26 July 2003

Ricky and Steve open the show promoting "people you hate" and then whoring themselves out to potential new employers. Now a song. Satire and more satire. What do you like? Foreigners! "You know my favorite country --- Africa" says ricky.

another song. then..."how does Chines work? Translating Chinese--the drawings. "Even the french give it a try...etc." And the germans. The chinese--no effort. One symbol for a whole sentence.

After Longview's "Further" - Ricky reintroduces the comedy trio, with Stephen adding "The Holy Trinity" at the end. This being the origin of the collective term used on the forum for Ricky, Stephen & Karl "HTC"

Ricky and Steve would love to speak to a chinaman or chinaman-woman. Chinatown in london is not a town...more a novelty street But--they are non-scrutable. You could not scrute a chinaman for love nor money. steve though would like to scrute a china-woman.

After Led Zeppelin "whole lotta love" there's more china talk. Benny Hill china-speak.

Cheeky Freak of the Week.---Karl not wanting to bring it back. But there's a fella with two dicks. Karl still wanting to put it on hold for the moment.

Ricky tells of a photo shoot at the zoo, and an orangutan escaped. Karl not impressed, cause they caught the orangutan and brought it back. it didnt go to spain, etc.

The anteater...if an animal is named for what it eats, how interesting is it? says Karl.

Steve--the wax museum. What is the appeal? Everyone agrees. Rubbish. The hate poll...more input. Remember, we don't get involved, says Ricky. Then, our hands are clean. The top 5 or 10 upcoming. And from that, another vote for the top 3.

Songs of phrase time. "Tell me why--don't they play the game of swingball" --which was a phrase from only the past week about the wimbledon wheelchair tennis players.

This show has been a bit naughty, says ricky. artist or song? But we are strongly behind the show having irony, satire, and ignorance. Karl has only ignorance.

Karl pipes in with more chinese stuff. NOOOOO! yells Ricky. Cause Karl is still going on about the chinese not aging well. Song of Phrase played again. Steve reads the prizes now.

Top 5 on the hate list from the XFM listeners: in no particular order-- Chris Tarrant, Davina McCall, Patrick Kealty, Graham Norton, and Chris Moyles. Spelling on a couple might be off....sorry.

Ricky--another pointless inane poll. And this time WE did it!

The bottom line....most people on the list are just on the telly too much. And now another playing of the Song of Phrase for the week.

Ricky now asks what would be on karl's list---liverpudlians, gays in toilets? Karl--well, we've sorted that out havent we?

now a discussion of what would karl do if he were president or PM. But first, the couple who adopted a kid, but it turned out they had been sold a chimp instead. off a dodgy email address. for 3000. but as it got older it got hairier. Ricky--"you maniac...you stupid manc twat. don't talk shit! are you mental! ...They're born hairy!"... Karl has a school photo?..... Ricky--mad, innit

what would we do if karl ran the country for a week? Now the discussion of what karl would do if he was ruler. he wouldnt be bothered..... But he did think of a campaign slogan---"K-P looks after me!"..... Ricky--I'm a K-P nut..... Karl--"would I have to worry about all those problems?"

And now a discussion of what would happen if a bloke grew up in a jungle with no girls around. Would he go gay or have the desire for women?

Again...karl cant understand the monkeys and typewriters problem because he doesnt see it is the nature of infinity.

More gay jungle discussion an' that. Karl--"it's weird, innit"

Now, the story about a bloke who was in a coma for almost 20 years. What was his first statement. They had taken him to Alton Towers a lot apparently, according to Karl...

Ricky--"stop taking me to Alton Towers, it's SHIT!"

Karl--no...."how much is post?"

Steve relates the same story. Same guy. apparently the guy had a great sense of humor coming out of the coma. one of the first question- statements--"how do ya feel...Horny"

Songs of Phrase---everyone's given up. Hardly any interest.

And after this...the overwhelming winner of "who do you hate" is Chris Moyles.

A short discussion of classic songs that would be wrong if only one word was changed. C'mon baby light a fire. And the beatles with ricky's ooooh....ahhhhh!

And Karl do not confuse determinism with fatalism...karl---"am I still President?

Karl's aides would come out of the oval office saying--

"He said he was gonna think about it...he was on Ananova looking at Monkey News!"

Monkey news now: this one is a classic. The London to Brighton bike ride. And a tricycle comes whizzing past. Turns out it was a chimp and the trainer wants to enter him in the 2005 tour de france. Ricky was saying it better not be....if it goes anywhere near that, we're never doing it again. Karl--"more monkey news next week??"

and he never expected the tricycle!

Ricky--"youuuuu...you bald manc GIT!"

ed. This is one of the funniest monkey news segments ever.

Ricky "it was a chimp? well oh, christ all mighty there ya go! no more monkey news"

"That is the worst one yet... absolute twaddle absolute rubbish karl....unbelievable"

External Links

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