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{{Template:Infobox_Xfm_Series_4}}
{{Template:Infobox_Xfm_Series_4}}


[[Ricky Gervais]] and [[Stephen Merchant]] return to [[Xfm]] for a run of 6 shows, standing in for Adam and Joe, this being the first.  
[[Ricky Gervais]] and [[Stephen Merchant]] return to [[Xfm]] for a run of 6 shows, standing in for [[Adam Buxton|Adam]] and [[Joe Cornish|Joe]], this being the first.  


==Track Listing==
==Track Listing==
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!{{sectionhead|#EEEEEE|#AAAAAA|left|''For a partial transcript of this episode see [[28 May 2005/Transcript]].''}}
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====1. "I'm not made of money Rick!"====
====1. [[28 May 2005/Transcript#I'm Not Made of Money, Rick!|I'm Not Made of Money, Rick!]] ''(0:00:00)'' ====


[[Image:Cure.jpg|100px|right|]]
[[Image:Cure.jpg|100px|right|]]


Nothing has changed at [[Xfm]] in 18 months.
*Nothing has changed at [[Xfm]] in 18 months.


Steve jokes that some of Ricky's old bacon rinds are on the floor.
*Steve jokes that some of Ricky's old bacon rinds are on the floor.


Listenership is down, due to "Old [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_cure. Cure] fans dying of smack addictions".
*Listenership is down, due to "Old Cure fans dying of smack addictions".


Gervais suggests the listenership of Xfm has risen by 1; himself.
*Gervais suggests the listenership of Xfm has risen by 1: himself.


Steve's back mainly because his cheaply employed foreign cleaner cleans his house between 1pm and 3pm.
*Steve's back mainly because his cheaply employed foreign cleaner cleans his house between 1pm and 3pm.


The duo warn that the show is not like [[The Office]], [[Animals]] or [[Politics]] as it is poor and shoddily planned.
*The duo warn that the show is not like [[The Office]], [[Animals]] or [[Politics]] as it is poor and shoddily planned.


====2. The Doctor's Finger====
====2. [[28 May 2005/Transcript#The Old Finger Up The Arse|The Old Finger Up The Arse]] ''(0:02:59)''====
Ricky tells his oft-recalled story of how he hated U2 for 15 years until he heard Beautiful Day. Steve remarks that Rikcy sounds like Doctor Fox, which only prompts the fat funnyman to recall Foxy's criticism of the show, which according to Steve, "still hurts." Through the link of Doctors, Ricky then asks if Karl has been to have a medical examination, something which Suzanne keeps harranguing him to go to, as did Ricky's girlfriend, Jane. Ricky did indeed attend, but Karl did not because he didn't want the doctor to do "the old finger up the arse thing.", he doesn't know "what they're going to find up there," and "it's the heart I worry about the most" anyway. Steve then admits he doesn't know why doctors hold the patient's testicles and make them cough. Ricky vaguely suggests it might be diaphragm related, and it is not doctors "just having a quick feel", somehting that Karl disputes with a doubtful "hmmmmm". Ricky reminds London that Karl doesn't like to check his testicles as he doesn't like the feel, Karl insists that he can afford to lose one anyway. Karl says it would be just as bad having a friend administer the finger, Ricky squeaks that that would be worse, and asks Karl if he'd let any celebrity doctors; Doctor Fox or Doctor Who, examine him. Karl sighs and plays a record.


[[Image:Foxy.jpg|100px|right|]]


====3. Question Time====
*Ricky reveals a new found love for [[U2]] having hated them for the previous 15 years of his life.
Ricky reintroduces Karl to the nation. Karl says that his life has improved since he met the little and large combo, saying that he has "got Mondays off now." Karl then gets confused as to whether a web address about his little bald head (www.freewebs.com/the_k_man/) contains a dash of an underscore, saying "try both." Steve questions Karl using a set of questions he read in the Guardian Guide, where they questioned well known philosopher, the lead singer of Feeder. Karl answers the questions using his Morph-like mouth ; his idea of happiness is fishfingers, potato-cakes and beans, his greatest fear is going to the doctors - literally - it has nothing to do with mortality, he just wants to live 'til he's 84. He admires cocaine guzzling Winstom Churchill the most, as he stopped Karl speaking German, which he doesn't think he'd be good at. He doesn't know what capital punishment is, Ricky disagrees with it but Karl says that prisons are getting crowded so it might be a good idea; "What can you do with someone who's mental?" he asks rhetorically before playing a record.  


