16 November 2002

Xfm Series 2 August 2002 - August 2003 List of episodes

Episodes: 24 August 2002 (Transcript) 31 August 2002 (Transcript) 07 September 2002 (Transcript) 14 September 2002 (Transcript) ('Best of') 21 September 2002 (Transcript) 28 September 2002 (Transcript) 05 October 2002 (Transcript) 12 October 2002 (Transcript) 19 October 2002 (Transcript) 26 October 2002 (Transcript) 02 November 2002 (Transcript) 09 November 2002 (Transcript) 16 November 2002 (Transcript) 23 November 2002 (Transcript) 30 November 2002 (Transcript) 07 December 2002 (Transcript) 14 December 2002 (Transcript) 21 December 2002 (Transcript) 28 December 2002 (Transcript) ('Best of') 04 January 2003 (Transcript) 11 January 2003 (Transcript) 18 January 2003 (Transcript) 25 January 2003 (Transcript) 01 February 2003 (Transcript) 08 February 2003 (Transcript) 15 February 2003 (Transcript) 22 February 2003 (Transcript) ('Best of') 01 March 2003 (Transcript) ('Best of') 08 March 2003 (Transcript) 15 March 2003 (Transcript) 22 March 2003 (Transcript) 29 March 2003 (Transcript) 05 April 2003 (Transcript) 12 April 2003 (Transcript) 19 April 2003 (Transcript) 26 April 2003 (Transcript) 03 May 2003 (Transcript) 10 May 2003 (Transcript) 17 May 2003 (Transcript) 31 May 2003 (Transcript) 07 June 2003 (Transcript) 14 June 2003 (Transcript) 21 June 2003 (Transcript) 28 June 2003 05 July 2003 12 July 2003 19 July 2003 26 July 2003 02 August 2003 09 August 2003 16 August 2003

16 November 2002 features more Rockbusters, more Educating Ricky, and an Auntie Nora anecdote. Karl also reveals a school picture of himself to Ricky and Steve which can be seen on our FAQ.

Track Listing

For a partial transcript of this episode see 16 November 2002/Transcript.

1. Genius Karl Pilkington (0:00:00)

Ricky starts the show off, reporting that Heat magazine has called Karl a genius. Karl compares himself to Albert Einstein. Educating Ricky is on deck as well as Rockbusters, but there no messing around these week - the clues will be really hard. Karl tells about Auntie Nora putting valances around everything. She started putting them around the windows like normal, but then moved onto the coffee table, and the VCR. Ricky recalls the time Karl said she farted for five minutes and Karl elaborates.

2. You Can't Move for Soil (0:04:34)

Ricky talks about the corporate gig he had in Manchester and gives a little review of the city. Karl gets annoyed and starts breathing and making noises over Ricky. He explains why he likes Manchester. In London he cannot find soil anywhere, but if you need a latte you're in luck. Karl declares Rome the greatest city in the world because it has loads of old stuff. Ricky discusses remodeling Trafalgar Square into a hardware store. Karl begins discussing his hardware purchases and Ricky halts the conversation to play a record.

3. The Hat-He-Chewed (0:09:43)

Steve gives a bit of sex advice for all the young men out there involving Rik Waller. The trio discuss Celebrity Fat Club and Karl busts out the legendary "hat-he-chewed" pun. Ricky praises Karl's humour.

4. As Featured In (0:12:23)

Steve announces the Rockbuster prizes, mostly the usual tat and The Best Bands ever album, which includes songs featured in adverts. The arbitrary film prize this week is The Pelican Brief on VHS, from Steve's personal collection. Karl shows the one school picture he had taken that he found when cleaning his flat. Steve's wonders why his lips look so weird, which is apparently how Karl smiled. Ricky asks Karl about his youth, and the last time he wasn't stressed he was 14. Karl talks about how his mam used to cut his hair. Ricky recalls how depressing Sunday nights were. At the end of the link Ricky starts "doing a card trick" with Steve as they are faded out.

5. Five Minutes Mr Mus (0:20:29)

Steve does a quick link to bridge to Educating Ricky. On the return from the ad break, Ricky and Karl introduce the feature. This weeks headlines are - Albino Buying One of Them, Hippopotanuse, Chic-ken You Believe It? Ricky chooses Hippopotanuse, but has already heard it, though it still has him in stitches. Karl begins telling it to Steve anyway with Ricky adding in commentary. The story involves a midget fella who goes overboard on a trampoline at the circus and gets swallowed by a hippo. Karl believes it wholeheartedly but Ricky is skeptical as usual.

