04 January 2003/Transcript
This is a transcript of the 04 January 2003 episode, from Xfm Series 2
Can't Believe Our Luck
Ricky: Alright. Here we are then.
Steve: Haha.
R: Haha. Scorpio Rising, Death in Vegas. On XFM, 104.9. Bout five past one, Saturday. Here we are again then. Ricky Gervais, Steve Merchant, Karl Pilkington.
S laughs.
R: I can't believe our luck. Aww..
R laughs.
R Alright, Karl?
Karl: Alright.
R Yep. So what we doing today then, _producer_?
S Ha! Ah, sorry I always laugh instinctively when I hear Karl's name and that word.
R Yeah.
K Right well, why's that? Because, it is... I had to come up with some new features again for this new year.
S Okay, I'm excited.
K What have you come up with?
S Haha. We are the backbone of this show, Karl.
R Yeah, we're gunna... we'll tell you.. we've come up with some pretty.. what's yours first?
K Right.
R Go on.
K Right well, Rockbusters.
R That's old. That's not a new feature.
K Yeah but we'll keep it.
R Right.
S So you're just keeping an old feature.
R Okay. No it's an old favourite, I'm sure there's alot of people out there going, 'phew I was worried that he'd lose Rockbusters'.
S Rick, I've just come up with a new idea, how about we just play some records that we like. There's a new idea for 2003.
R Yeah.
S laughs.
R Oh, d'you know what, we can't, Steve. Cause the library's out of order.
S Oh yeah the record library we can't get in there, we're not allowed to get in there.
R We have to scrounge some from Capitol Gold.
K So anyway, right.
R Go on.
K So we've got Rockbusters.
R What are they doing with the library, are they getting some records in that we wanna play. Is that their new idea? I know, let's get some records in.
S Yeah they're thinning out the, uh, the Gina G.
R Yeah, yeah. Four Non-Blondes, goodbye. Give that to Foxie. Go on, sorry Karl.
K So we'll do, uh.. we started Do We Need 'Em in 2002.
S Do We Need 'Em. Of course.
R Do We Need 'Em.
K We'll continue that.
R Got a new one, haven't ya.
K I'll explain that later.
S/R Yep.
K Uh, and then the new stuff comes in.
R Oooh.
K Right uh, as always I like to sorta get words and tweak 'em and stuff.
S Sure.
R Yeah.
K So I was thinking of doing something with uh.. there's a lot of weird rituals, isn't there.
S A lot of weird rituals?
K Yeah there's weird stuff going on around the world.
S Okay.
R There is, yeah.
K Uh and I was gunna tweak that to Rick-tuals.
S Okay, alright.
R Again, started with the title, the pun first then working out what it is.
K Well we'll find some weird stuff.
S Oh right, so it's specifically..
K Just stuff that goes on like, uh..
S Rick-tuals.
K There was uh..
R Most of the weird stuff I've heard about happened to you in Manchester, in your early years.
S Yeah.
K Well in India apparently it's good to have uh, a flat head.
S/R laugh.
K So the uh..
R Again, just flirting, just bordering on the racist but never really gets there, always, go on.
S Cause there's no intent.
R There's no hate, there's no hate it's just clumsiness.
S It's just yeah, it's just ignorance.
R It's stupidity, yeah.
S What d'you mean 'it's good to have a flat head'.
R What'd'you mean 'it's good to have a flat head in India'?
K We'll talk about it later.
S Brilliant.
K That's Rick-tuals. So..
R You've hooked a few people, you've hooked a few in. Go on.
K Right so we'll have that later.
S So, is this essentially like Educating Ricky only it's specifically about rituals? Is that, strictly speaking, what it is? Okay.
K I suppose so but then you could say radio is all the same 'cause it's people talking.
S Haha, okay Karl, brilliant comeback.
R Yep, brilliant comeback. Not all talking nonsense, though.
K Well..
R So that's where we're different. Go on.
K Uh also right, I like teaching you stuff..
R Yeah, and you've done well..
K So what I'm thinking is rather than just touching on a topic, and sorta giving you a few bits of information on one topic..
R See this is what I've had to do because the last thing you taught me, I remember was there was a blind girl, she hit her head and she could see, and that's all I got.
K Yeah.
R So if you could go into that a little bit more, that would've been educating me.
K Well today we're featuring stuff on World War I and II.
S Blimey.
K Right so that's uh, that little title for all this little thing is, uh, 'War Do You Think of That Then?'
R laughs.
S 'War Do You Think of That Then?'
K So that's uh..
R Play a record.
S Rick, can I, I just thought of a joke.
R Go on.
R What's the similarity between Lord of the Rings and this show? They're both rubbish.
R chuckles.
Song starts.