*Ricky and Steve recap [[Dr Fox]]'s criticism of their show, during which the DJ described the show as "painful". Steve is amused that Ricky still remembers the slamming.


====4. Lost in Space...and Knowledge====
*[[Karl]] won't get a medical checkup as he doesn't want the doctor to do "the old finger up the arse thing". He doesn't know what they're going to find up there, and it's the heart he worries about the most. Karl and Steve are suspicious of why doctors need to hold the patient's testicles when they cough. Ricky suggests it's to do with the diaphragm. Ricky recalls the time when Karl professed that he doesn't examine his testicles as he "doesn't like the feel". Karl says he can afford to lose one testicle.
Ricky says that his idea of happiness is being in a room with Karl before saying his oft-recalled comparison of Karl and a cat, followed by his oft-recalled "Karl might be retarded." jibe. His example is that while researching his new show Science, Karl said that when "Louis Armstrong went to the moon in 1966, there was a fella who didn't even get out to stretch his legs, how good can it be?" Steve tries to get philosophical but Karl insists that "there's no point", "nowt there" ,"did they look properly?", "it's like if an alien landed in Africa" and "we haven't done everything here on Earth yet". Steve remarks that he wouldn't go as he wouldn't be able to cover his goggle eyes with his NHS-spec glasses. The questioning resumes. Karl regrets not doing well at school, his street keeps him awake at night because it's noisy - again, a literal answer to a deep question. If there was a war Karl says he's simply go on holiday.


*Karl wouldn't let Dr Fox or Doctor Who conduct a prostate exam either.


====5. O.A.P's (Orientals Are Prunes)====
====3. [[28 May 2005/Transcript#Try Both|Try Both]] ''(0:08:06)'' ====
Ricky sounds like Doctor Fox while talking about The Who, then rejoices that Karl has got Rockbusters and Monkey News (is he mad?). Karl realises that the web address actually contained an underscore, Steve says one of his big words, one of his catchphrases! He thinks it is "interminable" giving out web addresses. Ricky says that in swearwords, only the vowel is offensive; acceptable words could be "Kants", like the philosopher, "cump", "fulking", "shnit" and combines a few with "willy wonka and his fulking cumps". Steve tells a sceptical Karl that two 80-something Japanese soldiers have been found in the woods somewhere, they still think it's the war. Karl brings up one of the greatest theories of our time: "Orientals Don't Age Well". "There's no 33 year old Chinamen, or fat ones," our messiah proclaims before saying that there is "no middle ground", "22 year olds are about", "49 year olds are around", "they don't age well, I don't know what's in 'em". He asks Stee if he can name a famous middle aged Chinaman. karl himself can only think of Bruce Lee. He thinks that Bruce Lee, 33 when he dies, actually looked 42. He presses his point. Steve sarcastically jokes that there are "people who have been waiting month for this!"


[[Image:Winston.jpg|100px|right|]]


====6. The Prize Is Rock (busters)====
*Karl says his life is better for meeting Ricky and Steve as he "has Mondays off now".
It's oh so quiet, it's oh so still... dead air. Steve says Karl is more backwards than ever. Karl advises a Japanese man who's getting married to take some good wedding photos before she gets old. He says in a roundabout manner that Suzanne's mum isn't exactly a pretty thing. He promises to tell of his holiday with Suzanne later in the show. Ricky tells of the Rockbusters prizes; a signed Spinal Tap poster courtesy of Christopher Guest, a drawing of Homer Simpson insulting our Karl by Matt Groening and a drawing of the Holy Trinity of Comedy as Flanimals; "bloat dumbplunt" "gog-lanker" and "pinkloid numbscrunt".


*Karl is confused as to whether a [http://www.freewebs.com/the_k_man/ website about him] featured a dash or an underscore in its URL, telling the listeners to "try both".


