27 December 2003

Xfm Series 3 November 2003 - January 2004 List of episodes

Episodes: 01 November 2003 08 November 2003 (Transcript) 15 November 2003 (Transcript) 22 November 2003 (Transcript) 29 November 2003 (Transcript) 06 December 2003 (Transcript) 13 December 2003 20 December 2003 27 December 2003 ('Best of') 03 January 2004 (Transcript) 10 January 2004 17 January 2004 (Transcript)

This is the sixth 'Best Of' compilation.

Track Listing

1. Cranial Spherity (0:01:09)

Ricky Gervais invents a medical condition called cranial spherity, which is a perfectly round head that presses on the victim's "lobes". The result of this is that the sufferer is normal in every way, but believes anything and everything. Come to think of it, this is probably not dissimilar to what Karl Pilkington suffers from. Stephen Merchant explains how he feels about the current war, and how he feels it was "better presented" than the Gulf War. Ricky says this is because the Americans "had rights to it, like the Tyson fight". The World Elephant Polo Championships have taken place. Their training ground was Kent. Karl's confused as to why the elephants would kick the ball, and suggests letting the elephants just have a kick about.

2. "Imagine how much post..." (0:04:50)

Karl discusses a man who was in a coma for twenty years, during which he was taken to Alton Towers. Steve tells a similar story, but his one wasn't taken to Alton Towers. He was asked how he felt and he said "horny".

3. "Ohh, I'm a bum GP?" (0:09:11)

Ricky asks Karl what his best ever job was, to which he simply replies "paper round". Ricky mentions proctology which disgusts Karl, who confusedly asks why they have to do that. Steve ponders on what kind of trainee doctor chooses to make proctology their special field. Steve goes on to talk about the snack woman on Finchley Road with bananas up to her chin and chocolates coming out of her eyes. Karl mentions "Iva" The Terrible, Ivan's Irish cousin.

4. "I'm not made of money!" (0:15:46)

Steve admits his new television is too big (42 inches). He wonders whether he should have tipped the delivery man. Karl discusses how he doesn't think disabled tennis should be put on the television, as there wasn't a proper rally going on. He suggests letting them play swingball (also known as tether ball) instead.

5. Karl in a film thing (0:21:03)

Karl's favourite two films are The Elephant Man and Kes. Today he's put himself into Kes. He leaves the microphones on so we can hear Ricky's brilliant laugh in the background. At the end, Ricky commends Karl, saying it was the best thing he'd ever done.

6. Headlines (0:24:46)

Karl has found some excellent headlines on the internet:

- vibrating shoes could stop elderly falling
- family sick of living on Butthole Road
- man wears same shoes for sixty years
- some fella pulls a train with his teeth
- man fails to break 'clothes pegs on face' record

Playlist

Kings of Leon - Molly's Chambers
Blue - Out of Time
Placebo - Bitter End
Radiohead - There There (The Boney King of Nowhere)
50 Cent - In Da Club

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