14 December 2002/Transcript
This is a transcript of the 14 December 2002 episode, from Xfm Series 2
Ralph Littleton, #342
Song: Eminem - Lose Yourself
Ricky: Eminem, Lose Yourself on Xfm 104.9. I'm Ricky Gervais, with me Steve Merchant.
Steve: Hello there.
Ricky: But not Karl Pilkington.
Steve: No Karl. No. No.
Ricky: He's gone back to Manchester innit?
Steve laughs
Ricky: It's better than London.
Steve: Yeah.
Ricky: You don't know it. You don't know it. Manchester's better than London. Instead, Claire Sturgess.
Claire: Yeah.
Steve: Claire Sturgess, a round of applause for Claire.
Claire: Yeah.
Ricky: Yeah.
Claire: Yeah, thanks.
Steve: Yeah.
Claire: Thanks, yeah, thanks.
Claire: I will-
Steve: Come down in sort of the camouflage gear I notice. Is that quite trendy? Is that what the kids are wearing?
Claire: Yeah, do you know, it's funny
Claire laughs
Claire: Someone actually mentioned that this morning-
Ricky: Or are you on maneuvers?
Steve laughs
Steve: Yeah.
Claire: I am.
Steve: Exactly.
Claire: I am actually.
Ricky: Yeah.
Claire: Taking time out.
Ricky: Yeah.
Claire: This morning. From what I normally do.
Steve: Sure.
Ricky: I missed the, er, second half - talking about that - of Celebrity, erm, Bootcamp.
Steve: I don't know what that is.
Ricky: Coolio.
Steve: Is it?
Ricky: The fella from, um, Milli Vanilli
Steve: What, the one that's not dead?
Claire: Eh?
Ricky: Uh no, the one that killed himself, Steve.
Steve: Sure.
Claire laughs
Ricky: Um...
Steve: No, I just wanted to clarify for people. A lot of people don't realise that one of them is dead.
Ricky: Right.
Steve laughs
Steve: I thought it was important to mention it.
Claire: Actually, d'you know, I didn't know
Steve: I'll be honest with you, I hadn't thought it through.
Ricky: No.
Steve: It was a piece of interesting Milli Vanilli trivia that I had, and I wanted to slip it in.
Ricky: But what wasn't really trivia-
Steve: But I tell you-
Ricky: It was a question. You could've went "what", the one who's not dead.
Steve: What I'm trying to say Rick is, I could've found a more tactful way of bringing up the death of one of Milli Vanilli.
Ricky: Yeah.
Steve: 'Cause I think there are a lot of people out there now upset. Maybe, didn't realise.
Ricky: Actually, yeah. People who didn't know...
Steve: It's quite a shock. I didn't...I mean I should've sat people down-
Ricky: Who did...who died? Vanilli or Milli?
Steve: I think it was...I think it was Milli
Ricky: Oh right, okay.
Claire: No it was Vanilli, wasn't it?
Steve: I don't know, erm...
Claire: No but I don't know, I didn't actually...
{{Ricky|Oh that is-
Claire: I'm guessing.
Steve: But wait a minute I've always confused Milli Vanilli with Scritti Politti, I-
Ricky laughs
Steve: 'Cause I mean, that is a danger.
Ricky: Oh, no, you're thinking of the fella out of Grumple Palumple.
Steve laughs
Claire laughs
Ricky: Because he was amazing.
Steve: He was amazing, it's-it's a great shame that he-
Ricky: Topped himself, before, not around-
Steve laughs
Ricky: Anyway, um, cor we've got some great tunes lined up. We're gonna play, today, erm, th- our favourite singles-
Steve: Well it's-
Ricky: -Of the year.
{{Steve|-Favourite tunes. Things that didn't quite make it as tunes maybe. But tunes of the year, 'cause obviously Christmas very soon and, uh, we'll be away for a short time.
Ricky: I think next week we're doing our favourite Christmas songs of all time.
Steve: Yeah, I'm worried we're not going to fill two hours with that. I mean how many times can you play Shakin' Stevens before uh-
Ricky laughs
Ricky: Fairytale of New York.
Steve: Yeah, exactly.
Ricky: There it is again.
Steve: I mean that's really the only one isn't it?
Ricky: That's the best one. That's the best Christmas song ever.
Steve: That one's good, obviously there's Joni Mitchell's The River, that starts with a kind of Christmassy feel.
Ricky: Beautiful. Beautiful.
Steve: I'm trying to think if there's anything else. Not a great deal...
Ricky: Um.
Claire: The Waitresses, Christmas Wrapping.
Ricky: Is that a good one?
Claire: A favourite of mine.
Steve: Is that good?
Claire: Yeah, yeah.
Ricky: So This is Christmas, John Lenon. Paul McCartney came out with Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time.
Steve laughs
{{Steve|Christmas Time.
Ricky: Yeah.
Ricky: Yeah, yeah.