====7. Craptic Clues, it's Rockbusters====
*Steve quizzes Karl using a set of questions featured in the [http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/theguide/ Guardian Guide]. Karl's idea of perfect happiness is "fishfingers, potato cakes and beans". His greatest fear is "going to the doctors" and he wants to live to be 84. He most admires Winston Churchill, because he prevented English people having to speak German, which Karl claims he wouldn't be good at.
Steve shows his hand-eye coordination by spilling champagne on some wires, before shamelessly plugging said champagne, and begging for more products, possibly literally, but we cannot see if he is kneeling down or not. Ricky promises to shoot a cork at Karl's head for the finale. Karl sets the Rockbusters:


<br>1. So you get a bulb (Karl collapses into a fit of the giggles as Ricky mocks his accent) and look after it, teach it stuff, what're you doing there, know what I mean, what's gone on? - R.
*Karl doesn't know what capital punishment is. When Ricky explains it, Karl thinks it would be a good idea for criminals as prisons are overcrowded and "what can you do with someone who's mental?"


<br>2. Errr... People have problem doing this when they get home from a night's drinking, what's the problem? - K.
====4. [[28 May 2005/Transcript#Nowt There|Nowt There]] ''(0:15:07)''====


<br>3. I had a vision of that Chinese Flu - C.
[[Image:Moon.jpg|100px|right|]]


====8. Arachn-eats Chicken====
*Ricky's idea of happiness is being in a room with Karl, who he says is both like a cat and a "retard".
Steve tells listeners to keep listening for the cork-popping finale, just for the sound. "It's not 'app'nin'" Karl says. Ricky hopes for a cowbell or woodblock sound. Ricky wants people to send him stuff to "Harm Karl" with, Steve suggests trapping his head inside a George Foreman grill. Ricky tells of his torture instrument; a tea towel with a spoon in, he turns it. "It hurts" Karl, the victim, contributes. Steve says he was praying for a tsunami while watching Celebrity Love Island. The Oggmonster compares Karl to Paul Danan, thanks to the Ex-Hollyoaks simpleton's plea that "I like Lady Isabella Harvey 'cause she don't like books and I don't like books." Ricky and Steve hate Big Brother, Rebecca Loos ("wonked off a pog") and Abi Titmuss ("do these people have families? Her nan must be proud.") Ricky confesses that he'll watch Big Brother for the next 6 weeks to see if anyone gets hurt. He says Karl should go on but the Manc hates it, and it annoys him that Gervais watches it, presumably while eating cheese and drinking beer. Karl says there is always something better on, for example, the program about foot long spider that eats chicken. He thinks it's worrying that nobody is talking about it, especially as it can move,; "they come over here in bananas" he frets.


*When researching show with the abandoned title ''Science'', Gervais asked Karl about the moon landing. Karl said the moon landing featured "Louis Armstrong" (he meant ''Neil'' Armstrong]), "a bloke named Buzz" and " a fella who didn't even get out to stretch his legs".


====9. Bad Lyrics====
*According to Karl there's no point going to the moon as there's nowt there. Steve wouldn't go as he wouldn't be able to wear his glasses.
Ricky advertises "Rock Godz", with a "z" and an umlaut. He tells of the bad lyrics in the song by Rick Springfield; "I tell her I love her but the point may be moot." Steve quotes Brian Adams ("he thinks he's Bruce Springsteen" the lanky one says); "I'm in my hotel room/ There's a knock on the door and I get nervous/ I'm hoping it's you/ It's just room service". The DJ on the show that Steve heard that piece of tripe on, Christian O'Connel remarked "that sounded great", which Steve thinks is a perfect response to a rubbish session as it compliments the engineers, Karl chuckles at that, being as how he works in sound and all. Ricky applauds Brian Adams for buying the noisy pub next door to him, Karl thinks it's daft. Ricky says the highlight of Extras was dressing his editor up as a baby, such a sophisticated man!


Rockbusters Answers:
*Karl regrets not doing well at school.


1. R - Razorlight (Raise a light).  
*When asked what keeps him awake nights, Karl replies he lives on a loud high street.


