Dictionary of Karl Pilkington

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Karl has a unique way of speaking. Karl's idiolect is made up of old-fashioned sayings, Mancunian slang, and correct English that has been misspoken. Below are examples of Karl's one-of-a-kind speech.

A

  • 'Airy - hairy: 'airy Chinese kid
  • Alrigh' - hello / how are you? / great / good / okay / not great. Sense is determined by tone and context.
  • An' tha' - usually meaningless, sometimes meaning etcetera.
  • Annoyed - any of various degrees of irritation. One of the very few feelings Karl identifies.
  • Aphrodite - Hermaphrodite

B

  • Baba - Babylonian: Evertonians are from Everton, so Babylonians are from Baba.
  • Badder - worse: then it got a bit badder.
  • Blokage - manliness, Signs that one is a man: "When meeting a tranny, you should look for signs of blokage"
  • Bom boms - bon bons.
  • Boswell - Roswell (New Mexico)
  • Bungled in - bundled in: I don't wanna be bungled in
  • Bung on - put on: "I'll bung a song on then"
  • Boo-boo - pooh-pooh: You've boo-boo'd the idea of..
  • Bum tube - enema, colonic irrigation: No bum tubes though.
  • Bozwollocks - boswellox: not a good name for an ingredient like sodium

C

  • Clackering - a bad beating: Leroy gave us a right good clackerin'.
  • Clive Warren - Clive Owen
  • Condensity - consistency: Tic Tacs have a similar condensity to kitty litter
  • Crop/croppage - crops: too much fruit about, so just crop
  • Cropping - ploughing fields: who's gonna do the cropping?

D

  • Demmicky - not proper: the thing is, right, if you have a lot of something, you also have a lot of demick ones, don't you...
  • Drawned - drawn: you're more drawned to things that keep your eyes interested

E

  • Effin' 'n' jeffin' - swearing: me brother was effin' 'n' jeffin' all the time
  • Egypt bloke - Egyptian

F

  • Face rub - facial: ...just a posh face wash
  • Flumpf - rubbish / superficial: They want some- some, sort of - flumpf telly, that they don't have to think about.
  • Foodage - food: Whether it's a potato or a nut, it's a foodage.
  • Forrest Gump - disabled person: me dad put a Forrest Gump in a wheelie bin
  • Frightenedness - fear: he had a look of frightendness on his face
  • Fuckerage - problems: it's added to the fuckerage.

G

  • Glunge - wet muck / filth: I was up to my shoulder Steve, in like- glunge
  • Gozzin' - spitting: the octopus was gozzin' about everywhere
  • Greenness - primitive life form. "In the beginning, air created the greenness"
  • Grippage - grip: there's a lot of grippage on the side of the building

H

  • Havin' it away - having sex: we were on holiday, and we were havin' it away an' that...

K

  • Knockin' about - around, in the area: turned out.. a monkey was knockin' about
  • Kusabi - wasabi: I'm serving some right rubbish tonight, give 'em some of that kusabi
  • Kidded - Tricked: "It's like your brain is being kidded"

L

  • Learn - learn / teach: I'll learn you something there
  • Limsy - cross between limp and flimsy.
  • Little fella - a man, not necessarily little.
  • Little gay fella - homosexual male: there was this little gay fella...

M

  • Me - me / my
  • Miminalistic - minimalistic: A coupla years back, people went miminalistic
  • Molish - A characteristic of people who live underground
  • Moly - Covered in moles: "Auntie Nora's back is moly"
  • Monkey - Any non-human primate, usually a chimpanzee
  • Mongs - mongoloids / mongooses
  • Moped over - slumped, slouched: moped over in a wheelchair

O

  • Otherness - Other, more evolved forms of life than greenness. "From the greenness came otherness"
  • our kid - brother or sister
  • Oven - Karls excuse to prove Suzanne wrong, as he had to pay an £80 call out charge for a broken fuse, which he could have easily fixed. Suzanne: Karl, call someone out. Karl: Oven

P

  • palaco - alpaca: It doesn't want to be somewhere else. It's where it was. And that's the same with this palaco, or whatever.
  • Papa People - natives of Papua New Guinea: these Papa People, right...
  • Pikelet - A thin crumpet
  • plunge things - ear plugs
  • probleming - troubling, causing problems: Whilst I'm sat here [my legs] are not probleming me

R

  • remembered - reminded: now that you've remembered me that...
  • replemishing - replenishing: I needed to replemish 'cos I was so tired
  • rum 'un - rough, ne'er-d'well: she was a rum 'un
  • rummanging - rummaging: he started rummanging
  • Ricky - Ricky Gervais, the man who introduced Karl to the world, his show he produced on XFM

S

  • squoze - (to squeeze) past tense: he came in at one o'clock and squoze it then!
  • scruffily - in a scruffy, disorganized manner
  • slugage - slug
  • Stressed out - One of the few feelings Karl can identify
  • stylish way - new style of writing in which the pages are all out of order
  • Suzanne - Karl's Girlfriend

T

  • tenseness - tension: you've got a lot of tenseness there
  • ting - to rattle or bounce in a metallic fashion: you could hear one tingin' its way up the tube
  • tink - to knock glasses together
  • thetht - Theft, robbin'
  • Thump - To hit, to punch
  • Tight - Mean, cruel.
  • Tubberware - tupperware: yeah, the plastic boxes
  • Testerone - Testosterone: The male sex hormone

U

  • uncomfy: uncomfortable.
  • uppered - promoted: they get sort of... what's the word... sort of uppered too early
  • Ugerly - Ugly. "I heard we're all gonna go ugerly."

W

  • webbage - web: "...floating around on a bit of webbage"
  • wewe - an old female ghost with drooping breasts: I said she might end up becoming a wewe.
  • What's-her-name: When Karl can't find the right word he says this, whether it's a woman, man, place, event etc. "I went to what's-her-name.. barley street"
  • whop - (to whop), to remove from covering: she whopped 'em out and he started suckin' on 'em an' that
  • willy-nillily - carefree: but you just said it willy-nillily
  • World - The Earth - "The Earth is our world; Its the World"
  • worry hole - the part of the brain that casts doubt: Everyone's got to fill that worry hole with worried.
  • wroted - written: someone had wroted - uh!

X

  • XFM - the radio station Karl was dicovered on