Karl's Diary

Creation of Karl's Diary

Karl started keeping a record of his thoughts and experiences whilst on holiday in Gran Canaria with his girlfriend Suzanne. The segment first appeared in episode 8 of the Guardian Unlimited podcasts 23 January 2006. Karl compared his literary efforts to those of Anne Frank, claiming that "If she's sat in a, you know, a loft, knockin' stuff up, not much goin' on in 'er life at that point... yet she was still writin' it down... I thought, 'well I'm on holiday'... start a diary". Karl says he has never even heard of Samuel Pepys' Diary.

Introductory Jingle

Notable is the fact that the introductory jingle for this section, performed live vocally by Ricky Gervais each podcast, is often remarkably similar to the theme from "Monkey News":

Podcast Series 1
Episodes 8 and 9 had no introductory jingle
Episode 10 - "Ooooh, Hes written it down! yerff-cc--grr"
Episode 11 - "Ooooh, Whats he written today?! yerff-cc--grr"
Episode 12 - "I don't believe it! Hes written it down! yerff-cc--grr"
Podcast Series 2
Episode 1 - "Ooooh, Chimpanzee that! Hes only gone and written it down! yerff-cc--grr"
Episode 2 - "Ooooh, Chimpanzee that! Hes written it down again!"
Episode 3 - "Ooooh, Chimpanzee that! Hes only gone and written it down, the little..."
Episode 4 - "Ooooh, Chimpanzee that! Hes gone and written it down again! BUKK!!!"
Episode 5 - "Ooooh, Chimpanzee that! Hes written it down again, you fucking..."
Episode 6 - "Ooooh, I don't believe it! Hes written it DOWN! Errrrrrrrr..."
Podcast Series 3
Episode 1 - *quickly* "Ooooh, I don't believe it! Hes only gone and written it down!"
Episode 2 - "Ooooh, Hes only gone and written it down! The little..."

Memorable Diary Moments

• A wristwatch that counts down the remainder of your life, but Karl is unsure if it would know if you are going to die in a plane crash. When questioned on how it would work, Karl responds "just pop it on your wrist."
• The large number of cross-eyed people at the hotel on Gran Canaria and the cat licking its bollocks outside the pub.
• The owner of the café called Tattoo's in Gran Canaria had no tattoos, but Karl never saw his wife.
• Karl refused to wash his hands after eating lemon cake at Ricky's house leading to a major argument.
• Karl thinking that both him and Ricky Gervais are bored when they go to meeting, as "after twenty minutes [Ricky] was trying to wrestle me".
• Suzanne told Karl to come and meet her at the supermarket. Karl went to the supermarket and couldn't find her. Turns out, Suzanne was was at a different supermarket.
• Karl's idea for a television program 'Look What We Can Do With Science' in which parts of a person's body are gradually removed and replaced with machines, until just the head the remains from the original body.
• The post Karl received that was addressed to Mr K. Dilkington.
• The time Karl was carrying a lamp and bin when moving house on the same day as the London Marathon, and people thought he was doing a fun run.
• The tongue twister "if you can't treat a cheerful tramp, what sort of tramp can you treat?"
• That certain tribes of cavemen wave their "tackle" about when they've had enough of visitors
• The mirrored wall in Karl's flat that he has stuck wallpaper over, becasue he couldn't be bothered to try and take it down.

The diary itself is a large desk diary and is usually read by Stephen Merchant.