02 August 2003: Difference between revisions

Latest revision as of 09:54, 31 July 2020

Xfm Series 2
August 2002 - August 2003
List of episodes

Episodes:

24 August 2002 (Transcript)
31 August 2002 (Transcript)
07 September 2002 (Transcript)
14 September 2002 (Transcript) ('Best of')
21 September 2002 (Transcript)
28 September 2002 (Transcript)
05 October 2002 (Transcript)
12 October 2002 (Transcript)
19 October 2002 (Transcript)
26 October 2002 (Transcript)
02 November 2002 (Transcript)
09 November 2002 (Transcript)
16 November 2002 (Transcript)
23 November 2002 (Transcript)
30 November 2002 (Transcript)
07 December 2002 (Transcript)
14 December 2002 (Transcript)
21 December 2002 (Transcript)
28 December 2002 (Transcript) ('Best of')
04 January 2003 (Transcript)
11 January 2003 (Transcript)
18 January 2003 (Transcript)
25 January 2003 (Transcript)
01 February 2003 (Transcript)
08 February 2003 (Transcript)
15 February 2003 (Transcript)
22 February 2003 (Transcript) ('Best of')
01 March 2003 (Transcript) ('Best of')
08 March 2003 (Transcript)
15 March 2003 (Transcript)
22 March 2003 (Transcript)
29 March 2003 (Transcript)
05 April 2003 (Transcript)
12 April 2003 (Transcript)
19 April 2003 (Transcript)
26 April 2003 (Transcript)
03 May 2003 (Transcript)
10 May 2003 (Transcript)
17 May 2003 (Transcript)
31 May 2003 (Transcript)
07 June 2003 (Transcript)
14 June 2003 (Transcript)
21 June 2003 (Transcript)
28 June 2003
05 July 2003
12 July 2003
19 July 2003
26 July 2003
02 August 2003
09 August 2003
16 August 2003

Track Listing

1. A Closer Look at My Cock (Soup) (0:00:00)

Some great music coming up, plus Pete Skinner with his Wacky Weather report. Ricky's brought in some Cock Soup.

2. Bondage Shop: OPEN (0:01:13)

Karl is allergic to having his head rubbed, and spilled coffee on Ricky's leg in response. Karl walked past a bondage shop ope at 10:30am. More cock soup chat. Karl saw a programme where "a fella was a little lad, and a woman". Aphrodite? The doctor probably wasn't sarcastic to the parents when the baby was born. The baby wasn't sort of well hung so the doctor recommended making it a woman, back in the day when a baby was ugly so they'd make it a boy.

3. A One-Night Trick (0:08:44)

Hermaphrodite conversation continues. The teenager years when you look a bit odd. When a penis is attached, do they wack on a dead one? Donut/donor confusion. Noel Edmonds is not a man, Keith Chegwin, John Wayne Bobbit. The French artist who cut his knob off for art.

4. Are You a Fan of the Third Reich? (0:13:20)

Steve reads an article about a man trying sell Hitler's penis. Steve is incredulous about the the validity of the specimen. The Albert Hall has one of his balls, and Steve hopes it doesn't fall into the hands of a crazed scientist. In a London museum, Karl saw a metal device which impedes arousal in men. The women back then were filthy and stunk.

5. Happy 60th Birthday This Year (0:18:21)

Steve has a special message for Mick Jagger. Ricky wants to include Bryan Ferry.

6. The Well Known Phrase There, Sweeping the Nation (0:19:00)

Songs of Phrase, you might win if you even get two right. It has no fan base and no one championing it. Karl's face look like a kid who heard his parent can't afford a Christmas present this year, or Chris Evans when they cancelled Girls and Boys. I Know You're Just 16 But Looking All of 21; That's Because Chinese Look Older. Steve reads the barnstorming prizes - everyone's going crazy for Mower. The Polyphonic Spree will only make 40 quid each.

7. Spandau Ballet Golfy Golfy Golf Cart (0:23:49)

Dominic Mohan is in the paper today, writing about the demise of the Radio 1 and calling upon people including Ricky to revive it. Steve is baffled. Ricky would bring back some of his catch phrases and comedy characters, including Ho-Lee Fuk but with no racist accent. A new character named Dirty Old Queer. Remember when Moyles changed the words of This is My Moment to "This is My Motor"? When Ricky and Steve tried to phone up with a golf-related song. Ding dong! Quack quack oops.

