16 August 2003

Xfm Series 2 August 2002 - August 2003 List of episodes

Episodes: 24 August 2002 (Transcript) 31 August 2002 (Transcript) 07 September 2002 (Transcript) 14 September 2002 (Transcript) ('Best of') 21 September 2002 (Transcript) 28 September 2002 (Transcript) 05 October 2002 (Transcript) 12 October 2002 (Transcript) 19 October 2002 (Transcript) 26 October 2002 (Transcript) 02 November 2002 (Transcript) 09 November 2002 (Transcript) 16 November 2002 (Transcript) 23 November 2002 (Transcript) 30 November 2002 (Transcript) 07 December 2002 (Transcript) 14 December 2002 (Transcript) 21 December 2002 (Transcript) 28 December 2002 (Transcript) ('Best of') 04 January 2003 (Transcript) 11 January 2003 (Transcript) 18 January 2003 (Transcript) 25 January 2003 (Transcript) 01 February 2003 (Transcript) 08 February 2003 (Transcript) 15 February 2003 (Transcript) 22 February 2003 (Transcript) ('Best of') 01 March 2003 (Transcript) ('Best of') 08 March 2003 (Transcript) 15 March 2003 (Transcript) 22 March 2003 (Transcript) 29 March 2003 (Transcript) 05 April 2003 (Transcript) 12 April 2003 (Transcript) 19 April 2003 (Transcript) 26 April 2003 (Transcript) 03 May 2003 (Transcript) 10 May 2003 (Transcript) 17 May 2003 (Transcript) 31 May 2003 (Transcript) 07 June 2003 (Transcript) 14 June 2003 (Transcript) 21 June 2003 (Transcript) 28 June 2003 05 July 2003 12 July 2003 19 July 2003 26 July 2003 02 August 2003 09 August 2003 16 August 2003

16 August 2003 It's the final show so Ricky introduces 'Knobnews' and tries to explain the theory of relativity.

Track Listing

1. Finale
I would have thought that if someone was interested in having some good chat and some great laughts they'd spend more time with their friends. Or listen to a better radio station.

2. Morale
It's interesting how Ricky was saying he only does it for the fun. I haven't even got that bit. I'm paid peanuts for working Saturdays - which wrecks my weekend - and I have no fun. When I was trying to work with Steve, I think you were playing the accordion in my ear. Was it the accordion?

3. Deception
So he says 'Come in the flat, got an intersting book you might like' So I go in thinking that we're gonna get some good ideas from this book. Couldn't find the book, he looked for about 40 seconds and says 'Never mind, let's have a wrestle!'.

4. Knobnews
I read that the smallest ever functioning penis was under three quarters of an inch when erect. That is bad luck isn't it? That is a micro penis.

5. Tramps
Do you think they ever wake up, like at nine o clock before they've had anything and go 'Ooohhh! I was pissed last night!' 'Yeah, you were talking absolute rubbish' 'Oh, was I really embarrassing?'. I just imagine one of 'em going 'I'm not coming out tonight I've got no money', 'Well nor have we yet...'

6. Rockbusters
Rockbusters is basically Blockbusters - completely ripped off- done with music. It may or may not be a cryptic clue, may or may not be an actual band and may or may not be the letters he said.

7. Streettalk
it's the idea that an East End villain is going to write his biography and go 'I think I'll play with the form here, I'm going to get quite post-modern with this' he can hardly write probably...

8. Relativity
I mean, I mean my head's buzzing but I can't be bothered. I just can't be bothered. Don't think that this reaction is a good reaction, I just don't know where to start with this drivel!

9. Telegraph
I think I know what Monday's headline's gonna be. It's not gonna be about the power cuts, or the enquiry or terrorism. It's going to be 'No More To Knobnews!

10. Politics
Oh, politics. Though. What do you think of politics? Say something satirical about, er, John Prescott. What do you make of George W Bush - he's a bit stupid isn't he?

11. Karl Washes Up and Shows Some Cheek
So you were looking at a woman dancing around naked, right? So the only thing you could do was immediately drop your boxer shorts?!

12. Answers
This is rubbish. This isn't even funny it's just wrong. It's not cryptic it's just wrong! Colly Osbourne? Her name is not Colly! HER NAME IS NOT COLLY!

13. Monkey News
Well I believe that he's got better exam results than you Karl, but I don't believe he's got a PhD in Physics...

Quotes

Steve: Sorry, stop! Just stop for a moment...I don't think this is a conversation to be had, on a Saturday afternoon on a radio show.

Download

16 August 2003

External Links

• More info on this episode from Xfm.co.uk
• Someone "setting fire to some magnesium"