View source for 14 December 2002/transcript

{{Action|Song: Eminem - Lose Yourself}}
{{Ricky|Eminem, Lose Yourself on Xfm 104.9. I'm Ricky Gervais, with me Steve Merchant.}}
{{Steve|Hello there.}}
{{Ricky|But not Karl Pilkington.}}
{{Steve|No Karl. No. No.}}
{{Ricky|He's gone back to Manchester innit?}}
{{Act:Steve|Steve laughs}}
{{Ricky|It's better than London.}}
{{Steve|Yeah.}}
{{Ricky|You don't know it. You don't know it. Manchester's better than London. Instead, Claire Sturgess.}}
{{Other|Claire|Yeah.}}
{{Steve|Claire Sturgess, a round of applause for Claire.}}
{{Other|Claire|Yeah. }}
{{Ricky|Yeah.}}
{{Other|Claire|Yeah, thanks.}}
{{Steve|Yeah.}}
{{Other|Claire|Thanks, yeah, thanks.}}
{{Other|Claire|I will-}}
{{Steve|Come down in sort of the camouflage gear I notice. Is that quite trendy? Is that what the kids are wearing?}}
{{Other|Claire|Yeah, do you know, it's funny}}
{{Act:Other|Claire laughs}}
{{Other|Claire|Someone actually mentioned that this morning-}}
{{Ricky|Or are you on maneuvers?}}
{{Act:Steve|Steve laughs}}
{{Steve|Yeah.}}
{{Other|Claire|I am.}}
{{Steve|Exactly.}}
{{Other|Claire|I am actually.}}
{{Ricky|Yeah.}}
{{Other|Claire|Taking time out.}}
{{Ricky|Yeah.}}
{{Other|Claire|This morning. From what I normally do.}}
{{Steve|Sure.}}
{{Ricky|I missed the, er, second half - talking about that - of Celebrity, erm, Bootcamp.}}
{{Steve|I don't know what that is.}}
{{Ricky|Coolio.}}
{{Steve|Is it?}}
{{Ricky|The fella from, um, Milli Vanilli}}
{{Steve|What, the one that's not dead?}}
{{Other|Claire|Eh?}}
{{Ricky|Uh no, the one that killed himself, Steve.}}
{{Steve|Sure}}
{{Act:Other|Claire laughs}}
{{Ricky|Um...}}
{{Steve|No, I just wanted to clarify for people. A lot of people don't realise that one of them is dead.}}
{{Ricky|Right.}}
{{Act:Steve|Steve laughs}}
{{Steve|I thought it was important to mention it.}}
{{Other|Claire|Actually, d'you know, I didn't know}}
{{Steve|I'll be honest with you, I hadn't thought it through.}}
{{Ricky|No.}}
{{Steve|It was a piece of interesting Milli Vanilli trivia that I had, and I wanted to slip it in.}}
{{Ricky|But what wasn't really trivia-}}
{{Steve|But I tell you-}}
{{Ricky|It was a question. You could've went "what", the one who's not dead.}}
{{Steve|What I'm trying to say Rick is, I could've found a more tactful way of bringing up the death of one of Milli Vanilli.}}
{{Ricky|Yeah.}}
{{Steve|'Cause I think there are a lot of people out there now upset. Maybe, didn't realise.}}
{{Ricky|Actually, yeah. People who didn't know...}}
{{Steve|It's quite a shock. I didn't...I mean I should've sat people down-}}
{{Ricky|Who did...who died? Vanilli or Milli?}}
{{Steve|I think it was...I think it was Milli}}
{{Ricky|Oh right, okay.}}
{{Other|Claire|No it was Vanilli, wasn't it?}}
{{Steve|I don't know, erm...}}
{{Other|Claire|No but I don't know, I didn't actually...}}
{{Ricky|Oh that is-
{{Other|Claire|I'm guessing.}}
{{Steve|But wait a minute I've always confused Milli Vanilli with Scritti Politti, I-}}
{{Act:Ricky|Ricky laughs}}
{{Steve|'Cause I mean, that is a danger.}}
{{Ricky|Oh, no, you're thinking of the fella out of Grumple Palumple.}}
{{Act:Steve|Steve laughs}}
{{Act:Other|Claire laughs}}
{{Ricky|Because he was amazing.}}
{{Steve|He was amazing, it's-it's a great shame that he-}}
{{Ricky|Topped himself, before, not around-}}
{{Act:Steve|Steve laughs}}
{{Ricky|Anyway, um, cor we've got some great tunes lined up. We're gonna play, today, erm, th- our favourite singles-}}
{{Steve|Well it's-}}
{{Ricky|-Of the year.}}
{{Steve|-Favourite tunes. Things that didn't quite make it as tunes maybe. But tunes of the year, 'cause obviously Christmas very soon and, uh, we'll be away for a short time.