8. Another One of Them Popular Things Round Our Way (0:28:11)

Elbow is an exception to The Stadium Test. They haven't taught the listeners anything yet. Karl thinks people listen to Heart to hear Simply Red. On Magic, they do 5 hour shifts and read their own news. Are leaves ever late for work because there's people on the tracks? For one night only, can we back Educating Ricky? Galileo chat. Stop messing with that, make a telly. A fella who said that women shouldn't wear trousers. Leggings are a terrible idea. The woman whose kid had a horse in the house worked on a sex line and wore them. The people around where Karl grew up who had big eyelids.

9. Wait Till You Get to Thirty (0:38:32)

A Chinese listener has written who is often mistaken to be younger. Another has a mate named Oy. A good freaky program is going to be on this week, with a woman with a big head. Karl thinks she looks like a cartoon. Another chat about how they'd be identified in restaurants. What does Karl find nice or brilliant with the world? A nice game of snooker can be ruined when Ricky says "Look at his little monkey hands" or when Steve peers over the cubicle at him in the toilet. Ricky wants to put The Darkness in a show they write.

10. I'm Thinking of Being Homeless Outside the Royal Albert Hall (0:43:40)

Steve is livid about having been approached by a homeless man from Liverpool. A programme about Oxford Street showed The Salvation Army's room where they collect clothing, including a load of ties. Karl doesn't think it's a good plan to send spectacles to Africa, lest they realise how rubbish it is around there. South Africa are in a load of debt and that's without any shops. Who just spent a billion quid in Dixons?

11. Your Dreads are Awful (0:49:02)

Steve supports a musical festival in Bristol, this year featuring Robert Plant. Steve wants to give some massive props to the St John's Ambulance people. Ricky thinks the Salvation Army is great, playing that bloody tambourine rain or shine. Does the Salvation Army get called up if needed? Who's the best person there is? Ricky will check with Carol Vorderman or Esther Rantzen, but Karl's annoyed with Carol's show because other people might deserve new kitchens.

12. Just a Little Monkey Getting On With It (0:55:30)

What was Ricky doing in 1978? Songs of Phrase answers and a winner from Bognor Regis. Monkey News is about what happened to the astronaut monkey after he went into space. They didn't even bother to bring Laika the dog back. Steve inspects Karl's source.

Quotes

Ricky: That is mental, Karl! It's the most convoluted, ridiculous - racist - piece of material, ever to be uttered on radio!
Steve: Play it again!

Songs of Phrase

I Know You're Just 16, But Looking All Of 21, That's Because The Chinese Look Older

Waterfront - "Cry" (I know you're just 16, but looking all of 21.) Mistakenly referred to as 'Hue & Cry' by Karl.
Dean Martin - "That's Amore" (That's)
Jane's Addiction - "Just Because" (because)
Phillip Bailey - "Chinese Wall" (the Chinese)
Roxette - "The Look" (look)
George Michael - "Older" (older.)

Trivia

Ricky's proposed Radio 1 nickname, "The Furry Shreddie", is a reference to DJ Dave Lee Travis who dubbed himself "The Hairy Cornflake" when taking over as host of the Radio 1 Breakfast Show. "Quack quack oops" was a popular sound effect used on his show.

When Ricky talks about phoning in to Chris Moyles' show, he professes to attempting to do so under the name of 'Derek', while also using the voice of Derek Noakes.

Playlist

Kings of Leon - Molly's Chambers
The Darkness - Growing on Me
Bruce Springsteen - Atlantic City
Longview - Further'
The Rolling Stones - Beast of Burden
Starsailor - Silence is Easy
The Smiths - Panic
Elbow - Fallen Angel
Muse - Time is Running Out
Radiohead - Let Down
The Thrills - Santa Cruz
Eddie & the Hot Rods - Do Anything You Want to Do
The Verve - Sonnet

External Links

The Sun article on Hitler's penis


Series 0 \| Series 1 \| Series 2 \| Series 3 \| Series 4
Presenters	Ricky Gervais \| Stephen Merchant \| Karl Pilkington
Others	Claire Sturgess \| Ian Camfield \| Simon Pegg \| Nick Frost
Features	Monkey News \| Rockbusters \| Song For The Ladies \| Song For The Lovers Hip-Hop Hooray \| Cheap as Chimps \| White Van Karl \| Songs of Phrase Cheeky Freak of the Week \| Do We Need 'Em? \| More...

