Series 2 Episode 5

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Podcast Series 2 February 2006 - April 2006 List of episodes

Episodes: Series 2 Episode 1 - 27 February 2006 Series 2 Episode 2 - 7 March 2006 Series 2 Episode 3 - 16 March 2006 Series 2 Episode 4 - 21 March 2006 Series 2 Episode 5 - 28 March 2006 Series 2 Episode 6 - 4 April 2006

More animal facts from Ricky Gervais, Karl documents his holiday with Suzanne in his diary, and Steve asks another man to watch him swim in a speedo.

Track Listing

1. Karl and Freud (0:00)

Karl is supposed to share what he learned about Sigmund Freud, but he didn’t bother because it wasn’t interesting enough. He didn’t search for information about his theories or biography; instead he tried to find famous quotes. The only thing Karl learned from Freud is that you should drink milk all your life.

2. Flogging a Dead Horse (3:00)

Steve is shocked that Karl is allowed to vote, though Karl regrets voting because he got jury duty. Karl doesn’t think votes matter since they don’t change anything. Karl’s father is tired of hearing about global warming. Karl thinks the world is just getting old. Ricky asks Karl what he thinks the phrase “flogging a dead horse” means. Karl understands the phrase, but he thinks it matters what the horse has done to you.

3. Harry the Housefly (6:05)

Ricky has more animal facts for Karl; apparently sharks are immune to cancer and stroking a spider can cause its hair to fall out. Karl's Mam stroked a bee once and “it loved it.” They also had a pet fly called Harry the Housefly. Ricky and Steve question whether it was the same fly every day. Karl heard that a fly had bad eyesight and so they made glasses for it. Ricky translates the story; it was a demonstration of technology to show that they can make glasses so small they can fit on a fly. Karl prefers to believe they are making glasses for flies. Karl has heard about the use of hypnosis instead of anaesthesia for surgery. Karl doesn’t see the point since there’s nothing wrong with the injections.

4. Noah’s Ark (13:41)

Ricky and Karl heard a spurious fact about coconut milk being used as plasma. Karl believes it but Ricky and Steve do not. Ricky questions Karl about Noah’s Ark and the validity of getting two of every species on a boat. Karl thinks it is possible if they were near a zoo and all the animals pitched in to help.

5. Suzanne’s Birthday (18:47)

It’s time to read from Karl’s diary again. Karl took Suzanne to Cotswolds for her birthday; they walked around the carpark, Karl ate all the biscuits, and they went to a graveyard to see how old the dead people were. Someone emailed in to ask Karl how to keep a woman happy. Karl doesn’t think you should go out of your way to please her too much.

6. Swimming Steve (24:47)

Steve has been swimming more lately but hasn’t mastered the front crawl. At a local pool he saw a bloke who was really good at it. He told this bloke that he had been watching him and thought he was really good and he asked him to watch his stroke to give him advice. Ricky thinks this is a strange thing to say to a stranger. It was an awkward situation as Steve was wearing a speedo and prescription goggles.

7. Same Cook (26:08)

More Rockbusters, Karl gives answers for the previous week and tries to help Ricky and Steve work them out. Both Steve and Ricky are embarrassed by this quiz, but Karl still stubbornly refuses to do Monkey News.

Rockbusters

You know that bloke who sings songs at Christmas? He's brilliant at it. CK.
I told the homosexual man that the grape tree was mine. MG.
I ask you [Ricky Gervais] if you believe in Father Christmas. What would you say? S.

Quotes

Karl: Churchill, we’ll go on the beaches… an’ all that.

Karl: The best thing you can do is look out for yourself… get on with it.

Karl: Treat the world like a head.

Karl: I came up with a good idea.
Steve: We’ll be the judge of that.
Ricky: I’ll do it now; it’s not a good idea. I’m sticking my neck out here but I’m thinking this is not gonna be a good idea…
Karl: See through skin.
Steve: High five, Rick.

Steve: And in the end he did and all he asked was that I whack him off.

External Links

• Housefly gets glasses

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