{{Ricky|I think next week we're doing our favourite Christmas songs of all time.}}
{{Steve|Yeah, I'm worried we're not going to fill two hours with that. I mean how many times can you play Shakin' Stevens before uh-}}
{{Act:Ricky|Ricky laughs}}
{{Ricky|Fairytale of New York.}}
{{Steve|Yeah, exactly.}}
{{Ricky|There it is again.}}
{{Steve|I mean that's really the only one isn't it?}}
{{Ricky|That's the best one. That's the best Christmas song ever.}}
{{Steve|That one's good, obviously there's Joni Mitchell's The River, that starts with a kind of Christmassy feel.}}
{{Ricky|Beautiful. Beautiful.}}
{{Steve|I'm trying to think if there's anything else. Not a great deal...}}
{{Ricky|Um.}}
{{Other|Claire|The Waitresses, Christmas Wrapping.}}
{{Ricky|Is that a good one?}}
{{Other|Claire|A favourite of mine.}}
{{Steve|Is that good?}}
{{Other|Claire|Yeah, yeah.}}
{{Ricky|So This is Christmas, John Lenon. Paul McCartney came out with Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time.}}
{{Act:Steve|Steve laughs}}
{{Steve|Christmas Time. {{Ricky|Yeah.}}
{{Yeah, exactly.}}
{{Ricky|Yeah, yeah.}}
{{Steve|But John's was Happy Christmas, War is Over.}}
{{Steve|Of course it wasn't, but uh, obviously-}}
{{Ricky|But I mean, at least he wanted it to be.}}
{{Steve|No at least he was dreaming of it, He was dreaming of it.}}
{{Ricky|Yeah.}}
{{Steve|I mean, god bless him.}}
{{Ricky|Yeah, and to show how much he hates war-}}
{{Steve|I- John Lennon's dead as well, I don't know if anyone's...}}
{{Ricky|Yeah, no, they're aware of that.}}
{{Steve|That's just another bit of rock and roll trivia.}}
{{Ricky|I like John's protest against war, he stayed in bed for a week.}}
{{Act:Steve|Steve laughs}}
{{Steve|Yeah.}}
{{Ricky|I'd have done that. If they'd been protesting against war I'd have been in bed for ages.}}
{{Act:Steve|Steve laughs}}
{{Ricky|I'm eating hamburgers, if there's war.}}
{{Steve|Absolutely.}}
{{Act:Steve|Steve laughs}}{{Ricky|Wh- I jus- I just came into Burger King, on the way here, I went into th-}}
{{Steve|I mean, of cours- let's not, not product placement there. There's a number of other burgers joint which people may wish to go to instead-}}
{{Ricky|I would go to McDonalds. I would go to McDonalds.}}
{{Steve|Exactly.}}
{{Ricky|But I went into Burger King, 'cause it's close.}}
{{Steve|It's convenient.}}
{{Ricky|And-}}
{{Steve|But then often McDonalds is more convenient.}}
{{Ricky|It was convenient but McDonalds can be just as convenient-}}
{{Act:Steve|Steve laughs}}
{{Steve|Yeah.}}
{{Ricky|-Depends where you are.}}
{{Steve|Just as convenient, depends where you are.}}
{{Ricky|Yeah, erm, and I said, er, what did I say, I said, um, "can I have...a...cheeseburger and small fries, takeaway please." And he recognised me, he went "oh I've seen you on telly." And I went "yeah." And he went "uh there's your milkshake", and I went "thanks." He wen- he winked and went "I've put large fries in."}}
{{Act:Together|Steve and Claire laugh}}
{{Steve|Brilliant.}}
{{Act:Steve|Steve laughs}}
{{Ricky|So that...}}
{{Steve|So, but I love that-}}