2. K - Keane (Key in) "Awful," says Gervais.  
*If there was a war, Karl would go on holiday.


3. C - Caesars (See SARS). Paul in Bookham wins the prizes, although Steve doubts the state of his mind after getting Karl's answers.
====5. [[28 May 2005/Transcript#They Don't Age Well|They Don't Age Well]] ''(0:21:23)''====


====10. Champagne Supern-owwww-va====
[[Image:Bruce.jpg|100px|right|]]
Oh yes, the finale! Steve films as Gervais readies the bottle. Karl adopts the Brace position with this hands on head. Ricky fires! Karl grunts in pain! "Did that hit me?" he shouts, it seems it went off course. Steve wants more bottles to practice.  


*Ricky invents radio friendly swearwords like "Kant", "cump", "fulking", "schnit".


====11. Don't swat a fly, SWAT a monkey====
*Steve tells Karl that two 80 year old Japanese soldiers have been found hiding in the woods, believing the war still to be on.
Gervais and Merchant recap ("finger up arse, Kants, racism, cork on head...") Monkey News time people. Karl says he hasn't really had time to digest it properly. Ricky says they're not proper anyway. Karl suggests a repeat, Gervais demands new stuff then when Karl begins he thinks he's making it up as the Manc isn't reading from a piece of paper. Karl proceeds. He says that the police are having recruitment problems so the American SWAT have been taking on Monkeys and giving them Walkie Talkies ("They can't talk!" Ricky argues. "They're just Walkies," quick witted Merchant adds.) Karl says the monkeys have been given commands, they're good at getting into small spaces and good at cracking stuff. "It's just half a story I picked up on," he protests when Gervais gets angry. "It's not a story!" the little fat man with the pug nosed face (David Bowie's words, not mine) shouts. "What do you want?" Karl asks, like a little boy in a corner. "Monkey News!" Steve shouts, sounding not unlike a chimp himself as he blares it into the ears of XFM listeners. "This is one of the worst shows we've ever done," Gervais criticises. Even placid Steve gets angry. Karl protests that he needs to keep the show fresh, then he cuts to adverts. A triumphant return!


==Quotes==
*Karl goes on [[The Chinese Don't Age Well|a rant about how there's no 33 year old Chinamen]], or fat ones, there's no middle ground (in age) but 22 year olds are about and 49 year old ones are around. He borders on the edge of racism by claiming "They don't age well, I don't know what's in 'em".
SM: Which living person do you most admire?
 
*Steve can't name any famous middle-aged Chinamen. Karl can only think of Bruce Lee, who "looked 42" when he died at 33.
 
====6.  [[28 May 2005/Transcript#Gog-lanker|Gog-lanker]] ''(0:29:18)''====
 
[[Image:Spinal.jpg|100px|right|]]
 
*Karl advises a Japanese man who is soon to marry his Japanese fiancé to take some good wedding photos before she gets old fast.
 
*Karl comments on [[Suzanne]]'s [[Suzanne's Parents|mother]]'s looks.
 
*[[Rockbusters]] prizes include a signed Spinal Tap poster, a drawing of Homer Simpson and a drawing of Ricky, Steve and Karl immortalized as [[Flanimals]] "bloat dumbplunt", "gog-lanker" and "pinkloid numbscrunt".
 
====7.  [[28 May 2005/Transcript#That's Awful Karl|That's Awful Karl]] ''(0:33:57)'' ====


KP: Eh...  
[[Image:Champagne.jpg|100px|right|]]


SM: Which person thorughout any time in history do you most admire?
*Steve spills champagne by accident, then asks for more free products.


KP: Winston Churchill's pretty good
*[[Rockbusters]] clues given.


RG: Yeah, very good
====8.  [[28 May 2005/Transcript#Where's A Tsunami When You Need One?|Where's A Tsunami When You Need One?]] ''(0:41:48)''====


KP: He was alright
[[Image:Spider.jpg|100px|right|]]


SM: Why?
*Ricky wants people to send in objects to [[harm Karl]] with, suggesting a George Foreman Grill, and that he has already tortured Karl with a tea towel and spoon combo.


KP: Cause if it weren't for him, we'd be talking German, and i'm not that good at that
*Steve watched Celebrity Love Island and thought "Where's a tsunami when you need one?" and compared Karl to Paul Danan.


*Ricky and Steve attack Big Brother, Rebecca Loos who "wonked off a pog" and Abi Titmuss. Karl says he wouldn't go on Big Brother.


