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'''''"What we're doing here, right, is just giving you a bit of monkey news that's gone on, where a monkey's been involved in it. Good little story an' that."''''' - Karl Pilkington (The Ricky Gervais Podcast, 5 December 2005)
''For the blog created by Ricky Gervais see [[Monkey News (blog)]]''
[[File:News.jpg|thumb]]


A regular section of the show in which Karl talks about a story, either factual (whilst often being very inaccurate) or fictious, where chimpanzees have been featured for unusual purposes. Ricky introduces this section with a "jingle" - "Ooooh, Chimpanzee That! MONKEYNEWS!" - as is usually the case with other features of the show. On the last show of the first series, Karl announced he would no longer be doing "Monkey News" as he believes all news featuring monkeys has been covered.
''"What we're doing here, right, is just giving you a bit of monkey news that's gone on, where a monkey's been involved in it. Good little story an' that."'' - [[Karl Pilkington]] (The Ricky Gervais Podcast, 5 December 2005)


==List Of Monkey News Items==
'''Monkey News''' (originally '''Chimpanzee That''') was a regular feature of the Xfm radio shows, and some podcasts, in which Karl re-tells a story he has read about a monkey or an ape. The stories are usually very loosely based on a factual report he has read on the Internet where monkeys (or more often, chimpanzees) have done something very unusual or human-like. [[Ricky Gervais]] introduces this section with a jingle: "Ooooh, Chimpanzee That! MONKEYNEWS yerff-cc--grr", as is usually the case with other features of the show. On the final show of the [[Podcast Series 1|first series]] of [[The Ricky Gervais Show]] podcasts, Karl announced he would no longer be doing "Monkey News" as he believes all news featuring monkeys has been covered.
(to do - link to show pages)


2003-01-11 - Hairy kid (hints to monkey news)
== History ==


2003-01-18 - (First Monkey News?) monkey that finishes the day off with a brandy.
[[Hairy Chinese Kid]] and other hirsute children were mentioned by Karl many times in Series 1 and early in Series 2 of the Xfm shows; many people see this as the precursor to Monkey News. In episode 22 of series 2 Karl tells Ricky and Steve of a chimpanzee with human traits (such as drinking brandy and flirting with women!) - this is his first telling of the story of [[Oliver the Humanzee]]. The following week (Series 2, Episode 23) sees this become a proper weekly feature of the show for the first time (called Chimpanzee That) complete with its own jingle, performed by Ricky ("Ooooh, Chimpanzee That!"). In Episode 30 of series 2 the feature is referred to as Monkey News for the first time, rather than Chimpanzee That, but the Monkey News jingle is not used.


2003-01-25 - (first time jingle is used) Monkey caught smoking a fag
== Factual Accuracy ==


2003-02-01 - Monkey named Crap
Throughout the history of Monkey News, the factual accuracy of the stories reported is consistently questioned by both Ricky and Steve. They are sometimes so incredulous of the Monkey News story, they take it as accepted that the story is false and proceed to question how Karl can even believe the story is possible. Karl consistently denied that Monkey News was inaccurate, however in [[Series_1_Episode_3|Series 1, Episode 3]] of the [[The Ricky Gervais Show]] podcasts, Karl defends his newest Monkey News stating, "I'm telling you what, I know sometimes I step over the mark and [the Monkey News stories] are made up-". This is the first time Karl has admitted that some Monkey News stories have been false. It was not clarified whether this was an admission that he, himself, had made up the Monkey News stories or whether he had merely reported stories that were later proved to be untrue.


