Karl Pilkington
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Karl Pilkington (born September 23, 1972 in Manchester, UK) is an English radio producer previously best known for producing The Ricky Gervais Show on the radio station Xfm. After leaving Xfm, Pilkington reached an international audience through his appearances with Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant on The Ricky Gervais Podcast.
Childhood
Karl lived in Manchester for most of his life. His descriptions of his childhood suggest that his was an unconventional upbringing. Growing up on a council estate, he was educated at Ashton-on-Mersey School, but was regularly absent due to family holidays. These were arranged by his parents during term-time (when it was cheaper to do so). He claims that during his school years, he was given two attendance awards in an attempt to persuade him to remain in school. This strategy failed, and Karl continued his absenteeism. He now contends that he was never encouraged by his teachers, and that they said he would "never be a high flyer." Moreover, he disliked school because all of his teachers were 'profiting' from his education, and complains that in class he was regularly given menial and pointless tasks, such as attaching as many stickers to Thomson brochures as possible in 30 minutes.
He had a number of near-death experiences as a child. These include: nearly choking to death on a Freeze-pop, almost plummeting to his death when climbing out of an upstairs window to do his paper round (it was blizzard conditions and Karl's mother had locked the door to stop him doing his round in such dangerous conditions), the time he tried to 'kick his height' and the 'bad cream incident', when Karl had eaten too many cream doughnuts which were discarded at the back of a local baker's shop.
Karl left school without collecting his exam results - live on air (on Xfm) Ricky Gervais revealed that he had attained a single "E" GCSE grade in History. This came as something of a surprise to Karl as he had no recollection of actually taking the exam. The excitement of this news was tempered somewhat by the discovery that he had not received grades for any of the GCSEs he actually does remember sitting as unfortunately he had registered for the exams.
Pilkington went through a number of jobs, his favourite being his paper round. Karl claims to this day that his paper round is his best ever job, as he was his own boss. When Ricky pointed out that the newsagent was his boss, Karl replied with "nah".
Karl's school and its catchment area were near a power plant. This could explain his inherent fascination with 'freaks' ("I just like odd stuff"), as the school contained a couple of (unrelated) pupils who had "big heads and webbed hands" (but they weren't friends, as Karl explains that would've been "too obvious"), together with a boy with a 'pigeon's chest'.
Karl's family, it would seem, are almost as strange as he is. He recalls the story of his father and uncle impersonating policemen in order to sort out a woman who mistreats her husband by carrying him around in the basket of her tricycle, and somewhat gives the game away on his dad who apparently regularly steals groceries from a phonebox in the small village where he lives. Karl also claims that when one of his budgies died, his mother took one of its feathers and stuck it to a rock in order to make some company for the surviving bird. Her strange actions towards pets run deeper, as Karl tells the tale of the time their cat was ill and kept being sick, so his mother shaved it, thus creating the world's first dry-wipe feline.
Karl's most infamous family member, however, has to be his Auntie Nora. On one occaission, when she was "drugged up" ("her bedside cabinet's like Boots") she phoned Karl's mother complaining that she had been breaking wind for five minutes. Karl also remarks that her "female parts" resemble "a split tennis ball" after inadvertently glancing up her skirt as she sat down. Her other antics include wanting an astro-turf lawn ("she likes the green look, but doesn't want the headaches that come with it"), putting a valance on everything - including over the front of her VCR player - and the fact that "all her food is mashed up... she's got teeth, but she don't need 'em".
Career
Karl briefly worked as a printer after leaving school at 15, where he was made to work a 24-hour shift pressing CDs for the band Smokey. He partly attributes his baldness to this incident. He then moved on to work for 10 years as a Head of Production at London radio station XFM where he met long-time girlfriend Suzanne. It was also here that he met Ricky and Steve in their second stint at the station when he was given the job of producing their new run of shows. Pilkington was initially an off-air producer of the show, but his antics and opinions soon led to him joining Merchant and Gervais on-air.'
Quotes and Opinions
Main Article: Karl Pilkington Quotes
As well as his specific views, ideas and philosophies, Karl also has particular way of speaking. Karl's idiolect is made up of old-fashioned sayings (eg. "have it away"), Mancunian slang (eg. "knockin' about"), and correct English that has been misspoken (eg. "squoze"). Here are some more examples:
- "Bit weird, innit" -the only conclusion Karl is often capable of.
- "Effin' and jeffin'" -used regularly as slang for swearing.
- "Foodage" -used to describe food as a general term.
- "Have it away" -Karl's euphemism for sex.
- "...an' that" -added to the end of almost every statement.
- "Little gay fella" -how Karl usually describes homosexuals.
- "Little chinese fella" -how Karl usually describes the Chinese.
- "Bungled" -a mispronunciation of the word "bundled".
- "Grippage" -an adjective to describe a wall or surface that has a good grip.
- "Squoze" -past tense of the verb to squeeze.
- "Wroted" -past tense of the verb to write.