==Playlist==
*Karl tells a tale of a foot-long spider which eats chicken, which worries him as he thinks they come over here in bananas.
Since You Been Gone - Rainbow


City of Blinding Lights - U2
====9.  [[28 May 2005/Transcript#That Sounded Great!|That Sounded Great!]] ''(0:49:12)''====


Feel it in the Air - Beenie Seagull
[[Image:Adams.jpg|100px|right|]]


In My Time - Matthew Sweet
*Ricky discusses bad lyrics by Rick Springfield: "I tell her I love her but the point may be moot".
Best of You - Foo Fighters


Won't Get Fooled Again - The Who
*Steve's bad lyric nomination is Bryan Adams: "I'm in my hotel room/ There's a knock on the door and I get nervous/ I'm hoping it's you/ It's just room service". Steve heard it on a session hosted by [[Christian O'Connell]], who remarked "that sounded great", which Steve thinks is a perfect response to a rubbish session as it compliments the engineers.


Unknown
*Ricky applauds Bryan Adams for buying the pub next door to the musician's house, due to noise.


Unknown - Kings Of Leon
*Ricky's highlight of [[Extras]] was dressing editor [http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1034668 Nigel] up as a baby.


Forever Lost - Magic Numbers
*Karl gives the Rockbusters answers.


Unknown
====10. [[28 May 2005/Transcript#It's Like Jackass!|It's Like Jackass!]] ''(0:54:23)'' ====


Glorious Day - Embrace
*The finale of the show. Gervais shoots a cork from a champagne bottle onto Karl's head while Steve films for Ricky's website. Karl grunts in pain but asks if it hit him.


Jessie's Girl - Rick Springfield
====11.  [[28 May 2005/Transcript#They're Just Walkies!|They're Just Walkies!]] ''(0:56:01)''====


Unknown - Green Day
[[Image:Monkeycop.jpg|75px|right|]]


Homesick- Kings of Convenience
*[[Monkey News]]. Karl hasn't prepared a story but when pressured comes up with a story about the American SWAT team recruiting monkeys who have walkie-talkies. "They can't talk!" Ricky shouts, "So they're just walkies!" Steve quips.


==Extras==
*Karl finishes and argues with Ricky and Steve. "What do you want?" he asks, "Monkey News!" Steve yells.
'''Transcript needed'''


==Download==
*"This is the worst show we've ever done", Ricky says as the show comes to a close.


http://www.sendspace.com/file/nzc3f0
==Quotes==
'''Steve:'''  Which living person do you most admire? <br>
'''Karl:'''  Eh... <br>
'''Steve:'''  Which person throughout any time in history do you most admire? <br>
'''Karl:''' Winston Churchill's pretty good. <br>
'''Ricky:'''  Yeah, very good.<br>
'''Karl:''' He was alright. <br>
'''Steve:'''  Why? <br>
'''Karl:''' Cause if it weren't for him, we'd be talking German, and I'm not that good at that. <br>


http://savefile.com/files/45190
==Rockbusters==
If you've got a bulb, and you look after it, and you teach it stuff, what are you doing there? <span title="Razorlight" style="color: red" id=title>R.</span><br>
http://rapidshare.de/files/32357985/s04e01.mp3
People have a problem doing this when they home from a night drinking. <span title="Keene" style="color: red" id=title>K.</span><br>
I had a vision of that Chinese flu. <span title="Caesars" style="color: red" id=title>C.</span><br>
 
==Playlist==
Rainbow - ''Since You Been Gone'' <br>
[[U2]] - ''City of Blinding Lights''<br>
Beanie Sigel - ''Feel it in the Air'' <br>
Matthew Sweet - ''In My Time'' <br>
Foo Fighters - ''Best of You'' <br>
The Who - ''Won't Get Fooled Again''<br>
Kings Of Leon - ''King of the Rodeo''<br>
The Magic Numbers - ''Forever Lost''<br>
Bruce Springsteen - ''No Surrender''<br>
Embrace - ''Glorious Day''<br>
Rick Springfield - ''Jessie's Girl''<br>
Green Day - ''Wake Me Up When September Ends''<br>
Kings of Convenience - ''Homesick'' <br>
 
