31 May 1998: Difference between revisions

Latest revision as of 16:10, 6 June 2021

Xfm Series 0
January 1998 - August 1998
List of episodes

Episodes:

31 May 1998 is the earliest and one of the only known complete recordings of the original Ricky Gervais Show on Xfm.

Ricky and Steve discuss Geri Halliwell leaving the Spice Girls, past pop culture items which Steve doesn't remember and Ricky's swearing. Also features music by Brainmangle, Velvet Nazi 666 UK, Muff Shandy and Tony Buddabing.

Track Listing

For a full transcript of this episode see 31 May 1998/Transcript.

1. It's Ten Past Four (0:00:00)

Ricky does a very professional, comprehensible link.

2. Singing The Praises Of Penk (0:00:10)

Steve asks Ricky about him allegedly signing autographs, which Ricky did whilst at an Xfm 'roadshow' in a Dr. Martens shop. He signed at least 30 or 40. Gary Crowley, who was also there, apparently looks like a spotty shop assistant. Ricky tells a joke, they're only allowed to tell one a show lest they become like Steve Penk, not that there's anything wrong with Penk.

3. Why Should I Stay? (0:02:02)

Steve gives us a reason to stay tuned - an upcoming movie quiz! Two fake adverts, one for Brainmangle and their new single Blood, Sweat and Cum and one for Fuck Like a Rhino by Velvet Nazi 666 UK.

4. Is Ricky Gervais A Very Good DJ? (0:03:07)

Steve and Ricky discuss the impending split of The Spice Girls and rumours of Geri leaving following bullying from Scary Spice. Steve talks about being bullied by a pop star at school, Lionel Ritchie. Apparently the 14 year old Steve had no chance against a man with a string of top ten hits. Amazingly Ricky had a similar experience, being bullied at school by the band Hanson. Ricky and Steve play a fake ad for a helpline where upset Spice Girls fans can call Ricky to help them cope with Ginger's departure. An example of such a call is played; it inevitably ends in Ricky discussing mucky photos.

5. After The Advert There'll Be Another Break (0:06:30)

Another innocuous link is followed by an advert for Muff Shandy's "Earplugs are Gay".

6. D'you Know Terry Wise? (0:07:20)

Ricky asks if Steve remembers Pillsbury Dough, but he doesn’t. Ricky then asks people to call in to inform Steve and insult him. Steve wonders if it’s a toy and Ricky tries to explain that it’s a type of food. Steve promises a reference to stump Gervais, but struggles. He conjures up Jamie and His Magic Torch, but Ricky's heard of it. Ricky remembers an ad he once saw of a boy with magic pipes, but Steve has no idea what he’s talking about again. They play another fake ad for some new toiletries - "Panderers with Aloe Bahaha Groovy Caring Stuff" which can be used as a 'clunge protector' for your granddad.

7. Super Slick On The Mic (0:09:44)

Steve has figured out what Pillsbury Dough is, and he explains the previous advert for people who could not understand Ricky. Steve explains how he communicates using thought and careful word selection, unlike Ricky. They argue about Gervais' excitement undermining his speech. A listener asks if Ricky remembers a show called Billy Liar, and he does except Steve points out there was no such programme but does remember the film, the play and the book of the same name. Ricky demands booze and Steve asks for margaritas. Ricky was on the margaritas the night before, as was Steve, in what turns out to be a filthy innuendo.

8. Were You Crawling? (0:12:07)

Ricky has a very limited set of DJ patter that he’s memorized. Steve recounts an anecdote about a very short man with a face that looked stapled together that he encountered on the way to Ricky's house. When the little man asked for a ride on Steve's back Steve said no and encountered some hostility. If it had been a little woman, however, he might have been more accommodating.

9. Steve Made Me Do It (0:14:17)

Ricky introduces some ads, and then plays The Housemartins.

