Karl Pilkington

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Karl Pilkington
Alright?
Date of Birth	September 23, 1972
Place of Birth	Manchester, England
Education	Ashton-on-Mersey School
Occupation	former head of production Xfm radio, comedian, author
Partner	Suzanne Whiston
Parents	Unknown

Karl Pilkington (born September 23, 1972 in Manchester, UK) is an English radio producer previously best known for producing The Ricky Gervais Show on the radio station Xfm. After leaving Xfm, Pilkington reached an international audience through his appearances with Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant on The Ricky Gervais Show.

Childhood

Many of Karl's anecdotes are centered around his childhood. Several stories are so ingrained in Pilkington fandom that even the people and places in them have become notorious. During the time of the Xfm shows these anecdotes were a prime source of Karl's comedic ammunition, causing his co-presenters to be captivated, amazed, and roaring with laughter at the stories he told from his past.

School

Karl lived in Manchester for most of his life. His descriptions of his childhood suggest this was an unconventional upbringing. Growing up on a council estate, he was educated at Ashton-on-Mersey School but was regularly absent due to family holidays. These were arranged by his parents during term-time when it was cheaper to do so. He claims that during his school years he was given two attendance awards in an attempt to persuade him to remain in school. This strategy failed, and Karl continued his excessive absences. He now contends that he was never encouraged by his teachers and was even told by one that he would "never be a high flyer." Moreover, he disliked school because all of his teachers were "profiting" from his education and complains that in class he was regularly given menial and pointless tasks, such as attaching as many stickers to Thomson brochures as possible in 30 minutes.

One year, Karl participated in his school's Christmas production. He was playing the drums and had to wear a little hat. Whilst sat at his drums he started tapping along to "Little Donkey" (although he wasn't supposed to) and the crowd went wild.

Karl's school was near a nuclear power plant. This might explain the large number of "weird looking" pupils there, including two students who had big heads and webbed hands. Karl claimed they were unrelated and that they were not friends because that would be "too obvious." Another boy at the school had a "pigeon's chest". These early childhood memories may help explain Karl's inherent fascination with "freaks."

Near Death Experiences

Karl had a number of near-death experiences as a child. He nearly choked to death on a Mr. Freeze pop, and later revealed that as he was writhing on the kitchen floor struggling to breathe, he was completely at peace with his fate. He almost plummeted to his death one snowy morning when he was forced to climb out of an upstairs window to do his paper round. His mother had locked the front door to stop him from delivering papers in blizzard conditions. The oft-mentioned incident in which Karl "kicked his height" and then fell hard on his back also brought him face to face with his own mortality. There is also the infamous "bad cream" affair, in which Karl got a stomachache after consuming too many day-old cakes. The family doctor, after being told that Karl had overindulged on tainted sweets, facetiously told his mom that he didn't have long to live. The joke went over the heads of Karl's parents and caused quite a panic until Karl's dad called the doctor later to clarify. And in 2006 Karl underwent a routine operation to have kidney stones removed. Yet, throughout the experience he felt as though he were hovering between life and death.

GCSE Results

Karl left school without collecting his exam results. On an Xfm show, Karl recalled that he had taken multiple exams, but could not remember exactly which ones. He thought he had done art, maths, and a few others. After some investigation, Ricky Gervais revealed on live radio that Karl had attained a single "E" GCSE grade in History. This came as a surprise to Karl as he had no recollection of actually taking that particular exam. The "excitement" of this news was tempered somewhat by the discovery that he had not received grades for any of the GCSEs he did remember taking. Unfortunately, he hadn't registered for those exams.

Jobs

Karl went through a number of jobs as a child, his favourite being his paper round. To this day, he claims that this was the best job he ever held. The main reason he enjoyed it was because he was his own boss. When Steve pointed out that the newsagent was technically his boss, Karl replied with "nah," maintaining his original opinion.

Karl also had a job in a local grocers called "Cordon Bleu". He did not particularly excel at his position. Once when stocking packages of chicken, a drumstick fell out onto the ground. Karl, rationalizing that someone might just want one chicken drumstick, labeled it with a price and stocked it on the shelf. His superiors were upset at this but did not fire him. On another occasion, Karl sat in a trolley and pushed himself into a puddle in the back lot. He ended up stranded, unable to get out in fear of getting his new trainers wet. When his manager told him to get out or he would lose his job, Karl refused and he was sacked on the spot. He sat in the puddle for 45 minutes further before he decided to get out. Taking a giant leap, he hopped out only getting one foot wet.