==External Links==
* [http://www.freewebs.com/the_k_man/ The Freewebs "K-man" website (you won't have to try 'em both).]
* Celebrity Love Island member Wikipedia articles: [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Danan Paul Danan], [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rebecca_Loos Rebecca Loos] , [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abi_Titmuss Abi Titmuss]
* [http://www.pbs.org/wnet/nature/deepjungle/episode2_nicholas.html Article on the foot-long spider that eats chicken]
* [http://www.rickygervais.com/video7.php Video of Ricky popping a cork on Karl's head]


==See Also==
==See Also==
Line 134: Line 176:
*[[Xfm Series 2]]
*[[Xfm Series 2]]
*[[Xfm Series 3]]
*[[Xfm Series 3]]
[[Category:Episode Pages|4.01]]

Latest revision as of 12:15, 7 August 2020

Xfm Series 4
May 2005 - July 2005
List of episodes

Episodes:

  1. 28 May 2005 (Transcript) (Xfm: Episode I)
  2. 04 June 2005 (Xfm: Episode II)
  3. 11 June 2005 (Xfm: Episode III)
  4. 18 June 2005 (Xfm: Episode IV)
  5. 25 June 2005 (Transcript) (Xfm: Episode V)
  6. 02 July 2005 (Xfm: Episode VI)

Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant return to Xfm for a run of 6 shows, standing in for Adam and Joe, this being the first.

Track Listing

For a partial transcript of this episode see 28 May 2005/Transcript.

1. I'm Not Made of Money, Rick! (0:00:00)

  • Nothing has changed at Xfm in 18 months.
  • Steve jokes that some of Ricky's old bacon rinds are on the floor.
  • Listenership is down, due to "Old Cure fans dying of smack addictions".
  • Gervais suggests the listenership of Xfm has risen by 1: himself.
  • Steve's back mainly because his cheaply employed foreign cleaner cleans his house between 1pm and 3pm.

2. The Old Finger Up The Arse (0:02:59)

  • Ricky reveals a new found love for U2 having hated them for the previous 15 years of his life.
  • Ricky and Steve recap Dr Fox's criticism of their show, during which the DJ described the show as "painful". Steve is amused that Ricky still remembers the slamming.
  • Karl won't get a medical checkup as he doesn't want the doctor to do "the old finger up the arse thing". He doesn't know what they're going to find up there, and it's the heart he worries about the most. Karl and Steve are suspicious of why doctors need to hold the patient's testicles when they cough. Ricky suggests it's to do with the diaphragm. Ricky recalls the time when Karl professed that he doesn't examine his testicles as he "doesn't like the feel". Karl says he can afford to lose one testicle.
  • Karl wouldn't let Dr Fox or Doctor Who conduct a prostate exam either.

3. Try Both (0:08:06)

  • Karl says his life is better for meeting Ricky and Steve as he "has Mondays off now".
  • Karl is confused as to whether a website about him featured a dash or an underscore in its URL, telling the listeners to "try both".
  • Steve quizzes Karl using a set of questions featured in the Guardian Guide. Karl's idea of perfect happiness is "fishfingers, potato cakes and beans". His greatest fear is "going to the doctors" and he wants to live to be 84. He most admires Winston Churchill, because he prevented English people having to speak German, which Karl claims he wouldn't be good at.
  • Karl doesn't know what capital punishment is. When Ricky explains it, Karl thinks it would be a good idea for criminals as prisons are overcrowded and "what can you do with someone who's mental?"

4. Nowt There (0:15:07)

  • Ricky's idea of happiness is being in a room with Karl, who he says is both like a cat and a "retard".
  • When researching show with the abandoned title Science, Gervais asked Karl about the moon landing. Karl said the moon landing featured "Louis Armstrong" (he meant Neil Armstrong]), "a bloke named Buzz" and " a fella who didn't even get out to stretch his legs".
  • According to Karl there's no point going to the moon as there's nowt there. Steve wouldn't go as he wouldn't be able to wear his glasses.
  • Karl regrets not doing well at school.
  • When asked what keeps him awake nights, Karl replies he lives on a loud high street.
  • If there was a war, Karl would go on holiday.