2003-02-08 - Monkey nicking dvds in Hackney
==List Of Monkey News Items==


2003-02-15 - Monkey in India, waiting for the train
===[[Xfm Shows]]===


2003-03-15 - Monkeys havin' a good chat
*'''[[Xfm Series 2]]'''
**[[11 January 2003|2003-01-11]]: Hairy kid (hints to monkey news)
**[[18 January 2003|2003-01-18]]: [[Oliver the Humanzee|Monkey that finishes the day off with a brandy]] (First Monkey News)
**[[25 January 2003|2003-01-25]]: Monkey caught smoking a fag (First time jingle is used)
**[[01 February 2003|2003-02-01]]: Monkey named Crap
**[[08 February 2003|2003-02-08]]: Monkey nicking DVDs in Hackney [http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article150393.ece]
**[[15 February 2003|2003-02-15]]: Monkey in India, waiting for the train
**[[15 March 2003|2003-03-15]]: Monkeys having a good chat
**[[29 March 2003|2003-03-29]]: Monkey photographer
**[[05 April 2003|2003-04-05]]: Monkey marriage
**[[12 April 2003|2003-04-12]]: [[Alfred the Monkey|Monkey foils a bank robbery (Monkey Alfred - Part 1)]][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBP74CTlm0g]
**[[26 April 2003|2003-04-26]]: [[Alfred the Monkey|Monkey Alfred makes a deal (Monkey Alfred - Part 2)]]
**[[03 May 2003|2003-05-03]]: Monkey that gets a decent job at a train station
**[[10 May 2003|2003-05-10]]: Monkey that got a gig in a hairdressers
**[[17 May 2003|2003-05-17]]: Monkey on a PC, typing "this is not a practical joke"
**[[31 May 2003|2003-05-31]]: Monkey 86, drives off to Spain.
**[[07 June 2003|2003-06-07]]: Monkey marriage II
**[[14 June 2003|2003-06-14]]: Monkey homeless in Russia
**[[21 June 2003|2003-06-21]]: [[Fan Animations#Monkey Business|Monkey business]] & monkey gets a thump in the head
**[[28 June 2003|2003-06-28]]: Monkey health spa run by chimps
**[[05 July 2003|2003-07-05]]: Monkeys join the army
**[[12 July 2003|2003-07-12]]: Monkey prison [http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2002038012_monkeys17.html]
**[[19 July 2003|2003-07-19]]: Monkey runner in the Olympics
**[[26 July 2003|2003-07-26]]: Monkey on a tricycle
**[[02 August 2003|2003-08-02]]: Monkey astronaut that later trains other monkey astronauts
**[[09 August 2003|2003-08-09]]: Monkey mechanics on a Halfords advert / Monkey prostitute
**[[16 August 2003|2003-08-16]]: Monkey washing a potato & monkey football team


2003-03-29 - Monkey photographer
*'''[[Xfm Series 3]]'''
**[[01 November 2003|2003-11-01]]: Monkey in an old people's home
**[[08 November 2003|2003-11-08]]: Monkey on a chat room
**[[15 November 2003|2003-11-15]]: Monkey superhero
**[[22 November 2003|2003-11-22]]: Monkeys picking tea
**[[29 November 2003|2003-11-29]]: Monkey throwing
**[[06 December 2003|2003-12-06]]: Monkey racing driver
**[[13 December 2003|2003-12-13]]: Monkey on a plane with no nuts
**[[03 January 2004|2004-01-03]]: Monkey Victorian ape-woman
**[[10 January 2004|2004-01-10]]: [[Fan Animations#Cosmetic Monkey|Monkey escapes from the lab]]
**[[17 January 2004|2004-01-17]]: Monkey farmers have a shoot-out


2003-04-05 - Monkey marriage
*'''[[Xfm Series 4]]'''
**[[28 May 2005|2005-05-28]]: Monkey SWAT team [http://slate.msn.com/id/2117021/] [http://www.wtop.com/?sid=605432&nid=502]
**[[04 June 2005|2005-06-04]]: Monkey porn
**[[11 June 2005|2005-06-11]]: Monkey chef
**[[18 June 2005|2005-06-18]]: Monkey in a home
**[[25 June 2005|2005-06-25]]: Monkey musician
**[[02 July 2005|2005-07-02]]: Monkey poker player


2003-04-12 - Monkey foils a bank robbery
===[[Radio 2 Shows]]===


2003-04-26 - Monkey Alfred makes a deal
*'''2005'''
**[[BBC Radio 2 Show - 24 December 2005|2005-12-24]]: Monkey in Santa's grotto
**[[BBC Radio 2 Show - 31 December 2005|2005-12-31]]: Monkey helps PC Wilcox of the LAPD


2003-05-03 - Monkey that gets a decent job at a train station
=== The Ricky Gervais Show Podcast ===


