Ricky Gervais Quotes By Topic

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This a collection of opinions and quotes by Ricky Gervais listed by topic. Click here to see Ricky Gervais Quotes By Date.

Ricky to Karl

"There is no way! A monkey launched a rocket!! You idiot!"
-Podcast Series 1, Episode One

(Making a chimp sound) "a-a.. You go for the nose.. a-a-a I'll go for his bollocks a-a-a-a-a-a"
-Podcast Series 1, Episode Three

"Go wash your hands, after licking your hands - you're not a cat!"

"So what you're really doing is watching another bloke wank?"

"Karl, you're an idiot!"

"Don't talk shit."

"You've got a head like a fucking orange..."

"Robin's arms are podgy and very white. They look sort of inflated so they have no shape or features like fat sausages." - While reading a diary he made on Robin Ince on the commentary of Politics

"Once, first thing in the morning 10 am, Robin came into work 'Writing and Talkback'. He turned up with a big coffee. We got ours for free! Then he spilt it all over his genitals, testicle and penis." "Do you remember that?" "And went mental! And more mental when I laughed. He said to Steve "Isn't it fucking annoying when someone laughs at other people's misfortune?". This made me and Steve laugh. He kicked Steve's bag as he stormed out. Steve went "Steady on!". When he came back we'd discovered he had kicked some of the tiles of the wall in the toilet! He had to stay in his tight wet coffee groin till 2 am that night. He had a bad gig at 1 am. And that's the first day!" - While reading a diary he made on Robin Ince on the commentary of Politics

"Oh sorry I thought it was shite, I didn't know it was on the internet."- Xfm Show 19 October 2002

Ricky as a Kid

"I say 'tube'..."