Series 3 Episode 2
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Podcast Series 3
In this episode, Karl talks about his trip to the hospital for his kidney stones. He also tries to interpret fables, complains about animals that don’t use their powers and reads another poem he's written.
1. Old Cold Belly Badness (00:00)
Karl was rushed to the hospital and had a tube put up his knob because of kidney stones in the week. He feels he shouldn’t be there; he should be resting at home. Karl relates the story, he felt a pain in his belly and he put a cold ashtray on it to soothe it. Then Suzanne took him to the hospital. The stone was too big to pass so they put a tube up his knob to get it out. Ricky came to visit and laughed at him because he was only wearing his pants and stockings. Karl said he was wearing the stockings to stop clots. After that he was rushed out for the procedure.
2. Stick Insects (08:34)
Karl thinks it’s amazing that he’s come from seeing a bee dying to now having this hospital experience. He doesn’t like that he knows more about his body now. The hospital stressed him out, and he has to go back again to get the stone blasted. While in hospital he was thinking about the closest thing that is living to nothing. He thinks a stick insect had a crossover from a stick to a living thing. Ricky and Steve then do a roleplay about a stick insect mistakenly trying to chat up a stick.
3. Webbage (13:37)
Karl has been reading about a spider with big legs it doesn’t use, it just floats around on some “webbage.” He can’t get his head around the weirdness of it. He wonders again if insects have it better than us because they don’t go into hospital. Karl has moved on from insects to birds in the week; he noticed that pigeons have wings but they walk a lot. It annoys Karl that they aren’t using their power.
4. 7 Foot Long Goldfish (18:03)
A question is posed by Karl, if everything is the same size as us, what would do better, a tarantula or a tiger? Karl brings up a story about a woman who put a goldfish in a bath, went on holiday, and when she got back it was 7 feet long. Karl’s defense when Ricky and Steve question it is that fish are weird, innit. Karl wouldn’t want to live in the sea because you’ve “got an enemy around every rock.”
5. Karl’s Fables (21:31)
Ricky asks Karl what advice he would give to a two week old octopus. He would tell it to stay close to the rocks and let it know it can get into a small space. Then he would squash it to prove it. Karl wonders how animals know what to do. He then brings up the fable of the frog and the scorpion and the lizards and scorpions that hatched a plan to work together. Ricky insists that the lizard and scorpion are in a symbiotic relationship and at no point did they formulate a plan. Karl tries to tell his own example of the frog and scorpion fable where he left a shop to avoid a crazy woman who was buying a yorkie and some earbuds. He forgets what his point was in the end.
6. Karl’s Diary (28:45)
Steve reads another entry from Karl’s diary. He’s rushing through brown sauce because it doesn’t fit in the kitchen. A wasp got in and Karl tried to take a picture of it. They put more wallpaper on the mirrored wall in their flat. Karl learned about where the word potluck came from. His washer is broken and he saw a programme about Siamese twins.
7. Farewell (33:21)
Ricky says goodbye.
- Bubbled wallpaper, what a mess.
- Washer dryer knackered, what a mess.
- Siamese twins separated, one leg less.
Karl: And the coldness used to get rid of the badness.
Ricky: Old cold belly badness.
Karl: But at some point something has had it away with a leaf.
Karl: It goes around, floating in the air on a bit of webbage.
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