6. Rockbusters (0:26:17)

Rockbusters begins with Steve recapping the prizes. Upon hearing the word "pelican" Karl recalls an obscure fact which Ricky has to correct. Karl reads out the clues and says the first one is very difficult.

7. The Psychology of Keeping a Pet Without a Head (0:29:30)

Rockbusters responses are slow, so Karl has to recap them. Ricky selects a new headline for Educating Ricky, "Chic-ken You Believe It?" Ricky wonders if chicken you believe it is a certain picture he saw from his FHM freak book, but luckily it's not. Before Karl goes into the education, he recaps all the times they've discussed things without heads on the show, which is more than Ricky recalls. This headline is about a chicken named Mike who lived without a head for 18 months.

8. The Good Knowledge (0:37:20)

After a quick ad link, the show resumes with Ricky telling a story about Karl and him in a café. A woman had mistaken Ricky for Chris Moyles. Steve finds this appalling. E-mails for Rockbusters finally start trickling in and Karl recaps the clues once again for any stragglers. Before Karl begins the last official Educating Ricky, he throws in a bonus one about a bloke who's arm came off from messing about with a chainsaw. Ricky nearly flips out when Karl pretends he won't tell the ending. As it turns out a doctor reattached some arms to him but one started to sag and stretch out and went past his knees. A record is played before the actual Educating Ricky is told.

9. His Last Sticker (0:44:54)

Rockbusters results are read out. Ricky is unimpressed with "His-Last-Sticka" (Elastica) and "Miss Dinnermate" (Miss Dynamite) and declares the end of Rockbusters. Steve reads out the winner.

10. Demicky Elephants (0:47:32)

Karl has to continue to explain his bonus Educating Ricky fact, but gets back on track with the final one: "Albino Buying One of Them". The headline is about the origin of the phrase "White Elephant". Ricky is a bit confused because Karl phoned Ricky the previous night asking what the term "White Elephant" meant, somewhat thwarting the idea of educating him. Karl introduces the Northern slang "demicky" to Ricky and Steve when talking about defunct elephants. Ricky feels like he's lost something after hearing the explanation and does not know where to begin. Karl declares the show is over and Ricky asks if he'll get his act together for next week. Karl leaves it as a teaser for next week.

Quotes

Karl: Look at Einstein.
Ricky: Yeah.
Karl: His mom thought he was mental as a child.
Steve: Where'd you get that information from?
Karl: That was in the Einstein book.

Karl: I read something about they get rid of him next week cuz of his attitude. And first time I read it I thought he actually ate someone's hat.

Steve: What are you doing with your mouth though, Karl? It looks a bit like you're a ventriloquist dummy.
Karl: What do you mean?
Steve: Well it looks like you are sort scrunching your mouth up or pursing your lips or something. Now you've got, dare I say it, very kissable lips. But here, look how thin they are.
Karl: I'm smilin'.
Steve: That's a smile?

Karl: Found a story about a bloke, who, I dunno, was messing about with a chainsaw.

Ricky: Are you actually going to do some educating next week? And what about Rockbusters? Are you going to make the clues proper cryptic clues?
Karl: Well that's the teaser isn't it? That's what we'll leave them with.
Ricky: Will it be any good next week? Tune in and find out on Xfm 104.9!

Rockbusters

The fella has only got one badge left. E
The unmarried lady is a friend I eat out with. M.D.
I really really love that woman. I love everything she does. M

Trivia

• The picture Karl showed Ricky and Steve in this episode was later featured in Karl Pilkington: Satisfied Fool.

Playlist

Foo Fighers - All My Life
The Smiths - I Don't Owe You Anything
The Hives - Hate to Say I Told You So
Oasis - Live Forever
The Vines - Miss Jackson
Belle and Sebastian - The Boy with the Arab Strap
U2 - Electrical Storm
Bruce Springsteen - Growing Up
Beck - Lost Cause
N*E*R*D - Things Are Getting Better
Richard Ashcroft - Check the Meaning
Travis - Love Will Come Through
Suede - Obsessions

External Links

• http://www.miketheheadlesschicken.org/ - Chic-ken You Believe It?
• Hippo Eats Dwarfarticle