10. You Know She Had Two Nos (0:14:25)

Steve explains that he chose The Housemartins track because it reminded him of a girl he used to go out with. The girl was quite odd; she used to decide things by selecting random pieces of paper with different answers on it. This method was how she decided to stop seeing Steve.

11. Xfm Ginger Helpline (0:16:27)

They play another ad about the Ginger Spice helpline with a new fake caller asking for help from Ricky.

12. Ricky Lists What is Coming (0:17:28)

Ad breaks, more music, and competitions are promised to come soon.

13. Competition Time! (0:17:58)

Ricky and Steve play a pre-recorded clip from a classic movie that the listeners need to name. Steve is impressed with the work Ricky has put in but he’s concerned about Ricky's reliance on constant swearing. Ricky then starts swearing on live radio and it is magically being bleeped out for him. Yet when Steve swears, it doesn’t get bleeped.

14. Competition Answers (0:21:25)

Steve wonders if Ricky gets bleeped in the pub as well, he’s still confused by the previous link. He then announces the winner of the competition and the answer to the film quiz.

15. Labour MP Attacked by Strange Freak (0:22:34)

Steve wonders if he can get Mo Mowlam to go out with him if he pledges money to the Labour Party. Ricky then speculates what the headlines would be. Next they play a fake advert for Tony Buddabing's Easy Metal featuring versions of "Fuck Like a Rhyno", "Earplugs are Gay" and "Blood, Sweat and Cum".

16. I Wish I Could Bleep Him Out (0:24:20)

Ricky and Steve hang around for the start of Lawrie Hallett's show. Lawrie complains that they left the place a mess so Ricky makes fun of his shirt.

Quotes

Steve: See when I want to explain something alright, Gervais, what I do is, I think 'What do I need to say, how can I best express it, which words shall I use and in what order ... When you want to express something you just go 'Words, words, words, words - stop. Words, words, oh, annoyed, annoyed, words..' D'you know what I mean? It's just gobbledygook, Gervais!

Steve: Are you on crack?

Ricky: Happy birthday, Charlotte. No… Catherine, it’s from Charlotte, she’s 20.
Steve: Yeah, man, you’re super slick on the mic. Oh yessiree Gervais.

Trivia

Billy Liar.

Playlist

Jesus and Mary Chain - Black
Oasis - Married With Children
Soundtrack of our Lives - Instant Repeater 99
Blur - Tracy Jacks
House of Pain - Jump Around
Gomez - Get Myself Arrested
Drugstore - Sober
Portishead - Numb
The Housemartins - Happy Hour
Delgados - Everything Goes Around
Babybird - Bad Old Man
Scope - Song for Bobby
Radiohead - Black Star
Pulp - Do You Remember The First Time
Kenickie - I Would Fix You


Series 0 \| Series 1 \| Series 2 \| Series 3 \| Series 4
Presenters	Ricky Gervais \| Stephen Merchant \| Karl Pilkington
Others	Claire Sturgess \| Ian Camfield \| Simon Pegg \| Nick Frost
Features	Monkey News \| Rockbusters \| Song For The Ladies \| Song For The Lovers Hip-Hop Hooray \| Cheap as Chimps \| White Van Karl \| Songs of Phrase Cheeky Freak of the Week \| Do We Need 'Em? \| More...

