31 May 1998

31 May 1998 is the earliest, and one of the only known complete recordings of the original Ricky Gervais Show on Xfm.

Ricky and Steve discuss Geri Halliwell leaving the Spice Girls, past pop culture items which Steve doesn't remember and Ricky's swearing. Also features music by Brainmangle, Velvetnazi666UK, Muff Shandy and Tony Buddabing.

Xfm Series 0 January 1998 - August 1998 List of episodes

Episodes: 31 May 1998 (Transcript) 07 June 1998 (Transcript) Tape 1 Side A (Transcript) Tape 1 Side B (Transcript) Tape 2 Side A (Transcript) Tape 2 Side B (Transcript) Tape 3 Side A (Transcript) Tape 3 Side B (Transcript) Tape 4 (Transcript) The Best of the Rest (Transcript)

Track Listing

1. It's Ten Past Four

Ricky does a very professional, comprehensible link.

2. Singing The Praises Of Penk

Steve asks Ricky about him allegedly signing autographs, which Ricky did whilst at an Xfm 'roadshow' in a Dr. Martens shop, he signed at least 30 or 40, Gary Crowley, who was also there, apparently looks like a spotty shop assistant. Ricky tells a joke, they're only allowed to tell one a show lest they become like Steve Penk, not that there's anything wrong with Penk.

3. Why Should I Stay?

Steve gives us a reason to stay tuned - an upcoming movie quiz! Two more fake adverts, one for Brainmangle and their new single Blood, Sweat and Cum and one for Fuck Like a Rhino by Velvet Nazi 666 UK.

4. Is Ricky Gervais A Very Good DJ?

They talk about the impending split of The Spice Girls and rumours of Geri leaving following bullying from Scary Spice, Steve was also bullied by a pop star at school, that pop star was Lionel Ritchie. Apparently the 14 year old Steve had no chance against a man with a string of top ten hits. Amazingly Ricky had a similar experience, being bullied at school by a whole band. That band was Hanson. The bastards. A skit plays advertising a helpline where upset Spice Girls fans can call Ricky to help them cope with Ginger's departure. An example of such a call is played, it inevitably ends in Ricky discussing mucky photos.

5. After The Advert There'll Be Another Break

Another innocuous link, followed by an advert for Muff Shandy's "Earplugs are Gay".

6. D'you Know Terry Wise?

Steve doesn't remember Pillsbury Dough, Ricky asks people to call in to inform Steve of his twatitude, Steve promises a reference to stump Gervais, but struggles. Was the Pillsbury Doughboy a toy? No! Though Ricky does play with his food. Steve conjures up Jamie and His Magic Torch, but Ricky's heard of it. Ricky rambles on like an old incoherent drunk, Steve asks if he's on crack. Another sketch advertising some new toiletries - "Panderers with Aloe Bahaha Groovy Caring Stuff" which can be used as a 'clunge protector' for your granddad.

7. Super Slick On The Mic

Steve has figured out what Pillsbury Dough meant, and explains what the advert was for those who could not understand Ricky's nonsense, Steve explains how he communicates using thought and careful word selection, unlike Ricky who just goes "words, words, words, stop, words, words, annoyed, annoyed, words", they argue about Gervais' excitement undermining his speech, he should never start a sentence with 'and' or 'because'. A listener ask does Ricky remember a show called Billy Liar, he does, except Steve points out there was no such program (he is wrong - there was), but does remember the film, the play and the book of the same name. Ricky demands booze and Steve asks for margaritas, apparently Ricky was on the margaritas the night before, Steve claims he was too, in what turns out to be a filthy innuendo.

8. Were You Crawling?

Ricky has a very limited set of DJ patter. Steve recounts an anecdote about a very short man, with a face that looked stapled together, that he encountered on the way to Ricky's house. The little man asks for a ride on Steve's back, Steve says no and encounters some hostility. If it had been a little woman however, he might have been more accommodating.

9. Steve Made Me Do It

Ricky introduces some ads, then The Housemartins.

10. You Know She Had Two 'No's

Steve explains why he chose The Housemartins track, it reminded him of a girl he used to go out with. The girl was quite odd, obviously. She used to decide things by selecting random pieces of paper with different answers on. Should I carry on going out with Steve? No.

13. Competition Time!

The gang play a clip from a classic movie and discuss Ricky's constant swearing and how Ricky's swearing is magically being bleeped out live!

15. Labour MP Attacked by Strange Freak

Also includes advert for Tony Buddabing's Easy Metal.

16. I Wish I Could Beep Him Out

Ricky and Steve hang around for the start of Lawrie Hallett's show.

Quotes

Steve: See when I want to explain something alright, Gervais, what I do is, I think 'What do I need to say, how can I best express it, which words shall I use and in what order ... when you want to express something you just go "Words, words, words, words, stop, words, words, oh, annoyed, annoyed, words", D'you know what I mean, it's just gobbledygook, Gervais!

Playlist

Jesus and Mary Chain - Black
Oasis - Married With Children
Soundtrack of our Lives - Instant Repeater 99
Blur - Tracy Jacks
House of Pain - Jump Around
Gomez - Get Myself Arrested
Drugstore - Sober
Portishead - Numb
The Housemartins - Happy Hour
Delgados - Everything Goes Around
Babybird - Scope - Song for Bobby Radiohead - Black Star
Pulp - Do You Remember The First Time
Placebo -

Download

Toucan vault/ MF