12 July 2003/Transcript

This is a transcription of the 12 July 2003 episode, from Xfm Series 2

I'd Turn Off Today, Because There's Nothing

Ricky: Okay lets have a great show everyone. Good luck.

Steve: Oh yeah. Good luck.

Ricky: Um..right, that was Jane’s Addiction, Just Because on XFM 104.9. Right. Everybody up, lets give ‘em a great show, yeah. Two hours of like fun chat. Lets keep it, you know, lets keep it cutting edge. That’s not gonna be too hard. I mean that’s what the listeners of XFM would….oh no it isn’t is it. No, because, hold on wait, wait a minute because we came in yesterday and did this little skit didn’t we, where we bleeped it out…..

Steve: We did a little sketch. It was quite annoying, it was quite controversial.

Ricky: …And then Karl called me last night and we’re not allowed to play it out ‘cause Andr….

Steve: Oh we’ve been censored?

Ricky: Yeah. Uh…

Steve: Interesting. Interesting. So it’s a cutting edge alternative station, wants to push the boundaries, wants to be thought of as rock and roll, a bit punk, a bit punk rock….

Ricky: Yeah..Yeah..

Steve: …but we’re not allowed to play that stuff.

Ricky: ’cause I um, uh I said something about the radio authority. I bleeped it out, what I called them….

Steve: Sure. Yeah.

Ricky: …but uh couldn’t do it. Done it before. Couldn't do it.

Steve: Sensored. Sensored

Ricky: Karl agrees though. What’s your thoughts Karl? You agree with that?

Karl: Yeah, I agree. Yeah.

Ricky: Why?

Karl: Well, what’s the point?

Ricky: Well it was funny wasn’t it? And it wasn’t offensive to anyone.

Karl: Not…not really. It’s not some of the best stuff that would have ever gone out on this show but you know…

Steve: Right, what are you putting it up against exactly?…

Ricky laughs

Steve: …Cheeky Freak of the Week?

Karl: Well that..that springs to mind.

Ricky: Yeah.

Steve: And Rockbusters?

Karl: Yeah.

Ricky: But I mean the thing is you know the things that you have put out there, I mean we better be really careful. He was worried about complaints. I mean it’s not just swearing is it. It’s taste and decency and everything…

Karl: Well yeah.

Ricky: …so we can’t, we can’t laugh about the disabled anymore…

Karl: No.

Ricky: …in the Cheeky Freak of the Week. Uh..can’t do stories about elderly relatives with genitals looking like a split tennis ball…

Karl: That’s right.

Ricky: ..um. Can’t do your bad dad puttin’ a child with learning difficulties in a bin. So, well should we just play music.

Steve: I think that’s all this is gonna have to be. Yeah.

Ricky: Play a record.

Record Plays

Ricky: Accidents Will Happen by Elvis Costello on XFM 104.9. Karl’s a little bit stressed. Which it’s not his fault. It was the boss that overruled him. He came along. What’d he do? He heard you, he heard you listening to it.

Karl: Yep.

Ricky: What’d he say?

Karl: He says “What’s that?”, I said “It’s what Ricky wants to play out tomorrow.”…

Ricky: Yeah.

Karl: …and he said “Well, can’t go out like that. Too many….”

Ricky: But they’re all bleeped. We, we bleeped the swear words.

Karl: Yeah but he didn’t want it to go out. I mean you got to remember, right, you came in yesterday to have a chat about what we gonna do…

Ricky: Yeah.

Karl: …one of the topics that I said lets talk about. Which I came up with…

Ricky: Yeah.

Karl: …was lets talk about swearing.

Ricky: No, you said you’d never had a problem with swearing which is annoyin’ you…

Karl: Yeah, that’s right.

Ricky: …and then we did the thing about isn’t it funny that you can, you know, the thing about that you can bleep a swear word by taking out the vowel. So, we were going, so, it’s the vowel that’s offensive and we did a little sketch around that and then ended, you know. Uh, and uh he wanted to completely obliterate the word in the end and didn’t wanna put the thing in we said about the Radio Authority which I don’t think, i think, i think it was valid and wouldn’t have got a complaint.

Karl: Yeah but at the end of the day he’s the boss and what he says goes, dunnit?

Steve: Sure.

Ricky makes chicken sounds

Steve: Yeah I was just gonna say…

Ricky and Steve make chicken sounds

Karl: Alright, but, but, but but what you gotta remember is what he also said is if you wanna pay the 70 grand fine, then go ahead and do it Steve.

Ricky: What? It wouldn’t be…there wouldn’t be a 70 grand fine though would there.

Karl: Well, you don’t know what it’d be, but will you pay it, will you pay for my mortgage, will you pay for his mortgage, will you feed his kids.

Ricky: You wouldn’t be fired.

Karl: What’d you mean? Well if, I tell you what if it’s not a fine we’d lose the license then we’d all be fired…

Ricky: Right…

Karl: …and you’re sat at home.

Ricky: …do you seriously think you’d lose the license for that sketch.

Karl: Well…

Ricky: Does he really seriously think you’d lose the license for it.

Karl: Well I don’t know but…

Ricky: It’s, It is not the worst thing we’ve ever put out or done or ever will do.

Karl: Yeah but it’s the fact he said don’t put it out and you’re like, you know, throwing your toys out the pram.

Ricky chuckles

Ricky: No it’s just…

Karl: ”Oh I wanna say it, I wanna say it.” How old are ya, but you still wanna put swearing out.

Ricky: No. It’s a discussion about the Radio Authority and the way people are interested.

Karl: Yeah but leave it. Lets move on.

Ricky: Don’t get annoyed.

Karl: Yeah but I’m annoyed because you’ve been at it since about half past 12.

Ricky giggles

Ricky: Yeah I know. Well I like to get in early to plan the show.

Karl: Yeah but there’s been no planning, so to be honest I’d turn off today, anyone listening ‘cause there’s nothing.

Ricky laughs

Steve: Karl there’s never anything.

Ricky laughs

Karl: There is. There’s sometimes some good things but today, seriously, I’d leave it.

Steve: What is there? What is there? What? Name us something half decent that’s been on this show.

Karl: Loads of little interesting topics.

Steve: Go on. I can’t remember any.

Karl: Right. Gays and toilets.

Ricky: Yeah.

Steve: Eh. Not particularly interesting. Fascinating to you perhaps.

Karl: Right well I’d prefer to hear that then just a load of swear words.

Steve: Well I wouldn’t

Ricky: We’re, we’re not gonna hear, we wouldn’t have heard any swear words. We’d have heard some bleeping.

Karl: Right then, so that’s that’s entertaining innit. Load of bleeps.

Ricky: It’s just because you don’t wanna stand up to your boss or say anything. Don’t get annoyed as us.

Karl: I’d stand up, I’d stand up to him if I, if I, agree with what I’m arguing about, but I’m not falling out with him over some crappy thing you wanna play out.

Ricky: Don’t say crappy.

Steve: Uh uh. Don’t slag it off.

Ricky: Don’t say crappy.

Karl: Well it doesn't matter ‘cause I’m not here next week I’ll tell you that. I’ve canned this in.

Ricky: Don’t say crappy.

Karl: Right so if Andrew is listening…

Ricky: Don’t say crappy.

Karl: …someone else can be here next week.

Ricky: Play a record. We apologize for the word “crap”.

Steve: That’s out of order. We should bleep that.