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
-'''31 May 1998''' is the only known complete recording of the original Ricky Gervais Show on Xfm. Discrepancies in the timeline of the show reveal that it is most likely a hybrid of different recordings, although is considered to be primarily the 31st May edition.
+{{Template:Infobox Xfm Series 0}}
+'''31 May 1998''' is the earliest and one of the only known complete recordings of the original [[Ricky Gervais Show]] on [[Xfm]].
+[[Ricky]] and [[Steve]] discuss Geri Halliwell leaving the Spice Girls, past pop culture items which Steve doesn't remember and Ricky's swearing. Also features music by Brainmangle, Velvet Nazi 666 UK, Muff Shandy and Tony Buddabing.
-Featuring various pre-recorded sketches, no Karl Pilkington, a more chart-heavy playlist and phone calls to Ricky's mother, the show is an embryonic version of the later 2001 - 2005 Xfm show. Though more comparable to the output of '[[Foxy|proper]]' radio DJs, the show is indicative of the unique, sometimes incomprehensible, drivel, that was to come.
-{{Template:Infobox Special}}
 ==Track Listing==
+{|width=100% style="border-spacing:8px;margin:0px -8px"
+!{{sectionhead|#EEEEEE|#AAAAAA|left|''For a full transcript of this episode see [[31 May 1998/Transcript]].''}}
+|-
+|
+|}
-====1. Kicking Off With This Little Ditty ====
+====1. It's Ten Past Four ''(0:00:00)'' ====
-Ricky briefly introduces the show and gives a flavour of the upcoming playlist.
+Ricky does a very professional, comprehensible link.
-====2. A Lovely Berkshire Accent ====
+====2. Singing The Praises Of Penk ''(0:00:10)'' ====
-Steve mentions his mobile disco, briefly, before Ricky segues into wanting to reduce the swearing on the show after a warning, not from the station bosses, not from the radio authority, but from his mum who he called in the week. He plays a recording of this conversation, she complains about the swearing before Ricky winds her up with false accounts of his upbringing, it is her 73rd birthday, she implores Ricky to get Steve to stop calling him 'Gervais', insisting his correct 'handle' is Ricky, or at the least for him to pronounce Gervais properly (Jer-vay).
+Steve asks Ricky about him allegedly signing autographs, which Ricky did whilst at an Xfm 'roadshow' in a Dr. Martens shop. He signed at least 30 or 40. Gary Crowley, who was also there, apparently looks like a spotty shop assistant. Ricky tells a joke, they're only allowed to tell one a show lest they become like Steve Penk, not that there's anything wrong with Penk.
-====3. I'm In The Land Of The Brain Bottles====
+====3. Why Should I Stay? ''(0:02:02)'' ====
-Steve winds Ricky up about the pronounciation and about his mum using the word 'handle' instead of 'name', apparently this is because Mrs Gervais was into CB radio and was a member of a housewife gang.
+Steve gives us a reason to stay tuned - an upcoming movie quiz!
+Two fake adverts, one for Brainmangle and their new single ''Blood, Sweat and Cum'' and one for  ''Fuck Like a Rhino'' by Velvet Nazi 666 UK.
-====4. How Do You Explain That Physique? ====
+====4. Is Ricky Gervais A Very Good DJ? ''(0:03:07)'' ====
-Ricky and his mum discuss Gary Crowley, his mum feigns awareness of this particular DJ, they talk about pronounciation some more and Ricky makes further scandalous claims about his mother. She records an ident, and bids him farewell. Steve mocks Ricky's fear of his mum, and worries that a lack of swearing may compromise the quality of the show.
+Steve and Ricky discuss the impending split of The Spice Girls and rumours of Geri leaving following bullying from Scary Spice. Steve talks about being bullied by a pop star at school, Lionel Ritchie. Apparently the 14 year old Steve had no chance against a man with a string of top ten hits. Amazingly Ricky had a similar experience, being bullied at school by the band Hanson. Ricky and Steve play a fake ad for a helpline where upset Spice Girls fans can call Ricky to help them cope with Ginger's departure. An example of such a call is played; it inevitably ends in Ricky discussing mucky photos.