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
-Kings of Leon...Molly's Chambers.
+{{Template:Infobox_Xfm_Series_2}}
-Steve brought in some soup--it's Cock Soup. OOOH, we're a little naughty today.
-Cock Soup--with crackers or toast.
+==Track Listing==
-The Darkness--Growing on Me.
-What mood is Karl in this week. Karl's head is red. "I think I'm allergic to having me head rubbed" Ricky had been squeezing his head. Karl spilled hot coffee on ricky's leg. "sorry"
+====1. A Closer Look at My Cock (Soup)  ''(0:00:00)''====
-Karl walking to work. Passing the shops that are open early. News agents, good, coffee shops, they're doing well in the morning, the odd restaurant, preparing for lunch, fair enough.
+Some great music coming up, plus Pete Skinner with his Wacky Weather report.  [[Ricky]]'s brought in some Cock Soup.
-further down the road "Bondage Shop open...half past ten"  Ricky--"busy?"
-"There's a couple in"
+====2. Bondage Shop: OPEN  ''(0:01:13)''====
-What was karl doing in there? "just having a browse"
+[[Karl]] is allergic to having his head rubbed, and spilled coffee on Ricky's leg in response.  Karl walked past a bondage shop ope at 10:30am.  More cock soup chat.  Karl saw a programme where "a fella was a little lad, and a woman".  Aphrodite?  The doctor probably wasn't sarcastic to the parents when the baby was born.  The baby wasn't sort of well hung so the doctor recommended making it a woman, back in the day when a baby was ugly so they'd make it a boy.
-More cock soup discussion....in this day and age they call it that?
-Karl then talks about seeing a program about a hermaphrodite. Only he thinks the term is "aphrodi-tee" so...lot's of discussion about boys and girls an' that.
+====3. A One-Night Trick  ''(0:08:44)''====
-what kind of doctor says, let's chop off the knob cause he's a little shortchanged?
+Hermaphrodite conversation continues.  The teenager years when you look a bit odd.  When a penis is attached, do they wack on a dead one?  Donut/donor confusion.  Noel Edmonds is not a man, Keith Chegwin, John Wayne Bobbit.  The French artist who cut his knob off for art.
-Bruce Springsteen song now. Atlantic City
-More hermaphrodite talk.
+====4. Are You a Fan of the Third Reich?  ''(0:13:20)''====
-Which goes on to talk about John Bobbitt having his willy cut off by his wife, and having it reattached, then him becoming a porn star.
+[[Steve]] reads an article about a man trying sell [[Adolf Hitler|Hitler]]'s penis.  Steve is incredulous about the the validity of the specimen.  The Albert Hall has one of his balls, and Steve hopes it doesn't fall into the hands of a crazed scientist.  In a London museum, Karl saw a metal device which impedes arousal in men.  The women back then were filthy and stunk.
-Performance Artist who cut his knob off. "That's only a one night trick innit" says karl.
-Think of that? The french are funny though.
+====5. Happy 60th Birthday This Year  ''(0:18:21)''====
-Longview--Further
+Steve has a special message for Mick Jagger.  Ricky wants to include Bryan Ferry.
-More Knob News. Some guy trying to sell what he claims is Hitlers penis, for 12,000 pounds?
-"You're never gonna believe who's doing you now Love..."
+====6. The Well Known Phrase There, Sweeping the Nation ''(0:19:00)''====
-So--you raid Hitler's bunker, and your first thought is....let's take his john thomas?
+[[Songs of Phrase]], you might win if you even get two right.  It has no fan base and no one championing it.  Karl's face look like a kid who heard his parent can't afford a Christmas present this year, or Chris Evans when they cancelled ''Girls and Boys''.  I Know You're Just 16 But Looking All of 21; That's Because Chinese Look Older.  Steve reads the barnstorming prizes - everyone's going crazy for Mower.  The Polyphonic Spree will only make 40 quid each.
-Karl remembers a device in Victorian days. He thinks it is a torture device. But it is most likely the device to stop boys from wanking. Karl--there weren't any good lookin women then anyway"
-"All victorian women...filthy and stinky"
+====7. Spandau Ballet Golfy Golfy Golf Cart  ''(0:23:49)''====
