Songs of Phrase
Originally called Crosswords, but renamed Songs of Phrase after a listener's suggestion, this was a competition in which Karl would take what he said was a "popular phrase" from the show (but was usually something that was said only once) and form it by splicing together bits of various songs. Listeners had to identify each of the artists used in the phrase. It was one of the harder competitions, and often people would win without getting all the answers.
It was played during Xfm Series 2 when Ricky and Steve had gotten sick of Rockbusters. It ran for a few weeks but Rockbusters couldn't be kept away.
The feature was most often viewed with great distain by Ricky and Steve for being too complicated, using obscure songs/artists (e.g. Lisa Stansfield's 'In All The Right Places') or for the phrases not actually making grammatical sense; the nadir being 'Galileo, don't talk to me about science. Please make me television.'
Perhaps the most memorable edition of Songs of Phrase was the time Karl couldn't find a song with "Twix" in it to complete one of his most famous observations, so he had to substitute it with "Mars Bar". Another edition (namely the phrase which detailed Karl's theory on the Chinese aging process) saw Ricky declare the feature 'the most convuluted, ridiculous, racist piece of material ever to be uttered on radio.'
History
Below is a complete list of the phrases used:
1. "There's this hairy Chinese kid." 15 March 2003
Songs Used:
The La's - "There She Goes" (There's)
The Strokes - "Is This It" (this)
George Harrison - "My Sweet Lord" (hairy (actually 'Hare'))
Phillip Bailey - "Chinese Wall" (chinese)
Deacon Blue - "Real Gone Kid" (kid.)
2. "And you never see an old man eat a Mars Bar-bar-bar." 22 March 2003
Songs Used:
Gerry & The Pacemakers - "You'll Never Walk Alone" (And you'll never)
Echo & The Bunnymen - "Seven Seas" (see (actually 'sea'))
Jim Croce - "Ol' Man River" (an old man)
The Jam - "Eton Rifles" (eat a (actually 'eton'))
David Bowie - "Life On Mars?" (Mars)
The Beach Boys - "Barbara Ann" (Bar-bar-bar.)
3. "M-m-m-my Auntie had wind for five minutes." 29 March 2003
Songs Used:
The Knack - "My Sharona" (M-m-m-my)
Mansun - "Anti Everything" (Auntie (actually 'anti'))
Bill Medley & Jennifer Warnes - "I've Had The Time Of My Life" (had)
Bob Dylan - "Blowin' In The Wind" (wind)
Tom Robinson - "2 4 6 8 Motorway" (for)
Manfred Mann - "5 4 3 2 1" (five)
Five Star - "Can't Wait Another Minute" (minutes.)
4. "My neighbour had a horse in a house." 05 April 2003
Songs Used:
Lionel Ritchie - "My Destiny" (My)
Space - "Neighbourhood" (neighbour)
Harry Connick Jr. - "It Had To Be You" (had)
America - "A Horse With No Name" (a horse)
Lisa Stansfield - "In All The Right Places" (in)
The Animals - "House Of The Rising Run" (a house.)
5. "The Elephant Man is my favourite film." 12 April 2003
Songs Used:
Eels - "Mr. E's Beautiful Blues" ("The Elephant)
Billy Joel - "Innocent Man" (Man")
Queen - "Bohemian Rhapsody" (is)
Owen Paul - "My Favourite Waste Of Time" (my favourite)
Duran Duran - "Girls On Film" (film.)
6. "No more Cheeky Freak Of The Week." 12 July 2003
Songs Used:
Paul McCartney - "No More Lonely Nights" (No more)
The Cheeky Girls - "The Cheeky Song" (cheeky)
Sugababes - "Freak Like Me" (freak)
Space - "Female Of The Species" (of the)
The Beatles - "Eight Days A Week" (week.)
7. "Daddy never gonna stop robbin' from telephone box." 19 July 2003
Songs Used:
Boney M - "Daddy Cool" (Daddy)
Rick Astley - "Never Gonna Give You Up" (never gonna)
Sam Brown - "Stop" (stop)
Simon & Garfunkel - "Mrs Robinson" (robbin' (actually 'Robin'))
Matt Monro - "From Russia With Love" (from)
Blondie - "Hangin' On The Telephone" (telephone)
Living In A Box - "Living In A Box" (box.)
8. "Tell me why, tell me why, tell me why don't they play the game of swingball?" 26 July 2003
Songs Used:
The Specials - "Why?" (Tell me why, tell me why, tell me why)
Jermaine Jackson - "Do What You Do" (don't they)
Wayne Fontana & The Mindbenders - "Play The Game Of Love" (play the game of)
Louis Armstrong - "It Don't Mean A Thing (If It Ain't Got That Swing)" (swing)
Queen - "Don't Stop Me Now" (ball.)
9. "I know you're just 16, but looking all of 21. That's because Chinese look older." 02 August 2003
Songs Used:
Waterfront - "Cry" (I know you're just 16, but looking all of 21.) Mistakenly referred to as 'Hue & Cry' by Karl.
Dean Martin - "That's Amore" (That's)
Jane's Addiction - "Just Because" (because)
Phillip Bailey - "Chinese Wall" (the Chinese)
Roxette - "The Look" (look)
George Michael - "Older" (older.)
10. "Galileo, don't talk to me about science. Please make me television." 09 August 2003
Songs Used:
Queen - "Bohemian Rhapsody" (Galileo,)
Altered Images - "Don't Talk To Me About Love" (don't talk to me about)
Thomas Dolby - "She Blinded Me With Science" (science.)
The Beatles - "Love Me Do" - (Please)
Aretha Franklin - "(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman" (make me)
Red Hot Chili Peppers - "Throw Away Your Television" (television.)
11. "My girlfriend had a problem with her marrow." 06 December 2003
Songs Used:
Frank Sinatra - "My Way" (My)
Prince - "If I Was Your Girlfriend" (girlfriend)
Bill Medley & Jennifer Warnes - "I've Had The Time Of My Life" (had)
Dub Pistols - "Problem Is" (a problem)
U2 - "With Or Without You" (with)
The Beatles - "And I Love Her" (her)
The Shirelles - "Will You Love Me Tomorrow" (marrow. (Actually 'morrow'.))