-====5. It's Ten Past Four====
+====5. After The Advert There'll Be Another Break ''(0:06:30)'' ====
-Ricky does a very professional, comprehensible link.
+Another innocuous link is followed by an advert for Muff Shandy's "Earplugs are Gay".
+====6. D'you Know Terry Wise? ''(0:07:20)'' ====
+Ricky asks if Steve remembers Pillsbury Dough, but he doesn’t.  Ricky then asks people to call in to inform Steve and insult him. Steve wonders if it’s a toy and Ricky tries to explain that it’s a type of food. Steve promises a reference to stump Gervais, but struggles. He conjures up Jamie and His Magic Torch, but Ricky's heard of it. Ricky remembers an ad he once saw of a boy with magic pipes, but Steve has no idea what he’s talking about again. They play another fake ad for some new toiletries - "Panderers with Aloe Bahaha Groovy Caring Stuff" which can be used as a 'clunge protector' for your granddad.
-====6. My Brain Needs Noise To Speak, Motherfucker, Motherfucker====
+====7. Super Slick On The Mic ''(0:09:44)'' ====
-A fake advert for the band Muff Shandy and their new single ''Earplugs are gay'', with Ricky on vocals.
+Steve has figured out what Pillsbury Dough is, and he explains the previous advert for people who could not understand Ricky. Steve explains how he communicates using thought and careful word selection, unlike Ricky. They argue about Gervais' excitement undermining his speech. A listener asks if Ricky remembers a show called Billy Liar, and he does except Steve points out there was no such programme but does remember the film, the play and the book of the same name. Ricky demands booze and Steve asks for margaritas. Ricky was on the margaritas the night before, as was Steve, in what turns out to be a filthy innuendo.
-====7. Singing The Praises Of Penk ====
+====8. Were You Crawling? ''(0:12:07)'' ====
-Steve asks Ricky about him allegedly signing autographs, which Ricky did whilst at an Xfm 'roadshow' in a Dr. Martens shop, he signed at least 30 or 40, Gary Crowley, who was also there, apparently looks like a spotty shop assistant. Ricky tells a joke, they're only allowed to tell one a show lest they become like Steve Penk, not that there's anything wrong with Penk.
+Ricky has a very limited set of DJ patter that he’s memorized. Steve recounts an anecdote about a very short man with a face that looked stapled together that he encountered on the way to Ricky's house.  When the little man asked for a ride on Steve's back Steve said no and encountered some hostility. If it had been a little woman, however, he might have been more accommodating.
-====8. Why Should I Stay? ====
+====9. Steve Made Me Do It ''(0:14:17)'' ====
-Steve gives us a reason to stay tuned - an upcoming movie quiz!
+Ricky introduces some ads, and then plays The Housemartins.
-Two more fake adverts, one for Brainmangle and their new single ''Blood, Sweat and Cum'' and one for  ''Fuck Like a Rhino'' by Velvet Nazi 666 UK.
-====9. Is Ricky Gervais A Very Good DJ?====
+====10. You Know She Had Two No<small>s</small> ''(0:14:25)'' ====
-They talk about the impending split of The Spice Girls and rumours of Geri leaving following bullying from Scary Spice, Steve was also bullied by a pop star at school, that pop star was Lionel Ritchie. Apparently the 14 year old Steve had no chance against a man with a string of top ten hits. Amazingly Ricky had a similar experience, being bullied at school by a whole band. That band was Hanson. The bastards. A skit plays advertising a helpline where upset Spice Girls fans can call Ricky to help them cope with Ginger's departure. An example of such a call is played, it inevitably ends in Ricky discussing mucky photos.
+Steve explains that he chose The Housemartins track because it reminded him of a girl he used to go out with. The girl was quite odd; she used to decide things by selecting random pieces of paper with different answers on it. This method was how she decided to stop seeing Steve.
-====10. After The Advert There'll Be Another Break====