-Rolling Stones--Beast of Burden. for the first time on XFM
+Dominic Mohan is in the paper today, writing about the demise of the Radio 1 and calling upon people including Ricky to revive it.  Steve is baffled.  Ricky would bring back some of his catch phrases and comedy characters, including [[Ho-Lee Fuk]] but with no racist accent.  A new character named [[Dirty Old Queer]].  Remember when [[Chris Moyles|Moyles]] changed the words of ''This is My Moment'' to "This is My Motor"?  When Ricky and Steve tried to phone up with a golf-related song.  Ding dong!  Quack quack oops.
-Happy 60th birthday this year for Mick Jagger
-Songs of phrase this week...
+====8. Another One of Them Popular Things Round Our Way ''(0:28:11)''====
-"I know you're just 16, but looking all of 21. That's because CHIIIIIIIIIIIIInese, look older" If there's any phrase with chinese in it, it will be phil bailey. phil played twice now, that's great royalties for him.
+Elbow is an exception to [[The Stadium Test]].  They haven't taught the listeners anything yet.  Karl thinks people listen to Heart to hear Simply Red.  On Magic, they do 5 hour shifts and read their own news.  Are leaves ever late for work because there's people on the tracks?  For one night only, can we back [[Educating Ricky]]?  Galileo chat.  Stop messing with that, make a telly.  A fella who said that women shouldn't wear trousers.  Leggings are a terrible idea.  The woman whose kid had a horse in the house worked on a sex line and wore them.  The people around where Karl grew up who had big eyelids.
-Steve reads the prizes. Play it again Karl.
-Steve reads a blurb from an article about the demise of Radio 1. And Ricky Gervais is listed as a savior?
+====9. Wait Till You Get to Thirty  ''(0:38:32)''====
-Ricky could do that. He'd be the furry shreddy. Bring Holy Fuk back etc. Do the wacky jingles and sound effects for the breakfast show. Dirty old queer.
+A Chinese listener has written who is often [[The Chinese Don't Age Well|mistaken]] to be younger.  Another has a mate named Oy.  A good freaky program is going to be on this week, with a woman with a big head.  Karl thinks she looks like a cartoon.  Another chat about how they'd be identified in restaurants.  What does Karl find nice or brilliant with the world?  A nice game of snooker can be ruined when Ricky says "Look at his little monkey hands" or when Steve peers over the cubicle at him in the toilet.  Ricky wants to put The Darkness in a show they write.
-oh hello!
-Ricky recaps a story about how they tried to call Moyle's show just to say something stupid about golf-related songs on Moyle's-ies show. Wasted 40 quid on the phone.
+====10.  I'm Thinking of Being Homeless Outside the Royal Albert Hall ''(0:43:40)''====
-Elbow--Fallen Angel.
+Steve is livid about having been approached by a homeless man from Liverpool.  A programme about Oxford Street showed The Salvation Army's room where they collect clothing, including a load of ties.  Karl doesn't think it's a good plan to send spectacles to Africa, lest they realise how rubbish it is around there.  South Africa are in a load of debt and that's without any shops.  Who just spent a billion quid in Dixons?
-"Would you please welcome to the stage--Elbow"
-"Ladies and gentlemen...the Boomtown Rats"
+====11. Your Dreads are Awful ''(0:49:02)''====
-Halfway thru...Karl what-do ya think? "It's all right"
+Steve supports a musical festival in Bristol, this year featuring Robert Plant.  Steve wants to give some massive props to the St John's Ambulance people.  Ricky thinks the Salvation Army is great, playing that bloody tambourine rain or shine.  Does the Salvation Army get called up if needed?  Who's the best person there is?  Ricky will check with Carol Vorderman or Esther Rantzen, but Karl's annoyed with Carol's show because other people might deserve new kitchens.
-Magic's DJs have five hour shifts, and read their own news!
-And their links are awful...aw, bless 'em.
+====12. Just a Little Monkey Getting On With It ''(0:55:30)''====
-Karl read a little this past week on Galileo. He doesn't understand all the hubbub about Galileo. "We need a telly!" Karl brings this back the following week in the songs of phrase about galileo and science. but we need the telly!
