Podcast Series 3

After a hiatus while Ricky and Steve filmed the new series of "Extras", the famous show has returned. The series is available now through iTunes and audible.com.

Episode 1

Tuesday 22 Aug 2006

Length: 27:58

• They're back!

• Whilst Ricky and Steve have been filming the second series of Extras, Karl has become obsessed with bugs and insects.

• Karl describes seeing a bee have a heart attack. The bee fell from the air onto the pavement. He described it as being "stone cold dead" within seconds. Karl believed it was stressed because it was living in London and it was overweight.

• Karl thinks moths are depressing because they don't have eyes. He believes it should be a rule that "if you don't have eyes, you shouldn't have wings".

• Accidents doing sports during school days. Ricky and Steve recall being terrified of playing cricket and rugby. Karl remembers his mum didn't like him to play cricket with a friend because his friend's dad's eyelids were too big and she didn't like Karl getting into a car with him driving.

• Karl thinks he would be more confident if he had someone elses body as it gives him an excuse if the body is out of shape. Ricky then questions Karl if he would masturbate if he had someone elses body.

• Karl's Diary - More about insects. Karl plays with a ladybird. Karl argues with Suzanne because she wanted a lie in on Sunday. Karl said, "insects don't have lie-ins, so we shouldn't". He later says "if we copied insects, we wouldn't go far wrong". Karl wonders why the word 'dictionary' is in the dictionary. Two new species of fly have been discovered. A moth gets into the bedroom. A caveman is discovered with hairgel in his hair.

• Karl writes his first poem.

Episode 2

Tuesday 29 Aug 2006

Length: 34:11

• Karl talks about being rushed to hospital with kidney stones. He discusses how when he was a child, whenever he got a belly ache he put a cold ashtray on his belly because "the coldness got rid of the badness". It specifically had to be an ashtray because ashtrays hold cold. Ricky visited Karl in hospital to find him in his underpants and stockings. Karl explains how the stockings prevented the blood in his legs from clotting.

• When Karl was in hospital he thought about "what is the closest thing living, that is nothing?" He talks about how a stick insect is a slight crossover from a stick to an insect and how there is not much difference between the two.

• Steve tries to explain to Karl that insects and animals do not have conscienceness, personality and communication.

• Karl notices that pigeons have got wings but walk a lot. It annoys him that pigeons have the 'power' of flight and don't often use it.

• Karl tells a story about a women who left a goldfish in the bath when she went on holiday and it grew to 7 feet in length. He notices how you never see fish die of old age.

• Ricky asks what advice Karl would give to a two week old octopus. The advice Karl gives is to stay close to the rocks and let it know that it can can get into small spaces.

• Karl's Diary - Brown sauce is too big. A large wasp enters the flat. Karl re-wallpapers the mirrored wall (mentioned in Podcast Series 2, Episode 1). Karl reads about where the phrase 'Pot Luck' originated in his phrase book. The washer needs repairing. Karl watches a story on the news about Siamese twins being seperated. They had 2 heads, 4 arms, 2 legs and 1 liver. The doctors said they would have one leg each.

• Karl writes another poem.

Episode 3

Tuesday 5 Sep 2006

Length: 30:16

• Update on Karls kidney stones. When mentioned by Ricky that the condition was Karls own fault for not drinking enough water, Karl explains how he now seems to be over-compensating by drinking too much. Karl is of the belief that this was a near death experience and he has been given 'a second chance' for him to become a better person.

• Karl thinks that if you are near death, its better to just sit at home and watch 'The Price Is Right' as the days drag more. People near death should also learn more from the internet.

• Karl tells a story of a man who "looks after elephants" who crashes his light aircraft whilst looking for one elephant. He breaks his legs and "does his back in" and had to wait 48 hours for rescue. During this time "everything is being chucked at him" including a lion, a dangerous snake in his shoe and "some sort of bad ants". He got so hot his lips fell off. This leads Ricky to question if a plane crashed with the three of them on board and Steve offered up his penis to eat, whether Karl would eat it. Karl said he would look for something else, saying "We are surrounded by water. Why are we eating knob? Theres loads of fish and everything."

• Karl thinks the sea is becoming overcrowded and everything in it is being pushed to the edge. Karls reads that evolution is quicker in the sea and that jellyfish didn't have stings 50 years ago.

• Karl writes a two poems about jellyfish and one about his kidney problems. Ricky is quite disapointed that they are quite good and worries that Karl may be becoming more intelligent.

• Talk about The World of Karl Pilkington, leads to a conversation about books and stories. Karl doesn't see the point in fincional stories as he believes that 'fact' is more interesting. Ricky and Steve question what Karl understands to be a 'story'.

• Karl thinks that the octopus the most unusual creature in the world. He explains that he doesn't like their eyes and the way they float about. Ricky then asks Karl how he could improve a crab. Karl thinks that although they are weird, "they are at that size where they can get away with it", but they could be improved if they could tuck in their arms.

• Karl's Diary - Karls reads about an animal called an alpacka (sp?) that have been specially bred but normally live in the mountains. Karl thinks that they will become useless as when they are put back on the mountains (because the world becomes too overcrowded) they won't be able to survive. A "new sea thing" has been found [and was sold] on eBay. Karl wouldn't want it because he wouldn't know what to do with it.

See Also

Karl's Poems
Karl's Diary
Podcast Series 1
Podcast Series 2

External Links

• Rickygervais.com Official site
• Series 3 @ Audible.com