Family

Over the years, Karl has described the various colorful characters of his extended family in vivid detail. Karl's dad is portrayed as a very impatient and short-tempered man. While working as a bus driver, he had difficulty controlling a mentally challenged passenger, so he decided to place the child in a wheelie bin. He also once dropped a group of elderly women off on the side of the road because they were too demanding, and was subsequently fired. Karl's dad isn't described as being particularly warm or supportive of his children. He once called Karl the "twat in the hat" while watching him perform in a school play. It has also been revealed that Karl's dad regularly steals from the other residents of the Welsh retirement community in which he lives.

Karl's mom is notable for her strange behavior towards pets. When one of the family budgies died, she glued some of its feathers to a rock and placed it in the cage to keep the other one company. She also dealt with a frequently ill cat by shaving it, thus making it easier to clean. She was somewhat overprotective of Karl in his youth. She once made him stay home from school because it was "windy," and on another occasion she locked him in the house to stop him from doing his paper round while it was snowing.

Karl has an older brother and sister from whom he appears to be estranged. His brother, Mark, is something of a womanizer, and throughout Karl's youth strange women would come to their home claiming that Mark had gotten them pregnant. Mark also served in the British Army, but was discharged after he drove a tank to a nearby store to buy cigarettes. Karl once ran into his sister in a parking lot, but their reunion was somewhat hampered by his refusal to look at a picture of her newborn son. (Karl thinks that all babies look the same.)

Karl's most infamous family member is his Auntie Nora. Karl recalled that on one occasion she phoned Karl's mother complaining that she had been breaking wind for five minutes. When Karl was a child, he accidentally glimpsed up her dress. He has remarked on multiple occasions that her genitalia resembled "a split tennis ball." Her other antics include wanting an astro-turf lawn and putting a valance on everything.

Career

Before Ricky and Steve

Karl went to work as a printer after leaving school at age 15, and was made to work a 24-hour shift pressing CD's for the band Smokey. He partly attributes his baldness to this grueling schedule. Karl also briefly hosted an overnight phone-in show on a Manchester radio station where he was something of an agony uncle. (No audio from this stint has yet become available.) He later moved on to work as Head of Production at London radio station XFM, a job he held for eleven years. It was here that he met long-time girlfriend Suzanne and where he would first cross paths with Ricky and Steve. Karl was given the job of producing their second run of shows at the station, shortly after the first series of The Office ran on BBC2. At first he merely "pressed the buttons," but his quirky antics and unique worldview soon prompted Gervais and Merchant to bring him on the air.

On-Air

Karl began his on-air role by occasionally interjecting during the Xfm show co-hosted by Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant. As more of his anecdotes and opinions were revealed, he became more of a focal point of the show. Eventually, he began to take part in and create segments. The first bit that focused on Karl was White Van Karl where Karl spoke his thoughts on current events and minor news stories. Karl began creating his own segments after awhile such as Educating Ricky, Monkey News, and Rockbusters. With these bits Karl's relative status on the show grew, arguably up until the point where it was his show. After the end of the XFM show, Karl remained part of the trio, giving up his position as head of production at Xfm to make podcasts with Ricky and Steve.

Karl also participated in several radio shows with Russell Brand on BBC6 Music. Three shows aired after Christmas with Karl and Russell substituting for another DJ. Another show aired in April. No further shows were produced. It has been speculated, but unconfirmed, that the show was discontinued due to Karl's contract obligations with Ricky. Russell Brand remained on BBC6 music with and later moved onto BBC Radio 2 (which Karl once was guest on over the phone). Brand has recalled his stint with Karl with affection but also described Karl as "difficult to work with" at the same time.

TV Appearances

Karl has made several appearances on Flipside TV during the Xfm years. In line with the show's format, Karl commented on various television programs, mainly staying focused on shows featuring the paranormal and oddities. In a later radio show, Ricky claimed Karl quit participating in the program because he did not like the fact that his parents or relatives might be watching him.

In August 2006, Karl created four short films for 3 Minute Wonder, a documentary shorts strand that follows Channel 4 News on weekdays. The segments were titled Some Thoughts by Karl Pilkington and were essentially Karl's musings and observations on subjects like life, travel, health, and animals. Locations include a museum, in a tent while camping, his house, and the zoo.

