Dictionary of Karl Pilkington

Karl has a unique way of speaking. Karl's idiolect is made up of old-fashioned sayings, Mancunian slang, and correct English that has been misspoken. Below are examples of Karl's one-of-a-kind speech.

A

• 'Airy - hairy: 'airy Chinese kid
• Alrigh' - hello / how are you? / great / good / okay / not great. Sense is determined by tone and context.
• An' tha' - usually meaningless, sometimes meaning etcetera.
• Annoyed - any of various degrees of irritation. One of the very few feelings Karl identifies.
• Aphrodite - Hermaphrodite

B

• Baba - Babylonian: Evertonians are from Everton, so Babylonians are from Baba.
• Badder - worse: then it got a bit badder.
• Blokage - manliness, Signs that one is a man: "When meeting a tranny, you should look for signs of blokage"
• Bom boms - bon bons.
• Boswell - Roswell (New Mexico)
• Bungled in - bundled in: I don't wanna be bungled in
• Bung on - put on: "I'll bung a song on then"
• Boo-boo - pooh-pooh: You've boo-boo'd the idea of..
• Bum tube - enema, colonic irrigation: No bum tubes though.
• Bozwollocks - boswellox: not a good name for an ingredient like sodium

C

• Clackering - a bad beating: Leroy gave us a right good clackerin'.
• Clive Warren - Clive Owen
• Condensity - consistency: Tic Tacs have a similar condensity to kitty litter
• Crop/croppage - crops: too much fruit about, so just crop
• Cropping - ploughing fields: who's gonna do the cropping?

D

• Demmicky - not proper: the thing is, right, if you have a lot of something, you also have a lot of demick ones, don't you...
• Drawned - drawn: you're more drawned to things that keep your eyes interested

E

• Effin' 'n' jeffin' - swearing: me brother was effin' 'n' jeffin' all the time
• Egypt bloke - Egyptian
• Elephantitis - Elephantiasis; or some similar condition as that suffered by Joseph Merrick (The Elephant Man), who is believe to have suffered some combination of neurofibromatosis type I and Proteus syndrome.

F

• Face rub - facial: ...just a posh face wash
• Flumpf - rubbish / superficial: They want some- some, sort of - flumpf telly, that they don't have to think about.
• Foodage - food: Whether it's a potato or a nut, it's a foodage.
• Forrest Gump - disabled person: me dad put a Forrest Gump in a wheelie bin
• Frightenedness - fear: he had a look of frightendness on his face
• Fuckerage - problems: it's added to the fuckerage.

G

• Glunge - wet muck / filth: I was up to my shoulder Steve, in like- glunge
• Gozzin' - spitting: the octopus was gozzin' about everywhere
• Greenness - primitive life form. "In the beginning, air created the greenness"
• Grippage - grip: there's a lot of grippage on the side of the building

H

• Havin' it away - having sex: we were on holiday, and we were havin' it away an' that...

K

• Kidded - tricked: "It's like your brain is being kidded"
• Knockin' about - around, in the area: turned out.. a monkey was knockin' about
• Kusabi - wasabi: I'm serving some right rubbish tonight, give 'em some of that kusabi

L

• Learn - learn / teach: I'll learn you something there
• Limsy - cross between limp and flimsy.
• Little fella - a man, not necessarily little.
• Little gay fella - homosexual male: there was this little gay fella...

M

• Me - me / my. A consciousness exogenous to one's brain: Am I me or me brain?
• Miminalistic - minimalistic: A coupla years back, people went miminalistic
• Molish - a characteristic of people who live underground
• Moly - covered in moles: "Auntie Nora's back is moly"
• Monkey - any non-human primate, usually a chimpanzee
• Mongs - mongoloids / mongooses
• Moped over - slumped, slouched: moped over in a wheelchair

O

• Otherness - other, more evolved forms of life than greenness. "From the greenness came otherness"
• Our kid - brother or sister
• Oven - Karls excuse to prove Suzanne wrong, as he had to pay an £80 call out charge for a broken fuse, which he could have easily fixed. Suzanne: Karl, call someone out. Karl: Oven

P

• Palaco - alpaca: It doesn't want to be somewhere else. It's where it was. And that's the same with this palaco, or whatever.
• Papa People - natives of Papua New Guinea: these Papa People, right...
• Pikelet - a thin crumpet
• Plunge things - ear plugs
• Probleming - troubling, causing problems: Whilst I'm sat here [my legs] are not probleming me

R

• Remembered - reminded: now that you've remembered me that...
• Replemishing - replenishing: I needed to replemish 'cos I was so tired
• Rum 'un - wrong 'un, ne'er-d'well: she was a rum 'un
• Rummanging - rummaging: he started rummanging

S

• Squoze - squeezed; squeeze (past imperfect): he came in at one o'clock and squoze it then!
• Squozed - squeezed; squeeze (past perfect): That's before the stress of, you know, having heads squozed an' that
• Scruffily - in a scruffy, disorganized manner
• Sluggage - slug or slug matter
• Stressed out - stressed one of the few feelings Karl can identify
• Stylish way - new style of writing in which the pages are all out of order
• Suzanne - Karl's girlfriend

T

• Tenseness - tension: you've got a lot of tenseness there
• Ting - to rattle or bounce in a metallic fashion: you could hear one tingin' its way up the tube
• Tink - to knock glasses together
• Thetht - theft, robbin'
• Thump - to hit, to punch
• Tight - careful with money; not generous.
• Tubberware - tupperware: yeah, the plastic boxes
• Testerone - testosterone

U

• uncomfy: uncomfortable.
• uppered - promoted: they get sort of... what's the word... sort of uppered too early
• Ugerly - Ugly. "I heard we're all gonna go ugerly."

W

• webbage - web: "...floating around on a bit of webbage"
• wewe - an old female ghost with drooping breasts: I said she might end up becoming a wewe.
• What's-her-name: When Karl can't find the right word he says this, whether it's a woman, man, place, event etc. "I went to what's-her-name.. barley street"
• whop - (to whop), to remove from covering: she whopped 'em out and he started suckin' on 'em an' that
• willy-nillily - carefree: but you just said it willy-nillily
• World - The Earth - "The Earth is our world; Its the World"
• worry hole - the part of the brain that casts doubt: Everyone's got to fill that worry hole with worried.
• wroted - written: someone had wroted - uh!

X

• XFM - the radio station Karl was dicovered on