18 June 2005

Classic episode from final XFM Season. Journalist Chris Campling believes Karl is a "creation" of Gervais and Merchant, prompting Steve to explain they wouldn't waste a character this good on a tin pot radio show. Karl and Ricky share telephone notes during a documentary entitled "The Strangest Village in Britian", where Christian caretakers live amidst mentally disabled residents. Karl then describes a late night train trip on a crammed train from Manchester. Karl finds the only open seat and it is across from a kid who has Downs Syndrome. Karl pretends to be asleep because "you know how they are, always talkin". When Ricky awakens Karl with a phone call Karl's seatmate makes the statement "You're muscly." When his new friend asks why, Karl is stressed because he doesnt know why he is muscly. The seatamate then challenges Karl to a wrestling match which, fortunately for Karl, was ended early. In this episode Karl introduces a new character from his childhood, this one a woman who drove her husband around in the basket of a three wheeled bike. Later in the episode Karl suggests that the song "Pinball Wizard" is logically unsound due to the fact that the "Wizard" leads the life of a "tapeworm" as he has no sight or hearing. Karl points out that there was no point puting money into the pinball machine as he could have just hit the buttons and not known any better.

Notable Quotes from this show:

Puppet

"He basically said that Karl Pilkington is a creation of Gervais and Merchant - if only that were the case!"

Exhibition

"It is like I'm the elephant man, the way I'm being treated now - 'Come and have a look at him'!"

Wedding

"I was stood at the back and that, watching, and I couldn't hear what was going on 'cos a woman was breastfeeding a baby..."

Journey

"What do you mean?! What do you mean 'I'd best just have an arm wrestle'?!"

Rockbusters

"Final clue: What the Scouse fella said to the robber who he found in his house next to his vineyard."

Weird

"She used to sort of ride down the road with her fella in the back, with his legs dangling over..."

Knob

"I think it's probably either in the middle or just slightly to the left. Have a look and we'll tell the listeners after the break - where's Karl's knob?"

Grafts

"He's not going into work with this knob on his arm, he's probably in a hospital bed under examination. What? Do you think they pop the knob on his arm and say 'Come back in three weeks'?"

Pinball

"It's not hard, it's just moving the thing isn't it? Just hitting the buttons hard. If he was a Pacman Wizard you'd go 'Bloody hell...'."

Fiction

"He's a deaf, dumb ands blind kid - he can't see any flashing lights, he can't hear any bells, he plays by sense of smell. Now, I'm pretty sure that isn't a scientific document."

Monkeynews

"It's loving life, forgetting about its past and everything, when this other monkey comes along. That comes in, something's said..."