Ricky's Film Review: Difference between revisions

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[[Image:junglebook.jpg|100px|left]]
[[Image:junglebook.jpg|100px|left]]
From [[10 November 2001]]:<br>
From [[10 November 2001]]:<br>
''Right, little kid. He’s in the jungle, right? But he knows a bear and a panther. They’re good friends but, it’s dangerous becaaause you gotta watch out, the tiger and the snake. Now the reason is they don’t mind him but he’s human and he can make fire, they can’t. That’s why he’s sorta in demand even though they conquered the power of speech they can’t make fire. And then, the orangutan gets in. Now, he’s in trouble. But the bear puts coconuts on and makes himself look like it, then they fall off. They gotta get away, but then he mets, like, a girl and it’s… their not, you know.'' - 9/5
''Go. Right, the little kid, he’s in the jungle, right, but he knows the bear and the panther – they’re good friends. BUT – it’s dangerous, because you gotta watch out for the tiger and the snake. Now the reason is, they don’t mind him, but he’s human and he can make fire, they can’t. That’s why he’s, sort of, in demand, even though they’ve conquered the power of speech they can’t make fire BUT – and then, the orang-utan gets him. Now, he’s in trouble. But the bear puts coconuts on, and makes himself look like it then they fall off. They’ve gotta get away, but then he meets, like, a- a- a girl, and it’s, and then they’re not, y’know…'' - 9/5
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During the next song (The Smiths - Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me) Ricky interrupts, saying ''I forgot about the elephants'' to which Steve replied ''Oh well that’s gonna ruin it for everyone, they won’t understand what you are talking about.''
== Rainman ==
== Rainman ==
[[Image:rainman.gif|100px|left]]
[[Image:rainman.gif|100px|left]]
From [[17 November 2001]]:<br>
From [[17 November 2001]]:<br>
''So... Ok. Right. Rain Man, it's got... Tom Cruise in it. And he's alright, he's normal, but he finds out he's got a brother who's a bit mad, Dustin Hoffman is doing it, right, and it’s meant to be, he's all weird but he's meant to be, so it's good acting. Now, he - oh, God - he needs to keep his brother, but they don't want him to have a brother, and ... he doesn't remember a lot, but he dropped him in the bath and burned him when he was little, clumsy idiot. But then he finds out he can make a bit of money so they get the same suits, and they go "Bet 2 for good, 1 --" because he's got special powers, so he can know what the, what the roulette. And he wins that, and he drops them toothpicks, he he knows how many there are, and he recognises the waitress he saw through the book. He's got all his football cards, don't put them out of order, don't go in the telephone box with him he smells, and get him back in time for Jeopardy or watch it. Anyway, then he'll slap his head and get worried, Quantas don't crash, so he's got a … all that, and in the end he doesn't, I don't think, but they'll … at least they've met each other.'' - 9/10
''Exactly! So, okay… right. Rain Man, it’s got… Tom Cruise in it, and he’s alright, he’s normal, but he finds out he’s got a brother who’s a bit mad Dustin Hoffman is doing it, right? And he’s meant to be- he’s all weird but he’s meant to be, so it’s good acting. Now, he oh, God he needs to keep his brother but they don’t want him to have a brother and he doesn’t remember a lot but he dropped him in the bath and burnt him when he was little clumsy ''idiot''. But then he finds out he can make a bit of money so they get the same suits, and they go bet two for good, one- 'cause he’s got ''special powers''. So he can know what the- where the- roulette. He wins that, and he drops some toothpicks he knows how many there are. AND he recognises the waitress [mumbles] through the book. He’s got all his football cards, don’t put ‘em out of order, don’t go into a telephone box with him he smells, and get him back in time for Jeopardy or watch it. Anyway, then they slap his head and get worried, Qantas don’t crash, so he’s got [mumbles] all that, and in the end, he doesn’t, I don’t think, but they were- at least they’ve met each other.'' - 9/10
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== My Left Foot ==
== My Left Foot ==
[[Image:myleftfoot.jpg||100px|left]]
[[Image:myleftfoot.jpg||100px|left]]
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''This is a film by Steven Spielberg. And, it, ‘cause it’s in olden times, it’s all black and white and that, except a, a coat that’s red.  I don’t know what happened there.  Um, anyway, it’s about a, a bloke, who’s called Schindler, and, ‘cause there were so many people he wanted to save, he had to make a list.  To get organised.  And, uh, he tried to save as many as he could.  Um … and, you know, they made him sort of, not make the bullets properly on purpose, ‘cause he, you know,  uhhhh…. and, uh, in the end, they gave him a ring, um, it’s the same bloke who made ET.'' - 9/10
''This is a film by Steven Spielberg. And, it, ‘cause it’s in olden times, it’s all black and white and that, except a, a coat that’s red.  I don’t know what happened there.  Um, anyway, it’s about a, a bloke, who’s called Schindler, and, ‘cause there were so many people he wanted to save, he had to make a list.  To get organised.  And, uh, he tried to save as many as he could.  Um … and, you know, they made him sort of, not make the bullets properly on purpose, ‘cause he, you know,  uhhhh…. and, uh, in the end, they gave him a ring, um, it’s the same bloke who made ET.'' - 9/10
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== Lord of the Rings ==
== [[Lord Of The Rings]] ==
[[Image:lord.jpg|100px|left]]
[[Image:lord.jpg|100px|left]]
From [[08 December 2001]]:<br>
From [[08 December 2001]]:<br>

