17 May 2003: Difference between revisions
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==Track Listing== | ==Track Listing== | ||
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!{{sectionhead|#EEEEEE|#AAAAAA|left|''For a | !{{sectionhead|#EEEEEE|#AAAAAA|left|''For a full transcript of this episode see [[17 May 2003/Transcript]].''}} | ||
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====1. | |||
====1. [[17 May 2003/Transcript#Bit of a Blow at the Sonys|Bit of a Blow at the Sonys]] ''(0:00:00)''==== | |||
Nothing won at the Sonys. Ricky intros the show and their new efforts. Steve reads out an email from a listener who wants to know if Ricky skis. | Nothing won at the Sonys. Ricky intros the show and their new efforts. Steve reads out an email from a listener who wants to know if Ricky skis. | ||
====2. | ====2. [[17 May 2003/Transcript#Do You Still Do Prescriptions?|Do You Still Do Prescriptions?]] ''(0:02:19)''==== | ||
Ricky and Steve have asked [[Dr Neil Fox]] why they didn't win anything and play out a conversation with him. Steve would like a second opinion and Ricky wants to immediately forget the advice because it's easier. | Ricky and Steve have asked [[Dr Neil Fox]] why they didn't win anything and play out a conversation with him. Steve would like a second opinion and Ricky wants to immediately forget the advice because it's easier. | ||
====3. | ====3. [[17 May 2003/Transcript#You Can Have Your Cake and Eat Tit|You Can Have Your Cake and Eat Tit]] ''(0:05:35)'' ==== | ||
Their show is up 34% and Ricky wants to know if they're getting a pay raise. Ricky attended a presenter's meeting to annoy Karl. Xfm figures have gone down because of the war, and Ricky wants to know how many listeners died in it. Afterwards the gang went out for drinks and some to Stringfellows. Ricky and Karl are perplexed. Karl makes an analogy and would want a namecheck from Newton if he'd been one of the giants upon whose shoulders Newton had stood. You can't have your cake and eat it unless it's a breast cake. | Their show is up 34% and Ricky wants to know if they're getting a pay raise. Ricky attended a presenter's meeting to annoy Karl. Xfm figures have gone down because of the war, and Ricky wants to know how many listeners died in it. Afterwards the gang went out for drinks and some to Stringfellows. Ricky and Karl are perplexed. Karl makes an analogy and would want a namecheck from Newton if he'd been one of the giants upon whose shoulders Newton had stood. You can't have your cake and eat it unless it's a breast cake. | ||
====4. | ====4. [[17 May 2003/Transcript#It's Time I Went A-Wooing|It's Time I Went A-Wooing]] ''(0:13:27)''==== | ||
Sky One show about reality show stars after-the-fact. [[Rik Waller]] has a huge leather jacket. Darren Day wrote a song in a hotel room and reminds Ricky of adolescent writing. Steve, always [[Fan Animations#Unlucky in Love|unlucky in love]], talks about the time he was in a school play and vied for the affections of a young lady by [[Steve Reads Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance|reading ''Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance'']]. Scott Hanson and his long blond hair. Songs and poems about the man. Ricky recites a poem a schoolmate wrote when they were 15. | Sky One show about reality show stars after-the-fact. [[Rik Waller]] has a huge leather jacket. Darren Day wrote a song in a hotel room and reminds Ricky of adolescent writing. Steve, always [[Fan Animations#Unlucky in Love|unlucky in love]], talks about the time he was in a school play and vied for the affections of a young lady by [[Steve Reads Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance|reading ''Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance'']]. Scott Hanson and his long blond hair. Songs and poems about the man. Ricky recites a poem a schoolmate wrote when they were 15. | ||
| Line 27: | Line 28: | ||
