11 June 2005

Notable Quotes from today's show:

Wedding

"It's a bit boring innit? But you've got to do it. It'll be a great day for them but I know what'll happen. Suzanne'll see all the fuss and that and she'll get ideas and I'll have to let her down..." [listen] [download]

Yoghurt

"He said 'In the future, they reckon we'll be able to wake up and eat a yoghurt you can have a chat with'."

Evolution

"It went... D'you know what I mean? It was bacteria, it was fish, mermaid, man..."

Nudists

"Not a problem thouhg is it? It's not like being scared of spiders where they might jump out of the kitchen sink at you..."

God

"He made man out of dust - just 'cos he could, he's having a laugh - then he made her out of one of his ribs - likes to vary it a little bit - they had two sons, which gave rise to the entire human race. What was going on there then?"

Babooshka

"I wouldn't pick Babooshka. That's a ridiculous name. That wouldn't have worked anyway - you just get a vision in your head. I wouldn't have answered a letter from someone called Babooshka."

Rockbusters

"You're asked if you want that bit of the egg. You think about it, but decide against it. What's going on there?"

Charity

"Two months later, got another package. Picture of June in there again - she's got a tan! They're saying you're paying to keep her warm, I didn't know they meant a week in Majorca."

Cuisine

"I'll tell you what happens, you go in there you have some kind of Thai green curry for lunch, you're asleep by one thirty, we're trying to work, we're trying to write TV shows and you're dozing off like one of those giant anacondas that's just eaten a sheep!"

Intercept

"Obviously what happened is, Suzanne has sent you an e-mail in the week and you've returned it, but you're returned it to the wrong address, you've returned it to someone here who of course immediately forwarded it to my agent..."

Odd

"Well who'd want to eat that? It's like a Mac Burger, McChicken, McFly. I don't want it. Put it back."

Monkeynews

"He believes it. He believes every word he's saying. Remember when you hear this, whatever it is, this twaddle - he believes it."