22 March 2003/Transcript

This is a transcription of the 22 March 2003 episode, from Xfm Series 2

Bruce Willis on the Telly

Ricky: Bob Dylan. “The Times They Are a-Changin’” on X--

Steve: The thing is, Rick. Thing is, Rick, it makes me wonder if, uh, the times- are they changing? I mean, it seems to me that life’s pretty much the same as it was way back in the sixties when Bob Dylan wrote that song.

Ricky: Got any idea what you’re talking about?

Steve: No idea whatsoever, Rick.

Ricky: You don’t really know about politics, do ya?

Steve: Nope, know anything about it. Don’t even read the papers, got no-no interest, really.

Ricky: Yeah.

Steve: Not particularly informed, my life’s cushty. Uh, won some awards and stuff, didn’t bother me. So, um--

Ricky: On a serious note, though, it is a bit worrying.

Steve: What?

Ricky: Do I have to get gas masks or summat?

Steve: No, because there are guys out there in Leicester Square today wearing novelty hats.

Ricky chuckles

Steve: If they don’t sort this war out--

Ricky: Oh worries.

Steve: Then no one can.

Ricky: Okay. Well, I’m not gonna talk about it anymore.

Karl: You see, you see, you-you would worry about it.

Ricky: I would worry about it?

Karl: Well, you. Maybe Steve.

Ricky: Why?

Karl: Sort of people who-who are successful are worrying about it more than other people. Just cause--

Ricky: Go on.

Karl: Well, they’ve got more to lose, haven’t they?

Ricky laughs

Steve: Right.

Karl: No, d’you know what I mean? You see, like, Bruce Willis on the telly saying, “Oh.”

Ricky laughs

Karl: “It’s not good, is it?” And it’s because he’s got a big house and loads of cars. If you live, you know, on a council estate it’s like, “Well… if it gets bombed, probably doing us all a favour. We’ll get nice, new blocks of flats to live in an’ that.” It happened with Manchester! With the, with the bomb that happened and they bombed the Arndale Centre. Did us a favour. Got a nice, new Marks & Spencers an’ that.

Ricky: So this- hold on. This puts a whole new twist on the argument when people say bombing the world’s poorest countries is wrong. Cause I remember when the Afghan problem was on, people were saying, “Bombing the world’s poorest country’s wrong,” but-but it’s like home improvement, according to you then.

Steve: Yeah. Cause they’ve got a brand new B & Q, have they, over now?

Ricky and Steve laugh

Steve: They’re popping down there every Sunday.

Karl: Anyway. Let’s not go on about it, cause--

Steve: Yeah.

Ricky: Well, think what you’re saying.

Karl: Yeah, I know.

Steve: “My family was killed, but look! A Carpet Warehouse!”

Ricky: Yeah.

Karl: D’you know, I-I-I think, you know, people don’t want to hear about this today from us. They want to hear, you know, the new features, the "Songs of Phrase."

Ricky and Steve laugh

Steve: Woah. What’s "Songs of Phrase?"

Karl: It’s the feature we started last week--

Ricky: Yeah.

Steve: Right.

Karl: Where we, where we take clips of songs, we make up a phrase from the show.

Ricky: I mean, a famous phrase. Last-last week’s world famous phrase was “There’s this hairy Chinese kid.”

Steve: Yeah.

Ricky: You’ll remember.

Steve: Yes.

Karl: Well, it was, it was called "Crosswords" last week, but Phil e-mailed in a good suggestion.

Steve: Right.

Karl: Said, “Call it 'Songs of Phrase.'”

Steve: Brilliant.

Ricky: "Songs of Phrase." "Songs of Phrase." Per-perfect.

Karl: So we’ll lose that.

Ricky: Have we got- are we still going with “Cheap as Chimps?”

Karl: Uh--

Steve: We’re persevering with that, are we?

Karl: Got-got some "Cheap as Chimps" lined up.

Ricky: Yeah.

Karl: We’ll be doing that before three o’clock.

Ricky: Yeah.

Steve: Great!

Karl: Again, who else can say that?

Steve chuckles

Steve: So, good. So for the next two hours everyone should just bury their head in the sand, ignore the world’s problems and, uh, enjoy Ch- features such as "Cheap as Chimps"--

Ricky laughs

Steve: And--

Ricky and Steve: "Songs of Phrase."

Karl: And a bit of Turin Brakes.

Steve: Aw, class.

Ricky: Oh!

Song: Turin Brakes- Pain Killer