''What was my destiny?'' | ''What was my destiny?'' | ||
====5. | ====5. [[17 May 2003/Transcript#A Lot Going On In Me Head|A Lot Going On In Me Head]] ''(0:19:19)''==== | ||
Ricky's got some [[Monkey News]] about monkeys who like being groomed. Karl looks like a half-inflated balloon. Two monkeys grooming in Karl's head. Karl's school diary was always about getting potatoes and bread. [[Hugh Fays]]. Karl's 13th birthday in which [[Karl's Mam|his mam]] had him go buy a cake. Stories Karl wrote as a kid always ended with him waking up from a dream. Karl's teachers had scams going on. Karl hasn't slept well since he was about 12. The time he laughed himself to sleep. | Ricky's got some [[Monkey News]] about monkeys who like being groomed. Karl looks like a half-inflated balloon. Two monkeys grooming in Karl's head. Karl's school diary was always about getting potatoes and bread. [[Hugh Fays]]. Karl's 13th birthday in which [[Karl's Mam|his mam]] had him go buy a cake. Stories Karl wrote as a kid always ended with him waking up from a dream. Karl's teachers had scams going on. Karl hasn't slept well since he was about 12. The time he laughed himself to sleep. | ||
====6. | ====6. [[17 May 2003/Transcript#What Have You Got For Us, Karl?|What Have You Got For Us, Karl?]] ''(0:28:53)''==== | ||
Ricky's mad because he thinks Karl hung up on an old man. The man is still there and how. Ricky reads off notes about listener calls but fails at that, to Steve's anger. [[Rockbusters]] prizes have improved and Ricky is in hysterics and Steve is giggling over the shambolic clues. | Ricky's mad because he thinks Karl hung up on an old man. The man is still there and how. Ricky reads off notes about listener calls but fails at that, to Steve's anger. [[Rockbusters]] prizes have improved and Ricky is in hysterics and Steve is giggling over the shambolic clues. | ||
====7. | ====7. [[17 May 2003/Transcript#If It 'appens It 'appens|If It 'appens It 'appens]] ''(0:35:16)''==== | ||
Karl and [[Suzanne]] will have kids only if it's an accident. If you think about having kids, the negatives outweigh the positives. Karl looked into whether marriage saves money but it doesn't seem to. Suzanne would stay home with a kid but Karl doesn't like that idea. If they won a load of money, Suzanne would want to go to Egypt but Karl's already seen it on the telly. What would Karl do with £250,000? There's a gibbon for sale, and Ricky is angered by the idea of Donal McIntyre doing [[Cheap as Chimps]]. | Karl and [[Suzanne]] will have kids only if it's an accident. If you think about having kids, the negatives outweigh the positives. Karl looked into whether marriage saves money but it doesn't seem to. Suzanne would stay home with a kid but Karl doesn't like that idea. If they won a load of money, Suzanne would want to go to Egypt but Karl's already seen it on the telly. What would Karl do with £250,000? There's a gibbon for sale, and Ricky is angered by the idea of Donal McIntyre doing [[Cheap as Chimps]]. | ||
====8. | ====8. [[17 May 2003/Transcript#Eating in the Bath|Eating in the Bath]] ''(0:42:29)''==== | ||
Steve thinks Ricky would set the worst example as a parent. Ricky in the bath eating chicken and [[Jane]] calls him "Caligula". Oranges are too messy to eat. The girls from t.A.T.u. are in the studio. | Steve thinks Ricky would set the worst example as a parent. Ricky in the bath eating chicken and [[Jane]] calls him "Caligula". Oranges are too messy to eat. The girls from t.A.T.u. are in the studio. | ||
====9. | ====9. [[17 May 2003/Transcript#Are You Comfortable Being Nude?|Are You Comfortable Being Nude?]] ''(0:47:57)''==== | ||
