15 March 2003
15 March 2003 Karl's been off ill for three weeks much to Ricky's disgust, a new feature is born and tension between Karl and Stephen comes to a head.
Track Listing
1. Sick
It was when the winds were bad in the '70s. Me mum just said 'You might get blown into the road, so don't go in...'
2. Crosswords
What I've done is, taken a popular saying from the show, something that crops up quite a lot in the show. The first thing that sprang to mind was 'There's this hairy Chinese kid'...
3. Quiz
Rather like John Harvey Jones who used to be called in to troubleshoot companies, I see why you're not winning ever. I think you're going to need to step down...
4. Wrestle
Karl, when was the last time Steve wrestled you to the ground and got you in a leg clamp?
5. Cat
If it was any bigger it would of been a tiger. It was just always having a go at you - if you went to pat it on the head it'd go to bite you...
6. Monkey News
I've actually been asked to write a thing about monkeys for a magazine called... something 'Apes'. They want me to write a column, 500 words, about anything I want on monkeys. Anything.
7. Hairy
I love the fact that the normal bit of that is the well known phrase 'There's this hairy Chinese kid'. Like, nothing happened there. That's normal.
8. Bizarre
I was looking in Bizarre magazine and there was this fella - he had no arms - his job was fixing watches... did it with his feet! Why pick the hardest job to do when you haven't got any hands? Crush grapese!
9. Billy
WFor those of you who haven't seen it, and don't have the requisite ?4.99 to buy it yourself, you can win - on VHS, panned and scanned - 'Billy Elliot' the special edition.'
10. Fight
Do you have know how you're always having a go at my ideas? 'Cheap As Chimps' you've put down, I normally come up with these because you don't come up with any competition ideas...