23 February 2002
 November 2001 - May 2002 List of episodes |
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Episodes:
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Track Listing
| For a full transcript of this episode see 23 February 2002/Transcript |
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1. 9000 Points to Cut Peter Stringfellow’s Hair (0:00:00)
Intros sound like show-as-usual this week, until Ricky says he's allowing two "trendy toffs" to come on the show live on-air to raise money for a cancer charity scavenger hunt, for which they get 17,000 points.
2. The Twat In the Hat (0:03:08)
Ricky gives away some of the secrets of modern radio, Suzanne newly learns about Karl's fame, "Shave and a Haircut" knocking sent into space to contact aliens, "Oggy, Oggy, Oggy", first telling of the Little Donkey story.
3. Right Van Man(0:09:23)
Call Steve at home if you want his opinion on hip hop, White Van Man questions about Kyle vs Dido, taxes rising to pay for NHS improvements is OK by Karl because his dad was in hospital once (where Karl got his first gig on hospital radio), the infamous "What were the things in Gremlins called?" question.
4. Skoe and Belch (0:14:20)
Posh lads with nicknames doing a scavenger hunt.
5. Snakes are Deaf (0:18:53)
Ricky's doing too much for charity, White Van Man/Karl continues with British Olympic Curling Team, World's tallest man living in Neasden, Global warming. Deaf spiders and a load of sparrows somewhere.
6. Bad Lyrics By Good Artists (0:23:11)
Pretentious song titles, confusion over Enrique Inglesias' Hero video, and an announcement about Karl to come.
7. It's That Point In The Show (0:25:19)
Ricky wants to play classics, Song For the Lovers written with his lovely arse.
8. They Just Wheel You Out (0:26:48)
Karl promos Camfield's nu metal show so Ricky and Steve make Karl turn off his mic.
9. English - Quite Good (0:28:40)
Karl's job application at Granada TV, the well-known European leader "Flobbadan Milosevic", and the big announcement: Karl never received his GCSE results and Ricky and Steve are going to track them down. Karl thinks there's no need to revise. Snakes don't have ears so Karl wonders how you can put them down. Karl had to use gold ink at work the day-of GCSEs.
10. Bruce Lee Is Not Dead (0:36:44)
Bruce Lee faked his death to work as an undercover cop and Karl makes some good old-fashioned racist comments.
11. Ricky Won't Diss Steve or His Black Queen (0:40:48)
Dilated Peoples do a trail for Steve.
12. There Has To Be Shit Involved(0:42:30)
Steve remembers Snoop Dogg lyrics, did Elvis fake his death?
13. I Don't Think You'll be Going Back to the Fish Factory (0:47:47)
Ricky admits he knows what Karl was thinking with his Mowgli comment, Karl would relax Ricky, the low aspirations of Family Fortunes contestants, Ian Moore "Naturally", Ricky insults the Duchess of York and Steve claims he wrote Lady In Red, Song for the Lovers is early pre-gravely Tom Waits.
Quotes
Steve: “And did your Dad, like, while he was listening to you, did he like tap the nurse and go ‘can you get that twat off the air’?”
Karl: “It’s weird that they’ve only found ‘im, 'cause he’s the Tallest Man…”
Ricky: “…he’s written such brilliant classics with his lovely arse as – oh, why did I say that…”
Karl: “I woke up the other night, quite late, and I said to me girlfriend, I said, ‘How do you put a snake down?’”
Steve: “I wouldn’t expect ya to diss me. Or me black queen.”
FBI: Elvis, it’s a good idea. I’m just wondering if there’s maybe something a little bit more…glamorous…for your death. I mean, you could take a bullet for the president.
ELVIS: Huh. Wot? And shit all over him?
FBI: No no no. There’d be no crap at all. No, you just…you could just take a bullet and…
ELVIS: There has to be shit involved.
Playlist
Starsailor - Poor Misguided Fool
Nirvana - Man Who Sold The World
Princess Superstar - Bad Babysitter
Ash - ?
The Streets - Let's Push Things Forward
Lostprophets - Fake Sound of Progress
Gomez - Shot Shot
Song For The Lovers: Jimmy Webb - If These Walls Could Speak
The Cure - ?
PJ Harvey - ?
Hundred Reasons - If I Could
Hip-Hop Hooray: Dilated Peoples - Worst Comes To Worst
The Smiths - There Is A Light That Never Goes Out
Song For The Ladies: Tom Waits - Ol' 55
Download
External Links
YouTube: Enrique Inglesias - Hero
| Series 0 | Series 1 | Series 2 | Series 3 | Series 4 | ||
| Presenters | Ricky Gervais | Stephen Merchant | Karl Pilkington | |
| Others | Claire Sturgess | Ian Camfield | Simon Pegg | Nick Frost | |
| Features | Monkey News | Rockbusters | Song For The Ladies | Song For The Lovers Hip-Hop Hooray | Cheap as Chimps | White Van Karl | Songs of Phrase Cheeky Freak of the Week | Do We Need 'Em? | More... | |