Karl's eye would naturally be drawn to a man's parts when watching ballet. [[Karl Looks at a Naked Man Before a Naked Lady|Karl at a night out]] watching two men and two women in stage stripping, and first checks out the man. Karl and Suzanne in Tenerife are interrupted during sex by a fireman banging on the door. | Karl's eye would naturally be drawn to a man's parts when watching ballet. [[Karl Looks at a Naked Man Before a Naked Lady|Karl at a night out]] watching two men and two women in stage stripping, and first checks out the man. Karl and Suzanne in Tenerife are interrupted during sex by a fireman banging on the door. | ||
====10. | ====10. [[17 May 2003/Transcript#A Monkey Called Marty|A Monkey Called Marty]] ''(0:55:44)''==== | ||
Ricky calls it "Blockbusters" by mistake and it's time for the answers. Steve gives the answer to Gina, who sent in a bit of monkey info about the band Chumbawamba. Karl's got Monkey News about a monkey typing to some scientists but it turns out it was written on 1st April. Ricky, Steve and Karl are young, gifted and black. | Ricky calls it "Blockbusters" by mistake and it's time for the answers. Steve gives the answer to Gina, who sent in a bit of monkey info about the band Chumbawamba. Karl's got Monkey News about a monkey typing to some scientists but it turns out it was written on 1st April. Ricky, Steve and Karl are young, gifted and black. | ||
| Line 63: | Line 64: | ||
Blur - ''Out of Time'' <br> | Blur - ''Out of Time'' <br> | ||
Black Grape - ''Kelly's Heroes'' <br> | Black Grape - ''Kelly's Heroes'' <br> | ||
Athlete - ''You | Athlete - ''You Got the Style'' <br> | ||
Placebo - ''This Picture'' <br> | Placebo - ''This Picture'' <br> | ||
R.E.M. - ''Near Wild Heaven'' <br> | R.E.M. - ''Near Wild Heaven'' <br> | ||
| Line 72: | Line 73: | ||
Martina Topley Bird - ''Need One'' <br> | Martina Topley Bird - ''Need One'' <br> | ||
[[David Bowie]] - ''Life on Mars'' <br> | [[David Bowie]] - ''Life on Mars'' <br> | ||
Bob and Marcia - ''Young, Gifted and Black''<br> | |||
==External Links== | ==External Links== | ||
* [http://www.dnforum.com/f77/monkey-learns-how-type-thread-25895.html Marty the Monkey] | * [http://www.dnforum.com/f77/monkey-learns-how-type-thread-25895.html Marty the Monkey] | ||
{{Xfm Box}} | {{Xfm Box}} | ||
Latest revision as of 13:31, 1 May 2021
After not picking up any awards at the Sonys, Ricky wants to turn a new leaf and announces they'll be having guests on the show, including Dr. Fox and the girls from t.A.T.u.
Track Listing
| For a full transcript of this episode see 17 May 2003/Transcript. |
|---|
1. Bit of a Blow at the Sonys (0:00:00)
Nothing won at the Sonys. Ricky intros the show and their new efforts. Steve reads out an email from a listener who wants to know if Ricky skis.
2. Do You Still Do Prescriptions? (0:02:19)
Ricky and Steve have asked Dr Neil Fox why they didn't win anything and play out a conversation with him. Steve would like a second opinion and Ricky wants to immediately forget the advice because it's easier.
3. You Can Have Your Cake and Eat Tit (0:05:35)
Their show is up 34% and Ricky wants to know if they're getting a pay raise. Ricky attended a presenter's meeting to annoy Karl. Xfm figures have gone down because of the war, and Ricky wants to know how many listeners died in it. Afterwards the gang went out for drinks and some to Stringfellows. Ricky and Karl are perplexed. Karl makes an analogy and would want a namecheck from Newton if he'd been one of the giants upon whose shoulders Newton had stood. You can't have your cake and eat it unless it's a breast cake.
4. It's Time I Went A-Wooing (0:13:27)
Sky One show about reality show stars after-the-fact. Rik Waller has a huge leather jacket. Darren Day wrote a song in a hotel room and reminds Ricky of adolescent writing. Steve, always unlucky in love, talks about the time he was in a school play and vied for the affections of a young lady by reading Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. Scott Hanson and his long blond hair. Songs and poems about the man. Ricky recites a poem a schoolmate wrote when they were 15.
The reason why
The reason why
The reason why I had to die
Did I bleed the blood of greed?
What was my destiny?