5. They Don't Age Well (0:21:23)

  • Ricky invents radio friendly swearwords like "Kant", "cump", "fulking", "schnit".
  • Steve tells Karl that two 80 year old Japanese soldiers have been found hiding in the woods, believing the war still to be on.
  • Karl goes on a rant about how there's no 33 year old Chinamen, or fat ones, there's no middle ground (in age) but 22 year olds are about and 49 year old ones are around. He borders on the edge of racism by claiming "They don't age well, I don't know what's in 'em".
  • Steve can't name any famous middle-aged Chinamen. Karl can only think of Bruce Lee, who "looked 42" when he died at 33.

6. Gog-lanker (0:29:18)

  • Karl advises a Japanese man who is soon to marry his Japanese fiancé to take some good wedding photos before she gets old fast.
  • Rockbusters prizes include a signed Spinal Tap poster, a drawing of Homer Simpson and a drawing of Ricky, Steve and Karl immortalized as Flanimals "bloat dumbplunt", "gog-lanker" and "pinkloid numbscrunt".

7. That's Awful Karl (0:33:57)

  • Steve spills champagne by accident, then asks for more free products.

8. Where's A Tsunami When You Need One? (0:41:48)

  • Ricky wants people to send in objects to harm Karl with, suggesting a George Foreman Grill, and that he has already tortured Karl with a tea towel and spoon combo.
  • Steve watched Celebrity Love Island and thought "Where's a tsunami when you need one?" and compared Karl to Paul Danan.
  • Ricky and Steve attack Big Brother, Rebecca Loos who "wonked off a pog" and Abi Titmuss. Karl says he wouldn't go on Big Brother.
  • Karl tells a tale of a foot-long spider which eats chicken, which worries him as he thinks they come over here in bananas.

9. That Sounded Great! (0:49:12)

  • Ricky discusses bad lyrics by Rick Springfield: "I tell her I love her but the point may be moot".
  • Steve's bad lyric nomination is Bryan Adams: "I'm in my hotel room/ There's a knock on the door and I get nervous/ I'm hoping it's you/ It's just room service". Steve heard it on a session hosted by Christian O'Connell, who remarked "that sounded great", which Steve thinks is a perfect response to a rubbish session as it compliments the engineers.
  • Ricky applauds Bryan Adams for buying the pub next door to the musician's house, due to noise.
  • Ricky's highlight of Extras was dressing editor Nigel up as a baby.
  • Karl gives the Rockbusters answers.

10. It's Like Jackass! (0:54:23)

  • The finale of the show. Gervais shoots a cork from a champagne bottle onto Karl's head while Steve films for Ricky's website. Karl grunts in pain but asks if it hit him.

11. They're Just Walkies! (0:56:01)

  • Monkey News. Karl hasn't prepared a story but when pressured comes up with a story about the American SWAT team recruiting monkeys who have walkie-talkies. "They can't talk!" Ricky shouts, "So they're just walkies!" Steve quips.
  • Karl finishes and argues with Ricky and Steve. "What do you want?" he asks, "Monkey News!" Steve yells.
  • "This is the worst show we've ever done", Ricky says as the show comes to a close.

Quotes

Steve: Which living person do you most admire?
Karl: Eh...
Steve: Which person throughout any time in history do you most admire?
Karl: Winston Churchill's pretty good.
Ricky: Yeah, very good.
Karl: He was alright.
Steve: Why?
Karl: Cause if it weren't for him, we'd be talking German, and I'm not that good at that.

Rockbusters

If you've got a bulb, and you look after it, and you teach it stuff, what are you doing there? R.
People have a problem doing this when they home from a night drinking. K.
I had a vision of that Chinese flu. C.

Playlist

Rainbow - Since You Been Gone
U2 - City of Blinding Lights
Beanie Sigel - Feel it in the Air
Matthew Sweet - In My Time
Foo Fighters - Best of You
The Who - Won't Get Fooled Again
Kings Of Leon - King of the Rodeo
The Magic Numbers - Forever Lost
Bruce Springsteen - No Surrender
Embrace - Glorious Day
Rick Springfield - Jessie's Girl
Green Day - Wake Me Up When September Ends
Kings of Convenience - Homesick

External Links

See Also

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