+====11. Xfm Ginger Helpline ''(0:16:27)'' ====
-Another innocuous link, followed by the ''Earplugs are gay'' advert again.
+They play another ad about the Ginger Spice helpline with a new fake caller asking for help from Ricky.
-====11. D'you Know Terry Wise?====
+====12. Ricky Lists What is Coming ''(0:17:28)'' ====
-Steve doesn't remember Pillsbury Dough, Ricky asks people to call in to inform Steve of his twatitude, Steve promises a reference to stump Gervais, but struggles. Was the Pillsbury Doughboy a toy? No! Though Ricky does play with his food. Steve conjures up Jamie and His Magic Torch, but Ricky's heard of it. Ricky rambles on like an old incoherent drunk, Steve asks if he's on crack. Another sketch advertising some new toiletries - "Panderers with Aloe Bahaha Groovy Caring Stuff" which can be used as a 'clunge protector' for your granddad.
+Ad breaks, more music, and competitions are promised to come soon.
-====12. Super Slick On The Mic ====
+====13. Competition Time! ''(0:17:58)'' ====
-Steve has figured out what Pillsbury Dough meant, and explains what the advert was for those who could not understand Ricky's nonsense, Steve explains how he communicates using thought and careful word selection, unlike Ricky who just goes "words, words, words, stop, words, words, annoyed, annoyed, words", they argue about Gervais' excitement undermining his speech, he should never start a sentence with 'and' or 'because'. A listener ask does Ricky remember a show called Billy Liar, he does, except Steve points out there was no such program (he is wrong - there was), but does remember the film, the play and the book of the same name. Ricky demands booze and Steve asks for margaritas, apparently Ricky was on the margaritas the night before, Steve claims he was too, in what turns out to be a filthy innuendo.
+Ricky and Steve play a pre-recorded clip from a classic movie that the listeners need to name. Steve is impressed with the work Ricky has put in but he’s concerned about Ricky's reliance on constant swearing.  Ricky then starts swearing on live radio and it is magically being bleeped out for him. Yet when Steve swears, it doesn’t get bleeped.
-====13. Were You Crawling? ====
+====14. Competition Answers ''(0:21:25)'' ====
-Ricky has a very limited set of DJ patter. Steve recounts an anecdote about a very short man, with a face that looked stapled together, that he encountered on the way to Ricky's house. The little man asks for a ride on Steve's back, Steve says no and encounters some hostility. If it had been a little woman however, he might have been more accommodating.
+Steve wonders if Ricky gets bleeped in the pub as well, he’s still confused by the previous link. He then announces the winner of the competition and the answer to the film quiz.
-====14. Steve Made Me Do It====
+====15. Labour MP Attacked by Strange Freak ''(0:22:34)'' ====
-Ricky introduces some ads, then The Housemartins.
+Steve wonders if he can get Mo Mowlam to go out with him if he pledges money to the Labour Party. Ricky then speculates what the headlines would be. Next they play a fake advert for Tony Buddabing's ''Easy Metal'' featuring versions of "Fuck Like a Rhyno", "Earplugs are Gay" and "Blood, Sweat and Cum".
-====15. You Know She Had Two 'No's====
+====16. I Wish I Could Bleep Him Out ''(0:24:20)'' ====
-Steve explains why he chose The Housemartins track, it reminded him of a girl he used to go out with.
+Ricky and Steve hang around for the start of Lawrie Hallett's show. Lawrie complains that they left the place a mess so Ricky makes fun of his shirt.
-The girl was quite odd, obviously. She used to decide things by selecting random pieces of paper with different answers on. Should I carry on going out with Steve? No.
-====16. Big Block Of Ice ====
+==Quotes==
-They discuss using an ice arrow as a weapon, Ricky thinks it's a crap idea, so they solicit suggestions from the listeners on 0171 580 2000 or faxes on 0171 580 1234. They offer a pair of Embrace wristbands in return for the best entry.
