07 June 2003
NB: The version of this episode which is 57:55 in length has a gap from 43:10 to 43:29 of silence and a couple misplaced audio bits.
|For a complete transcript of this episode see 07 June 2003/Transcript|
1. Everyone's Got An Idea In Their Head (0:00:00)
Steve won't hear a bad word said about The Boss. Danni Minogue's medley. Karl has a feature idea where the boys have to describe what each other looks like. A bit of Karl vs. Steve and Ricky is a slightly deflated Johnny Vegas.
2. Apparently Bruce Is An Armpit Freak (0:05:16)
Karl's done some research on hankies signifying "stuff that gays are into" based on color and placement. Ricky's inquisitive about how Karl maintained arousal in Tenerife whilst being spoken to by a Spanish fireman. Steve questions which appendage Karl uses to press the button for the upcoming song.
Steve recounts how Rufus overheard a conversation between two gay men. Karl knows a lot of gay people and they change partners often. Gays Go Out Too Late. A listener clarifies that Bruce Springsteen had a red baseball cap in his pocket, not a hanky. Would Karl cuddle Bruce? Karl is jealous about Ricky's other friend with a bald head. Not much going on in the monkey world, perhaps because they've found out they're getting coverage.
4. Sleight of Hand Linguistically (0:16:08)
An American listener named Karen. Karl wonders about a Ronan Keating song and thinks if it were his last day, he wouldn't be up for doing much. Ricky would want to never know when he is going to die. Karl is confused. Karl's balls feel like wet chamois leather. Karl never goes to the doctor. The kid at Ricky's school who wants "to die of old age in his mother's arms". If Steve had one day to live, he'd play a real-life version of Grand Theft Auto. Ricky suggests Karl could watch the show 24. Karl and Suzanne are taking his parents away to Cornwall next week. Karl's Dad steals from phone boxes and shoe stores.
5. Ooooooooh, Rockbusters! (0:23:35)
6. Xfm: Where Paths Cross (0:27:28)
Ricky and Steve are friends by now. Someone's made a chicken with teeth. Karl doesn't think cloning sheep is very clever. You can have your testicles made bigger.
7. I Hear They're Gonna Have a Bath (0:34:09)
Someone's emailed in more info on the chicken with teeth. Cheeky Freak of the Week is/are Chang and Eng from 1829. Steve's thoughts on supermarket conveyor belt dividers and nervous bus exiters.
8. Get It Done Right the First Time (0:44:11)
Karl's annoyed by the concept of having sex all night. Is that why he's called Sting? Did the fireman have a mustache?
9. The Crappest Quiz on Radio (0:46:05)
Rockbusters answers, and Ricky makes Karl repeat the first two a few times. Steve wanted to give the prize to Daniel Jowett, but he got it wrong.
10. That Mammal That's Got the Pointiest Eyes (0:49:03)
Monkey News Extra: Karl's got some info about a monkey in Asia with the biggest "goggle-eyes type thing", protruding 1.6 centimeters from the head, which reminds him of Steve. Ricky and Ash Atalla and Steve and Lucy Davis playing pool. Proper Monkey News is about another monkey that's got married.
11. We Avoided Saying Erection for Two Hours (0:55:40)
What does Karl think they've added to the world in today's show? Karl recaps and Ricky and Steve take the mick about the Tenerife fireman again.
That fella likes sucking on iron. M.
The Jamaican fella spots a boat. D.
Do you want a game of Tug-o-War? It's up to you, you own it. E.
Ricky: Who's your favourite, out of Chang and Eng?
Karl: They both look the same, to be honest.
Karl: What's 1.6?
Steve: Drop your trousers.
Bruce Springsteen - Thunder Road
The Verve - Lucky Man
The Flaming Lips - The Fight Test
Blur - Out of Time
Elton John - Saturday Night's Alright (for Fighting)
The White Stripes - I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself
Red Hot Chili Peppers - Universally Speaking
Teenage Fan Club - Radio
REM - Nightswimming
Radiohead - There There
Mott the Hoople - Roll Away the Stone
Oasis - Little by Little
Aimee Mann - Driving With One Hand On the Wheel
|Series 0 | Series 1 | Series 2 | Series 3 | Series 4|
|Presenters||Ricky Gervais | Stephen Merchant | Karl Pilkington|
|Others||Claire Sturgess | Ian Camfield | Simon Pegg | Nick Frost|
|Features|| Monkey News | Rockbusters | Song For The Ladies | Song For The Lovers |
Hip-Hop Hooray | Cheap as Chimps | White Van Karl | Songs of Phrase
Cheeky Freak of the Week | Do We Need 'Em? | More...
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