2003-05-10 - Monkey that got a gig in a hairdressers
*'''Podcast - Series 1'''
**[[Series 1 Episode 1]]: [[Fan Animations#Space Monkey|Monkey in space]] (visits the Moon), wasn't allowed to go back in space, ends up commiting suicide because couldn't reach "the buzz" similar to space traveling any other way
**[[Series 1 Episode 2]]: Monkey bargain hunter
**[[Series 1 Episode 3]]: Monkey Sanctuary where women workers were encouraged to bare their breasts to the gorillas. [http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2005/02/18/BAGM9BDI191.DTL]
**[[Series 1 Episode 4]]: Monkey hosts chat show in Moscow, chats with Cher (this was something Steve Merchant suggested, and Karl then added it as part of the story)
**[[Series 1 Episode 5]]: Monkey lives with zoo keeper. Monkey starts acting like a human person, starts hitting on zoo keeper's wife, ends up living with zoo keeper's wife
**[[Series 1 Episode 6]]: [[Fan Animations#The Fire Monkey|Monkey saves people from burning building]], still works for NY Fire Department
**[[Series 1 Episode 7]]: Monkey builder goes from building to building just building. ([http://www.stinkywinkles.com/mn.html Flash video])
**[[Series 1 Episode 8]]: Monkey crashes bobsled during Winter Olympics because of photographers' cameras flashes, is taken by an ambulance, ends up in zoo with some sort of neck guard
**[[Series 1 Episode 9]]: Monkey Pilot, gets caught by a passenger who rushes into cockpit wanting a bag of nuts
**[[Series 1 Episode 10]]: Monkey Jockey, wins a race, grabs a fruit from a lady's hat and gets caught
**[[Series 1 Episode 11]]: Monkey eye surgeon - "Chimp Doctors"; man with a bad eyesight reads newspaper advertisement "Chimp doctors" as "cheap doctors", is bewildered after finding out his eyes were fixed by a chimp doctor
**[[Series 1 Episode 12]]: Monkey in space update, apparently there's a museum for "chimponauts"


2003-05-17 - Monkey on a PC, typing "this is not a practical joke"
*'''Podcast - Series 3'''
**[[Series 3 Episode 6]] Monkey brings "great ape fruit juice" to a town in the middle of nowhere, a long time ago.


2003-05-31 - Monkey 86, drives off to Spain.
==KP Radio==
**[[21.05.20]]: Monkey on a little motorbike "chimps in" to help police the lockdown somewhere in Asia.


2003-06-07 - Monkey marriage II (another monkeys got married)
==Famous Monkeys==
'''[[86 the Monkey|Monkey 86]]''' - Drove to Spain after nicking a car from a magician he used to work for.


2003-06-14 - Monkey homeless in Russia
'''[[Alfred the Monkey]]''' - Intercepted a bank robber(mid-heist) and made off with his loot before returning to his zoo to try and negotiate the release of the other chimps.


2003-06-21 - Monkey business & monkey gets a thump in the head
'''Marty''' - The web-using monkey you can supposedly have a chat with over the internet.


2003-06-28 - Monkeys join the army
'''[[Ham]]''' - The first monkey to be sent into space. According to Karl, when he pressed the 'left button' he gets a banana. Also, according to Karl, within the spaceship there are left, right, and reverse buttons.


2003-07-05 - Monkey health spa run by chimps
'''Enos''' - The second monkey to go into space, following Ham's successful mission. In real life, the rocket did not sustain proper altitude and the mission had to be aborted so Enos was returned safely to Earth. In Karl's world, the two buttons became reversed so the one for "everything else" began dispensing bananas. Fortunately, Enos figured it out and is now living in a monkey retirement home with Ham and all the other "Chimponauts" "talking about the old times and that."
 
2003-07-12 - Monkey prison.
 
2003-07-19 - Monkey runner in the olympics
 
2003-07-26 - Monkey on a tricycle
 
2003-08-09 - Monkey mechanics on a Halfords ad ("bit of bonus monkey news for ya...") / Monkey prostitute
 
2003-08-16 - Monkey washing a potato & monkey football team
 
2003-11-01 - Monkey in an old peoples home
 
2003-11-08 - Monkey on a chat room
 
2003-11-15 - Monkey superhero
 
2003-11-29 - Monkey throwing
 
2003-12-06 - Monkey racing driver
 
2003-12-13 - Monkey on a plane with no nuts


2004-01-03 - Monkey victorian ape woman
'''[[Crap]]''' - The first monkey to have his name tattooed to his forehead. Possible source [https://web.archive.org/web/20030408200023/http://vivisection-absurd.org.uk:80/abs07p2.html], do a find on crap.