{{Ricky|So it's paying off at last, true genius is being rewarded-}}
{{Steve|But I'm just intrigued to know-}}
{{Ricky|-By these burger joints.}}
{{Steve|-'Cause, I mean, there's been a couple of times where I've been with you and, you know, we've gone in a restaurant and someone's given you a free meal or whatever.}}
{{Ricky|I know.}}
{{Steve|And it's the way it's like, you don't ask for it.}}
{{Ricky|No.}}
{{Steve|It's just kind of offered. But I don't know what they're expecting in return.}}
{{Ricky|Nothing.}}
{{Steve|I mean, do think that you'll go away and you'll always think fondly of you know-}}
{{Ricky|No.}}
{{Steve|-Chad, who works in Burger King.}}
{{Ricky|No I just thi- I just think they think, ooh, I don't know.}}
{{Steve|I'm gonna give him a little treat.}}
{{Ricky|Yeah. I know, I don't like it, but I'm always grateful and I never-}}
{{Steve|Yeah.}}
{{Ricky|-But the things is I- yeah, I'm slightly embarrassed but...}}
{{Steve|Did anyone run around you hear what had happened?}}
{{Ricky|No.}}
{{Steve|'Cause I imagine their resentment- just the whole room turned on you.}}
{{Ricky|No they didn't, I had to go around telling them.}}
{{Act:Steve|Steve laughs}}
{{Steve|I mean, yeah...yeah...}}
{{Ricky|I- I went up to someone and I said "excuse me, did you hear that? He just gave me the free thing, 'cause I'm on the telly."}}
{{Act:Steve|Steve laughs}}
{{Ricky|And they went "oh, I don't recognise you." And I went, "you don't recognise me?"}}
{{Steve|I'm terrified now that uh-}}
{{Act:Other|Claire laughs}}
{{Steve|-That someone could be listening at Burger King HQ, you know I'm assuming this is an unorthodox procedure.}}
{{Ricky|And that little fella's got fired.}}
{{Steve|We kn- They know it's Leicester Square now 'cause...I've just mentioned it. So they know which Burger King it is.}}
{{Act:Other|Claire laughs}}
{{Ricky|Oh my god. I don't know...}}
{{Steve|What was his name?}}
{{Ricky|Ralph Littleton.}}
{{Act:Together|Steve and Claire laugh}}
{{Steve|Yeah.}}
{{Ricky|He- he had a name badge, number 342.}}
{{Steve|Well I just hope Littleton doesn't get in trouble.}}
{{Ricky|So, uh, what are we gonna play first?}}
{{Steve|That's gonna be a sad Christmas for him.}}
{{Act:Ricky|Ricky laughs}}
{{Ricky|Yeah.}}
{{Steve|Probably keeping his whole family afloat.}}
{{Ricky|Um, bit of Springsteen.}}
{{Steve|Well, tunes of the year. Now I know a lot of people dismiss Springsteen, but, uh, as I say, the gig went to see earlier in the year, I mean it-}}
{{Ricky|Sturgess couldn't believe we were going to play Springsteen.}}
{{Steve|-Was quite brilliant. I just think, you know, leave aside what you think is cool and trendy, and the fact that he's older now-}}
{{Other|Claire|Really?}}
{{Steve|Yeah.}}
{{Other|Claire|Really?}}
{{Steve|Just leave all that behind-}}
{{Other|Claire|Yeah?}}
{{Steve|-And just listen to the tunes, because, you know, he remains a great musician.}}
{{Ricky|Lonesome Day?}}
{{Steve|Lonesome Day, the current single, the first track on the album.}}
{{Ricky|Free, free chips.}}
{{Act:Steve|Steve laughs}}
{{Steve|Absolutely.}}
{{Action|Song: Bruce Springsteen - Lonesome Day}}