23 February 2002

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Xfm Series 1
November 2001 - May 2002
List of episodes

Episodes:

  1. 10 November 2001 (Transcript)
  2. 17 November 2001 (Transcript)
  3. 24 November 2001 (Transcript)
  4. 01 December 2001 (Transcript)
  5. 08 December 2001 (Transcript)
  6. 15 December 2001 (Transcript)
  7. 22 December 2001 (Transcript)
  8. 12 January 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.1
  9. 19 January 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.2
  10. 26 January 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.3
  11. 09 February 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.4
  12. 16 February 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.5
  13. 23 February 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.6
  14. 02 March 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.7
  15. 09 March 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.8
  16. 16 March 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.9
  17. 23 March 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.10
  18. 30 March 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.11
  19. 06 April 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.12
  20. 13 April 2002 (Transcript)
  21. 20 April 2002 (Transcript)
  22. 27 April 2002 (Transcript)
  23. 04 May 2002 (Transcript)

Track Listing

For a full transcript of this episode see 23 February 2002/Transcript

1. Posh Toffs Coming or 9000 Points to Cut Peter Stringfellow’s Hair (0:00:00)

2. The Twat In the Hat or The Pork Pie Gone Awry (0:03:08)

Suzanne's unaware of Karl's new fame - Little Donkey + drums story / "Knocking" noise sent into space to contact aliens "Oggy, Oggy, Oggy" / Little Donkey 'went down such a storm' - Karl's dad: "film it, but try and avoid getting the twat in the hat in the shot".

3. What were the Things in Gremlins? or Right Van Man (0:09:23)

White Van Man/Karl - "If my girlfriend's listening now, go and have a wash or something" / Kylie vs Dido @ Brits - "doesn't really matter does it?" // Kylie + Jenny Powell = good looking old women // Taxes rising - Karl's Dad in hospital opening to way to Karl's radio debut on hospital radio // Real life Mowgli living in Transylvania - "What were the things in Gremlins called?".

4. Mark and James or Skoe and Belch (0:14:20)

Posh lads doing a scavenger hunt.

  • White Van Man/Karl (cont.) - British Olympic Curling Team // World's tallest man living in Neasden - "bit weird they've only just found him" - Jaws from James Bond has an illness which is "called tall" caused by tumor behind the eyes "needs to get it sorted"// Global warming = big spiders, snakes are deaf so you're alright walking behind them, "Saw something in the news in week that a load of sparrows or something were somewhere", "That's an interesting story".

Pretentious song titles, elitist music listeners // the video to Enrique Inglesias' Hero.

  • Song For the Lovers - "He's written such brilliant classics with his lovely arse" and "just to tickle him down below"; Jimmy Webb - If These Walls Could Speak.

Karl applying for job at Granada TV - application form, languages = "English, pretty good" On whether he got the job: "I don't think I've got it". Well-known dictator - "Flobbadan Milosevic". Karl never received his GCSE results. Ian Wright programme - snakes don't have ears; creep up and pick them up; "how do you put a snake down?". Day of GCSE results - KP working at printers; when using gold ink, you "have to get your rollers really clean".

The book 'They Died Young' - about people that aren't really dead // Bruce Lee faked his death - working for the government in hong kong as undercover cop "if you're gonna use someone undercover in Hong Kong, I suggest using the most famous Chinaman of all time", "you look a bit like Bruce Lee" - "No I don't, see this moustache?" KP - "Not trying to offend anyone here, but they do all look the sa-" RG - "RIGHT! NO NO NO! ...I'm so sorry".

  • Hip Hop Hooray - Dilated Peoples give a shout out to Steve; Dilated Peoples - Worst Comes To Worst.

Is Elvis really dead?

Stars In Their Eyes - Ian Moore aka 'Chris de Burgh' / Steve claims he wrote Lady In Red to a music lawyer.

  • Song For the Lovers: Tom Waits - Ol' 55


Quotes

Playlist

  • Nirvana - Man Who Sold The World
  • Princess Superstar - Bad Babysitter
  • Ash - ?
  • Starsailor - Poor Misguided Fool
  • The Streets - Let's Push Things Forward
  • Lostprophets - Fake Sound of Progress
  • Gomez - Shot Shot
  • Jimmy Webb - If These Walls Could Speak
  • The Cure - ?
  • PJ Harvey - ?
  • Hundred Reasons - If I Could
  • Dilated Peoples - Worst Comes To Worst
  • The Smiths - There Is A Light That Never Goes Out
  • Tom Waits - Ol' 55


Extras

Download

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Presenters Ricky Gervais | Stephen Merchant | Karl Pilkington
Others Claire Sturgess | Ian Camfield | Simon Pegg | Nick Frost
Features Monkey News | Rockbusters | Song For The Ladies | Song For The Lovers
Hip-Hop Hooray | Cheap as Chimps | White Van Karl | Songs of Phrase
Cheeky Freak of the Week | Do We Need 'Em? | More...