+'''Steve:''' See when I want to explain something alright, Gervais, what I do is, I think 'What do I need to say, how can I best express it, which words shall I use and in what order ... When you want to express something you just go 'Words, words, words, words - stop. Words, words, oh, annoyed, annoyed, words..'  D'you know what I mean?  It's just gobbledygook, Gervais!<br>
-====17. Tell Her You're Gay Ray ====
-Ricky's been listening to Capital, they play the hits from the 70s, 80s and now, apparently, following on from the bullying by Hanson, another musician has been picking on Ricky - Paul Simon's been nicking his ideas. Ricky wrote a song called 'Lots of Ways to Leave a Lover', which Simon changed to '50 Ways to Leave Your Lover', very similar lyrics, but Simon's made it a bit snappier and sold millions of copies of it. They brainstorm some new lyrics, rubbish ones.
-====18. The Biscuit And Flesh-Eating Squirrel Of Old Regent's Park====
+'''Steve:''' Are you on crack?
-Steve reads out listener suggestions as to the 'perfect murder', including using a leg of lamb in a Tales of the Unexpected-inspired killing and freezing someone's feet in water to drown them. The winner is Greg, who suggests covering a naked person in crushed biscuits while naked in a park, so they are then eaten to death by vampire squirrels, he gets wristbands to see Embrace.
-====19. Ricky's Got The Best Voice====
-The boys announce who has won the rest of the Embrace wristbands, and give details of where they can be collected. Ricky reads a letter from Tracy Mahoney, complimenting him and Steve, Ricky then sets a question for listeners to win tickets to see The Jesus and Mary Chain, "What is Steve?"
-====20. You've Got Very Similar Gills====
+'''Ricky:''' Happy birthday, Charlotte. No… Catherine, it’s ''from'' Charlotte, she’s 20. <br>
-Answers to the "What is Steve?" question have come in: "A lonely man", "alien sex fiend", "married to his sister", "murdering squirrel", "king of the insects", "a love machine" (made-up), "Jesus" and a "gabby git". The last two win the tickets.
+'''Steve:''' Yeah, man, you’re super slick on the mic. Oh yessiree Gervais.
-==Quotes==
+==Trivia==
-'''Steve:''' See when I want to explain something alright, Gervais, what I do is, I think 'What do I need to say, how can I best express it, which words shall I use and in what order ... when you want to express something you just go "Words, words, words, words, stop, words, words, oh, annoyed, annoyed, words", D'you know what I mean, it's just gobbledygook, Gervais!<br>
+*[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Billy_Liar#TV_series Billy Liar].
 ==Playlist==
-Mock Turtles - ''Can You Dig It?'' <br>
-Faith No More - ''From Out Of Nowhere''<br>
-Radiohead - ''No Surprises'' <br>
-Kenny Rogers - ''Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Was In)'' <br>
 Jesus and Mary Chain - ''Black''<br>
 Oasis - ''Married With Children''<br>
@@ Line 84: / Line 84: @@
 Portishead - ''Numb''<br>
 The Housemartins - ''Happy Hour''<br>
-Delgados - ''Everything Goes Around This Water''<br>
+Delgados - ''Everything Goes Around''<br>
-Mudhoney - ''Night of the Hunted''<br>
+Babybird - ''Bad Old Man''<br>
-Oasis - ''Some Might Say''<br>
+Scope - ''Song for Bobby''<br>
-Nirvana - ''On A Plain''<br>
+Radiohead - ''Black Star''<br>
-Scott 4 - ''Your Kingdom to Dust''<br>
+Pulp - ''Do You Remember The First Time''<br>
-Blur - ''Song 2''<br>
+Kenickie - ''I Would Fix You''
-Pulp - ''Babies''<br>
-Suede - ''We Are The Pigs''<br>
-==Download==
-[http://www.zshare.net/audio/6801474f0a2be 31 May 1998]
 {{Xfm Box}}
 [[Category: Episode Pages|0.01]]


Series 0 \| Series 1 \| Series 2 \| Series 3 \| Series 4
Presenters	Ricky Gervais \| Stephen Merchant \| Karl Pilkington
Others	Claire Sturgess \| Ian Camfield \| Simon Pegg \| Nick Frost
Features	Monkey News \| Rockbusters \| Song For The Ladies \| Song For The Lovers Hip-Hop Hooray \| Cheap as Chimps \| White Van Karl \| Songs of Phrase Cheeky Freak of the Week \| Do We Need 'Em? \| More...