The Ricky Gervais Guide To... The World Cup
The Ricky Gervais Guide To...
The Ricky Gervais Guide To ...The World Cup is a special bonus of the Guide To... series and was released on the 12th of June. Enjoy 45 minutes of Ricky, Steve and Karl very loosely discussing the international sporting event, free of charge
1. He Knows I'm Not Gonna Jump On Him (0:00:00)
Karl's teeth know when he's stressed out and he tells of when he was abducted in Israel. Ricky and Steve discuss the best way to watch the football together on a bed whilst not looking gay.
2. Get On With It (0:10:53)
Many football players are endorsing products around this time, Peter Crouch is advertising Pringles. Too much punditry before and after football games. Steve discusses his commercial with Warwick Davis and Ricky and how it came on when he was in a pub, but no one took any notice. More talk of Rick & Steve trying to avoid being caught looking/reading about themselves. Karl feels he hasn't done anything of worth.
3. Fuckin' Slow Down (0:17:42)
Ricky uses an app on his iPad to virtually verbalise obscenities towards Karl. Maradona's handball in the '86 world cup brings up the topic of cheating. Karl's dad used to cheat at monopoly by nicking the money. Karl noticed the pub didn't fully charge him for a meal and a cup of tea so he went back the next day to pay, but he didn't tell them about the cup of tea. Ricky wanted to play football at school but missed the trials by a day, the next year he went to the trials and feigned breathlessness whenever he went by the coach. The coach thought he had asthma so he didn't make the team. Karl's PE teacher wore tight clothing and you could see his package. Karl was caught swearing on the relay team. Karl reminisces how he trained track & field athlete Darren Campbell by sitting on his ass in a go-kart while he pushed. While watching the telly Ricky has observed that a footballer will either gob or swear every 10 seconds. Karl was sat in his garden 'just slathering' to see if it ever ran out. Chinese people gozz a lot and Steve can't gob like a footballer.
4. Come On The Place Is Mad Deep With Taliban (0:31:41)
Steve brings up the feeble 'come on England' chant he sometimes hears in football matches. The usefulness of marching bands in battles is questioned. Karl doesn't believe people carried trumpets to keep the soliders in line during a battle.
5. Take This Kidney Out And Bin It (0:35:20)
George Best had a liver transplant but messed around with his new one. Hypothetical scenario with Ricky posing as a little kid asking Karl for a kidney. Ricky would give Steve a kidney, but would want it back. Karl would give his previously kidney stoned kidney to Suzanne because she didn't believe it was hurting. Karl's worried about all the immunisations he's had.
6. Well That's About It (0:43:15)
The ending of the show, Ricky shamelessly plugs a myriad of things.
I thought it was hilarious and go Brazil byt he way. -CHris Healy
Ricky: In fact, if you're listening to this now, England are probably out of the fucking World Cup.
Woman at a club: Are you Peter Crouch?
Karl: I am stressed but I don't know about it.
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