24 August 2002/Transcript

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This is a transcript of the 24 August 2002 episode, from Xfm Series 2


A Licky Boom Boom Down

Steve: Oh, ho, hooooo.

Steve laughs

Ricky: That’s Feeder and “Come Back Around.” It’s a new leaf, Steve of - I’m goin' to, to, do properly now I’m not gonna be slufelin’, I’m sittin’ up straight you see-

Steve: Yep

Ricky: -and it’s jus’ gonna be a proper DJing, cos I figure… Coming up soon some great tracks including a new one from Abs and an old one from Snow “Infoooormer.”

Steve laughs

Steve mumbles incorrect lyrics to Snow “Informer”

Steve: A licky boom boom dooooown.

Ricky: I’m joking of course. We’ve got some fantastic tracks-

Steve: Good stuff, yeah

Ricky: -some great chat, we’ve got Karl who’s-

Steve: Some great chat.

Ricky: -Steve, I’m Ricky Gervais on Xfm 104.9.

Steve: There he is indeed with him Steve Merchant and uh Karl Pilkington of course. Say hello, Karl.

Karl: Alright.

Steve: Yeah, nice. And uh, you you say you were in-

Ricky: The beginning of a radio show is very much your wears, your shop window laying out your stall. I don’t think you can choose a better track than The Only Ones “Another Girl Another Planet.”

Steve: I’d love to hear it.

The Only Ones - Another Girl Another Planet


Croque-Monsieur

Ricky: One of my favourite intos, that.

Steve: Amazing.

Ricky: Oh that was dangerous. Cos I once heard on Capital radio, um, “This has got to be the greatest rock intro of all time,” and they played “Money for Nothing” by Dire Straights.

Steve: Brilliant.

Ricky: Yeah, I can just imagine them putting their head down-

Steve: I remember a friend of mine at uh, when I was at school, he he just bought a car and he took me outside to show off the stereo system. “Money for Nothing” just uh, just played that. I’d never heard the song before. Just played that for its entire 4 or 5 minute duration-

Ricky: It is a good song for uh

Steve: -to show off the uh sound system.

Ricky: Yeah it’s a good song for showing off intros and sound systems.

Steve: Exactly.

Ricky: Yeah.

Steve: You said you were driving along earlier you saw someone uh-

Ricky: Are you, are you uh yeah pl- yeah it was one of those souped up sort of um, uh, sporty saloons.

Steve: Nice.

Ricky: You know that people put out like a Mondale or something one of the big- and uh, it was blaring out and the bloke in it was sorta like- I could tell he was 24 but already going bald.

Steve: Ssss, yeah.

Ricky: From from like obviously his estate agency job.

Steve: Yeah.

Ricky: But he’s made a bit of money and he’s got uh, and the stereo system was ridiculous-

Steve: Yeah.

Ricky: -I mean so loud and it was going through Common Garden. He was playing Snow “Informer.”

Steve: Ha. Awwww. I just, do people remember “Informer” by Snow? It was a big tune back in-

Ricky: I don’t. I don’t know. It’s, it’s great I, I always enjoy it.

Steve: Can I bring that in next week? Can we play Snow next week?

Ricky: No. We can play a tiny little bit of it.

Steve: Tiny little bit of Snow before-

Ricky: Yeah, I’m-

Steve: Do you remember Snow, Karl?

Karl: uh yeah uh loved it-

Steve: You know, a big tune

Ricky: Loved it. Oh did ya?

Steve: Big tune from the 90’s.

Ricky: Yeah.

Karl: Happy song, innit?

Steve: Rick, you were saying that you’ve turned over a new leaf-

Ricky: Yeah, yeah.

Steve: Is that in all aspects of your life or is that just in your broadcasting career. Because uh, the reason I bring that up is because, do you wanna describe what you were eating just now when we came in? Cos you’re a forty- you’re a forty year old man and you’ve put on-

Ricky: No now listen-

Steve: -a little bit of weight so presumably you’re watching what you eat.

Ricky: Well, no but it sounded exotic-

Steve: Can I- go on.

Ricky: -I went into a café, and I didn’t- they didn’t have a cheese sandwich-

Steve: Right.

Ricky: And uh-

Steve: Can I describe what it looked like to me?

Ricky laughs

Steve: Right, it looked to me like a big slab of cheese you’ve just got them to just cut off a big block of cheese like the size of a CD case-

Ricky laughs

Steve: -that, one of those double albums, alright, of cheese, right. And just lightly melt that for me-

Ricky: Yeah.

Steve: -so it drips over my hand and-

Ricky: Yeah.

Steve: -it gets really greasy in the bag. But just lay some strips of bacon on the top.

Ricky: Yeah, but listen you’ve embarrassed yourself-

Steve: Is that what it was?

Ricky: No it’s a croque-monsieur so it’s French.

Steve: It’s a what?

Ricky: A croque-monsieur.

Steve: A croque-monsieur.

Ricky: Yeah, and so I got- I thought, ooo.

Steve: I’ve never heard of a croque-monsieur-

Ricky: You’re having a l- see you’ve embarrassed yourself.

Steve: Is that how it’s pronounced?

Ricky: Yeah.

Steve: Or is it croque-monsieur?

Pause

Steve: Oooooh.

Ricky laughs

Steve: Eh, eh? You didn’t expect me to be bringing out the French, eh?

Ricky laughs

Steve and Ricky: Speak French

Ricky: That means… my aunt’s pen.

Steve: So wh-what was it then, a croque- it was a croque-monsieur?

Ricky: Yeah, and it was just too greasy and it was just too- and it was all wobbly, I-I-I-I when I like toast I like it to be crisp.

Steve: Sure.

Ricky: It’s the thing with like, wh-wh- this is rubbish. Play Coldplay.

Coldplay - In My Place


Planes, Trains and Awfulmobiles

Casino Steve

Fancying a Tramp

Simon and Nick's Ghost Stories

The Fire, the Wife, and the Cat

Lycanthropy

White Van Karl

Paperboy Karl

Wilde

Hard to Swallow

Laughable Rocker