2004-01-10 - Monkey escapes from the lab
'''[[Oliver the Humanzee|Ollie the Chimp]]''' - Again, a story that has a basis in fact, but Karl has extrapolated a load of old nonsense from the tale. In the world the rest of us inhabit, Ollie was a chimpanzee suspected to be a "missing link" between humans and apes. In Karl's world, Ollie befriended a zoo-keeper who took him out for dinners and eventually let him live with him. Ollie would "start the day with a cuppa tea, end on a brandy", and in the end of the story run off with the zoo-keeper's wife, leaving him a lonely divorcee. (See wikipedia: [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humanzee#Oliver Humanzee, Oliver])


2004-01-17 - Monkey farmers have a shoot-out
'''[[Jack]]''' - a monkey (actually a baboon) that got pal-ly with a bloke who worked in a railway station. Jack took over when the bloke lost a leg. This appears to be true: See wikipedia: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_(chacma_baboon)]


2005-05-28 - Monkey swat team (short)
'''[[Jenny]]''' - The FDNY monkey [http://www.boweryboyshistory.com/2012/12/the-new-york-monkey-fad-of-1907-from.html]


2005-06-04 - Monkey porn
==Download Links==


2005-06-11 - Monkey chef
[http://www.stinkywinkles.com Official animation of the monkey news]
 
2005-06-18 - Monkey in a home
 
2005-06-25 - Monkey musician
 
2005-07-02 - Monkey poker player
 
==Famous Monkeys==
'''Monkey 86''' - Drove to Spain after nicking a car from a magician he used to work for.
 
'''Marty''' - The web-using monkey you can supposedly have a chat with over the internet.
 
'''Ham''' - The first monkey to be sent into space. According to Karl, had one button that fed it bananas and a second that did "everything else", e.g. go left to the moon and reverse back to Earth.
 
'''Enos''' - The second monkey to go into space, following Ham's successful mission. In real life, the rocket did not sustain proper altitude and the mission had to be aborted so Enos was returned safely to Earth. In Karl's world, the two buttons became reversed so the one for "everything else" began dispensing bananas. Fortunately, Enos figured it out and is now living in a monkey retirement home with Ham and all the other "Chimponauts" "talking about the old times and that."


'''Crap''' - The first monkey to have his name tattooed to his forehead.
[[Category:Features|Monkey News]]

Latest revision as of 10:23, 20 June 2020

For the blog created by Ricky Gervais see Monkey News (blog)

"What we're doing here, right, is just giving you a bit of monkey news that's gone on, where a monkey's been involved in it. Good little story an' that." - Karl Pilkington (The Ricky Gervais Podcast, 5 December 2005)

Monkey News (originally Chimpanzee That) was a regular feature of the Xfm radio shows, and some podcasts, in which Karl re-tells a story he has read about a monkey or an ape. The stories are usually very loosely based on a factual report he has read on the Internet where monkeys (or more often, chimpanzees) have done something very unusual or human-like. Ricky Gervais introduces this section with a jingle: "Ooooh, Chimpanzee That! MONKEYNEWS yerff-cc--grr", as is usually the case with other features of the show. On the final show of the first series of The Ricky Gervais Show podcasts, Karl announced he would no longer be doing "Monkey News" as he believes all news featuring monkeys has been covered.

History

Hairy Chinese Kid and other hirsute children were mentioned by Karl many times in Series 1 and early in Series 2 of the Xfm shows; many people see this as the precursor to Monkey News. In episode 22 of series 2 Karl tells Ricky and Steve of a chimpanzee with human traits (such as drinking brandy and flirting with women!) - this is his first telling of the story of Oliver the Humanzee. The following week (Series 2, Episode 23) sees this become a proper weekly feature of the show for the first time (called Chimpanzee That) complete with its own jingle, performed by Ricky ("Ooooh, Chimpanzee That!"). In Episode 30 of series 2 the feature is referred to as Monkey News for the first time, rather than Chimpanzee That, but the Monkey News jingle is not used.