Podcasts

Karl was undoubtably the star of the podcasts in which he appeared alongside Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant. The first series ran from 5th December 2005, for 12 weeks, with one episode being released each monday. At the time the podcasts were being released, Karl had quit his job as Head of Production at Xfm, recieving a digital camera as his leaving present, which he promptly gave to his long-term girlfriend, Suzanne.

The show featured e-mails containing questions and facts sent in for Karl to answer or react to, at Gervais' and Merchant's mirth, due to his ability to take the wrong argument from any infomation given. The podcasts were a step up in the amount of talk-time Karl is given when compared with the Xfm shows, he is now the centre-piece rather than producer/co-presenter.

Ricky Gervais: "It shouldn't be called the Ricky Gervais Show, it should be called the Karl Pilkington show, i mean it's ridiculous, i'm so lazy, i just turn up now and prod him."

Books

Book Info	Cover	Synopsis (from Amazon)
The World of Karl Pilkington Published: Fall 2006		This is a collection of the best moments from the "Ricky Gervais Show" podcasts - the world's number one podcast - with additional musings and original drawings by Karl Pilkington, the show's unlikely star. In this pithy and hilarious book, Karl is in conversation with (the often bewildered) Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant, the writers and stars of "The Office" and "Extras", outwitting even these comedy Goliaths with his take on such contentious issues as charity, the lack of Chinese homeless people, re-incarnation, the rights of monkeys and favourite superpowers. Featuring Karl's original illustrations, imaginative scribblings, full colour pictures sent in by fans, the best conversations of the first 12 podcasts, and to be published alongside the second series of the internationally acclaimed and Guinness Record-winning "Ricky Gervais Podcast Show" (downloaded over 4,000,000 times - the most popoular podcast ever), this is a unique trip into the world of one of our most innovative thinkers, visionaries and prophets, or as Gervais and Merchant know him, 'the funniest man alive in Britain today'.
Happyslapped by a Jellyfish Not Yet Published		A hilarious guide to travelling, from the man behind The World of Karl Pilkington - one of our most innovative thinkers, visionaries and prophets, or as Ricky Gervais knows him, 'the funniest man alive in Britain today'. Pack your suitcase and take an irreverent trip with the unlikely star of "The Ricky Gervais Podcast Show", Karl Pilkington, to the furthest corners of Europe. From sunbathing in t-shirts and lizards the length of Toblerones, to a toxic apartment in Ibiza with a used loo that can't be flushed - these witty musings could put you off travelling forever! Gain insight into the curious life of this comic genius from pithy anecdotes. Find out about his mum's obsession with keeping gnomes indoors and his experiences getting high on dope chocolate, to his childhood dentist who filled his perfect back teeth to give them 'extra protection'. This book features Pilkington's original illustrations and imaginative scribblings.

Quotes and Opinions

Main Article: Karl Pilkington Quotes

As well as his specific views, ideas and philosophies, Karl also has particular way of speaking. Karl's idiolect is made up of old-fashioned sayings (eg. "have it away"), Mancunian slang (eg. "knockin' about"), and correct English that has been misspoken (eg. "squoze"). Here are some more examples:

"Bit weird, innit" -the only conclusion Karl is often capable of.
"Effin' and jeffin'" -used regularly as slang for swearing.
"Foodage" -used to describe food as a general term.
"Have it away" -Karl's euphemism for sex.
"Sick of it" -how Karl expresses frustration.
"...an' that" -added to the end of almost every statement.
"Little gay fella" -how Karl usually describes homosexuals.
"Little chinese fella" -how Karl usually describes the Chinese.
"Papa People" -how Karl describes people from Papua New Guinea.
"Bungled" -a mispronunciation of the word "bundled".
"Grippage" -an adjective to describe a wall or surface that has a good grip.
"Squoze" -past tense of the verb to squeeze.
"Webbage" -used to describe a spider's web.
"Wroted" -past tense of the verb to write.
"Rumminging" -a mispronunciation of the word "rummaging".
"Croppage" -plural of a crop grown on a farm or on a new planet.
"Little wheelchair fella" -how Karl describes paraplegics.
"Pancake Tuesdee" -Shrove Tuesday or Pancake Day as it is known in the UK.
"Uppered" - how Karl described being promoted

References

The Russell Brand Show - BBC6 Music - 2006/08/13
The Russell Brand Show - BBC6 Music - 2006/06/11

External Links