Dictionary of Karl Pilkington

Karl has a unique way of speaking. Karl's idiolect is made up of old-fashioned sayings, Mancunian slang, and correct English that has been misspoken. Below are examples of Karl's one-of-a-kind speech.

A

• Annoyed - One of the very few feelings Karl identifies
• aphrodite: hermaphrodite

B

• Baba - Babylon: Evertonians are from Everton, so Babylonians are from Baba.
• badder - worse: then it got a bit badder.
• Blokage - Manliness, Signs that one is a man: "When meeting a tranny, you should look for signs of blokage"
• bom boms - bon bons.
• Boswell - Roswell (New Mexico)
• bungled in - bundled in: I don't wanna be bungled in
• Bung on - Put on: "I'll bung a song on then"
• boo-boo - pooh-pooh: You've boo-boo'd the idea of..
• bum tube - colonic irrigation: No bum tubes though.
• bozwollocks - boswellox: not a good name for an ingredient like sodium

C

• clackering: A bad beating - Leroy gave us a right good clackerin'.
• condensity: Consistency - Tic Tacs have a similar condensity to kitty litter
• crop/croppage - crops: too much fruit about, so just crop
• cropping - ploughing fields: who's gonna do the cropping?

D

• demmicky - not proper: the thing is, right, if you have a lot of something, you also have a lot of demick ones, don't you...
• drawned - drawn: you're more drawned to things that keep your eyes interested

E

• effin' 'n' jeffin' - swearing: me brother was effin' 'n' jeffin' all the time
• Egypt bloke - Egyptian

F

• Face rub - Facial: "...just a posh face wash"
• flumpf - rubbish / superficial: They want some- some, sort of - flumpf telly, that they don't have to think about.
• foodage - food
• Forrest Gump - disabled person: me dad put a Forrest Gump in a wheelie bin
• frightenedness - fear: he had a look of frightendness on his face
• fuckerage - problems: it's added to the fuckerage.

G

• glunge - wet muck / filth: I was up to my shoulder Steve, in like- glunge
• gozzin' - spitting: the octopus was gozzin' about everywhere
• Greenness - Primitive life form. "In the beginning, air created the greenness"
• grippage - grip: there's a lot of grippage on the side of the building

H

• havin' it away - sexual intercourse: we were on holiday, and we were havin' it away an' that...

K

• knockin' about - around, in the area: turned out.. a monkey was knockin' about
• kusabi - wasabi: I'm serving some right rubbish tonight, give 'em some of that kusabi
• Kidded - Tricked: "It's like your brain is being kidded"

L

• learned - taught: I'll learn you something there
• limsy - cross between limp and flimsy
• little fella - see Forrest Gump
• little gay fella - homosexual male: there was this little gay fella...

M

• Miminalistic - minimalistic: A coupla years back, people went miminalistic
• Molish - A characteristic of people who live underground
• Moly - Covered in moles: "Auntie Nora's back is moly"
• Moped over - slumped, slouched: moped over in a wheelchair
• Mongs - Mongoloid (plural)
• Mongs - Mongooses (plural)

O

• Otherness - Other, more evolved forms of life than greenness. "From the greenness came otherness"
• our kid - brother or sister
• Oven - Karls excuse to prove Suzanne wrong, as he had to pay an £80 call out charge for a broken fuse, which he could have easily fixed. Suzanne: Karl, call someone out. Karl: Oven

P

• palaco - alpaca: It doesn't want to be somewhere else. It's where it was. And that's the same with this palaco, or whatever.
• Papa People - natives of Papua New Guinea: these Papa People, right...
• Pikelet - A thin crumpet
• plunge things - ear plugs
• probleming - troubling, causing problems: Whilst I'm sat here [my legs] are not probleming me

R

• remembered - reminded: now that you've remembered me that...
• replemishing - replenishing: I needed to replemish 'cos I was so tired
• rum 'un - rough, ne'er-d'well: she was a rum 'un
• rummanging - rummaging: he started rummanging
• Ricky - Ricky Gervais, the man who introduced Karl to the world, his show he produced on XFM

S

• squoze - (to squeeze) past tense: he came in at one o'clock and squoze it then!
• scruffily - in a scruffy, disorganized manner
• slugage - slug
• Stressed out - One of the few feelings Karl can identify
• stylish way - new style of writing in which the pages are all out of order
• Suzanne - Karl's Girlfriend

T

• tenseness - tension: you've got a lot of tenseness there
• ting - to rattle or bounce in a metallic fashion: you could hear one tingin' its way up the tube
• tink - to knock glasses together
• thetht - Theft, robbin'
• Thump - To hit, to punch
• Tight - Mean, cruel.
• Tubberware - tupperware: yeah, the plastic boxes
• Testerone - Testosterone: The male sex hormone

U

• uncomfy: uncomfortable.
• uppered - promoted: they get sort of... what's the word... sort of uppered too early
• Ugerly - Ugly. "I heard we're all gonna go ugerly."

W

• webbage - web: "...floating around on a bit of webbage"
• wewe - an old female ghost with drooping breasts: I said she might end up becoming a wewe.
• What's-her-name: When Karl can't find the right word he says this, whether it's a woman, man, place, event etc. "I went to what's-her-name.. barley street"
• whop - (to whop), to remove from covering: she whopped 'em out and he started suckin' on 'em an' that
• willy-nillily - carefree: but you just said it willy-nillily
• World - The Earth - "The Earth is our world; Its the World"
• worry hole - the part of the brain that casts doubt: Everyone's got to fill that worry hole with worried.
• wroted - written: someone had wroted - uh!

X

• XFM - the radio station Karl was dicovered on