Latest revision as of 12:37, 16 November 2009

Ricky's Film Review was a feature on Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant's Xfm radio show in which Gervais would incompetently "review" a film. Ricky's "reviews" would usually consist of him solely describing the plot in a childish way, missing out major plot points in the film and instead focusing on the least important part. The films that were reviewed were always years old, and Ricky would ask directors to pay to him for a good review. However, despite Ricky's threatening to give a bad review for if he didn't get paid, he always gave films 9s. On 15 December 2001 Ricky ended his film review because he rated all the films he could give 9 or 10s and he did not want to "drop his standards". He gave Braveheart 2 a 9 in advance as his final review.

The Jungle Book

From 10 November 2001:
Go. Right, the little kid, he’s in the jungle, right, but he knows the bear and the panther – they’re good friends. BUT – it’s dangerous, because you gotta watch out for the tiger and the snake. Now the reason is, they don’t mind him, but he’s human and he can make fire, they can’t. That’s why he’s, sort of, in demand, even though they’ve conquered the power of speech they can’t make fire BUT – and then, the orang-utan gets him. Now, he’s in trouble. But the bear puts coconuts on, and makes himself look like it then they fall off. They’ve gotta get away, but then he meets, like, a- a- a girl, and it’s, and then they’re not, y’know… - 9/5

During the next song (The Smiths - Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me) Ricky interrupts, saying I forgot about the elephants to which Steve replied Oh well that’s gonna ruin it for everyone, they won’t understand what you are talking about.

Rainman

From 17 November 2001:
Exactly! So, okay… right. Rain Man, it’s got… Tom Cruise in it, and he’s alright, he’s normal, but he finds out he’s got a brother who’s a bit mad – Dustin Hoffman is doing it, right? And he’s meant to be- he’s all weird but he’s meant to be, so it’s good acting. Now, he – oh, God – he needs to keep his brother but they don’t want him to have a brother and he doesn’t remember a lot but he dropped him in the bath and burnt him when he was little – clumsy idiot. But then he finds out he can make a bit of money so they get the same suits, and they go bet two for good, one- 'cause he’s got special powers. So he can know what the- where the- roulette. He wins that, and he drops some toothpicks – he knows how many there are. AND he recognises the waitress [mumbles] through the book. He’s got all his football cards, don’t put ‘em out of order, don’t go into a telephone box with him – he smells, and get him back in time for Jeopardy or watch it. Anyway, then they slap his head and get worried, Qantas don’t crash, so he’s got [mumbles] all that, and in the end, he doesn’t, I don’t think, but they were- at least they’ve met each other. - 9/10

My Left Foot

From 01 December 2001:
This week, I've chosen "My Left Foot", ok. Now, "My Left Foot" is a film about a bloke called Daniel Day-Lewis, who's all mental, except for his left foot, right, but, and he has arguments - I can't remember it - he has an argument with his Dad or something, I can't remember, I wasn't watching it properly, but, even though he's mental apart from the foot, he does stuff with the foot, that we can do all over, he uses that to his best, I think he might write a book or something, or paint. And the moral of this story is, you know, even if you've only got a foot that works, you can still win prizes, 'cos it won the Oscar. - 9/10

Schindler's List

From 08 December 2001:
This is a film by Steven Spielberg. And, it, ‘cause it’s in olden times, it’s all black and white and that, except a, a coat that’s red. I don’t know what happened there. Um, anyway, it’s about a, a bloke, who’s called Schindler, and, ‘cause there were so many people he wanted to save, he had to make a list. To get organised. And, uh, he tried to save as many as he could. Um … and, you know, they made him sort of, not make the bullets properly on purpose, ‘cause he, you know, uhhhh…. and, uh, in the end, they gave him a ring, um, it’s the same bloke who made ET. - 9/10

Lord Of The Rings

From 08 December 2001:
This is a brilliant film, and even though it’s all about wizards and that and there’s people in caves called Gonads. Um, with beards. Probably Robbie Coltrane’s in it, cuz he’s in the other one at the moment. Um, and there’s, it’s all swords and stuff. And there’s some magic. Uh- but he’s actually uh the lord of the rings. It’s like- there’s just one of them, he’s the lord of it. And he’s, he’s excellent in it. - 9/10