14 September 2002

Xfm Series 2 August 2002 - August 2003 List of episodes

Episodes: 24 August 2002 (Transcript) 31 August 2002 (Transcript) 07 September 2002 (Transcript) 14 September 2002 (Transcript) ('Best of') 21 September 2002 (Transcript) 28 September 2002 (Transcript) 05 October 2002 (Transcript) 12 October 2002 (Transcript) 19 October 2002 (Transcript) 26 October 2002 (Transcript) 02 November 2002 (Transcript) 09 November 2002 (Transcript) 16 November 2002 (Transcript) 23 November 2002 (Transcript) 30 November 2002 (Transcript) 07 December 2002 (Transcript) 14 December 2002 (Transcript) 21 December 2002 (Transcript) 28 December 2002 (Transcript) ('Best of') 04 January 2003 (Transcript) 11 January 2003 (Transcript) 18 January 2003 (Transcript) 25 January 2003 (Transcript) 01 February 2003 (Transcript) 08 February 2003 (Transcript) 15 February 2003 (Transcript) 22 February 2003 (Transcript) ('Best of') 01 March 2003 (Transcript) ('Best of') 08 March 2003 (Transcript) 15 March 2003 (Transcript) 22 March 2003 (Transcript) 29 March 2003 (Transcript) 05 April 2003 (Transcript) 12 April 2003 (Transcript) 19 April 2003 (Transcript) 26 April 2003 (Transcript) 03 May 2003 (Transcript) 10 May 2003 (Transcript) 17 May 2003 (Transcript) 31 May 2003 (Transcript) 07 June 2003 (Transcript) 14 June 2003 (Transcript) 21 June 2003 (Transcript) 28 June 2003 05 July 2003 12 July 2003 19 July 2003 26 July 2003 02 August 2003 09 August 2003 16 August 2003

Ricky is on holiday in Italy, Steve can't be bothered to come in, so Karl is left holding the fort, playing the 'best' bits.

Track Listing

For a full transcript of this episode see 14 September 2002/Transcript.

1. Y-Front Discussion (0:00:00)

Karl introduces the 'Best of' show. The first clip has Ricky and Steve contemplating Karl's query of whether men actually use the flap in the underwear. Steve reads some trivia about the ancient Egyptians training baboons to wait on tables. Karl gives an animal fact about shaving a tiger (it's still stripy without the fur). And Ricky gives his animal fact about the colour of a polar bear's skin.
Originally Broadcast: 26 January 2002

2. Tall Tales Of The Unexpected (0:06:40)

Karl objects to Ricky's story about a man who had his head cut off and spoke to his mate after decapitation. He says it would work if it were chickens. Karl tells a story about a woman who was buried alive on top of the man who was supposed to break her out.
Originally Broadcast: 06 April 2002

3. Apparently, Some Lad Had A Horse In His House Or Something (0:13:06)

Karl introduces another link, saying it's not the best bits - it's the first bit he found when editing. This clip has Karl telling the story of a family from the Manchester estate he grew up on who kept a horse in their house.
Originally Broadcast: 06 April 2002

4. Rough Woman Looks Like Pauline Quirke (0:17:47)

When a charity visits Karl's school and presents some fundraising ideas, Karl decides to raise money for himself by taking some "snippins" off his mother's flowers and selling them. Karl then talks more about the family with a horse in the house, who also had a beautiful child who grew up to have patchy hair and chase cars.
Originally Broadcast: 06 April 2002

5. Karl's Prepared Some Quotes (0:23:20)

Karl presents the homework that Ricky set him, which was to study some famous quotes. Karl then challenges Ricky and Steve to guess which of the three quotes he read out is the one he's made up.
Originally Broadcast: 13 April 2002

6. Catfood Stinks Don't It (0:26:19)

Ricky and Steve get to the true meaning of Karl's cat food quote.
Originally Broadcast: 13 April 2002

7. Ricky And Karl Do A Bit Of Light Thieving (0:30:09)

When Ricky was a child he swapped his brother's Elvis records for some chemicals, but he felt guilty and confessed to his mum. She said she wouldn't tell his brother if he was a good boy. But years later Ricky found out that his brother had actually given him the records in the first place. Karl matches Ricky's story with one where he unnecessarily confessed to nicking stuff.
Originally Broadcast: 20 April 2002

8. Robin Ince - Lucky Boy (0:34:19)

Karl tells Steve about meeting Ricky's long-suffering friend Robin Ince earlier in the week. Robin got annoyed when Karl kept asking him about embarrassing stories that Ricky had made up, such as having to sit on Spam to get rid of worms. But even when Ricky tells Karl he made the stories up, Karl insists that "there's no smoke without fire".
Originally Broadcast: 13 April 2002

9. Bacon Does Work (0:40:00)

A quick link in which Ricky says a caller has backed up Karl's claim that people have put bacon on their head to get worms out.
Originally Broadcast: 13 April 2002

10. Karl Versus Mr Freeze Pop (0:40:39)

Karl tells the traumatic story of choking on a Mr. Freeze ice pole, which gave Karl a near-death experience that changed his life forever for three days. Karl also tells another story where he tried to do his paper round but ended up dangling thirty foot up in the air from a bathroom window. Also you may notice sirens in the background during this discussion.
Originally Broadcast: 13 April 2002

11. Karl Lateral Damage (0:49:53)

Karl gives another introduction. In this clip Karl gets to grips with lateral thinking puzzles.
Originally Broadcast: 20 April 2002

12. Don't Be Joining The Army, When There's A War On (0:53:18)

Steve is baffled by a story about soldiers who are complaining that war isn't very nice. Karl says his soldier brother avoided the Falklands War by getting a note from his mum. Karl's brother was eventually kicked out of the army for running off with the sergeant's wife and nipping to the shops for some fags in a tank.
Originally Broadcast: 09 March 2002