Factual Accuracy

Throughout the history of Monkey News, the factual accuracy of the stories reported is consistently questioned by both Ricky and Steve. They are sometimes so incredulous of the Monkey News story, they take it as accepted that the story is false and proceed to question how Karl can even believe the story is possible. Karl consistently denied that Monkey News was inaccurate, however in Series 1, Episode 3 of the The Ricky Gervais Show podcasts, Karl defends his newest Monkey News stating, "I'm telling you what, I know sometimes I step over the mark and [the Monkey News stories] are made up-". This is the first time Karl has admitted that some Monkey News stories have been false. It was not clarified whether this was an admission that he, himself, had made up the Monkey News stories or whether he had merely reported stories that were later proved to be untrue.

List Of Monkey News Items

Xfm Shows

Radio 2 Shows

The Ricky Gervais Show Podcast

  • Podcast - Series 1
    • Series 1 Episode 1: Monkey in space (visits the Moon), wasn't allowed to go back in space, ends up commiting suicide because couldn't reach "the buzz" similar to space traveling any other way
    • Series 1 Episode 2: Monkey bargain hunter
    • Series 1 Episode 3: Monkey Sanctuary where women workers were encouraged to bare their breasts to the gorillas. [6]
    • Series 1 Episode 4: Monkey hosts chat show in Moscow, chats with Cher (this was something Steve Merchant suggested, and Karl then added it as part of the story)
    • Series 1 Episode 5: Monkey lives with zoo keeper. Monkey starts acting like a human person, starts hitting on zoo keeper's wife, ends up living with zoo keeper's wife
    • Series 1 Episode 6: Monkey saves people from burning building, still works for NY Fire Department
    • Series 1 Episode 7: Monkey builder goes from building to building just building. (Flash video)
    • Series 1 Episode 8: Monkey crashes bobsled during Winter Olympics because of photographers' cameras flashes, is taken by an ambulance, ends up in zoo with some sort of neck guard
    • Series 1 Episode 9: Monkey Pilot, gets caught by a passenger who rushes into cockpit wanting a bag of nuts
    • Series 1 Episode 10: Monkey Jockey, wins a race, grabs a fruit from a lady's hat and gets caught
    • Series 1 Episode 11: Monkey eye surgeon - "Chimp Doctors"; man with a bad eyesight reads newspaper advertisement "Chimp doctors" as "cheap doctors", is bewildered after finding out his eyes were fixed by a chimp doctor
    • Series 1 Episode 12: Monkey in space update, apparently there's a museum for "chimponauts"
  • Podcast - Series 3
    • Series 3 Episode 6 Monkey brings "great ape fruit juice" to a town in the middle of nowhere, a long time ago.

KP Radio

    • 21.05.20: Monkey on a little motorbike "chimps in" to help police the lockdown somewhere in Asia.

Famous Monkeys

Monkey 86 - Drove to Spain after nicking a car from a magician he used to work for.

Alfred the Monkey - Intercepted a bank robber(mid-heist) and made off with his loot before returning to his zoo to try and negotiate the release of the other chimps.

Marty - The web-using monkey you can supposedly have a chat with over the internet.

Ham - The first monkey to be sent into space. According to Karl, when he pressed the 'left button' he gets a banana. Also, according to Karl, within the spaceship there are left, right, and reverse buttons.

Enos - The second monkey to go into space, following Ham's successful mission. In real life, the rocket did not sustain proper altitude and the mission had to be aborted so Enos was returned safely to Earth. In Karl's world, the two buttons became reversed so the one for "everything else" began dispensing bananas. Fortunately, Enos figured it out and is now living in a monkey retirement home with Ham and all the other "Chimponauts" "talking about the old times and that."

Crap - The first monkey to have his name tattooed to his forehead. Possible source [7], do a find on crap.

Ollie the Chimp - Again, a story that has a basis in fact, but Karl has extrapolated a load of old nonsense from the tale. In the world the rest of us inhabit, Ollie was a chimpanzee suspected to be a "missing link" between humans and apes. In Karl's world, Ollie befriended a zoo-keeper who took him out for dinners and eventually let him live with him. Ollie would "start the day with a cuppa tea, end on a brandy", and in the end of the story run off with the zoo-keeper's wife, leaving him a lonely divorcee. (See wikipedia: Humanzee, Oliver)

Jack - a monkey (actually a baboon) that got pal-ly with a bloke who worked in a railway station. Jack took over when the bloke lost a leg. This appears to be true: See wikipedia: [8]

Jenny - The FDNY monkey [9]

Download Links

Official animation of the monkey news

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