Series 3 Episode 6

Disclaimer: This summary is not intended as a substitute or replacement for this podcast or material such as The World of Karl Pilkington, rather it is intended as an archive for reference on its content and information surrounding it.

Podcast Series 3 August 2006 - September 2006 List of episodes

Episodes: Series 3 Episode 1 - 22 August 2006 Series 3 Episode 2 - 29 August 2006 Series 3 Episode 3 - 5 September 2006 Series 3 Episode 4 - 12 September 2006 Series 3 Episode 5 - 19 September 2006 Series 3 Episode 6 - 26 September 2006

In this final podcast, Karl has a new fan, Steve poses questions about philosophy to Karl, and Karl talks more about his time in the hospital with kidney stones.

Track Listing

1. The Little Fella (0:00)

Steve tells Karl about a new celebrity who is a fan of his, Warwick Davis, who worked with Ricky and Steve on Extras. He would love to meet Karl, but Karl’s worried about meeting someone who “is not normal.” He thinks it would be like the first time he met Steve when he was shocked by his appearance. Warwick wonders what Karl thinks about little people and Karl talked about seeing one when he was on jury duty. If Karl could choose to be really small or really tall, he’d rather be small. Karl keeps referring to Warwick as Warren.

2. Book of Freaks (4:24)

Karl got a new freaks book sent to him. It has a three breasted woman and a man with one face and two bodies who looked fed up. One thing was so weird it didn’t even have a nickname; it had “sort of testicles for eyes.” He’s surprised he doesn’t see people with dangly eyes more often.

3. Philosophical Questions (8:06)

People have been emailing philosophical questions for Karl to answer. The first is “Are all men created equal?” Karl doesn’t think people should moan if they don’t get the job. The next question asks if he believes that history is written by the victors. Karl thinks we should just let everyone have a book. Another person asks if Karl thinks the future is fixed and you can’t change it. Karl thinks it’s weird that his kidney stone was made up of calcium because he doesn’t like corn flakes; he thinks his body is telling him not to have calcium.

4. The Boswell Incident (16:19)

Steve reads another entry from Karl’s diary. He’s been back in the hospital for his kidney stones. Suzanne made Karl a meal from scratch for his “last meal” which annoyed him because he had more dishes to do. He was worried that when he was stripped down on the operating table he looked like an alien. The man in the room with him kept breaking wind and didn’t even try to cover it up by coughing. Back at home Karl was in so much pain he had to go back to the hospital. They took a cab and the driver stopped for gas on the way which annoyed Karl. He saw a gay nurse and thought the chance of having a tablet up his bum had increased, but he didn’t care.

5. Karl on Morphine (23:32)

The weirdest thing that happened to Karl in hospital was when the telly woke him up after he had morphine and it said, “Karl, received bad news about your father.” It turned out to be a review of the show Neighbours. Karl wrote a poem about the trauma he experienced in the hospital. Ricky likes the poem because of how Karl digresses even in his poems. Karl thinks this qualifies as a big event for his diary and he hopes it will be as highly regarded as other famous diaries.

6. Famous Last Words (27:43)

According to Karl, you say different things when you’re ill. He told a woman she looked different with a hat on right before he went under. Earlier, the same woman went around his room asking about his allergies. Karl thought it was strange that those might have been his final words.

7. Always Leave Them Wanting More (29:36)

Ricky says goodbye and thanks everyone for purchasing the podcasts. Ricky wonders if they should retire from podcasting, but he leaves the possibility for more podcasts in the future open-ended.

8. Bonus Monkey News (30:45)

In a town somewhere awhile ago, a barrel used to appear in a village that contained a fruit drink. This was back when people only drank water. They only ate fruit back then, they didn’t drink it. Visitors to the village loved it, but they couldn’t sell it because they didn’t know where it came from. Word got out and a businessman from Chicago came in and wanted to find out where they got it. At night he saw a little fella and he followed him back to where they made it. Presumably the fruit drink was made by monkeys.

Karl’s Poem

Me Ward

Me, a Chinese fella and an old bloke,

Who looked like Mr Burns from 'The Simpsons',

Don't know what was wrong with him,

But breaking wind was the symptoms.

No one visited him or called him.

He seemed quite lost to me.

As well as wind problems,

He had a colostomy.

When I left,

I said "see ya" to the old man.

Turned out the other fella wasn't Chinese,

He was from Japan.

I never found out what was up with him.

Quotes

Karl: If I lived with the little fella I’m sure we’d get down a storm.

Steve: (reading from Karl’s diary) I would have looked like the alien from the Boswell incident.

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