5. A Lot Going On In Me Head (0:19:19)
Ricky's got some Monkey News about monkeys who like being groomed. Karl looks like a half-inflated balloon. Two monkeys grooming in Karl's head. Karl's school diary was always about getting potatoes and bread. Hugh Fays. Karl's 13th birthday in which his mam had him go buy a cake. Stories Karl wrote as a kid always ended with him waking up from a dream. Karl's teachers had scams going on. Karl hasn't slept well since he was about 12. The time he laughed himself to sleep.
6. What Have You Got For Us, Karl? (0:28:53)
Ricky's mad because he thinks Karl hung up on an old man. The man is still there and how. Ricky reads off notes about listener calls but fails at that, to Steve's anger. Rockbusters prizes have improved and Ricky is in hysterics and Steve is giggling over the shambolic clues.
7. If It 'appens It 'appens (0:35:16)
Karl and Suzanne will have kids only if it's an accident. If you think about having kids, the negatives outweigh the positives. Karl looked into whether marriage saves money but it doesn't seem to. Suzanne would stay home with a kid but Karl doesn't like that idea. If they won a load of money, Suzanne would want to go to Egypt but Karl's already seen it on the telly. What would Karl do with £250,000? There's a gibbon for sale, and Ricky is angered by the idea of Donal McIntyre doing Cheap as Chimps.
8. Eating in the Bath (0:42:29)
Steve thinks Ricky would set the worst example as a parent. Ricky in the bath eating chicken and Jane calls him "Caligula". Oranges are too messy to eat. The girls from t.A.T.u. are in the studio.
9. Are You Comfortable Being Nude? (0:47:57)
Karl's eye would naturally be drawn to a man's parts when watching ballet. Karl at a night out watching two men and two women in stage stripping, and first checks out the man. Karl and Suzanne in Tenerife are interrupted during sex by a fireman banging on the door.
10. A Monkey Called Marty (0:55:44)
Ricky calls it "Blockbusters" by mistake and it's time for the answers. Steve gives the answer to Gina, who sent in a bit of monkey info about the band Chumbawamba. Karl's got Monkey News about a monkey typing to some scientists but it turns out it was written on 1st April. Ricky, Steve and Karl are young, gifted and black.
Rockbusters
They're having problems; they haven't got any rice. C.C.
The Geordie fella doesn't know what he's been charged for. B.W.
If I had two bricks, and I had to throw them at two women; didn't hit any of 'em. M.M.
Quotes
Karl: You're not paid per listener.
Steve: It seems like it.
Karl: I just don't get it; you pay your £20, they dance in front of you but you're not allowed to touch. To me that's like going to a restaurant, ordering a nice big warm dinner and they put it in front of you but you can't eat it. It's going cold!
Ricky: I love songs you write when you're 14. You know, three chords and it's always stuff like 'There's a man/He's a lonely man/Take a look at him/He looks a bit like me/It is me'!
Karl: When you're a kid, I remember really loving going to bed. There was one time where I actually laughed myself to sleep, 'cause I couldn't believe me luck.
Playlist
Blur - Out of Time
Black Grape - Kelly's Heroes
Athlete - You Got the Style
Placebo - This Picture
R.E.M. - Near Wild Heaven
Radiohead- There There
Badly Drawn Boy - All Possibilities
The White Stripes - Seven Nation Army
Lynyrd Skynryd - Sweet Home Alabama
Martina Topley Bird - Need One
David Bowie - Life on Mars
Bob and Marcia - Young, Gifted and Black
External Links
| Series 0 | Series 1 | Series 2 | Series 3 | Series 4 | ||
| Presenters | Ricky Gervais | Stephen Merchant | Karl Pilkington | |
| Others | Claire Sturgess | Ian Camfield | Simon Pegg | Nick Frost | |
| Features | Monkey News | Rockbusters | Song For The Ladies | Song For The Lovers Hip-Hop Hooray | Cheap as Chimps | White Van Karl | Songs of Phrase Cheeky Freak of the Week | Do We Need 'Em? | More... | |
