12 January 2002

Xfm Series 1 November 2001 - May 2002 List of episodes

Episodes: 10 November 2001 (Transcript) 17 November 2001 (Transcript) 24 November 2001 (Transcript) 01 December 2001 (Transcript) 08 December 2001 (Transcript) 15 December 2001 (Transcript) 22 December 2001 (Transcript) 12 January 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.1 19 January 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.2 26 January 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.3 09 February 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.4 16 February 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.5 23 February 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.6 02 March 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.7 09 March 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.8 16 March 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.9 23 March 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.10 30 March 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.11 06 April 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.12 13 April 2002 (Transcript) 20 April 2002 (Transcript) 27 April 2002 (Transcript) 04 May 2002 (Transcript)

A fire breaks out in the Xfm building, Karl explains the history of the baguette and Ricky describes his brief encounter with "The Fizz".

Track Listing

For a full transcript of this episode see 12 January 2002/Transcript

1. Small Man Complex (0:00:00)

Ricky and Steve discuss height issues among actors which non-surprisingly ends up as a discussion of Steve's 6'7" body.

2. Feet On Fire (0:02:48)

Steve explains the disadvantages of being "freakishly tall" but is cut short by a fire alarm.

3. Brrraaaakk Sarge! (0:06:39)

Steve continues telling his New Year's story, where two girls approach him with a question he wasn't expecting.

4. Freaks Of America (0:08:57)

Steve recounts a story of his time in America, in which Ricky notices similarities between his experience and Mr. Benn before moving onto a discussion about sexy cartoon characters.

5. Bootlegs (0:13:38)

Ricky and Steve endorse piracy, then make a mockery of a rival station's DJ.

6. Then We're All Shafted (0:16:02)

Steve and Karl discuss astronomy, and Ricky instantly dismisses Karl's information on the history of the baguette.

7. Secret Of The Century (0:20:57)

Amendments to the previous pasty discussion and baguette report are coupled with terrible French accents. Karl proceeds to give advice on how to test if you're being poisoned.

8. Ice-Based Laxative (0:26:05)

Ricky's mate overheard a heated argument between a married couple whilst on holiday and Karl tries to justify the husband's actions.

9. A Modern Stone Age Family (0:29:59)

Ricky and Steve discuss the social situations of prehistoric man then make fun of an 80 stone American.

10. Seona Dancing Meets... (0:35:41)

Ricky explains how Bucks Fizz tried to smuggle his 80s band through customs on a flight to Newcastle.

11. Criss-Cross (0:41:51)

Steve attempts to show off by tempting Ricky and Karl to ask him questions about an embargoed film.

Quotes

Steve: She hangs around with a dog.
Ricky: Do lesbians do that?
Steve: Well have you seen some lesbians? They're right dogs. Goodnight!

Ricky: How old are you?
Karl: ...29.
Ricky: So you were just coming out of your teens---
Karl: I'm a Virgo.
Ricky: ... No, no, that... No, you don't understand, it's... Just... "I'm a Virgo" ?

Karl: Were you a tall baby?

Playlist

P.O.D - Alive
Muse - Plug In Baby
Mercury Rev - The Dark is Rising
Happy Mondays - Step On
Hip-Hop Hooray: N.E.R.D. - Bobby James
The Hives - Hate To Say I Told You So
Song For The Lovers: Radiohead - Let Down
The Avalanches - Frontier Psychiatrist
Ash - There's A Star
A Song That I Like: Patti Smith - Gloria
The Dandy Warhols - Bohemian Like You
Hundred Reasons - I'll Find You
That Film Sounds Good: Elton John - Tiny Dancer
Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - Love Burns
Song For The Ladies: The Rolling Stones - Wild Horses