25 January 2003

Xfm Series 2 August 2002 - August 2003 List of episodes

Episodes: 24 August 2002 (Transcript) 31 August 2002 (Transcript) 07 September 2002 (Transcript) 14 September 2002 (Transcript) ('Best of') 21 September 2002 (Transcript) 28 September 2002 (Transcript) 05 October 2002 (Transcript) 12 October 2002 (Transcript) 19 October 2002 (Transcript) 26 October 2002 (Transcript) 02 November 2002 (Transcript) 09 November 2002 (Transcript) 16 November 2002 (Transcript) 23 November 2002 (Transcript) 30 November 2002 (Transcript) 07 December 2002 (Transcript) 14 December 2002 (Transcript) 21 December 2002 (Transcript) 28 December 2002 (Transcript) ('Best of') 04 January 2003 (Transcript) 11 January 2003 (Transcript) 18 January 2003 (Transcript) 25 January 2003 (Transcript) 01 February 2003 (Transcript) 08 February 2003 (Transcript) 15 February 2003 (Transcript) 22 February 2003 (Transcript) ('Best of') 01 March 2003 (Transcript) ('Best of') 08 March 2003 (Transcript) 15 March 2003 (Transcript) 22 March 2003 (Transcript) 29 March 2003 (Transcript) 05 April 2003 (Transcript) 12 April 2003 (Transcript) 19 April 2003 (Transcript) 26 April 2003 (Transcript) 03 May 2003 (Transcript) 10 May 2003 (Transcript) 17 May 2003 (Transcript) 31 May 2003 (Transcript) 07 June 2003 (Transcript) 14 June 2003 (Transcript) 21 June 2003 (Transcript) 28 June 2003 05 July 2003 12 July 2003 19 July 2003 26 July 2003 02 August 2003 09 August 2003 16 August 2003

25 January 2003 Stephen is nominated for a 'Most Eligible Bachelor' award, much to Ricky's amusement, and Monkey News is born, today called 'Chimpanzee That!'

Track Listing

1. Head
There was this woman who had a big head and she was fed up with it because when she was walking down the street it was so big that she couldn't hold it up...'

2. Dad
So he called them up and said 'Alright - Mr Pilkington here. Bought a bed off you, you conned me but forget that. We've dealt with that...'.

3. Poll
Yeah, but according to Heat, I was 22nd most sexy man in the world...

4. Yob
I remember smashing a car window by accident and legging it into the lounge and pretending to go to sleep on the settee...

5. Rockbusters
So it's a rollover but you haven't added to it? The point of a rollover is that you've got to add to it! That's the excitement!

This is probably one of the funniest Ricky Gervais impressions ever..... "I am bloody jealous of that" "I like that" "That yellow thing" "Rodney you plonker" "Don't call me a plonker yooooou wanker" "I am shitting meself running" "Sandra get bck here .. meowww meoww" ....
SM: What's that supposed to be an impression of?
Genius stuff.

Rockbusters
Weather stinks dunnit? R
Look gran, just get on the boat and help us out. R
If you are going to do that with the drink, I will wait for it to settle a bit. CK

6. Monkey News

You both went out to make tea, but only one of you came back with a bin over your head.

What are you talking about? 'It's against the law for a monkey to have a fag?' What if he got it himself? What if he earned it moving tyres around?
That's as much as you know, literally?

7. Conundrum
So the advice there is do the arranged marriage - if she's not completely minging - and don't worry about dancing; get a go-kart.
If you put a chameleon on a mirror, what will it do?
If there are too many buildings getting built, won't the earth collapse?
Where did all the plastics come from?
If you plant a seed, it grows to a tree Don't listen to him, Karl...

8. Overrated
Why do I need to know that the Earth sucks us towards it? If I was floating around it'd be a problem, I'd ask his opinion...

9. Moan
You were complaining about that as well weren't you? You went to a museum and you said there were too many dinosaurs, you only need four...'

10. Ladies
If there are any ladies listening, every week of course I play a song for the ladies and I hope now you'll return the favour and vote for me...

Download

25 January 2003

External Links

• More info on this episode from Xfm.co.uk