+What was Ricky doing in 1978?  Songs of Phrase answers and a winner from [[Bognor Regis]].  [[Monkey News]] is about what happened to the astronaut monkey after he went into space.  They didn't even bother to bring Laika the dog back.  Steve inspects Karl's source.
-and a French fella said women shouldn't wear trousers. Rubbish. "That's a bit daft, innit", says Karl
-These things don't pass as education.
+==Quotes==
-"If I read it and it gets me thinkin' that's a good little piece." says Karl
+'''Ricky''': That is mental, Karl!  It's the most convoluted, ridiculous - ''racist'' - piece of material, ever to be uttered on radio! <br>
-Karl again recaps the woman down the street on the estate--the house with the horse in it. She used to wear leggings. They're a bad idea. Apparently another tidbit about this woman. She used to work one of those phone sex lines. Another thing--she had big eyelids. And there was another whole family there with big eyelids. Billy Joel's family I guess. "they suffered with big eyelids, they could hardly open their eyes."
+'''Steve''': Play it again!<br>
-"What freak town were you born in!" says ricky.
-The woman with the big head..."it looks just like a cartoon" says karl
+==Songs of Phrase==
-That show was on this week.
+'''I Know You're Just 16, But Looking All Of 21, That's Because The Chinese Look Older'''
-Karl can't play snooker with Ricky. Or go to the toilet. Steve can peer over the cubicle partition and interrupt karl's bathroom goin'
-Homeless talk. Steve confronted by someone who says, "I'm from Liverpool, and I'm homeless." Steve--well there, that's your problem! You're in London!"
+<br>Waterfront - "Cry" (I know you're just 16, but looking all of 21.) ''Mistakenly referred to as 'Hue & Cry' by Karl.
-More homeless and charity discussion.
+<br>Dean Martin - "That's Amore" (That's)
-The Bristol festival...Steve recaps it and talks about the St. John's Ambulance Service people. Big props to them!
+<br>Jane's Addiction - "Just Because" (because)
-Songs of phrase answers and now monkey news: the monkey astronaut who got his pension from NASA,was made a Colonel, trained other ? did he train Neil Armstrong? got his pension, died in 1969, was buried with his wife....
+<br>Phillip Bailey - "Chinese Wall" (the Chinese)
-Did he learn to take off or dock or press buttons?
+<br>Roxette - "The Look" (look)
-Ricky--I'm pretty sure he was tied in with electrodes and was there to study weightlessness and see if he got sick under 40g's.
+<br>George Michael - "Older" (older.)
+==Trivia==
+Ricky's proposed Radio 1 nickname, "The Furry Shreddie", is a reference to DJ Dave Lee Travis who dubbed himself "The Hairy Cornflake" when taking over as host of the Radio 1 Breakfast Show. "Quack quack oops" was a popular sound effect used on his show.
+When Ricky talks about phoning in to Chris Moyles' show, he professes to attempting to do so under the name of '[[Derek]]', while also using the voice of Derek Noakes.
+==Playlist==
+Kings of Leon - ''Molly's Chambers''<br>
+The Darkness - ''Growing on Me''<br>
+Bruce Springsteen - ''Atlantic City'' <br>
+Longview - ''Further'''<br>
+The Rolling Stones - ''Beast of Burden'' <br>
+Starsailor - ''Silence is Easy''<br>
+The Smiths - ''Panic''<br>
+Elbow - ''Fallen Angel''<br>
+Muse - ''Time is Running Out''<br>
+Radiohead - ''Let Down''<br>
+The Thrills - ''Santa Cruz''<br>
+Eddie & the Hot Rods - ''Do Anything You Want to Do''<br>
+The Verve - ''Sonnet''<br>
+==External Links==
+*[http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article82645.ece The Sun article on Hitler's penis]
+{{Xfm Box}}
+[[Category:Episode Pages|2.49]]


Series 0 \| Series 1 \| Series 2 \| Series 3 \| Series 4
Presenters	Ricky Gervais \| Stephen Merchant \| Karl Pilkington
Others	Claire Sturgess \| Ian Camfield \| Simon Pegg \| Nick Frost
Features	Monkey News \| Rockbusters \| Song For The Ladies \| Song For The Lovers Hip-Hop Hooray \| Cheap as Chimps \| White Van Karl \| Songs of Phrase Cheeky Freak of the Week \| Do We Need 'Em? \| More...