Steve: But John's was Happy Christmas, War is Over.
Steve: Of course it wasn't, but uh, obviously-
Ricky: But I mean, at least he wanted it to be.
Steve: No at least he was dreaming of it, He was dreaming of it.
Ricky: Yeah.
Steve: I mean, god bless him.
Ricky: Yeah, and to show how much he hates war-
Steve: I- John Lennon's dead as well, I don't know if anyone's...
Ricky: Yeah, no, they're aware of that.
Steve: That's just another bit of rock and roll trivia.
Ricky: I like John's protest against war, he stayed in bed for a week.
Steve laughs
Steve: Yeah.
Ricky: I'd have done that. If they'd been protesting against war I'd have been in bed for ages.
Steve laughs
Ricky: I'm eating hamburgers, if there's war.
Steve: Absolutely.
Steve laughs
Ricky: Wh- I jus- I just came into Burger King, on the way here, I went into th-
Steve: I mean, of cours- let's not, not product placement there. There's a number of other burgers joint which people may wish to go to instead-
Ricky: I would go to McDonalds. I would go to McDonalds.
Steve: Exactly.
Ricky: But I went into Burger King, 'cause it's close.
Steve: It's convenient.
Ricky: And-
Steve: But then often McDonalds is more convenient.
Ricky: It was convenient but McDonalds can be just as convenient-
Steve laughs
Steve: Yeah.
Ricky: -Depends where you are.
Steve: Just as convenient, depends where you are.
Ricky: Yeah, erm, and I said, er, what did I say, I said, um, "can I have...a...cheeseburger and small fries, takeaway please." And he recognised me, he went "oh I've seen you on telly." And I went "yeah." And he went "uh there's your milkshake", and I went "thanks." He wen- he winked and went "I've put large fries in."
Steve and Claire laugh
Steve: Brilliant.
Steve laughs
Ricky: So that...
Steve: So, but I love that-
Ricky: So it's paying off at last, true genius is being rewarded-
Steve: But I'm just intrigued to know-
Ricky: -By these burger joints.
Steve: -'Cause, I mean, there's been a couple of times where I've been with you and, you know, we've gone in a restaurant and someone's given you a free meal or whatever.
Ricky: I know.
Steve: And it's the way it's like, you don't ask for it.
Ricky: No.
Steve: It's just kind of offered. But I don't know what they're expecting in return.
Ricky: Nothing.
Steve: I mean, do think that you'll go away and you'll always think fondly of you know-
Ricky: No.
Steve: -Chad, who works in Burger King.
Ricky: No I just thi- I just think they think, ooh, I don't know.
Steve: I'm gonna give him a little treat.
Ricky: Yeah. I know, I don't like it, but I'm always grateful and I never-
Steve: Yeah.
Ricky: -But the things is I- yeah, I'm slightly embarrassed but...
Steve: Did anyone run around you hear what had happened?
Ricky: No.
Steve: 'Cause I imagine their resentment- just the whole room turned on you.
Ricky: No they didn't, I had to go around telling them.
Steve laughs
Steve: I mean, yeah...yeah...
Ricky: I- I went up to someone and I said "excuse me, did you hear that? He just gave me the free thing, 'cause I'm on the telly."
Steve laughs
Ricky: And they went "oh, I don't recognise you." And I went, "you don't recognise me?"
Steve: I'm terrified now that uh-
Claire laughs
Steve: -That someone could be listening at Burger King HQ, you know I'm assuming this is an unorthodox procedure.
Ricky: And that little fella's got fired.
Steve: We kn- They know it's Leicester Square now 'cause...I've just mentioned it. So they know which Burger King it is.
Claire laughs
Ricky: Oh my god. I don't know...
Steve: What was his name?
Ricky: Ralph Littleton.
Steve and Claire laugh
Steve: Yeah.
Ricky: He- he had a name badge, number 342.
Steve: Well I just hope Littleton doesn't get in trouble.
Ricky: So, uh, what are we gonna play first?
Steve: That's gonna be a sad Christmas for him.
Ricky laughs
Ricky: Yeah.
Steve: Probably keeping his whole family afloat.
Ricky: Um, bit of Springsteen.
Steve: Well, tunes of the year. Now I know a lot of people dismiss Springsteen, but, uh, as I say, the gig went to see earlier in the year, I mean it-
Ricky: Sturgess couldn't believe we were going to play Springsteen.
Steve: -Was quite brilliant. I just think, you know, leave aside what you think is cool and trendy, and the fact that he's older now-
Claire: Really?
Steve: Yeah.
Claire: Really?
Steve: Just leave all that behind-
Claire: Yeah?
Steve: -And just listen to the tunes, because, you know, he remains a great musician.
Ricky: Lonesome Day?
Steve: Lonesome Day, the current single, the first track on the album.
Ricky: Free, free chips.
Steve laughs
Steve: Absolutely.
Song: Bruce Springsteen - Lonesome Day