breakfast show, why weren't we asked to do that? It's quite upsetting...<BR\> RG Well... We were.<BR\> SM Were we?<BR\> RG Yeah.<BR\> SM I didn't know about this.<BR\> RG Yeah but I don't wanna get up that early do I?<BR\> SM Sure, sure.<BR\> RG Er, I feel a bit hungover today actually.<BR\> SM Do you?<BR\> RG Yeah.<BR\> SM What's happening? What, what were you partying last night were you?<BR\> RG Well not partying, we just went out, went out for a couple of drinks then had a meal and then went to the Borderline and saw a ba-- I'll tell you about that, was good...<BR\> SM You saw a band?<BR\> RG Yeah...<BR\> SM That's the first time in years isn't it?<BR\> RG It is, yeah, yeah, it is... 'Cause, you know John Simm, the actor?<BR\> SM Mmm... Not really.<BR\> RG He's in this band right, called magi... Magic Alex, and it was really good, they're sort of like... Sort of like a friendly Oasis, they've got, y'know, sort of quite m... Y'know quite manc sort of feel which was really good, good songs and everything right...<BR\> SM Is he the singer?<BR\> RG Ye-- No, he's the guitarist. And I just go... But, it was full of actors, 'cause it, y'know right... And I felt quite tall.<BR\> SM That's ludicrous 'cause (RG See---) you're a very short man.<BR\> RG Well I am, I'm sort of, I'm... I was average but now I'm not, I don't think, 5'8" that's, right, but there I was like, quite... It was like Lilliput.<BR\> SM (laughs)<BR\> RG (laughing) So I've just, just gotta hang out at actors do's, "Alright?" "Yeah..."<BR\> SM This is the reason, 'cause act... Actors are often very, quite handsome people... But yet they're always quite ob---<BR\> RG Yep, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are.<BR\> SM ... No I mean they're normally quite obnoxious Rick. Again, y'know, you're quite a good example of that. (RG (laugh)) And yet, I think it must be the small man complex, that's what makes them so obnoxious and so, kinda desperate for attention... (RG Alright...) Didn't realise it before...<BR\> RG Steady on...<BR\> SM 'Cause I suppose I tower above everyone.<BR\> RG You do don't ya.<BR\> SM I'm er, for people who don't know who're listening, I'm 6 foot 7 inches tall. That's... That's... That's... That's high.<BR\> RG Yeah...<BR\> SM That's big.<BR\> RG And, and, and, um, for people who've never seen him, he doesn't hold it well, it's not like he's a... Sort of handsome athlete, is it Karl? He's a bit of a... Well what would you call him? A t...<BR\> SM Karl, don't answer it, (RG No no no---) don't get drawn into that. You know-- You know the game he's playing!<BR\> KP N-n-n-n-no; d'you know yesterday, when you were in the office?<BR\> RG Yeah.<BR\> KP You did a little move... And it reminded me of Blakey.<BR\> RG (laughs)<BR\> KP Off er... Off "Off the---<BR\> RG "Oooh I hate you Gervais, Oooh I hate you Pilkington."<BR\> KP That sorta (RG He's a---) stance...<BR\> RG Yeah... But even he was, he held it a little bit better didn't he? 'Cause he was a ma-- Y'know, he had a big coat and everything and a peak cap... But er, yeah...<BR\> SM I can't believe... Like I've not suffered enough from being freakishly tall, now two of my best buddies, (RG Yeah...) live on radio, are just slagging me off---<BR\> RG It's not just the height though, is it? It's the... Posture and the face and everything.<BR\> KP But it's got you places hasn't it?<BR\> SM/RG (laugh)<BR\> SM No, what do you mean (KP No it has...) it's got me places?<BR\> KP I think, I think people give you bit more of a chance in, in your carreer and stuff, it's like...<BR\> SM What, yeah, stacking shelves!<BR\> RG (laughs)<BR\> SM (laughing) 'Cause I can reach to a high le-- A h...<BR\><BR\>

Song: Muse - Plug In Baby