09 February 2002

Xfm Series 1 November 2001 - May 2002 List of episodes

Episodes: 10 November 2001 (Transcript) 17 November 2001 (Transcript) 24 November 2001 (Transcript) 01 December 2001 (Transcript) 08 December 2001 (Transcript) 15 December 2001 (Transcript) 22 December 2001 (Transcript) 12 January 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.1 19 January 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.2 26 January 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.3 09 February 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.4 16 February 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.5 23 February 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.6 02 March 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.7 09 March 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.8 16 March 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.9 23 March 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.10 30 March 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.11 06 April 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.12 13 April 2002 (Transcript) 20 April 2002 (Transcript) 27 April 2002 (Transcript) 04 May 2002 (Transcript)

Track Listing

For a full transcript of this episode see 09 February 2002/Transcript

1. Clueless About Music (0:00:00)

Ricky and Steve rip on DJs and their powers over time. Karl is introduced; people love the K-man. A fan says the duo knows less about music than other Xfm DJs, which really annoys them. They give away some behind the scenes secrets

2. The Miracle Of Jaffa Cakes (0:02:21)

Steve calls Ricky out on his speech, but before Ricky can defend himself Karl throws him off by "crinchlin'" some wrapping. Steve inquires Karl about what he likes to do. Karl reveals that he puts on a mask in front of Ricky and Steve. He can't even watch The Elephant Man without crying. Ricky has Karl tell his theory on Jaffa Cakes. Karl finally reveals the cure to cancer.

3. One Foot in the Grave (0:05:45)

Ricky praises a Gomez track and wants to play some Elvis Costello. The duo brag about awards (but they only have two at this point). Steve admits to an embarrassing encounter with Richard Wilson after he requested a cameo in the office. Declan McManus is brought up with little effect on Steve. Ricky recalls translating the Coca-Cola song into crap French. Steve demands Ricky quote some poetry (Shakespeare doesn't count!) Steve busts out his skills, but Karl has little to offer.

4. Interview with a Pilkington (0:11:16)

Karl suggests starting with good material, rather than weak material. Ricky admits that Karl is holding it together, but calls him stupid... well sincere, which can be frowned upon this cynical world. Karl explains his miseducation and how he went to Porthmadog for weeks on end in a Ford Grenada. Karl talks more about his education,no sixth form or university, he left school when he was 15 to get a job as a printer.

5. Four-Eyed Stupid Head Boggle-Eyed Freak (Fish) Face (0:15:29)

Ricky attempts to recreate the magic by interviewing Steve, as Karl stuffs his gullet. Ricky beams with pride at having Karl as a pet. Steve never saw "Meet Ricky Gervais"... and he worked on it! Ricky's inteview basically turns into a diss-fest on Steve. Steve retorts by schything Ricky's "chat" show. Ricky struggles to recall guests he had on his show.

6. Annoying People (0:15:29)

Ricky has been invited to Room 101. Ricky wants to put annoying people in room 101 and Steve tells anecdotes to show his hypocrisy.The stories include Ricky singing "The Rain in Spain" with a rubber band and flicking at Steve (as shown in the extras of The Office DVDs). Steve then moves onto annoying people in movie theaters: the girl talking on the phone and the fat lady watching Crotching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Karl thinks if the movie is subtitled you could just read it anyway. Steve continues to whinge.

7. Karl's Pop Idol Round Up (0:28:09)

Steve is making tea. Ricky is going to see Pop Idol. Karl and Ricky discuss Pop Idol, much to Karl's frustration. Steve comes back, uber-mad that they started without him. Steve is baffled by Karl's coach story as well. Asthma and stuttering.

8. Pop Idle Chat (0:32:14)

More Pop Idol chat. Phone in if you like Ant and Dec. Dominic Monaghan is cracking down on Pop Idol. Steve tells about his high standard for being a pop idol which do not apply to him because he's not trying to be a pop idol. Steve talks about being mistaken for N'Sync in New York. Karl veers too close to the racist card, and Ricky demands a record be played. Song for the Lovers is played, which Steve/Karl botch up.

9. How to Ruin a Song by Ricky Gervais (0:37:30)

Ricky does backing vocals to Satellite of Love like a mental. AWOOOO!! The song is ruined for Steve, who lists off more ruined songs. Fascinating fact: If everyone in China jumped up and down at the same time, it would cause a tidal wave that would destroy America (according to physics). Karl is dumbfounded and retorts: there's more chickens in the world than people.

10. That Explains a Lot (0:41:28)

The "best" song intros of all time are discussed. Karl brings up EastEnders and the links to The Who. Karl doesn't like Ricky and Steve arguing and flashes back to caravaning again. Ricky brings up his own caravan experience in Riverside. Karl says that he got kicked in the head by a horse when he was six. ("That explains a lot.") Steve tell his religious recruiting experiences. Karl tells about a farmer who's arm skin gets... yuck.

11. That's It (0:48:14)

Ricky and Steve wrap it up and take Foxy to school.

Quotes

Karl: It was in Leicester square right? The little lad. A big coach with his head on the side.
Ricky: Was there an accident?
Karl: Like you know the ones footballers have?
Ricky: Big heads?

Ricky: "What does a knife feel like when it's going into your eye?"

Steve: Karl, can I have a Jaffa cake? Cos I’ve just found a lump.

Playlist

The White Stripes - Fell in Love with a Girl
Lo-Fidelity Allstars - ?
Gomez - ?
Beatles - Revolution
Elbow - Asleep in the Back
Elvis Costello - Red Shoes
Zinger Meets Spry - Song 2
Lambchop - Backstreet Girl
Dandy Worhols - Get Off
? - Got You
Song For The Lovers: Lou Reed - Satellite of Love
Unknown Track
The Who - Won't Get Fooled Again
Princess Superstar - Bad Babysitter
Song For The Ladies: The Only Ones - Another Girl Another Planet

Download

Download Page

External Links

Porthmadog Town Guide Online